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Authors: Angela Winters

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BOOK: Almost Doesn't Count
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“Don't get me started,” Sherise said.
“Isn't that the problem?” Billie asked, laughing. “He's not getting you started.”
Sherise's eyes turned slits as she glared at Billie. “Ha, ha. You're so funny. You know we're only having sex like once a week now.”
“That isn't bad for a lot of married couples,” Erica said as she read the message from Terrell telling her how he was looking forward to their dinner tomorrow night. “That's what I hear at least.”
“It's bad for us,” Sherise said. “And it's bad for anyone trying to have a baby. I'll be ovulating in a few days.”
“It's your anger,” Billie said. “You resent him for having to quit your job and it's keeping you from really committing to having this baby.”
While Sherise didn't doubt the underlying premise of Billie's words, she doubted a little resentment could prevent sperm from implanting an egg.
“I had to quit,” Sherise said. “I lost sight of my priorities. Jonah was gonna fuck up everything.”
“Erica made sure he's not a threat to any of us anymore,” Billie said. “You need to get over all that.”
“I feel like I have,” Sherise argued. “I really wanted to get pregnant when we started this. I wanted to make Justin happy.”
“But you're not happy,” Billie said.
Sherise shook her head. “I'm trying to be, but I'm just not into it. I feel like the world is passing me by and I'm sitting around waiting to get pregnant.”
“And taking care of Cady,” Billie reminded her.
Sherise smiled. “If it wasn't for her, I would shrivel up and die. But, it's not just me. Justin seems to have . . . given up. He's the one who wanted another baby so bad. Things are just off.”
“If you're not going to see a marriage counselor,” Billie said, “you need to at least see a fertility specialist. Isn't that what Justin wants?”
“It was what he wanted.” Sherise had been scared to death to go see a specialist. If they found out that Justin was shooting blanks, all hell would break loose. “He doesn't ask about it so much anymore.”
Billie was about to mention how that wasn't a good sign, but was distracted by Erica's laughter. Was this funny to her? She turned to her and noticed that Erica was no longer involved in their conversation. She was texting furiously with a smile on her face.
“Who are you texting?” Sherise asked angrily.
Erica pressed send before looking up. Both Billie and Sherise had an expectant look on their faces. Well, this was as good a time as any. Erica sighed, trying to relax before the expected onslaught.
“I have something to tell you both,” Erica said, zeroing in on Sherise. “And I don't want to hear shit from you.”
“You'll only hear the truth from us,” Billie said. “Whether you think it's shit or not is up to you.”
Sherise gasped. “You've got a new boyfriend?”
“Well . . .” Erica started.
“I knew it.” Sherise was getting excited. “That smile on your face. It's the kind of smile caused by a man.”
“Who is he?” Billie asked, excited.
“Don't get excited yet,” Erica said. “But Sherise is kind of right. I am seeing someone, but he's not new.”
Sherise felt a brick in her stomach as she threw her hands in the air. “Oh, for Christ's sake!”
The waiter suddenly returned with Erica's drink.
Billie took a second before realizing what she was saying. “Wait . . . what? You're . . . what? Terrell?”
Erica nodded nervously as she grabbed the drink and quickly thanked the waiter before taking a sip. She should have ordered something stronger.
The waiter started, “Can I get you ladies any—”
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Sherise asked.
“What a surprise,” Erica said. “Sherise is judgmental instead of supportive.”
“Wait!” Sherise called after the waiter, who had started walking away. “Shots. Bring shots.”
“Of what?” he asked. “How many?”
“Just make them strong and bring three,” she answered.
“I don't want a shot,” Billie said.
“Neither do I,” Erica added.
“They're all for me,” Sherise said. “As fast as you can, please.”
“Let's just stay calm,” Billie said to Sherise before turning to Erica. “Really, girl? I thought you were done with him?”
“I was never done with him,” Erica said. “I told you guys that I still loved him.”
“But you promised you would get over him,” Sherise said. “You promised to stay away.”
“That wasn't as easy to do as I thought,” Erica said. “Things have changed and he sort of . . . he slowly worked his way back into my heart.”
Erica was smiling as she spoke, but from the looks on Billie's and Sherise's face, she was alone in this. “Okay, listen. I was cautious, too, but he's really sorry. We spent a long time talking and working through our issues.”
“A long time?” Billie asked. “Why are we just now hearing this?”
“Why?” Sherise asked. “Because she knew we wouldn't approve. Why else would she keep it a secret?”
“I don't need your approval,” Erica said even though it wasn't true. What Billie and Sherise thought meant more than anything to her, but she wasn't going to back down. “I'm seeing him again and I just wanted to keep it between us until I knew it was what I wanted.”
“Erica,” Sherise whined. “You had a chance to trade up. You could have gone out with any of the guys I tried to set you up with. You could have gone out with anyone else. Why would you go back to this hood?”
“He's not a hood,” Erica snapped.
“No,” Sherise agreed. “You're right. He's bumped up to extortion, so what does that make him? A high-class hustler?”
“Shut up,” Erica said. “He made a mistake. He realizes that he could have ruined lives.”
“My life!” Sherise yelled.
“Hey.” Billie held up a hand to Sherise. “You calm down. You put yourself in a position to have your life ruined, so stop looking for scapegoats.”
“Exactly,” Erica chimed in.
“But you.” Billie turned to her. “What Terrell did was awful. Do you really think you can trust him?”
