Becoming Lady Lockwood (16 page)

Amelia laughed and then quickly stopped, wincing and holding her side.

“Are you quite all right? Shall I send for the doctor?” Sidney placed a hand upon her shoulder.

“It is a good reminder to contain my merriment within ladylike bounds.”

“Then we shall all be sorry to be denied the sound of your laughter. I have found myself quite dependent upon it and may suffer from withdrawal.” Sidney placed his hand upon his heart dramatically.

William cleared his throat. “And are we to have a conference, Mr. Fletcher, or should I return in an hour when you are finished making a fool of yourself?”

Sidney winked at Amelia and walked to the table where William waited.

“Would you prefer if I left you alone, Captain?” Amelia asked.

“No. I would prefer for you to remain where I can keep an eye on you and assure myself that you are not sabotaging any Frenchmen or pointing pistols at guards.” William spoke gruffly, but his eyebrow raised the tiniest of ticks, and Amelia’s heart warmed, relieved.

She settled back in the window bench and watched the waves as William and Sidney discussed the status of the ship. The conclusions of their conference were thus: Sidney would captain the French ship, returning to London alongside the
Venture
; the reward for delivering a captured ship would be divided up among the men. With the other ship’s supplies and sails, they should be in London by the next day.

An unpleasant rolling feeling began in Amelia’s stomach when she thought of leaving the ship and setting foot in a strange city where the only person she knew was her father. She thought of how much she would miss this vessel and its crew. They had become like family to her. And to think that she had feared them when she had arrived, thinking they were nothing but savage sea dogs. And how she had misjudged their captain. He was nothing like the horrible, beastly man she had judged him to be upon their first acquaintance. She had never known anyone as thoughtful or seen a man care about his crew the way William did.

Amelia stood. Any more musing and she would certainly drive herself to tears. “I think I shall take a walk about the decks,” she said when she saw that William and Sidney had also stood and were looking at her.

After bundling up in her coat, shawl, and blanket and declining an offer of company, she made her way out onto the quarterdeck and then down the gangway to the main deck. It had taken a large amount of energy to walk as far as she had, so she found a crate to sit on, shivering in the cold.

As she watched the crew reattaching sails to the yards and repairing the wood of the gunwale, Riley came to sit next to her.

“Just think, Riley. Tomorrow you will be sitting at your mother’s table with your little sisters, eating potatoes and beef covered in gravy.”

“It’s true, Miss Amelia. And it will be good to be home.”

“I shall miss your company.”

“And I will miss yours too. It’s been nice to have you aboard the ship.”

They sat quietly for a few moments before Riley excused himself to return to his duties. Just as Amelia began to wonder how she would ever be able to climb the steps of the gangway to return to the captain’s cabin, William found her and, supporting her with his arm around her waist, assisted her back to the cabin. He seemed to have an uncanny ability of knowing when she needed him. Her gratefulness was tinged with sorrow as she realized they would be in London tomorrow, and the idea of losing William’s constant presence was so painful that she did not let herself form the thought fully.

Amelia spent the remainder of
the afternoon repacking her dresses and other clothing and resting in the captain’s sitting room. William tended to matters on deck and listened to reports concerning the state of the ship. They ate a quiet supper together, though it was not an uncomfortable sort of quiet. When it became too dark to watch out the window any longer, Amelia moved to sit upon the sofa. William continued writing letters and recording in the ledger.

She thought about how contented she felt spending a quiet day with William but, as usual, pushed the thoughts from her mind. It would not do to dwell on things that could not be.

William came to sit on the chair next to her. “You are looking fatigued, Amelia. Perhaps you should retire.”

“I am very tired. But I confess I am quite afraid to sleep. When I dream . . .”

William lifted his hand as if to touch her face but apparently thought better of it and instead rubbed his thumb over his bottom lip. “I shall remain here in the sitting room tonight. Will that help?”

