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“And the other ten?”

That got another sigh, this one absolutely breaking her heart. “Thinks I’d be a fool not to.” He palmed the back of his neck, shaking his head. “You have no idea, the war that’s going on in my head right now. Between what I want and what’s right. And until those two mesh in my head...” He lowered her gaze to hers. “I can’t.”

“Can’t?”

“Okay, shouldn’t.” Another breath. “Won’t.”

“I understand.” And oddly enough, she did. Of course, leave it to her to find the most honorable man on the entire planet in a town so small half the houses didn’t even have real addresses. She gave him a little smile. “But at least I got a couple fabulous kisses out of the deal.”

He chuckled. “Same here.” Then he stood, holding out his hands. “Need help?”

“Unless I plan on sleeping out here tonight? Yep.”

Once back in the chair, Mallory looked up into that strong, gentle face, finding herself wondering what it must’ve been like, being his wife. Being the focus of all that devotion. And for a moment she actually felt envious of a dead woman, God help her.

Except then she thought, if what she saw in front of her was the result of loving that hard, she wouldn’t want to be the cause of that much pain for anything.

“You know, this is where I’d stand on tiptoe to give you a kiss on the cheek before making my graceful exit. But I can’t exactly do that.”

In the deepening twilight, she saw him smile before he bent over, close enough for her to inhale his scent. “How’s this?”

She reached up to touch his cheek. “Still can’t reach,” she said, and he bent closer, his late-day whiskers scratching her lips, still sensitive from all that earlier kissing. Same as her heart, she thought, glad he couldn’t see the tears brimming on her lower lashes. Not for herself, though. For him.

Which could only mean one thing—

“I’ll go back first,” she said, “so we don’t start a gossip riot.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, standing straight again, and she could feel his eyes on her back as she wheeled away. As well as her heart swelling to the point where it felt like it might burst.

Yep, she was in love, all righty. In a way she’d never been before. In no small part because she’d never known a man like this before.

Well, poop.

* * *

After the wedding, the boys had wanted to play a little longer with Austin—because spending the last three hours together running around together hadn’t been enough—and Zach was too mentally fried to come up with a reason why they couldn’t. Val’s former in-laws had taken the girls so Levi and Val could have a short honeymoon up in Durango across the Colorado border, his parents had left early, and frankly Zach didn’t want to go home, either, to a house perfumed with too many memories, too many unrealized hopes and dreams. Normally he could hack it, but tonight...not really.

So here he was in their old childhood home, the three-bedroom cabin on the property that came with the foreman’s job. Not huge, but adequate. Comfortable. Place hadn’t changed much, though, since Zach and his brothers had lived there with their parents—same worn upholstered furniture, same even more worn rugs, same burn marks in the wooden floor fronting the stone fireplace from when
somebody
hadn’t bothered replacing the grate and a red-hot log had tumbled out and nearly caught the carpet on fire. Not to mention that old Labrador retriever they’d had back then.

Said somebody came out of the kitchen with two mugs of coffee, handing one to Zach before—carefully—sinking into the middle sofa cushion with a huge sigh. The boys were all in Austin’s room, lost in a world where a miniature toy car could take you anywhere you wanted to go, and a box of old Halloween costumes could change you into anybody you wanted to be. Too bad there weren’t such things for grown-ups, Zach thought, morosely sipping his coffee.

His brother was close enough to prod Zach’s foot with the toe of his own boot. “What’s up with you?”

A question he’d never have asked when he would’ve only been five to Zach’s twelve, thirteen to Zach’s twenty. Funny how adulthood leveled things out. On that score, anyway. Although the brothers had grown closer since Levi’s discharge from the Army that past May, the bond between the twins—and their feeling of comfort about sharing with each other—was much stronger than between Zach and them. At one time Zach and his other brother, Colin, only a year younger than him, had been best buds, but since he hadn’t even heard from him in years...

Forcing a smile, he turned to the brother who
was
there and threw him a bone. “The wedding hit me harder than I thought it would. That’s all.”

Josh frowned. “You’re not happy for them?”

