A Bee in Her Bonnet (19 page)

If only it was as easy to pry him out of her heart.

Chapter Sixteen

Luke didn't even have the heart to pick up a knife and whittle a pencil. The hissing propane lantern was his only companion as he sat in the dim shadows of his workshop and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

He cradled his head in his hands and stared at the floor, lightly covered with sawdust. Sawdust was a permanent part of any wood shop. He'd sweep it out in the morning because he couldn't muster the energy or the desire to do it tonight.

How had he managed to make such a mess of things? One minute he was pouring out a heartfelt apology to Poppy, and the next minute he was accusing her of being pigheaded.

And somehow, he'd made things worse. Much worse.

The ache in his chest felt like an old scab that had been ripped off. Poppy would never talk to him again, and he thought he might lose the ability to breathe.

Dan poked his head in the wood shop. “Can we come in?”

Luke nodded. He wasn't in the mood for his friends tonight, even though he'd asked them to come over. Everything just felt too raw. Maybe he should tell them to come back another time, when he felt more like talking. Two or three years should be long enough.

Josiah and Dan strolled into his wood shop, an ample space Luke and his
dat
had built just off the road at the front of their property when Luke's carpentry business had started to make some money. Josiah ran his finger along the table saw, leaving a trail where the sawdust had been.

He should probably dust tomorrow too.

“I expected you a long time ago,” Luke said, not even bothering to stand. His friends knew their way around.

Dan pulled an unstained chair from the stack of furniture Luke had sanded today. Josiah sat on a wobbly stool that Luke should have fixed three days ago. He'd been letting too many things slide since that day at the ditch.

“I had to take Lily and her sisters home,” Dan said. “And I wasn't about to cut my visit short to come see you.”

“I never could abide being around a man in love,” Luke said, tempering his words with a weak smile.

Dan grinned. “You're the one who invited me.”

Josiah, whose stool was taller than either of the chairs his friends sat on, towered above Luke and Dan like a sycamore. “So, Luke. What is the emergency? Did you call it off with Dinah Eicher?”

“Jah,”
Luke said.

Josiah frowned. “I was joking.”

“I wasn't.”

Dan nodded and rested his arms on his knees. “What happened?”

“It doesn't matter what happened. That's not the emergency.”

“I'm listening,” Dan said, as if he knew exactly what Luke would say.

“I need your help with Poppy.”

“Poppy?” Josiah asked. “What happened with Poppy?”

“I don't know much,” Dan said. “But I know she's really mad at you.”

Luke blew out a puff of air. “I've really messed it up, and I don't know if I can make it right again.”

Josiah scooted his stool closer. It scraped loudly along the floor. “So tell us what happened.”

“She jumped in the ditch to save those cats, and I got mad at her.”

“We heard the story,” Josiah said.

“I got really mad at her. I yelled. I told her she was weak and that she would never be as good at anything as the boys.” He ran his fingers angrily through his hair. “I told her I hated her.”

Dan and Josiah were stunned into silence. They stared at him as if he'd sprouted an extra ear.

He lifted his hands in a gesture of hopelessness. “Tonight at the gathering I tried to say I'm sorry and ended up accusing her of being pigheaded. I couldn't even apologize without offending her.”

Josiah stood and paced, leaving little imprints in the sawdust where he stepped. “It's not that I don't care about you and Poppy, but do you think this will hurt my chances with Rose? I mean, if my best friend and her sister hate each other, maybe she'll think she should stay away.”

“Poppy said it wouldn't hurt your chances at all.”

“Poppy said that?”

“She thought you forced me to apologize.”

Josiah narrowed his eyes. “She ... she knows about me and Rose?”

Luke leaned forward. “Everybody knows, Josiah. Your face is like a billboard.”

“Does Rose know?”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Everybody but Rose. Could we talk about me now?”

Dan rubbed the whiskers on his chin and studied Luke's face. “So you were mean?”

“Really mean.”

“And you feel bad because you're too obstinate and grumpy to make a decent apology.”

Luke scowled. “Do you even like me or are you just pretending to be my friend?”

Dan chuckled. “I like you well enough yet. You're a good friend to have because when I see what a sorry state you're in, I always feel better about myself.”

“That's not funny.”

Dan wiped the smile off his face. “Why do you feel so bad? You and Poppy have had plenty of dust-ups before.”

Luke groaned and slapped his palm against his forehead. “And the drill. I kept the drill.
Oy
, anyhow, how could I have been so stupid?”

Josiah looked at Dan. “What is he talking about?”