Erica wanted to say yes, completely, but she couldn't. “I'm not exactly there yet, but I'm getting there. He's trying so hard.”
“They all try,” Billie said.
“I love him,” Erica admitted hopelessly.
Billie's concerned frown softened into a smile. “I know you do, sweetheart.”
“You fucked him, didn't you?” Sherise asked, not trying to hide her disgust. “He put his little dick on you and you believe anything he says.”
“You're the only one who seems to have a problem falling for the wrong dick,” Erica said with a haughty roll of her head. “And his . . . is not little.”
Billie could see this was getting out of hand. “Let's try to focus, girls. Erica, no one would blame you if you were . . . you know . . . dickmatized. It happens to the best of us.”
“I'm not,” Erica said. “We haven't even had sex yet. We've only been on a few dates and maybe kissed once or twice. Who are you to judge me, Sherise?”
“I admit my mistakes,” Sherise lied, “but that doesn't change the fact that this is a mistake, your mistake. You had gotten rid of the trash, just to turn around and bring it back in. He'll find a way to fuck everything up again. It's what brothas like him do.
The waiter returned with three shots of Patrón.
“Well,” Erica said, “if you keep your panties on and stop fucking the wrong people, you won't have anything to worry about from this brotha.”
“Damn,” the waiter added.
All three ladies looked up at him. He composed himself and walked away.
“You aren't fooling anyone,” Sherise said. “You keep trying to bring up my mistakes to deflect from what you know is your own.”
This incensed Erica for some reason. She wanted to jump out of the chair and slap Sherise. “Just work on your own marriage and don't worry about my relationship with Terrell. I know what—”
Erica halted as a man approached their table. He was tall, dark, and handsome in a very traditional way. He was a professional, dressed in a navy blue suit and a white button-down shirt. He looked to be in his thirties, with a close, neat cut. He clearly had a goal in mind, and that goal was Billie. He didn't have eyes for anyone else.
“Sorry to interrupt.” His voice was compelling and deep. “My name is Robert. You are?”
“Billie,” she answered cautiously.
“Hi, Billie.” He flashed a million-watt smile. “I noticed you sitting over here and I was wondering if you would be interested in dancing with me.”
Sherise made a smacking sound with her lips. What kind of man asked a woman to dance this early in the club these days? “We were actually in the middle of a—”
“Sure.” Billie got up from her seat quickly, tossing her purse on Erica's lap. She looked at her. “I'm taking your advice.”
The truth was, she didn't want to be at that table anymore. When Sherise and Erica got into it, it was like a world war all over again, and she was always caught in the middle. She was tired of trying to be the peacemaker. They could work this one out themselves. She was gonna dance.
When she reached the dance floor, which was more crowded than she expected for so early on a Friday night, Billie tried as best she could to let loose. She wasn't particularly interested in Robert, but he was cute and seemed harmless. Besides, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Porter standing by the bar looking at her with unabashed jealousy. Icing on the cake.
 
It was only ten at night when Sherise slipped back into her Georgetown townhouse. Climbing the stairs, she knew that Justin would still be up. He would likely be working, but she wasn't really thinking about him. Instead of heading to the master bedroom at the far right of house, she went straight for the door in the middle of the hallway.
Quietly opening the door, she tiptoed over to Cady's crib. She looked down at her baby sleeping peacefully and a sense of calm and warmth crept through her. She reached down and ran her finger softly along Cady's cheek. She wanted to kiss that teeny little sweet mouth, but wouldn't dare wake her up. The little demon looked like an angel when she was sleeping.
Sherise felt so blessed to be able to look at the reason she was alive, the reason her life was worth anything. There it was, sleeping in Winnie the Pooh jammies. Without her career, Cady seemed to be the only thing that Sherise really understood and knew was real. She smiled, in her heart knowing that she was lucky. How many women would be deliriously happy to be stay-at-home moms with a husband earning six figures and a healthy beautiful baby?
So why wasn't she? Was it because she couldn't get pregnant again? She had wanted to wait at least a couple of years between babies, so she could focus on her career before taking another maternity leave. But being so jarred by the horrible mistake she'd made with Jonah made Sherise think differently. Making Justin happy was what mattered. Keeping her family together was what mattered. Having another baby, bringing another person into their wonderful family, had been her goal.
Now that goal was sort of becoming a nightmare. Every month when she got her period, she felt like a failure. Every month she realized she wasn't pregnant, she felt closer to Justin finding out that Cady wasn't his. What if she wasn't? Looking down at her now, Sherise believed she saw Justin's nose on the baby, but was she just convincing herself of that in order to believe she was his?
“How drunk are you?” Justin asked as soon as she entered the bedroom.
He was looking up at her from his side of the bed, his laptop on his lap as he leaned against two big pillows.
She smiled at him as she tossed her shoes to the side of the spacious room.
“Just enough,” she answered as she walked over to the bed. She leaned into him and he lifted his head up to kiss her.
He seemed happy and looked at her with affection for a few seconds more before returning his attention to his computer. Sherise looked down at him adoringly and reached out. She placed her delicate fingers under his chin, lifting his face to hers again.
“We should all go to Eastern Market in the morning,” she said. “Remember how we used to love that Saturday mornings? Buy some fruit, eat some pancakes, and look at the art. It would be nice . . .”
BOOK: Almost Doesn't Count
13.72Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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