A Song For Us (Fallen Tuesday Book Two) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (8 page)

When the man left the stage, Gray
looked at Carina. “I feel like I should apologize right now.”

“Apologize. Why?”

“I’m not being a good date right
now. I just watched that show instead of watching you.”

“I watched you watch the show,” Carina
said. “You really love it, don’t you?”

“Love what?”

“Music.”

Gray nodded. “Yes, I do. It’s not
about making money and being famous, you know? It’s about the music. It’s
always been about the music.”

“I can’t believe you’re famous,” Carina
said.

“Neither can I,” Gray laughed. “But
I guess I am. I get to live a dream. I play a guitar and people like it. Like
that guy up on stage.”

“You get paid for it though,” Carina
said.

“Yeah, I do. The money is nice,
sure. But it’s the music. The second it becomes anything but the music is the
second I walk away.”

“The rest of the band is in the
studio?”

Gray loved the way Carina’s eyes
lit up and shined when she talked about Fallen Tuesday. Gray sensed that it
wasn’t just about the
awe
of him being famous. It was about music. He
sensed it.

“They had to get back to record,”
Gray said. “We’ve been working on new material. Luke - our lead singer - had
something wrong with his throat. He’s been resting it and now he’s ready to
start singing again. It’s exciting. We’re all ready to get back in the studio
and get back on stage.”

“On stage,” Carina said. She looked
back at the stage and then to Gray. “Isn’t it scary?”

“Sure it is,” Gray said. “There are
a million things that could go wrong. And to be honest, there’s always
something that goes wrong for every show. But that’s how it works. The best
bands are the ones that can play through anything. It’s easier now because we
have fans. We have people who pay to see us and want to see us. We started out
on a stage just like the one behind you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Probably a smaller stage. We
probably had two people for our first show.”

“Now you have thousands,” Carina
said.

“The magic of rock n’ roll,” Gray
said.

The next band started to set up. It
looked like a woman and two men. Gray watched the look in Carina’s eyes as she
watched the trio set up their equipment. She had a look of hope in her eyes,
but her face had a slight frown. A regretful frown.

“What are you thinking about when
you look at that stage?” Gray asked.

“What?” Carina looked at Gray.

“The stage. The way you were just
looking at it. Does it you that you’re not up there?”

“Who said I want to be up there?” Carina
asked.

“Nobody. I’m just making an
observation.”

“I’ll tell you about that stage if
you tell me about your brother. But you go first.”

“You have to promise me one thing, Carina.”

“What’s that?”

Gray put his hand out, palm up,
resting it on the table. Carina looked at his hand but didn’t take it.

“I need you to promise you won’t
judge me from the actions of someone else.”

Carina nodded. “Okay. I can do
that.”

She placed her hand to Gray’s. He
smiled. His thumb caressed along the top of her hand, feeling her soft and
smooth skin.

“My brother is in the hospital
right now in a medically induced coma. He overdosed and almost died.”

Carina’s jaw dropped. “Where?”

“Right in his apartment. In your
building.”

“I always knew there were some bad
people there,” Carina said. “I mean, I’m not saying that your brother is bad.”

“No, it’s okay. He is bad. He’s
sick. He can’t help himself for some reason. I got him to go through rehab once
and he made it. Then, I was in the studio, on tour, the band was taking off.
Part of me wonders if I should have stepped down from the band to take care of
Peter more.”

“You couldn’t have done that,” Carina
said. “That wouldn’t have been fair to you.”

“I’m not exactly sure what fair
means these days,” Gray said. “When he got out of rehab he moved in with my
mother. She tries to be a good woman, a good person, but she has enough baggage
to fill a skyscraper. I thought with Peter under her roof, he would stay put and
work through everything he needed to work through. I guess he was trying. He
went through jobs left and right, but my mother said one started to work for
him. Then he started to disappear for nights at a time. He eventually moved out
and into the apartment. I heard he paid for the entire year in cash, which
scares me a lot.”

“You think he’s… making money off
drugs?”

“I don’t want to think anything at
this point,” Gray said. “I got a key to the apartment and I walked through but
didn’t find anything. Right now, I’m just waiting and hoping he wakes up and
he’s normal. So I can talk to him and help him.”

“You’re a good brother, Gray,” Carina
said. “I’m really sorry he’s going through this. That building is a bad place.
It seems to attract trouble.”