“I have no idea.” Dan leaned forward and pinned Luke with an unwavering gaze. “What it comes down to is this. You love Poppy Christner.”

Luke forced a laugh. “Love her? Dan, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. I don't love Poppy Christner. She's strong-willed and independent and has made it very clear she doesn't need a man. I like her, but I was really mean and now she can't stand the sight of me. I hate that she can't stand the sight of me. I want her to like me. I want her to be happy. I want her to smile at me and talk to me and help me build chicken coops. She's not like any other girl I know, and oh,
sis yuscht
, I love her.”

He'd just been hit by a speeding freight train, and the blow would have knocked him off his feet if he'd been standing. Burying his face in his hands, he let the emotions pound into him.

He loved Poppy Christner.

And it hurt so bad.

Dan chuckled softly. “I tried to warn you. You should have been nice. She despises you.”

“That's not helpful,” Josiah said. “Can't you see he's in a bad way?”

Luke massaged the lines on his forehead. “Dan is speaking the truth. She hates me.” He lifted his head. “But he doesn't have to be so smug about it.”

Josiah furrowed his brow. “Poppy doesn't hate you. I can't imagine she hates anybody, except maybe Paul Glick.”

“
Nae
, Josiah, she hates me. She told me so herself.”

Josiah seemed to deflate as he sat on his stool. “Then there's no hope.”

“Right,” Luke said. “No hope. I feel better already. I'm so glad you came over.”

“I don't think it's a permanent condition,” Dan said. “If she were dead set against you, she wouldn't be so sad.”

Luke frowned. “She's sad?”

“When I took her home tonight, she didn't say a word, and I can always get Poppy to talk to me, even when she's in a bad mood. She was definitely not happy.”

“I don't know what to do. My apology went very wrong.”

“You need something big.” Dan eyed Luke as if trying to determine his commitment to something big.

“I'll do anything to get rid of this ache in my chest. I don't mind begging for forgiveness.”

Dan shook his head. “She's already forgiven you. Despite all her protests, Poppy really does blame herself. She knows she's stubborn and strong-willed, but she doesn't think those are good qualities.”

“Those are her best qualities,” Luke said.

“The community bears part of the blame for how Poppy feels about herself. Bitsy and Poppy's sisters have done their best to build her up, but so many people, including her
dawdi
, have mocked her for being different. She truly believes she is undeserving because of who she is.”

Luke swallowed the lump in his throat. “A beautiful, feisty girl who wants to help everybody.”

The ache flared into searing regret. How many times had he told Poppy she was stubborn? He hadn't meant it as a compliment. She'd never taken it as one. How many times had he teased her for being a tomboy or chided her for not being demure and submissive, like Dinah Eicher?

Yet it was Poppy he loved. He loved her determination and her bravery and her refusal to be cowed by what other people thought of her. Her refusal to be bullied by him. He massaged the lines in his forehead as if he could erase them. He felt lower than a snake in a well.

Luke could tell Dan was sort of tired of reminding Luke of all his faults. “She was starting to trust you, and you shoved her face in the dirt.”

Ach
. He'd never be happy again.

Dan reached out and placed a hand on Luke's shoulder. “I tell the truth because I'm your friend.”

“The truth really hurts.”

Dan tried to smile. “Now you know what the damage is, you can repair it.”

Luke scrubbed his fingers through his hair yet again. “I can't. I've hurt her too deep.”

“I saw that chicken coop,” Josiah said. “I wouldn't have been able to fix it.”

Luke looked sideways at Josiah. “You can't fix anything.”

Josiah ignored the insult. “But you can.”

He couldn't. He couldn't fix things with Poppy. Their relationship was like that demolished chicken coop. “No one could have put that thing back together.”

“You had to start over,” Dan said.

It was as if someone had lit a match in his dark life. “Start over?”

“Soften her up with something really big.”

It suddenly felt easier to breathe. Trying was better than despairing. “Do you think I can make her love me?”

Dan waved that suggestion away. “Let's work on building a little trust first.”

“What do you suggest?” Luke asked.

“I don't know,” Dan said.

Luke smirked. “
Denki
for the help.”

“I just know it has to be big, and you have to keep your mouth shut.”

“How am I supposed to restore her trust if I keep my mouth shut?” Luke said.

“Every time you've opened your mouth, you've made it worse.”

Luke grunted. “For sure and certain.”

Dan made a fist and tapped Luke on the shoulder. “You're trying to win Poppy, not beat her, so don't make everything a competition and don't say anything about women's work, as if it's below you. The Honeybee Sisters do everybody's work. Believe me, you're not better than they are.”

