A Song For Us (Fallen Tuesday Book Two) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (4 page)

“Look at me, Luke,” Mack ordered.

Jake and Trent came into the room
now, each holding a guitar. “Everything good here?” Trent asked.

“I’m explaining something to Luke,”
Mack said. “We’re here for Gray, all of us. We can’t step in his way or keep
him from doing what he wants to do, what he needs to do, or what he feels he
needs to do. They’re all different. He may hurt himself. He may find some
answers. He may find nothing. No matter what, we’ll be there for him.”

“I know,” Luke said. “I know. This
is drugs though. If he sticks his nose in the wrong business…”

“Then we’ll have his back,” Mack
said. Mack lifted a thick fist and shook it. He curled his lip and looked like
a true badass.

Luke laughed. “Fair enough. Let’s
jam a little. Ease our nerves.”

“I’ll go get something to drink,”
Mack said.

Luke crashed to the couch and Jake
sat next to him. He quickly elbowed Luke and nodded.

“What’s up?” Luke asked.

“Gray’s going to get himself in
trouble, isn’t he?” Jake asked.

Luke nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“There’s nothing we can do to stop
him, is there?”

“No, there’s not. Mack is right; we
can just be here if and when he needs us.”

*

The saddest part of Carina’s life
was that the highlight of her day was going to the grocery store. She liked to
cook, even though her meals were for one. Walking along the aisles made her
feel like she had purpose. It also made her think of her grandmother. When she
first moved to Liering to help with her grandmother, the woman was able to go
to the grocery store. They would take their time and chat while getting
whatever they needed and wanted. There was no budget to care about. All Carina
cared about was making her grandmother feel good by keeping her distracted from
her aging body.

Then it changed.

It started with her grandmother not
wanting to go to the grocery store once. That first time Carina went alone, she
hurried through the aisles and made it back in record time. She actually
thought to herself then how much easier it was to just go alone.

Everything slowly got worse. Her
grandmother not being able to go to the grocery store was the tip of the
iceberg compared to how it all came to an end. Her grandmother wasn’t able to
feed herself, change herself, or read the paper and understand what she had
read or what even day it was.

The thoughts stayed with Carina as
she carried two handfuls of bags up the steps. It was easier to struggle than
to make a second trip. She didn’t need much in her life. It was just her.
Working at the club gave her access to the kitchen so she usually just grabbed
something there before coming home or before her shift started.

As she walked the steps, her arms
felt like rubber. Her fingers were aching to just let the bags go. She
struggled and when she got to one of the landings, she heard someone pounding
on a door. What could possibly be going on now in the damn building? It wasn’t
the worst building in the world to live in, but there was always something
going on. Couples - young and old - fighting. TV’s blasting. Parties. Fights. Carina
tried to avoid those problems, but someone still broke into her apartment.

Carina looked through the narrow
window of the common door to see what was happening. She hated being nosey, but
what did it matter? She had every right to know what was happening, especially
considering she was just one floor below hers.

What she saw was a man standing at
an apartment door pounding a fist on it. He backed up a step and put his hands
to his hips, shaking his head. Carina couldn’t look away. The man looked
familiar, but Carina couldn’t figure out why. He wore jeans and a long sleeved
shirt. He looked nothing like the junkies that normally hung around her
apartment building.

In fact, he was really good
looking.

From the side, Carina noted the
definition of his jaw and chin. There was a look of annoyance and defiance on
his face too. Carina knew better than to stand there and stare a stranger.
Especially in this building. When she took her eyes off the man she realized
what the problem was. There was a key sticking out of the doorknob. He tried to
turn it and when it didn’t turn he pounded on the door again.

Carina pushed the door open to the
hallway just as the angry man yelled, “Damn you!” Carina panicked for a second and
thought about backtracking and just going to her apartment. She didn’t belong
here. She didn’t belong in the middle of someone else’s business.

But it was too late now. The man
looked at her.

“Sorry for the language,” he said.
“I can’t get the damn door open.”

“Is that your apartment?” Carina
asked.

“I have the key,” the man said.
“It’s just stuck.” He slapped the door and let out a long sigh.

Carina’s arms were ready to fall
right off her body. She should have just taken her groceries home and minded her
own business.

