Bad Company (19 page)

Kellan’s fists hit the mattress. “Nate.” The name burst out of him, a warning and a plea.

Heat everywhere, the friction and pressure in his ass filling him up until it had to get free.

Nate’s mouth rode him all the way through that explosion, and when he was empty and shoving Nate away, the sight of his come on Nate’s chin triggered another round of shocks to recoil up his spine.

“God. That’s fucking—holy shit. You can totally do whatever you want to me now.” Kellan spread out across the mattress, his bones turned to syrup from the pleasure still bouncing off his nerves.

Nate stretched out on his side, smiling down at him. “Better than morphine?”

“Better than my first blowjob. Totally.” The pit of his stomach tingled in a nervous way, but he said, “I can take your dick now, no problem.”

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not fucking you until you’re hard again. The next time you come, my dick’s going to be up your ass.”

The nervous tingle was now a big pit of want and fear. The dildo was nowhere near as thick as Nate’s cock, and Kellan was sure Nate wouldn’t be blowing him at the same time. But damn, that had felt good.

Nate rolled onto his back, and Kellan stared at his body. There was no doubt about it. The spot under the navel, the silky-looking hair dragging his eyes down, had become as interesting as the tease of cleavage from a low-cut blouse. No tease here, nothing cut off his view of Nate’s dick, nothing left to the imagination—except exactly how that was going to feel inside him.

Kellan let his gaze roll the rest of the way down. Heavy hairy thighs had him thinking about how hard Nate could ride him, what it would be like to have him turn that power loose. A glance back up at Nate’s face showed Kellan what he needed to see, Nate’s eyes gone soft and open, crinkled with his smile.

“How’re you doing?” Nate asked.

“I’m really, really good.”

“Good. Is there any pizza left?”

Kellan threw a pillow at him and sat up. “I’ll get the pizza, but if you drink any of that green-tea shit, I’m not kissing you.”

“Nothing about my tongue in your ass, but the green tea is a problem?”

Kellan thought about it for a second and then leaned over and kissed him. Nate tasted mostly like come, and as Kellan sank back with him onto the bed, he realized that the smell they made together was turning him on.

Nate rolled him underneath. “No pizza?”

“No pizza.”

Nate looked down, eyes happier than anytime Kellan had ever seen him. He reached up and ran his palm over the scruff on Nate’s jaw before tugging him down for a longer kiss.

Things went slowly this time. Nate went slowly. He teased and licked and rubbed, and each time Kellan managed to get his eyelids to stay up Nate was staring down, the look in his eyes full of amazement, like he’d never had a guy in his bed before.

“What?” Kellan had to ask when he saw it again.

Nate’s thick lashes dropped to hide his expression. “Nothing.” But his voice was almost a whisper. And after he kissed Kellan out of his mind again, that look of awe was back.

His body felt good down to his toes from all that attention, but Kellan was still soft when Nate took him into a hot wet mouth. His erection built slowly, spreading out in fiery circles from his hips and down his cock, electric pulses fluttering from his balls and even that spot inside his ass. He squeezed those inside muscles, wanting something in there to keep that pressure building.

The back of Nate’s throat rubbed velvet-slick and hot-tight on the head of Kellan’s dick, buzzing him there as Nate groaned and took him long and deep and fast.

“Fuck me. God. C’mon, Nate. Get in there. I want to feel it.”

Nate kept sucking while his fingers worked their way inside. It burned again, but Kellan didn’t care because he knew how good it was going to get.

A twist from Nate’s wrist and the stretch was hard enough to sting, but just as fast, Nate was pulling his fingers out.

Nate’s hands got busy between Kellan’s legs, and then he felt the brush of slick and cool latex against his thigh before it heated from Nate’s dick.

“You’re ready now, baby. You gonna let me in?” Nate breathed the words onto Kellan’s lips and followed them with a deep kiss, tongue stroking inside.

“Want me to roll over?”

“No, like this. So I can watch you and kiss you.”

With his arms under Kellan’s knees, Nate lifted Kellan’s legs almost to his shoulders while Kellan tried to make his body open up. There was something inside that needed this, more than just the way it felt good when Nate hit that spot in his ass, something that needed Nate touching him this way, looking at him like Kellan had something special only he could give him. He was wondering how many other guys had seen that look in Nate’s eyes when Nate started to push inside.