“Of course I'm not better. It's just that my
dat
always taught me that men are to do the hard work because women are softer and weaker.”

“You might have more arm strength than Poppy, but that doesn't mean you should push her around,” Dan said.

“I don't want to push anybody,” Luke said, scowling. “And you're confusing me. All I want to know is how to get Poppy to love me.”

“We'll help you if we can,” Josiah said.

Josiah couldn't even work up the nerve to take Rose on a ride. He wouldn't be much help with Poppy. “Dan, you're always welcome at the Christners',” Luke said. “You can put in a
gute
word for me.”

Dan frowned and folded his arms. “We've got our work cut out for us. Not only is Poppy dead set against you, but Lily and Rose don't take kindly to anyone hurting their sister's feelings. And after your wonderful-bad apology, Bitsy might never let you in the house again. She's not afraid to wave that shotgun around.”

“If she shot me, I couldn't feel any worse than I do already.”

Josiah nodded. “That's the spirit.”

Luke's heart hurt so bad, he couldn't sit up straight. He wasn't in love with an ordinary girl like Dinah Eicher or Mary Schrock. This was Poppy Christner—a girl worth fighting for.

And he'd fight tooth and nail for her.

Even if she put up a fight.

Chapter Seventeen

Aunt B's voice rang loud and clear in the orchard. “I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty, so hurry up and bring your jukebox money.” Poppy loved hearing Aunt B sing the “Lob Song” or the other hymns they sang at
gmay
, but at home she often sang
Englisch
songs that the girls didn't know and couldn't sing along with. Poppy didn't mind. She was perfectly content to listen and try to figure out what in the world the songs were about.

Poppy looked down at her bucket with a few measly cherries at the bottom. It didn't help her low spirits to know that she was worse than no help at all. She quickly glanced around. Her sisters and Aunt B were hidden among the trees picking cherries on ladders. An empty ladder stood right next to Poppy's tree. If she climbed up a couple of rungs, she'd be able to reach so many more cherries. Balancing with one good hand couldn't be that hard. She glanced around again for good measure, then stepped up one rung and then another. She put her bucket on the top step, propped her injured arm on the next step down, and reached for a cherry.

“Poppy Christner,” Aunt B called from the treetops. “Get down from that ladder. I won't have you singing with the angels in heaven just yet.”

Poppy groaned, grabbed her bucket, and stepped down. “I only want to help, Aunt B.”

“You'll be no help at all if you're in the hospital. Pick what you can reach with both feet on the ground.”

Ach.
She needed two good hands today. Even though it was a small orchard, it took Poppy, Aunt B, and her sisters the better part of three days to pick all the cherries. This year, without Poppy, it might take a whole week. She felt only slightly better knowing that Dan would come and help after milking. He couldn't give every waking hour to the Honeybee Sisters' farm. He had his own chores at home.

Poppy tried to hold a branch down and pick cherries off it at the same time. It didn't work very well. She got three cherries in her bucket and a scratch on her wrist. She only needed to wear the sling for one more week. What would it hurt if she just slipped it off for a couple of hours so she could pick cherries? It wasn't as if she'd be doing somersaults through the orchard. She hung her bucket on a low branch and slid the sling strap over her head. She'd leave it off for a few minutes and see how it felt. No one would ever have to know.

“Poppy Christner, put that sling back on this minute.”

Poppy threw her head back and sighed a long, plaintive sigh. She knew one thing with certainty. Aunt B had eyes in the back of her head. “Can't I try picking without it on?”

“Nope. The doctor said two weeks or he'd have to amputate.”

“He did not.”

“I'd rather not push our luck.”

“We're Amish, Aunt B. We don't believe in luck.”

“Speak for yourself,” Aunt B called back. “I believe in luck, karma, and fortune cookies.”

Poppy gave up trying to be sneaky and settled for picking all the cherries she could reach on her tippy toes. She placed the bucket on the ground and dropped the cherries in one by one. At this rate, she'd have half a bucketful by nightfall.

She did a very graceful pirouette on her toes, reaching for a cherry, when Luke Bontrager came walking through the orchard with a bucket in his hand and a doubtful look on his face. She lost her balance, and he grabbed her arm before she fell over. “You okay?” he said.

She brushed off her dress and tried to pretend he hadn't set her aching heart racing. “I'm fine.”