“Look,” the man said, “this isn’t
my apartment. It’s my brother’s apartment. He’s in the hospital right now. I’m
trying to get in here to look around. To look for some answers.”

“I’m sorry I intruded then,” Carina
said. “I don’t know why I…”

The man looked at Carina. His eyes
were dark and deep. They were beautiful, sincere, strong, compassionate eyes. Carina
instantly wanting to trust the man, and help him.

“Do you live in the building?” he
asked.

Carina nodded.

“Maybe you could help me get in
then.”

(5)

Josh tried giving Gray an earful of
shit. He tried every excuse in the book to not give Gray the key to the
apartment. Lucky for Gray, Josh sounded either drunk or high. He spoke with
jitters in his voice and finally gave up his location. When Gray shouted that
he was on his way to get him, Josh began to scramble and said they’d meet at a
local café.

Gray felt like a television show
detective as he drove the streets, looking for a meet up place. His brother was
in the hospital. His mother was in denial. And here he was driving around for a
key to get into his brother’s apartment.

One thought kept coming to Gray…
when
you get in there, what are you going to do?

It was a thought Gray tried to
ignore. There was no answer. There would be none to find. Even still, Gray
parked his car in front of the café and looked at the buzzing neon sign. Inside,
the place was packed. People sat almost like shoulder to shoulder as they
sipped coffees, other beverages, and ate pastries. Gray didn’t expect to find
Josh waiting in the café so he scanned the outside of the building. He saw
someone standing near the corner, one leg up against the café. The person’s
head bobbed up and down to a song that wasn’t playing.

Gray got out of the car and
whistled. The head bobber looked and waved.

It was Josh for sure.

“Give me the key,” Gray said as he
approached.

“Hello to you too, dude,” Josh
said.

Gray grabbed Josh’s sweatshirt and
pushed him against the building. “Don’t call me
dude
.”

“Whoa, wait a second,” Josh said
and put his hands up. “If it weren’t for me, your brother would be dead right
now.”

Gray felt his hand sliding up,
ready to grab Josh by the throat. “He might be dead right now.”

“I thought he was in the hospital.”

“He is. He’s not awake though. Give
me the damn key.”

“What are you going to do in that
apartment? Trash it? Look for drugs?”

“Maybe I will,” Gray said.

“Anything you find will implicate
your brother.”

“So it’s your shit and you’re
hiding it at his place?”

“Our place,” Josh said.

“Your name on the lease?”

“With my record?” Josh asked with a
cocky grin.

He looked like a punk and Gray had
enough. His hand squeezed tighter around the top of Josh’s shirt. He pulled and
slammed Josh against the building. His head hit the brick wall of the café and
Josh winced.

“Damn,” Josh said. “You’ve got some
balls on you.”

“Shut up and give me the key,” Gray
said. “You’re not tough, Josh. You’re a junkie. A user. A punk.”

“Whatever. I didn’t do a thing to
your brother. Beat the hell out of me for all I care, that won’t change what he
did to himself.” Josh leaned in and let his nose touch Gray’s nose. “Remember
that… what he did to himself.”

Gray curled his lip and wanted
nothing more than to take Josh up on his offer and beat the hell out of him.
But Josh was right, even if he was a burned out loser. There was nothing to
gain by punching Josh. There was probably nothing to gain by searching the
apartment for drugs and anything else, but no matter what, Gray wasn’t going to
let it go.

“I’ll give one more chance, Josh,”
Gray said. “Give me to key.”

“Or what?”

Gray smiled. “Do you know who I
am?”

“Some hotshot in a band.”

“I’m not a hotshot. I’m a damn
rockstar. I can get away with anything I want.”

“Even beating up a guy like me?”

“You kidding me? I’ll call my
manager and tell him some crazy fan attacked me, so I had to defend myself. I
guarantee you’d be the one put in jail, not me. I bet you’re carrying right
now, aren’t you? Drugs. Cash. Maybe even a gun.”

“You’re not afraid of me?” Josh
asked. “Even if I had a gun?”

“Look at you. You’re burned out.
And you know what happened to Peter will happen to you. Just give me the damn
key and I’ll be on my way.”

Gray pushed at Josh and took a
couple steps back. He watched Josh reach into his pocket and he started to consider
the possibility that Josh may actually have the nerve to pull a gun on him.