Holy shit, the real thing was a lot bigger than the plastic dick. The pressure eased and came back, and Kellan really wanted to skip this part. Fast forward to the good friction and the coming and skip having to wrap his brain around the fact that something really big was making him feel easy to hurt.

Nate pushed again, and there was definitely a dick in Kellan’s ass right now, and he wasn’t sure this had been a good idea. Nate kissed him and groaned, not bossy or dirty-talking now, only whispering things like
good
and
yes
and
please, baby
.

Nate shoved Kellan’s legs up farther, and Nate’s balls rocked against Kellan’s ass. Every single cell in Kellan’s body felt fucked, full, owned.

“That’s right, let me in all the way, Kell.”

Kellan lifted his legs higher, rested his heels on Nate’s back and dragged his head down for a kiss.

“Oh, yeah, you feel good.”

Kellan wouldn’t go that far, but it didn’t hurt, and being this close to Nate felt right.

Nate shifted and moved goddamned deeper, little movements, like he was trying to get Kellan’s muscles to stretch. He pulled out and then pushed back in, and the want-fear-need emptiness got bigger inside. So maybe gay guys were tougher than he was. Kellan was ready to give up on this gay sex thing, at least as far as ass-fucking went. Nate liked to fuck, and Kellan couldn’t seem to get the hang of being fucked. Maybe Nate would be happy with just blowjobs. Then Nate pulled all the way out and slammed back in.

Kellan grabbed Nate’s shoulders.

Nate looked down at him, and Kellan could put up with a lot more than a fat dick in his ass to get that look if it was all for him, clear brown eyes steady on his, smiling like Kellan was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Tell me you want it.”

“Yeah.”

“Say it, Kellan.”

“Fuck me.”

Nate grabbed Kellan’s hips and started long slow strokes that hit deep in Kellan’s guts, finding their way to that need until suddenly Kellan got why people did this.

“Fuck me, Nate. Feel so good in me. C’mon. Harder.” Not only because it felt good to have a cock working him there—which it did now, Nate’s cock rubbed that sweet spot with every thrust of his dick. But it felt good in Kellan’s chest too, filled in something that had been missing. Kellan knew Nate never looked at anyone else that way.

Nate kissed him, strokes shorter but harder friction, the pressure inside pumping out through Kellan’s cock.

Nate held him, stopped moving, and they both caught their breaths.

“Holy shit, why weren’t you ready for this the minute I moved in?” Kellan could hear the echo of his voice in the rush of blood in his ears, his fingertips, his dick and his ass.

“Because…”

“Don’t lie.”

“Things changed.” Nate slammed his dick in hard.

“What. Changed?” Kellan gasped the words out, but he wasn’t ready to give in.

Nate’s forehead pressed against Kellan’s. “You know what.” His thrusts were slow and steady, belly in close to rub on the crown of Kellan’s dick.

Kellan threw his head back, and Nate dropped kisses all over the stretched skin. “Tell me.”

“After.”

Kellan nodded. Nate was right. An
I love you
on the way to orgasm wasn’t something to put a lot of faith in, but Kellan still wanted it. Wanted to know that he wasn’t the only one who’d never felt closer to anyone in his life, that the stupid promise of smearing their cuts to make them blood brothers was nothing compared to sharing their bodies like this, to knowing that the person you wanted to share everything could share this with you too, this amazing feeling of having someone inside you.

Nate kissed him, hands stroking everywhere, Kellan’s hair, his face, his back as the pressure inside his body wound him up tighter.

“Jerk yourself off, baby.”

Nate lifted up enough to let Kellan slide his left hand between them, and it didn’t matter if he could barely make it work at this angle, the first two tugs on the too-tight skin were enough to get his balls climbing, temperature inside like a furnace.

Nate held his hips and thrust faster, their bodies coming together with a heavy slap of skin, barely audible over Nate’s grunts.

“I’m—”

But Nate was already nodding like he knew, like there was a way to tell that Kellan was coming with his best friend’s dick in his ass, and his entire soul was wrapped up in that explosion of pleasure.

“Oh Jesus, Kell. So fucking sweet.” Nate’s weight lifted and his fingers dug deep into Kellan’s thighs. Nate moved fast, friction overwhelming, but when Kellan opened his eyes, the sight of Nate losing it, body shaking and mouth slack, was worth the burn. If Nate had been a girl, Kellan would have proposed the second Nate made that final deep slam inside.