He quickly released her arm, as if he'd done something wrong, but didn't let his eyes stray from her face. “Dan said the cherries were on, so I came to see if you could use some help.”

“Is that you, Luke Bontrager?” Aunt B called.

Luke looked up to try to figure out where the voice came from. “Is that you, Bitsy Kiem?”

“Maybe. Or maybe it's your conscience calling you to repentance.”

He gave Poppy a half smile. She wished she didn't like that smile so much. “I'm sure I need it.”

The tree above Aunt Bitsy's ladder shook. “I know you do.” A few cherries plopped to the ground below Aunt B. “Don't you have a job, Luke Bontrager? Or did you get fired?”

Luke glanced at Poppy, then up into the trees, obviously a little unsure about having a conversation with an unseen voice. “I carved out a little time today to help with the cherries. Is it okay if I help you pick?”

Of course it wasn't okay. Luke hated Poppy. Poppy hated him. They'd probably end up yelling at each other.

Aunt B paused for a good, long time. “Are you going to pester Poppy to get a tetanus shot or an X-ray?”

Luke didn't take his eyes from Poppy. It made her nervous. “No pestering. I just want to help.”

“We don't need your help,” Aunt B replied. “You can go home.”

Lily picked at a tree to Poppy's right. “That's not true, Aunt B. We've got to get these cherries before the wind takes them, and Poppy's only got one
gute
hand.”

“And you won't let her get on the ladder,” Rose called from somewhere behind Poppy.

Poppy ground her teeth together. Her sisters were way too welcoming. They might have needed Luke's help, but Poppy didn't want it. She'd rather happily pick her measly amount of cherries than be miserable for weeks because of Luke. Or longer. Right now she felt so downhearted, she could see the misery going on for years.

Luke raised his bucket even though Aunt B couldn't see it. “I brought my own bucket.”

“I don't know why you think that makes a difference,” Aunt B said.

He turned to Poppy with a pleading look in his eyes. “I'd really like to help. It's my fault you can't use both arms.”

His fault indeed.

What could she say? If she said no, her sisters would be stuck with the extra work. If she agreed to let him stay, it would be a rotten day.

She pressed her lips together. She was having a rotten day anyway. How much worse could Luke make it?

She didn't want to know the answer to that question.

“We'd be grateful for your help,” she heard herself say, in a surprisingly polite tone. She wouldn't have to say a word to him. He wouldn't be forced to talk to her. She knew how unpleasant that must be for him.

His smile bloomed like a sunflower. “
Denki
. I can stay until supper time.”

Aunt Bitsy rattled her tree again. “Just watch yourself. Every time you come over, Poppy gets hurt.”

His smile lost some of its luster. “I hope that won't happen again.”

“Show him how to pick, Poppy,” Aunt Bitsy said.

Poppy grimaced. She didn't even want to be in the same orchard with him. “You have to pick them with the stems,” she said, showing him how to snap the cherries off the tree. “They stay fresher that way.”

Luke nodded, climbed up Poppy's ladder, and started picking, just like that. He didn't yell at her or show disapproval of any kind.

But the day was still young.

Billy Idol sauntered into the orchard, stationed himself at the foot of Luke's ladder, and gazed up as if all the cat food sat at the top of the tree. Did Luke smell like catnip or something? Billy Idol placed his paw on the bottom rung, hesitated for a second, and climbed carefully up the ladder. Luke nearly fell as Billy Idol clawed his way up Luke's trousers and came to rest on the top of the ladder next to Luke's bucket.

“Go away, cat,” Luke said.

Billy Idol hissed and scowled and stayed put. Poppy grinned. She wouldn't mind if Billy Idol gave Luke a little trouble today.

Poppy chose a tree at the other end of the row. It wouldn't take her long. There was only so much she could reach before moving on. She could hear Luke and Lily having a conversation, with occasional help from Rose, but Poppy felt no obligation to join in. She had no interest in what Luke Bontrager had to say about anything.

It sounded as if Luke was grasping a branch and shaking it with all his might. What was he doing to their poor tree?

“You're going to break something,” Aunt B said. “Don't be so rough.”

“I want to be fast,” he said, but the violent rustling settled down a bit. “I can hear the bees from up here.”

Ten hives sat at the edge of the orchard, and they made a pleasant hum that could be heard from several feet away.

“They never rest,” Rose said.

“I like the pictures of flowers painted on the hives,” Luke said.

Aunt Bitsy climbed down from her ladder and moved it a few feet around the tree. “Rose painted all our hives.”

“They're beautiful.”