Josh’s hand stayed in his pocket long
enough to actually force Gray start to formulate a plan to run if a gun was
produced. When Josh’s hand came out of his pocket, he had a set of keys.

“Take the apartment key off,” Gray
said.

“You know, there’s shit in there
that’s mine.”

“You can deal with Peter when he
wakes up,” Gray said.

Peter slid a key from the other
keys and held it out for Gray. Gray took the key and squeezed it tight in a
fist. He wasn’t going to let the key go.

“You know, this is bullshit,” Josh
said. “I’m getting treated like a criminal.”

“You are one,” Gray said. “Did you
hurt my brother? No. Did you cause him to overdose? No. Did you mess up his
life and lead him to addiction? No.”

“Thanks,” Josh said.

“I wasn’t done talking.” Gray put
his pointer finger to Josh’s chest and forced him back to the wall. “I know you
didn’t lead him down this path, but you knew he got out of rehab. You knew he
was trying to be clean. Yet, you were right there. You’re the one to find him
almost dead.”

“When he started drinking I warned
him,” Josh said.

“You two shouldn’t have been
talking.”

“Maybe. But again, he called me. He
wanted to hang out. He had a job with a lot of cash available. And he had a lot
of money… a lot. He paid for the apartment in advance for a year, in cash.”

“Cash?” Gray asked. “Where did he
get… was he selling?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Josh said.
“I doubt it. If he was, he did it all behind my back.”

“Where would he get cash from
then?”

“He worked at a fancy restaurant.
Lots of rich people. Maybe he had slippery hands.”

Gray grew angry again. He took his
finger from Josh and made a fist. He reminded himself again that punching Josh
would do nothing for the situation.

As a gesture of peace, Gray put his
hands in his pockets.

“Be honest,” Gray said, “what do
you think he was doing?”

“I don’t know,” Josh said. “Peter
was quiet and taken back this time around. Before, using was an escape for him.
He would become human when he used. This time, he became a shell of himself. It
was like he did it to hide or something. We didn’t party. We didn’t do
anything. He just sat around and looked distant. He looked…” Josh put his hands
up and grew nervous. “He looked dead. Okay? That’s how he looked to me. Dead.”

“Dead,” Gray whispered.

“Sorry. You want the truth? The day
it happened, I left to take care of some business. I called him and asked if he
wanted to party with my friends. He told me no. He said he was going to stay
home. It pissed me off so I hung up on him. I felt guilty and tried calling him
back. I knew he was slipping, okay? I tried my best. But who am I to save
someone when I can’t even save myself.”

“You didn’t think to go to our
mother?”

“I can’t imagine that going over
well.”

“But Peter in a hospital bed is a
better option.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Josh said.
“There’s nothing I can do right now. I know that. I’m just telling you what
happened. I went back to the apartment and I found him face down. He looked
dead, but he had a weak pulse. I called for an ambulance and when I heard it
coming I took off.”

Gray stretched his neck. He didn’t
want to picture it but how he could help it? All could he see in his mind now
was his little brother on the floor dying. He saw Josh leaving him, like the
idiot user he was. In Gray’s mind, Peter was still a ten year old kid. The ten
year old kid that used to break branches off trees and pretend they were swords
or guns. The ten year old kid that would go down to the creek and hunt for
frogs and snakes. That’s how Gray thought of Peter, because up until Peter
turned thirteen, he was innocent. But the innocence had been stripped away,
like with all people, and Peter took that first step down the wrong path while
his big brother, Gray, had headphones plugged into an amplifier, trying to make
loud music to chase his own thoughts away.

“I hope he survives,” Josh said. “I
really do. Peter’s a great guy. When he’s… normal.”

“With friends like you, he’ll never
be normal,” Gray said. “Thanks for the key.”

Gray turned and started to walk
when Josh called his name. Gray looked over his shoulder.

“What?”

“Just wanted to let you know that I
have your CD. Fallen Tuesday. It’s good, man. It’s really good. Glad you made
something of yourself.”

Gray could have said a dozen things
in response, but he left it at a simple head nod.