“Like Peter,” Gray said. “Our
father died when we were young. We were old enough to know what it meant but
not old enough to accept it. I turned to music to heal and he turned to
something else.”

Gray watched as Carina tightened
her grip on his hand. “I’m glad you turned where you did, if that means
anything. We wouldn’t be able to have this conversation.”

“Then I guess we should thank Peter
too,” Gray said. He shook his head and ran his free hand across his face. “I’m
just glad I got the key from his so-called roommate. At least there won’t be
anyone going in or out of the place.”

Carina rolled her eyes. “Don’t bet
your life on that one.”

“Why not? Did you see more people
in his place?”

“No, I don’t even know who your
brother is,” Carina said. “I’m just… my apartment was broken into once before.
That’s all.”

“Oh, Christ,” Gray said. “And you
still live there?”

“Maybe I have no choice,” Carina
said.

Gray reached across the table and
touched his pointer finger to her chin. “There’s always a choice, Carina.
Always. Now, tell me about the stage.”

*

“The stage,” Carina said. “Yeah.
The stage.”

“What do you play?” Gray asked.

His eyes were addictive and when he
half smiled, Carina wanted to spill her heart and soul to him.

“I play keyboard,” Carina said.
“Well, piano. You know what I mean.”

“You have a keyboard in your
apartment.”

“Yeah. Can’t really play that much
because of the neighbors. The guy under me hits the floor if I play. I swear he
stands there all day and waits for me to start so he can hit the floor.”

Gray smiled. “Headphones?”

“Don’t have any,” Carina said. “Not
having them gives me an excuse.”

“An excuse? For what? To not play?”

Carina nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you want to play?” 

“I just don’t,” Carina said. “I
don’t think I’m very good. I don’t think my songs are good.”

“Wait, you write your own music?”

Carina’s mouth ran dry. Her mind
became flustered, and all she could think was,
shit shit shit shit shit,
what did I just do?
She didn’t want to do this, not with Gray, not tonight.

“I write,” Carina said. “It’s just
for fun.”

“Yeah, that’s what we do,” Gray
said. “We write music for fun. People like it.”

“People don’t like my music.”

“Have people heard it?”

Carina didn’t answer. The silence
was the answer.

“Oh, Carina,” Gray said. “You
shouldn’t hide.”

“It’s hard with where I work,” Carina
said. “I see some seriously good bands on that stage. Solo acts. Actual bands.
My friend, Angie, she’s been on that stage.”

“You don’t think you compare?”

“I don’t know what I think,” Carina
said. “My life has been a little off track after caring for my grandmother.”

“Is that so?”

“She passed away,” Carina said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I came here to take care
of her. I couldn’t live with her so I did the best I could with the apartment I
could afford. She had nothing to leave behind, which is fine. I wasn’t caring
for her in the hopes of getting rich. Not at all. I cared for her because she
deserved it. I always thought that once she passed away, I would be able to
move forward with my life. It was this sense of freedom that waited for me that
kept me motivated. Now that the freedom is here, I’m frozen. I feel like that
person who gets their big break on stage and then stands there in front of
thousands of people and can’t remember the lyrics.”

“Maybe you just need someone to
give you a nudge,” Gray said.

Carina smiled. “Are you saying you
want to nudge me?”

The band on the small stage was
playing. The music was solid. It was quiet and they played basic chords, but
the focus was on the wide range of the woman’s voice.

“I’m saying you should take
advantage of the situation you have right now. Right in front of you.”

“Oh, so you’re going to play the
rockstar card now?”

“If it gets me more time with you, Carina,
then yes I am. I’m going to play the rockstar card until I hear you play. I
want to hear one of your songs.”

“This is crazy,” Carina said. “I’ve
never played a show in my life. I’m just some woman who can play piano. I’m not
a musician. I’m not like you.”

“You’re exactly like me,” Gray
said. “What do you think Fallen Tuesday did? It wasn’t that long ago we were
playing bars for ten people. We would have band practice in a garage and jam
out for hours to an audience of none. But it never stopped us.”

“I’m not looking to be rich and
famous,” Carina said.

“Then what do you want out of
life?”

“Isn’t that a loaded question for a
first date?”

Gray leaned toward Carina and
smiled again. “I’m a rockstar. I don’t believe in rules, Carina.”

