Bearing Up In Wolf Rock (A BBW Bear Shifter Romance) (Wolf Rock Shifters) (7 page)

He turned to her then and for the first time that day, he smiled.
Kyla would have described the look on his face as somewhat lascivious.

“You really have no idea what’s on my mind
?”

“Hmm. This second I might have an idea,” said Kyla as she tugged at the flannel of the shirt, trying to cover herself. Maddox’s eyes had begun to explore her again.

“Well, some things are best kept secret,” he said. “You wouldn’t want to know half of what’s on my mind. Men are pigs at the best of times, but add another animal to the mix and, well…”

“I don’t get that impression about you though, Maddox.” Kyla was sincere now. “You’re not a sleaze
, even if you were just looking me up and down like I’m some pricey veal that you’re considering cooking up.”

“Thanks.
I think.”

“You’re not. You could probably have fucked that girl in the bar. She was young and pretty
, and a lot of men would have taken advantage of that. But you didn’t show any signs of wanting to go home with her. You also could have…”

He cocked his head at her now, and she laughed. It reminded her a little of a dog her parents had owned when she was a child.

“I could have…?”

“You’re really going to make me say it, are you? You probably could have gotten into my pants
if you’d wanted to. Not that I’m wearing any now.”

“And yet I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“There’s a lot on my mind, if it makes you feel any better—in case you’re thinking that the problem is that I don’t find you attractive.”

“To be honest, I don’t know what to think.”

Maddox went silent again for a moment.

“I have issues…with people,” he said slowly. “A fear of them, even.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but that sounds utterly bizarre,
coming out of a man your size.”

“Not a physical one. I know perfectly well that I could beat pretty well anyone in a fight, including your pack members.”

“So what are you talking about then?”

“Ever since I lost my sister I’ve been hesitant to get close to anyone, Kyla. So I just don’t. And that usually goes for sex as well as anything else that’s intimate. I don’t like loss. I learned that the hard way.”

Kyla felt a deep sadness for the giant of a man who sat next to her. She wanted to put an arm around him and rest his head on her shoulder, to comfort him and tell him that he wouldn’t lose her, for whatever that was worth.

“I understand, I think,” she said. “I’m often told that I’m confident, even though I’m shy to begin with. But the thing is, Maddox, I’m confident in myself. I’m not confident in other people. I don’t trust them.”

He studied her again, looking for answers in her features.

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure. When I was a child, I didn’t really have much in the way of friends. I was one of those unfortunate kids who got picked on and teased. I found that the way to deal with it was to grow a thick skin and to come back at the others with bigger ammunition, so if someone threw an insult my way, I’d lob one back that was ten times as painful. I got respect that way, but not love.

“Then I came into my wolf skin, learned to shift, however you want to put it. And I could escape from everyone. Eventually I had the pack, and they’re like built-in friends. I trust them with my life.”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

“But not with my heart.”

Maddox looked straight ahead, his eyes narrowing in the dark cave.

“I would tell you not to be like that, Kyla, and to open yourself up. But I’m damaged and it would be hypocritical of me. I’m the least open person in the world, and the least open to love. So all I can tell you is that I understand. It’s hard to offer yourself up to vulnerability. And here we are, so big and strong, and yet so fragile.”

“Tell me about your tattoos,” Kyla said, changing the subject abruptly and deliberately. She gave in to the urge to touch Maddox by allowing her index finger to outline the spiral markings on his left shoulder.

“These are traditional. The Maori, you probably know, tattoo their faces.
Really, it’s more a sort of chiseling of the skin than a tattoo; scars on flesh. It’s a rite of passage, a sign that you’ve proven yourself worthy. But not surprisingly, the parents of a kid in Montana didn’t want their son to show up to class with facial tattoos so I did the next best thing.”

“They’re striking,” said Kyla. Her finger continued to follow the pattern down his upper arm. She watched it, taking in how diminutive her digit seemed in comparison with his muscles. Maddox managed, somehow, to make her feel almost small and dainty, which was no mean feat.
And yet he didn’t make her feel insignificant.

Finally Kyla realized that she was behaving in a manner that was probably too familiar for their own good, and she pulled her hand away. He looked at his arm where she’d touched him, as though somehow he expected to see new markings.

“Teach me some Maori words,” she said, looking at his face in the flickering light. His dark eyes shone surprisingly bright against his bronze skin, an intelligence and wariness to him that Kyla recognized from years with shifters. There was a depth, an instinct, in changers that humans didn’t have; a readiness to leap up at the slightest cause for alarm.

“All right. I’m not exactly fluent, but I know a few. Let’s see…”

He looked pensive for a moment, then said, “Maunga. That’s where we are now. A mountain.”

“Mo
-anga,” repeated Kyla, her accent poor at best.

“Something like that,” laughed Maddox. “Awa is a river. The Maori are reverent of nature, protective of it. ‘Kai’ is a place where a particular food source is available in abundance.”

“Kai,” repeated Kyla. “That’s my nickname.” She wondered if Maddox saw her as an abundant food source, or at least as something he’d like to eat.

“
Waka—that’s one of my favourites—is a canoe.”

“I like that.
Waka.”

“And your alpha, Tristan, would be a
Rangatira, I think.” Maddox pronounced the ‘ang’ sound with a long a, putting little emphasis on the g, which made the word seem to slide out of his mouth.

“It’s a nice language. Buttery, even,” said Kyla.

