Authors: Kylie Adams
Beautiful Liars (22 page)
THE IT PARADE
BY
J
INX
W
IATT
J
INX
W
IATT
Â
Fill in the Blanks
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It was boldface names galore at the splashy opening for the hot new nightspot Sacred on Chelsea's club row. Certain NY haunts have a tough door. That's a given. Long lines, unbreakablevelvet ropes, immobile bouncers, you name it. But the door at Sacred is downright brutal. Ask anyone who put their ego on the line to brave entry. Those mirror-imageJapanese sisters were all dressed up with no place to go. And they were even accessorized by a megabucks publisher! To add insult to injury, the latest
Laugh Track
skit on the dim-bulb twins became the number one requested video on YouTube within hours of its posting.The goof on the girls is so popularthat there's already movie talk. Expect them to be skewered on the big screen soon. Any coincidence that the parody writer's BFF claims the Asian imports' billionaire boyfriendas an ex? You tell me, darlings.Sacred is oh-so-exclusive that you can't even buy your way in. The annual membership fee for the sanctified pass is $2500, and one is offered that by invitation only. After being refused the opportunity to join, that ubiquitous hip-hop mogul threatened to open his own rival club across the street. Could it be a battle of the bars? We'll see. One certified Sacred member who never made it to the opening was that heiress/cosmetics model/mommy to a juicy melon. The poor recent di-vorcéehad to evacuate her Tribeca apartment when her unit became infested with bedbugs. Yuck! She's taken up residence in a plush suite at the Chambers Hotel and has hired a small squadron of power attorneys to sue every resident in her building, the developer, the contractor, her real estate agent, the City of New York, and anyone else she can think of. Of course, the real story isn't who wasn't there but who was. That fabulousfoursome from TV's
buzziest
daytime chat show dripped honey like a quartet of queen bees. And why shouldn't they? Life is sweet, darlings. Everybody's favorite Black American Princess was toasting the completion of her first book, a memoiron her days as a teen model, struggling actress, and girlfriend to that psycho baseball star still awaitingtrial for that deadly hit and run. Rumor has it the big-dollar advance (high sixes, I'm told) cured all of this beauty's money woes. Helping her celebrate was her gorgeous blonde cohost, looking downright cozy with her new beau, that too yummy for words British actor she met on the show when he stopped by to promote his latest film. What a dating service! Proudly watching over the whole affair was the veteran newswoman of the group. She's fifty, still going strong, and late-life super-successhas inspired her to metamorphosefrom hellcat to pussycat. Don't believe it? The story is that she took pity on her down-on-his-luckformer boy toy and put in a word to get the unemployed bartendera job serving Sacred drinks. Too bad the creep got fired early into the night for showing off his tallywacker jewelry. The real kudos of the evening went to morning television'sfunniest gay sidekick. The Sacred concept was his brainchild and bankrolled by a trust fund raid and a business partnership with America's prince. These buddies (not the
Brokeback Mountain
kind, says a source who
knows
) are on a roll and planning a Sacred Miami, Sacred Los Angeles, and Sacred Cabo. Hopefully,the ambitious plans won't be derailed by the lawsuit just filed by the witty TV boy's former boyfriend, a con artist recently jailed for credit card fraud who claims the entire Sacred venture was his idea. Exes! Like cockroaches and Cher, they
never
seem to go away. Of course, the real tragedy is that television's most
buzz
-worthy jabber-jaw hour has gone from bitch-fest to love-fest.No catfights, no frigid silences in the makeup room, no complaints to the higher-ups about this one or that one. Just respect, friendship, and mutual admiration for all involved. Have you ever heard more depressingnews? I give this show one more year, darlings. It has no hope of stayingon the air with this kind of appallinglypolite behavior.
Laugh Track
skit on the dim-bulb twins became the number one requested video on YouTube within hours of its posting.The goof on the girls is so popularthat there's already movie talk. Expect them to be skewered on the big screen soon. Any coincidence that the parody writer's BFF claims the Asian imports' billionaire boyfriendas an ex? You tell me, darlings.Sacred is oh-so-exclusive that you can't even buy your way in. The annual membership fee for the sanctified pass is $2500, and one is offered that by invitation only. After being refused the opportunity to join, that ubiquitous hip-hop mogul threatened to open his own rival club across the street. Could it be a battle of the bars? We'll see. One certified Sacred member who never made it to the opening was that heiress/cosmetics model/mommy to a juicy melon. The poor recent di-vorcéehad to evacuate her Tribeca apartment when her unit became infested with bedbugs. Yuck! She's taken up residence in a plush suite at the Chambers Hotel and has hired a small squadron of power attorneys to sue every resident in her building, the developer, the contractor, her real estate agent, the City of New York, and anyone else she can think of. Of course, the real story isn't who wasn't there but who was. That fabulousfoursome from TV's
buzziest
daytime chat show dripped honey like a quartet of queen bees. And why shouldn't they? Life is sweet, darlings. Everybody's favorite Black American Princess was toasting the completion of her first book, a memoiron her days as a teen model, struggling actress, and girlfriend to that psycho baseball star still awaitingtrial for that deadly hit and run. Rumor has it the big-dollar advance (high sixes, I'm told) cured all of this beauty's money woes. Helping her celebrate was her gorgeous blonde cohost, looking downright cozy with her new beau, that too yummy for words British actor she met on the show when he stopped by to promote his latest film. What a dating service! Proudly watching over the whole affair was the veteran newswoman of the group. She's fifty, still going strong, and late-life super-successhas inspired her to metamorphosefrom hellcat to pussycat. Don't believe it? The story is that she took pity on her down-on-his-luckformer boy toy and put in a word to get the unemployed bartendera job serving Sacred drinks. Too bad the creep got fired early into the night for showing off his tallywacker jewelry. The real kudos of the evening went to morning television'sfunniest gay sidekick. The Sacred concept was his brainchild and bankrolled by a trust fund raid and a business partnership with America's prince. These buddies (not the
Brokeback Mountain
kind, says a source who
knows
) are on a roll and planning a Sacred Miami, Sacred Los Angeles, and Sacred Cabo. Hopefully,the ambitious plans won't be derailed by the lawsuit just filed by the witty TV boy's former boyfriend, a con artist recently jailed for credit card fraud who claims the entire Sacred venture was his idea. Exes! Like cockroaches and Cher, they
never
seem to go away. Of course, the real tragedy is that television's most
buzz
-worthy jabber-jaw hour has gone from bitch-fest to love-fest.No catfights, no frigid silences in the makeup room, no complaints to the higher-ups about this one or that one. Just respect, friendship, and mutual admiration for all involved. Have you ever heard more depressingnews? I give this show one more year, darlings. It has no hope of stayingon the air with this kind of appallinglypolite behavior.