The words shot through Carina like
fire. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so turned on. It had been a
long time since she’d been with a man, but it had been even longer since she
couldn’t keep her composure around someone. It wasn’t all about the rockstar attribute
either. The way Gray looked at her made Carina feel like he really cared and
wanted to be right there with her. He wasn’t just killing time or looking to
take someone home.

“Come back to my place then,” Carina
said. “Right now.”

“Are you demanding that?”

Carina slid from the booth and
stood. “Yes. I am.”

Carina turned. She licked her lips
and thought,
what am I about to do?

(9)

The car drove them to Carina’s
apartment. Carina got out first and Gray went to the driver’s window. He wasn’t
sure what to expect going inside with Carina so he told the driver to just hang
out for a little while. Gray had paid enough to ensure there would be a car and
driver at his disposal for the entire night and next morning.

He followed Carina into the
building and up the steps. At the landing to Carina’s apartment, Carina paused
and looked back to Gray. “We don’t have to do this here. Do you have a place?”

“I have a rented place,” Gray said.
“Your apartment is fine. I’m not afraid of this building.”

“If you say so then,” Carina said.

Gray grabbed the door and held it
for Carina. He watched her walk down the hallway, giving a few steps lead. He
let out a deep breath, amazed at the shape of Carina’s body. He reminded
himself that he was invited there to hear her play and that was it. Gray caught
up to Carina as she opened her apartment door. She had that flustered look on
her face again as the door slowly opened.

“What’s wrong?” Gray asked.

“Nothing,” Carina said. “I’m just
amazed that someone famous is going to be in my apartment.”

Gray put a hand to Carina’s hand on
the doorknob. “Please don’t think of me like that. I don’t want special
treatment.”

“Too late,” Carina said. “You’re
already getting special treatment.”

Carina smiled and they entered
apartment. Carina started to rush around the apartment to fix anything she
thought was out of place. Gray took it as a compliment.

“You know, you don’t have to clean
up because of me,” Gray joked.

“Sorry,” Carina said. “Do you want
something to drink?”

“Sure. I’ll have whatever you
have.”

Gray’s eyes widened when Carina
took out a bottle of vodka. She mixed two drinks and offered one to Gray.

“This I can handle,” Gray said.

“Sorry,” Carina said again.
“There’s no way I’m going in there without this.”

Carina pointed to the bedroom and
Gray smiled at her. She gasped and touched her lips.

“Oh, no, Gray. I didn’t mean it
like that. I meant… that’s where my keyboard is. I didn’t mean us… in there…”

Gray had to laugh. He didn’t mean
to fluster Carina and he didn’t mean to add to it by laughing, but he couldn’t
help it. Carina was beautiful. In her own worried and innocent way, she had
already started to touch Gray’s heart. It also didn’t hurt her case that she
was musically talented.

“Well,” Gray said, “shall we?”

He nodded to the bedroom and
winked.

“I hate myself right now,” Carina
said. “I really do.”

She walked to the bedroom door and
opened it. Gray slipped past Carina and had to smile to himself. Not in his
wildest dreams did he think coming to Liering that he would end up in a woman’s
bedroom. Sure, the implications were not about sex, but they were about music,
which is just as good as sex. Music.

Gray saw the keyboard and felt his
body tingle. When he looked at Carina, in her bedroom now, his body warmed up.
He drank his drink a little too fast, wanting the vodka to kick in to hopefully
calm him down a little.

“I told you it’s nothing,” Carina
said. “Just a simple keyboard.”

Gray walked to the keyboard. He sat
down and put his drink on the floor. He turned it on and looked back at Carina.
“Nothing is ever simple. It’s all about perception.”

Gray started to play the soft intro
to a Fallen Tuesday song. He watched Carina’s face. She knew the song. She knew
the band. It made Gray feel good about himself.

As Gray continued to play, Carina got
closer to him. He bobbed his head and he enjoyed the song. When he stopped, he
reached for his drink and stood up.

“See? Nothing simple. It’s a
keyboard. It’s meant for music.”

“That was beautiful,” Carina said.
“I didn’t realize you could…”

“Man of many talents,” Gray said.
“Why don’t you play something?”

Carina drank from her drink. “I
don’t know. I get so nervous.”

“I’ll leave the room then. Pretend
I’m not even here.”