In the car driving, Gray’s head
spun worse than before. Digging for answers only seemed to produce more
questions. His mind kept going back to the fact that his little brother had a lot
of cash. It scared Gray because if Peter was dealing that meant he had a boss
somewhere, perhaps a boss that would get angry when Peter didn’t work anymore.
What if Peter was supposed to be selling and had cash that wasn’t delivered?
For all Gray knew, there could be people waiting for his little brother to wake
up so they could kill him.

At a red light, Gray finally had a
minute to let out his frustration. The steering wheel took a beating until the
light turned green again.

Pulling up the apartment building there
was nothing to really look at. There were obvious spots where it needed work.
All landscaping had been exchanged with rocks. Large rocks. Small white rocks.
The parking lot lines were faded. There were a few luxury model vehicles parked
all at one end of the parking lot. It made Gray nervous, why would someone with
the financial means to pay for an expensive car hang around an apartment
building like this.

Gray exited the car and took
caution. A lot of caution. He entered the building and went to Peter’s
apartment. He touched the door and dug in his pocket for the key. He slid the
key into the handle and turned.

It didn’t move.

He tried to turn it again.

It still didn't move.

The key was stuck.

Or it was the wrong key.

Gray let his head fall forward and
hit the door. He shut his eyes and gripped the handle.

“Come on,” Gray whispered. “Come
on…”

The handle didn’t budge. Gray had a
key and the damn door was still locked.

When Gray opened his eyes and
stepped back, he lost his cool. He began to kick and punch at the door. The
door wasn’t going to move. Gray knew that, but his anger was aimed at the door.
The weight of everything on his shoulders was becoming too much. Gray wanted to
get back in the car and just drive away. He’d just wanted to go back to his
life and get into the studio with Fallen Tuesday to record the next album so
they could get back on the road.

Gray attacked the door again. “Damn
you!”

Just then Gray saw a woman standing
halfway down the hallway. She had bags of groceries in her hands and she was
just staring at Gray. Her eyes threatened to steal his breath. He had no idea
eyes could be that green. So bright. So beautiful.

“Sorry for the language,” Gray
said. “I can’t get the damn door open.”

Stop saying damn, you moron.

“Is that your apartment?” the
beautiful woman asked. Her voice was soft and scared.

“I have the key,” Gray said. He
winced, feeling like a jerk for sounding like an ass. “It’s just stuck.”

Gray slapped a hand to the door and
sighed. He needed to calm down. Being angry was going to get him nowhere. The
door wasn’t going to open without the right key. The question now was whether
Josh meant to give the wrong key or not. He could have been high and confused.
Or he could have been setting Gray up.

Gray looked at the woman and could
see her arms getting tired from holding the bags.

“Look,” he said, “this isn’t my
apartment. It’s my brother’s apartment. He’s in the hospital right now. I’m
trying to get in here to look around. To look for some answers.”

“I’m sorry I intruded then,” the
woman said. “I don’t know why I…”

Gray stared at her. When their eyes
met again she stopped talking. He took a few breaths and tried his hardest not
to move his eyes from her eyes. He desperately wanted to check her out. He
wanted to scan her body. He wanted to get close to her. The frustration in his
blood could easily use a release… any kind of relief…

“Do you live in the building?” Gray
asked, trying to calm his mind.

She nodded.

“Maybe you could help me get in
then.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Gray stepped toward the woman. “Why
don’t you put those bags down? You look ready to drop them.”

“Oh, these,” she said. Her cheeks
turned red. “Yeah.”

Gray reached for a bag and gently
placed it on the ground. The woman crouched down and put the other bags down.
They were both crouched now, looking at each other.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” Gray
said. “I’m Gray.”

“Gray? That’s your name?”

Gray smiled. “It’s what people call
me. My name is Gary. There’s a story behind the name. Stupid. Had a package
sent to me and they spelled my name wrong on the label.”

Gray offered his hand. The woman
looked at it, then him. “I’m Carina.”

“Carina. That’s a really pretty
name.”

“Thanks.”

Carina took his hand and Gray
stood. When he hadn’t let her hand go after a few seconds, he cleared his throat
and turned to face the locked door to his brother’s apartment.

“I think I have the wrong key,”
Gray said. “To be honest.”

“Wrong key?” Carina asked.

“It’s a complicated situation,”
Gray said. “I had to get the key from my brother’s roommate. I think he gave me
the wrong key. Not sure if it was done on purpose. Not that you care about my
ramblings.”