29
Sutton
Once again, the German techno-inspired theme music commenced,followed by the announcer's booming voice.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you have officially entered
The Beehive
! Please welcome your hosts and winners of the 2008 Daytime Emmy Award for Best Talk Show Hosts ... Sutton Lancaster ... Emma Ronson ... Simone Williams ... and Finn Robards!”
The Beehive
! Please welcome your hosts and winners of the 2008 Daytime Emmy Award for Best Talk Show Hosts ... Sutton Lancaster ... Emma Ronson ... Simone Williams ... and Finn Robards!”
Explosive applause and uproarious cheers greeted Sutton Lancaster as she emerged first from backstage, followed by Emma, Finn, and Simone.
She walked with pride, triumph, and renewed purpose. All those years of bottom-feeding at the local affiliates, of languishingin the middle ranks of network news. It was all worth it. For this.
Sutton assumed her perch at the center of the black BeeBoardtable as her cohosts settled in around her. “
Daytime Emmy Award winner
,” she intoned sweetly. “You know, I still like the sound of that.”
Daytime Emmy Award winner
,” she intoned sweetly. “You know, I still like the sound of that.”
The crowd erupted with another thunderous ovation.
“Me, too,” Finn enthused. “Announcer, please say it one more time.”
The booming voice did the honors again.
“I should just have him record that and put it on my iPod,” Finn remarked.
“We can't live on past glories, guys,” Emma said easily. “Rememberâwe're only as good as our next show.”
“But even if that one sucks, we're still Daytime Emmy Award winners,” Simone put in. She raised a hand, unleashed a street-worthy, “Holla!” and accepted the high-fives of all of her laughter-collapsing cohosts.
“It's Monday,” Sutton announced. “We just got the award Friday night, so we might be gloating a tiny bit.”
“No, we're just being informative,” Finn said. “Gloating is having this same conversation six weeks from now, which I'm sure that we will be.”
“Now I have to say this,” Sutton continued. “I'm sort of the den mother here. I'm a woman of a certain age.”
“Fifty is the new forty!” Finn blurted.
“Thank you, dear,” Sutton murmured. “But I've been knocking around this business for three decades. I've lived in countless cities, worked for dozens of affiliates, done a tour of duty on every network and cable news channel. I've seen talentand colleagues come, go, rise, and fall.” Her eyes misted with tears. “But I've never had any better experience than what I've enjoyed on
The Beehive
here with all of you. I mean that from the bottom of my ratings-focused heart.”
The Beehive
here with all of you. I mean that from the bottom of my ratings-focused heart.”
“The bitch is back,” Finn sang.
There was an extended group hug. And then the show went on ...
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kylie Adams
is the author of ten previous novels,
Fly Me to the Moon
,
Baby, Baby
,
Ex-Girlfriends
,
First Kiss: The Bridesmaid Chronicles
,
Cruel Summer: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book One
,
Bling Addiction: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book Two
,
Beautiful Disaster: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book Three
, and the
USA Today
bestsellers
The Only Thing Better Than Chocolate
(with Janet Dailey and Sandra Steffen),
Santa Baby
(with Lisa Jackson, Elaine Coffman, and Lisa Plumley), and
The Night Before Christmas
(with Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy, Jill Shalvis, Kathy Love, and Katherine Garbera).
is the author of ten previous novels,
Fly Me to the Moon
,
Baby, Baby
,
Ex-Girlfriends
,
First Kiss: The Bridesmaid Chronicles
,
Cruel Summer: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book One
,
Bling Addiction: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book Two
,
Beautiful Disaster: Fast Girls, Hot Boys Book Three
, and the
USA Today
bestsellers
The Only Thing Better Than Chocolate
(with Janet Dailey and Sandra Steffen),
Santa Baby
(with Lisa Jackson, Elaine Coffman, and Lisa Plumley), and
The Night Before Christmas
(with Lori Foster, Erin McCarthy, Jill Shalvis, Kathy Love, and Katherine Garbera).
Â
Visit Kylie online at
www.readkylie.com
.
www.readkylie.com
.
All characters in this publication are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Â
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Â
Kensington Publishing Corp.
850 Third Avenue
New York, NY 10022
850 Third Avenue
New York, NY 10022
Â
Copyright © 2008 by Jon Salem
Â
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Â
If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
Â
Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-0-7582-8559-1
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