He was so close to Carina. He
looked down at her as she looked up at him. The connection was there. Gray knew
it. He felt it. The look in Carina’s eyes suggested the same.

“No matter what you do, I’m going
to be nervous,” Carina said.

“No matter what?” Gray flirted.

His hand came forward and touched Carina’s
waist. It was a gentle touch, more friendly than anything else. Give Gray
another few seconds and he knew what he wanted to do. He resisted the urge and
moved away from Carina. Without a word, Gray stepped out of the bedroom and
closed the door halfway. He took a deep breath and wiped his hairline. He was
sweating. Carina made him nervous.

Gray waited patiently and when he
heard the sound of the keyboard, he smiled. Music started and stopped. Then it
started again and stopped again. After a few seconds pause, the music started again
and this time it didn’t stop. The song instantly connected with Gray. It was
slow and had that ballad feel to it. The music was beautiful. Carina wasn’t
just a woman messing around with a keyboard in her bedroom. She could play. She
could really play.

Gray touched the door. Thankfully,
the door didn’t make a sound as it opened. He snuck into the bedroom and stared
at the back of Carina as she played. He placed his drink on the nightstand next
to the bed. His eyes were intent on Carina, his ears focused on the music.

This was maybe one of the most
beautiful moments of Gray’s life. He’d never met a woman like Carina before.
With the sad song playing, Gray remembered everything he learned about Carina.
Moving into the dump of an apartment that was broken into. Caring for her
grandmother. Her grandmother passing. Having to work in a place where musicians
played all the time. That had to be torture.

It was all so much to handle.

Yet, through music, she could
release her emotions.

Gray took a step and then another.
He didn’t want to creep up on Carina and startle her, but he didn’t want her to
stop playing. It was too good to stop. He did want her to know he was there and
listening. That he enjoyed it. That he wished he had met Carina a long time
ago. She could write a song with Fallen Tuesday. She could get out there on her
own. She could play any stage.

Standing just a few inches away
from Carina, Gray wasn’t sure what to do next. He thought by now she would have
stopped playing. It seemed her doubts had slipped away.

Gray started to move a hand toward Carina
when a pounding sound came from right under his feet. Gray’s instinct was to
jump.

“Damn,” he said.

Carina turned and jumped, letting
out a cry.

“It’s just me,” Gray said. “I’m so
sorry, Carina.”

The pounding on the floor came
again and again.

Carina looked at Gray with her hand
to her chest.

“I guess that’s your neighbor,”
Gray said as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yeah,” Carina swallowed. “That’s
my neighbor.”

Gray started to laugh and Carina
did too a few seconds later. He put a hand out to help her stand. She didn’t
just stand, but she crashed into Gray. His arms were then around her, their
face inches away from each other.

The floor
popped
again and
Gray stomped his foot.

“You’re going to start a neighbor
war for me,” Carina said.

“I wish you could have kept
playing,” Gray said. “That was really amazing.”

“I don’t want to talk about music
right now.”

Gray hesitated. He knew what Carina
wanted, and he wanted to give it to her. He wanted to give her the world in
that moment, but he couldn’t. A simple kiss though…

Gray touched his lips to Carina’s.
Her lips were small, soft, and meant for tender kisses. When he pulled back Carina
went with him. She moved to her toes, not wanting the kiss to stop. The move
caught Gray off guard for a second. When he kissed her a second time, it was
with a little more passion. They both exhaled at the same time. They smiled
with their eyes open and Gray took a chance as he parted his lips. With the tip
of his tongue he sampled Carina’s lips. Carina welcomed Gray in, offering her tongue
back to him. The kiss continued, growing passionate by the second. When Gray
felt Carina press tighter against his body, he wanted her more. His hands were
tempted to explore her body. Carina touched Gray at his stomach. Gray thought
he felt her push at him, perhaps hinting to step back and fall down to the bed.
The thought of taking Carina to bed drove Gray wild.

Carina made her stance very clear
when she began to lift Gray’s shirt. His mouth couldn’t get away from hers.
When she touched his bare skin, Gray groaned. His hands touched her hips,
gripping her. He finally pulled from her mouth and stared at her for a few
seconds. Her lips were beautiful, red from kissing, eager for more. Her eyes
were intense, confessing to Gray it had been a while since someone had taken
care of her like this. Gray then gently caressed her throat and neck with the
tip of his nose, exhaling as he did so, forcing Carina to let out a moan. As
she moaned, her fingers curled, and her nails dug into Gray’s stomach. Her
hands slipped down and touched the top of his pants.