For now, Kellan only watched Nate as his always-rigid pose melted, spine curling in, shudders hitting him from shoulders to hips, body jerking helplessly, and that was the most beautiful thing Kellan had ever seen.

They breathed and watched each other for a minute, then Nate leaned down for a sloppy kiss. “Okay, Kell, it’s going to be uncomfortable when I pull out. Take a deep breath and let it out.”

Uncomfortable must have been some kind of understatement for fuck-that-hurts-hurry-up, but then Nate was kissing all over Kellan’s face, their sweat rolling together.

“You were so good. Fucking amazing,” Nate breathed against his skin. “God.”

Kellan stretched, enjoying every aching twinge in his muscles, even the funny not-quite soreness in his ass. “Yeah, I think that might have been worth at least four and a half million. But you still owe me five hundred grand.”

“Later.” Nate rolled in close, tangling one of his legs with Kellan’s.

“That reminds me. Tell me that thing you were going to say later.” Now would be a great time to hear that I love you, with his body still feeling sweet, Nate’s fingers and breath teasing Kellan’s hair.

“What?”

Nate couldn’t have forgotten.

“About what changed.”

“Yeah.” Nate shifted his weight off Kellan. “You had to know I wanted to do that from the first time I saw you again.”

“And?” Kellan prompted. It didn’t sound like they were getting close to that I love you he’d been thinking about.

“But what changed is you wanted it too.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Nate hadn’t expected Kellan to discover a sudden passion for silence post-fuck, but with the narrowing of Kellan’s green eyes, Nate wished the conversation had stayed on how awesome the sex had been. He leaned in to taste the sweat on Kellan’s neck. What had he done wrong?

Kellan’s jaw tightened. “That’s all you were going to say?”

Nate pushed Kellan’s hair off his sweaty face. “I thought it was kind of a big deal. Considering how you felt before.”

“So you’re saying it was just sex?”

“No. Definitely not that.” Nate’s hand slid along Kellan’s jaw. “It was about us. But neither of us was ready for this when you came to stay last month.”

That didn’t do much to mollify the sullen look on Kellan’s face, so Nate tried to kiss him out of it again, playing with his hair, breathing in the scent of their bodies together, the whole apartment full of the smell of their fuck. A little groan slipped out of his throat, and he cradled Kellan’s head, fingertips rubbing the tight spot behind his ears.

Since he would have gotten more response from kissing the pillow, Nate raised his head.

Kellan wormed out from underneath.

“Is your hand bothering you? I’ve got Tylenol.”

Kellan brushed a gentle finger at the cut under Nate’s eye. He barely felt any pain now as worry started to seep into his muscles, turning all the good relaxation into nervous tension. Nate had definitely screwed something up.

“What’s going on?”

“I need to tell you something. About when I was such an asshole to you back in school.”

“Kellan, I’m over it. Really.” Nate couldn’t seem to keep his hands out of Kellan’s hair, couldn’t stop kissing the uncharacteristically thin line of his lips.

Kellan didn’t pull away this time. “You don’t get over anything.” His laugh was dry. “But I still need to tell you this.”

“Okay.” The shimmery future Nate had managed to dream up in the past few seconds, a future where Kellan’s big laugh and smile filled a bigger apartment, where their bodies tangled in a bigger bed every night, popped like the fragile bubble it was.

But maybe it was still fixable. Maybe there was something Nate could do, offer to show Kellan how it could be.

“Don’t look like that. You didn’t do anything.” Kellan’s lips curved a little.

“You’re killing me here.”

“After you told me you thought you were gay—”

“You didn’t let me get it out.”

“I left for camp the next week, remember?”

“Yeah.” Summers were always so long until Kellan got back from camp that first week of August. Nate had kept a running tally of days in his head.

“I missed you a lot. I hadn’t wanted to hear that, and then it—you—it was all I could think about. I was wondering if you were, then maybe I was.”

Nate wished he knew what to say, what Hey Gray would say to Kellan if he’d written a letter.

“Why didn’t you write or something?”

“I couldn’t say it in my head. I wasn’t going to put it on a piece of paper. There was another kid in my cabin—”