“Of course I’m happy for them, that’s not what I said. Jerk.”

Josh shrugged. As he would. He never had been the type to take offense.

“Val’s great. And great for Levi. But it’s the first wedding I’ve gone to since...”

“Right,” Josh said softly. “Sorry.”

Of course, no way was Zach gonna talk about what’d transpired between him and Mallory. And not only because Zach hadn’t completely processed it himself yet. Wasn’t all that sure he ever would, truthfully. She’d never know what it took for him to turn down her offer. Then again, maybe she would. Only once before had he known someone able to burrow into his brain like that, figure out what he was thinking even before he did. It’d been scary as hell then, and it was a hundred times scarier now.

From Austin’s room, he heard Jeremy taking charge of whatever game they were playing. The kid always played fair, though, never taking advantage of being the older one—

“So Mallory said her son’s coming out next week?”

Zach was beginning to wonder if his skull was transparent. “Yeah,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee and trying not to make a face. His brother couldn’t make coffee worth crap. “Which reminds me—” he set the mug on the table in front of him, folding his hands between his knees “—she needs another horse. For herself, this time.”

Because what’d happened between them didn’t change that fact. Nor would Zach let it interfere with following through on what he’d started.

Josh grinned. “Kinda thought that was coming. She told me about you taking her out to Adrienne’s place. She really needs an animal already trained for her needs, though. I can’t help you there. I don’t suppose Adrienne would sell one of hers?”

“Unfortunately, no. I already asked.”

“Hmm...” His brother’s forehead bunched for a moment, then he snapped his fingers. “Hold on—” He set his own mug on the end table, then leaned over to dig his cell phone out of his back pocket. “I seem to remember...” After several clicks, he turned the phone around to Zach. “You ever heard of this outfit?”

Squinting, Zach took the phone, shaking his head. Some horse farm down near Albuquerque. Josh stretched over the table to point at the screen. “That’s what they do. Raise and train horses for special needs riders.”

“Like what Adrienne does, you mean.”

“Adrienne only trains horses for her own operation. These folks train ’em to sell. Or donate, in certain cases. You should give ’em a call, see if they’ve got one that’d work for Mallory.” He took his phone from Zach, crossing his arms high on his chest before sinking into the cushions again. Then a sly smile snaked across his face. “Might be a good excuse for the two of you to have a little time away together. Alone. I’m sure somebody will take the boys.”

Heat stabbed at Zach’s face. “What are you on about?”

“You know, next time you decide to make out with a girl you might want to pick someplace a little less public?”

Zach muttered a cussword that made Josh chuckle. “Who else saw?” he said, not daring to look at his brother.

“Nobody but me. I swear. I just happened to step outside for a second, and...” He shrugged. “And no, I’m not gonna blab, so you can wipe that ‘I’m screwed’ look off your face.” A second passed before he said, “So what does this mean, exactly?”

Heaving to his feet, Zach swiped his jacket off the arm of the chair and shrugged into it. “Like you never kissed a gal just for the sake of kissing her.”

The smirk faded from his brother’s face. “Not talking about me, bro. Because you know as well as I do random encounters aren’t your style.”

“What I know is that I don’t have to explain my actions to you or anybody else—”

“Very true.” Josh stood as well, his fingers shoved in his jeans’ front pockets, a frown gouging his forehead. “Long as they make sense to
you
, what other people think is of no consequence. But can I say one more thing?”

“No.”

“From where I was standing it sure looked to me like you were having a damn good time. Maybe even having
fun
. And when’s the last time you had some of that? Jeebus, Zach—it’s not a crime to let yourself be happy again.”

A dozen retorts playing through his head, Zach stared his brother down for several moments before deciding the smartest choice was to keep his yap shut. “Thanks for the coffee,” he muttered, then walked to the end of the hall to call his boys.

Because being
alone
suddenly
sounded really appealing.

Except, as he went about getting his boys fed and bathed and in bed and read to—a process that seemed to take longer every night—he had to admit his brother’s suggestion wasn’t exactly
un
appealing. If impractical.