Yes,
Gray thought,
yes, Carina,
yes…

He kissed her neck. Using just his
lips he climbed up her neck to her ear. He whispered, “Tell me what you want
from me, Carina. Anything you want.”

Carina put her head back and
sighed. Her hands were tight around the top of Gray’s jeans. He was thick and
hard, pressing at Carina to show her what she had done to him. His hands found
comfort under Carina’s shirt, finding her warm and soft skin. His left hand
slid around to her lower back while his right hand cupped her breast over her
bra. He squeezed, trying to control his strength, but he was losing.

“Tell me,” Gray ordered Carina.
“Tell me anything.”

“Kiss me,” Carina said.
“Everywhere.”

Gray took his hands from Carina’s shirt,
ready to obey her needs. He stepped back and felt the bed behind him. He sat,
his hands at her hips, staring up at her. When Carina looked down, some of her
hair fell in front of her face. She looked gorgeous, almost erotic with the way
her eyes lit up and the slight curl to her lip. This was what she wanted, and
she would get it.

“I’ll take care of you,” Gray said.
“Don’t worry, baby.”

Gray lifted Carina’s shirt. He
placed his lips directly over her belly button and kissed. He felt Carina’s
stomach flutter with a shaky breath.

“It’s okay,” Gray said, letting his
breath spread across her stomach.

It really was okay. Gray had never
felt so okay with a woman in his life. He could spend hours like this with Carina,
maybe even days. He desired to touch every inch of her body, tease her with his
tongue, tempt her with his intentions, love her with his body, and please her
with everything he had to offer.

Gray kissed Carina’s stomach again
and again. He moved down, inch by inch, only to be stopped by her jeans. He
opened her pants by tugging on them, revealing a pair of black laced panties.
Gray could see through some of the small laced openings and it made him harder.
He started to feel uncomfortable, desperate to be inside Carina. With his
thumb, he ran along the top of Carina’s panties. He then allowed his thumb to
move into her panties. He pulled, teasing himself as he saw more and more flesh
appear. As he came forward to kiss Carina, he felt Carina gently touch his
shoulder. He thought for a second she was going to stop him, but instead, she
pulled at him. She wanted him there.

With a simple kiss, Gray made Carina
shudder. She bent her knees and gently thrust. It turned Gray on even more to
watch her like this. She was losing herself in the moment, Gray.

As Gray kissed again, his tongue tasted
Carina, knowing he was just seconds away from tearing her jeans and panties
down. Then suddenly there was a thud from under his feet came again. It startled
Gray and Carina stepped back.

The sound came two more times
before stopping. Gray looked at Carina. She looked at him and then down at her
unbuttoned jeans.

“I hate your neighbor,” Gray sighed.

Carina’s face burned red. “I hate
him too.”

She touched her jeans and as she
buttoned them, she bit her lip.

“I’m sorry, Gray.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I got caught up in this.
This moment.”

Gray touched the edge of the bed
and took a deep breath. He needed to calm himself for a second before standing.
There were personal issues that needed to relax a little first.

“Are you mad at me?”

Gray shook his head. “No. I would
never be mad at you for that, Carina. I understand. We just went out tonight.
It’s okay.”

“I’m sure you’re used to women just
giving it all up…”

“I’m not worried about that,” Gray
said. “I don’t care what other people do.”

Gray stood from the bed. He touched
her waist.

“If it means anything,” Carina
said, “you’re really good.”

“So are you,” Gray said. “Your
music set the tone for what just happened.”

“I knew you were there, watching
me.”

“And you didn’t panic.”

“But I did almost jump you. Force
you into bed.”

“Force me?” Gray asked with a
smile. “I don’t think you would have needed to force me to do a thing.”

Gray touched Carina’s hand and
interlocked his fingers to hers.

“Are you leaving soon?” she asked.
“I mean, from here. To be with your band.”

“Soon, yeah,” Gray said. “I need to
record. You’re more than welcome to join me. Take a day or two off and get out
of here. Come see where the music is recorded. Maybe it’ll give you that
nudge.”