“Yes, it is. I always liked my father’s accent.”

“I’ll bet.”

“You’re a beautiful woman, you know,” Maddox added unexpectedly. He looked her in the eye now. “I just thought I should say it so we’re clear. You’re beautiful and sexy. And that shirt suits you nicely.”

“Thank you.”
Kyla wasn’t sure what to make of the compliments, though she felt them acutely. For a moment she wondered if he might kiss her, but instead he stood up.

“I
t’s getting late,” he said. “I assume that you’re okay with spending the night before we head back?”

“Yeah, I think we should.”

“Okay, good.”

Maddox
walked over to his sleeping bag, which he unzipped and laid flat on the ground. “You can share this with me.”

“Tell me about your sister,”
said Kyla, not quite certain why she was asking.

“And here I thought we were about to go to sleep,” he replied, his back to her
as he crouched down. “Okay, my sister: my sister was a sweet girl who didn’t deserve to die so young.”

“What happened to her?”

Maddox stood, his broad, muscled back still facing Kyla. The she-wolf wondered suddenly if she’d overstepped her boundaries.

“She was murdered
.” Maddox turned now and looked Kyla in the eye.

“Oh my God. By whom?”

“A rancher. A neighbour.”

“Murdered by a neighbour
?” Kyla couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

“Ye
s. Unfortunately you heard me correctly.”

“I’m so sorry, Maddox.” Kyla felt now that she understood his fear of attachment.

“Thanks.”

She
wanted to know more but it seemed wrong to press the bear of a man who seemed now to be so fragile despite his enormity. Instead, she rose to her feet and walked over to him. He turned to her, sensing her form behind him.

She put a hand on his hot chest and felt him breathe deeply under her touch. He reached out and took her wrist, pulling her hand away from him
, as he’d done with the young woman in the pub but with more gentleness. Kyla stared into his eyes, refusing to allow him to reject her.

Maddox’s grip was firm and even a little rough as he held her arm out to the side. She knew that he was struggling internally, fighting his bear
’s protective instincts. She knew in this moment that he wanted her and was terrified at once, and with her free hand she reached out and touched him again, her palm flat over his heart.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she said.

Slowly, Maddox lowered her arm to her side and pinned it there.

“I know,” he said.

Kyla slid her other hand up and around his neck, and let her arm envelop him in a hug, pulling him in towards her body. Maddox gave in then and let both his arms ensnare her form, wrapping themselves full around her, encasing her in heat and flesh.

She wondered how long it had been since someone had hugged him.

Kyla felt the heat from M
addox radiate into her own body. She was normally a warm creature herself, but continued to be blown away by the intensity of his constant temperature.

She held him, allowing herself to think, to feel, to release her sympathy for his torment at losing a sister as he had,
and for his loneliness.

“I want him,” she thought. “But not like this.”

When they released one another, she took his hand and led him to the sleeping bag, where they laid down next to one another. Kyla tucked her head into his chest and allowed a finger to caress his arm again.

“You’re a funny girl,” he said, putting a hand on her waist.

“Am I?”

“In some ways, yeah. I mean, aside from the shifting into a giant wolf thing, even. You’re not
like other girls I know. You really are confident and shy at the same time.”

“Comes from being the odd one out when I was younger, I guess. I learned to like myself because the other kids mocked me for my weight, and then when I got older they were terrified of me because they knew I might rip their throats out.”

“Sweet revenge.”

“Sort of. But it makes for a lonely existence.
As I said, I have confidence in myself. But not so much in others.”

“I could tell you to. That you should trust people. But it would be wrong of me, when I don’t trust them myself,” he said.
“When did you first shift?”

“I w
as freakishly young. Twelve. Most wolves don’t do it until they’re eighteen or so.”

“I was young too. So were my siblings. We were all romping around as bears before we were ten.”

“Wow, that must have been…kind of cute, actually.”

“I think it was, yeah.”

Maddox went silent again and for a minute, Kyla thought he might have fallen asleep.

“Kyla,” he said.

“Mmmm?”

“If I’m going to be taken into custody tomorrow…”

“Mmm?”

She lifted her face now and looked at him. The lantern was still glowing faintly and she could see a glint in his eye as he smiled at her. Those dimples.

Maddox leaned in then, his hand, which was still resting on her form, sliding upwards from her waist. Again, Kyla thought he was going to kiss her, but he didn’t.

As his hand travelled up her body, he
gently pulled the shirt up, exposing her round white hip and her ass.

“Oh my God,” Maddox said as his eyes glanced down
at her curves. “You’re so gorgeous.”

He
pulled his hand away from the flannel and slid it gently between her white thighs. Kyla let out a gasp.

I
n an instant, she found herself pulling her legs apart, encouraging him to move upwards.

Maddox looked into her eyes again,
an intensity in his own, which searched and waited for her to tell him to stop. But she didn’t.

H
is long, thick fingers explored the milky flesh, teasing her with light caresses, edging agonizingly slowly upwards until at last they came to the soft mound between her legs.

“Oh, what hav
e we here?” he asked. “It seems…yes, it seems that the wolf has a pussy.”

Kyla felt a gush of wet come to
meet his hand, just as his middle finger slid lightly over her slit, taunting her further into a state of utter arousal.

“And a wet one, too,” he added. He let his fingertip linger for a moment on her clitoris, which made her moan softly, before plunging it inside her.