Poppy pursed her lips. She didn't care how agreeable Luke acted. It wouldn't last long.

“How are the kittens doing?” Lily asked.

Why did Lily have to bring up the kittens? Every tear Poppy had shed in the last decade was because of those kittens.

“Dorothy and Joann couldn't be better mothers. They feed them by hand and brush their fur and keep them in their room to sleep,” Luke said. “I hate cats, but my sisters have never been happier. Even Mamm tolerates them for my sisters' sake.”

“Luke?” Rose said, and even from four trees away, Poppy could hear the timidity in her voice. “Aren't you glad Poppy saved them?”

Poppy hadn't the least interest in Luke's answer, but she held her breath and stopped picking so she wouldn't miss it.

“Glad?” Luke said. “My sisters would have been devastated if those kittens had drowned. I'm more than glad. I thank
Gotte
every day for what Poppy did. I lashed out at Poppy when I should have thanked her.”

Poppy almost snorted out loud. Luke didn't mean any of what he said. He'd been furious. He blamed her for putting his sisters in danger. He surely hadn't changed his mind. He only said what he thought Lily and Rose wanted to hear.

She furrowed her brow. She'd never known Luke to be a liar. He always spoke his mind, even if what he said offended everybody.

“It's no excuse for how I treated Poppy,” Luke said, “but I get anxious when it comes to my little sisters and other girls. I even get concerned for Poppy, who can take care of herself in any ditch in Wisconsin.”

Lily climbed down from her ladder and poured her full bucket of cherries into the wooden box sitting in between the row of trees. “Maybe your
mamm
's accident made you overly cautious.”

Luke paused long enough that Poppy wondered if he'd even heard Lily's question. She squinted among the branches of his tree but couldn't see his face. “Maybe it did,” he finally said.

Even with a cat sitting on his ladder and getting in the way, Luke proved to be a lightning-fast cherry picker. He finished two trees before Rose or Lily had even finished one. Leaves tumbled from his trees as he picked, as if he were stripping the branches instead of merely plucking off cherries. It's how she would have expected Luke Bontrager to pick. He dove in headfirst with any job he did and worked with every ounce of energy he had until the job was done. It was how he'd tackled the chicken coop. It was how he cut watermelon. It was even how he ate pie and how he pestered her with such persistence.

It took three hours for Poppy to pick every cherry she could reach. She refused to say a word to Luke, even when he hovered seven feet above her head picking the tree she was working on. Sometimes he talked to Lily and Rose; sometimes he kept quiet. He even whistled occasionally. But he didn't seem to mind her silence. He didn't seem to mind anything about her, even though he'd found plenty to say on that subject in the past.

The first time she had needed to empty her bucket, she'd realized that she couldn't do it by herself. She hated to ask for help, especially because Luke gloated when she admitted weakness, but she couldn't dump the cherries into the box with one hand. She had asked Lily to help her, but Luke had practically vaulted from his ladder before the words were out of her mouth. There hadn't been a hint of smug superiority when he'd emptied her bucket, but Poppy couldn't be comfortable. Every smile he gave her was like a stab to the heart, and her chest felt heavy, as if she'd lost something that she'd never get back.

She hated that she needed the help, but at least he didn't gloat, not even when he helped her two more times.

Poppy set her full bucket next to a half-filled box of cherries and brushed her hand down the front of her apron. Before she even stood up straight, Luke was off his ladder pouring her cherries into the box. She made the mistake of looking at him, and his smile stole her senses. She didn't like it. That smile made her want to let down her guard, to give Luke her friendship again. But that would be very foolish indeed. Was it supper time yet?

She turned away from him. To protect herself, she had to be strong.

“Aunt B,” she said, pretending Luke wasn't standing three feet away from her, “I've picked everything I can reach.” Luke watched intently as she tucked a lock of hair beneath the scarf tied around her head. “If I just stood on the bottom rung of the ladder, I could get more.”

“You shouldn't be on a ladder,” Luke said, before clamping his mouth shut and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He lowered his gaze and didn't utter another word.

Poppy's argument died on her lips.

Aunt B tilted her head so Poppy could see it below the branches. “No ladders.” She stood up straight again so all Poppy could see were her feet. “We'll finish up. You can go clean toilets.”

Poppy expelled a puff of air. Too bad she didn't need two hands to clean a toilet. Luke was surely laughing at her. He'd probably never cleaned a toilet in his life. “Okay,” she said with little enthusiasm. The only
gute
part about cleaning toilets was that Luke wouldn't be around. His presence made her whole body hurt.