Not to mention illogical.

Really.

Then again, the woman still needed a horse...

Chapter Nine

“H
ey,” Landon said, squinting at Mallory on the laptop screen. “You look really nice. You going somewhere?”

Damn. He
would
call when she was on her way out the door, to go with Zach to a horse farm in Corrales, right outside Albuquerque. Just the two of them. Spending most of the day together. And, yeah, color her shocked when he’d made the suggestion, especially considering how their little interlude had ended. Then again, they
were
grown-ups.

Grown-ups with very grown-up yearnings that hadn’t been met in a dog’s age. Both of whom had very tender hearts right now, even if for very different reasons.

Could Landon hear her heart pounding? Lord, she hoped not.

Probably best not to tell him about Zach. Not yet. Now. Whatever.

Or, actually, the new horse, either. Hors
es
.

“Just out with a friend,” she said, casually, praying she wasn’t blushing. Some actress she was.

“Where?”

“Shopping.” Two questions, two not-lies. So far, so good.

“What’s her name? The friend?”

Crap. “
His
name. Zach. The guy you met on my phone?”

“For like a
second
.” Her son’s brow crinkled, almost the way he used to do when he was tiny, and for a moment she wished she could have that adorable, innocent toddler back. “Do you, y’know, like him?”

Mallory sputtered a laugh. “Of course I
like
him, he’s my friend.”

She could almost say that with a straight face, even. As long as she didn’t think about the kissing. Or didn’t think, period. So that was a
no
.

“Will
I
like him?”

Weird, how the kid assumed he’d meet Zach. Weirder, still, was how often Mallory had played out that very scenario in her head. Of course, twenty-four hours ago she would have called herself
muy loco
for entertaining such a thought.

“Well, I have no idea what his plans are while you’re here,” she hedged. “But I don’t see why you wouldn’t like him. He’s a nice man. And he has two little boys of his own.”

“Yeah? How old?”

Again, Mallory tried to keep her expression neutral. But it was no secret that Landon had always wanted siblings, even when he was tiny. “Seven and three.”

“Oh,” he said, sounding almost disappointed. She made a mental note to ask around, see if she could scare up some kids his age. Clearing her throat, she fiddled with the infinity scarf circling her neck. “So how’s Dad?”

Landon shrugged. “Okay, I guess. He and Priscilla are going to drive up the PCH while I’m out there with you. I heard him talking to her about some bed-and-breakfast up near San Francisco.”

Her chest knotted. “Did he say which one?”

“Um...the something Valley Inn? Don’t remember. Sounds like the most boring trip ever, if you ask me.”

Well, color her flabbergasted. With a side order of pissed. Since the “something” Valley Inn—because, really, what were the odds that Russell would randomly pick another one with Valley as part of the name?—was the one he and Mallory had called “theirs,” back in the day when they’d make that trip up the Pacific Coast Highway every couple of months or so, before Landon was born.

Where Landon had happened, actually.

“Mom? You okay? You look weird.”

The doorbell rang, setting off Edgar and her mother’s shushing Edgar as they both scurried to the front door.

“I’m fine. A little twinge, that’s all.”

“Mom. You can stop pretending, you know? I get it.” His still smooth forehead crinkled. “I can
see
it. It’s okay to say when it hurts.”

Actually, more than one therapist—physical and psychological—had pointed out that not only could they not help her if she wasn’t honest about her pain with them, but that being up-front with Landon would also help her son become more empathetic. Although clearly her sweet boy was that already, even without her help.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop.”

“Good,” he said, sounding like he was forty, for cripes’ sake.

Of course, he had no idea the twinge this time had nothing to do with her compromised body. Although she could definitely feel it in the vicinity of her heart.

“Whatever,” she said brightly. “And in any case, getting out will be good for me. Take my mind off...stuff. So I have to go, cutie-pie. But I’ll call later, okay?”

“Okay.” He grinned, his dimples twinkling. For the most part he looked like his father, but he definitely got her dimples. “Five more days! I can’t wait!”