She nodded. Her throat was suddenly scratchy. It was becoming more apparent that her affection for the captain was very much one-sided. It would be better once she did not see him every day. Her heart would have a chance to heal. The sooner she left this ship—and William—the better she would be.

Amelia spent a restless night in the captain’s berth. She was freezing, and when she finally drifted to sleep, her dreams quickly turned into ghastly nightmares that jerked her awake and left her terrified and covered in sweat. At one point during the night, once again waking with a start, she immediately heard a knock upon the door.

“Amelia?”

“I am all right, Captain. There is no need to worry.” She fought against the tremors that shook her body.

“I heard your cries. Do you need—Shall I enter?”

“No. Thank you, William. I am sorry I woke you.” She heard him move away from the door, and she spent the remainder of the night tossing in the berth, not permitting herself to sleep.

The sun finally began to shine through the window. She rose and dressed as warmly as possible then left the room, intending to see if she could catch a glimpse of England.

Amelia found that despite her lack of sleep, she felt her energy returning. Fortunately, her injury did not hurt quite as much as it had the day before. But it had still been a struggle to dress and arrange her hair. She did manage without help, though, and that was reassuring in itself.

As she left the cabin, she was met by Corporal Thorne, who stood next to the door inside the sitting room.

“Captain Drake was called onto the deck and asked me to stay close if you should need, miss,” he reported.

Amelia thought this was the longest sentence she had ever heard from the man. “Thank you.”

“I am glad to see you are well, Miss Becket.”

“Likewise, Corporal.”

She ate a biscuit with some marmalade that she had found upon the sideboard table. Stepping out onto the deck, Amelia felt the fluttering returning to her stomach. The ship was sailing through a large harbor that narrowed to meet the mouth of a wide river.

Various ships surrounded the
Venture
, and Amelia looked on, fascinated at the different vessels and their inhabitants. While they were yet in the harbor, she spotted the French ship, with Sidney upon the upper deck. Captain Drake was speaking to the signal lieutenant, who used colored flags upon the mast to signal to the other ship, which raised its colored flags in return.

The HMS
Venture
joined a crowd of ships, large and small, that sailed in and out of the largest port in the world. Amelia walked down the gangway and watched from the main deck as they traveled up the wide River Thames and neared what was unmistakably the city of London.

The boatswain called out to the men, “Reef the sails!” and sailors climbed the riggings, untying the sails and rolling them up to bind them to the yards. The order was called to lower the anchor, and Amelia immediately felt the vessel’s momentum halt.

When the French ship was close, cables and grappling hooks were used to connect the two vessels, and Sidney gave the order for the crew of his ship to board the
Venture
.

As she looked up the river at the noisy city covered with a layer of haze, any excitement she had previously felt upon embarking on her adventure was replaced by uncertain dread. The
Venture
had come to feel like home. It was a small community unto itself, one in which she did not have to worry about her father, the jointure settlement, or the strict rules of polite society. She had been welcomed by the crew, and they had never looked down upon her when she had not arranged her hair properly or not worn her gloves upon the deck. She felt as though she shared a bond with her shipmates that could never be replicated. They had fought for her, protected her. She had held their hands, whispering words of reassurance as they wept and bled. Together they had watched friends die and had buried them in the ocean. Few people would understand the relationship between shipmates, and for Amelia, once she stepped upon the shore, this world would no longer be hers. Her throat began to constrict, and she blinked away the pesky tears that had formed in her eyes so often of late.

Her mind returned to William. This brotherhood had been his life, and he too would leave it behind in London. The captain loved his ship. He loved his men, and now he was off to be an earl far away on a lonely estate. Amelia’s heart was heavy as she thought of how he must be hurting.

As she turned away from the deck to compose herself, she spotted a small craft heading toward the ship. A group of marines pulled on the oars, and an admiral stood in full uniform: a blue frock coat with gold-trimmed lapels, the gold-ornamented epaulettes of an admiral, a white waistcoat, and a bicorn hat. For a moment, Amelia held her breath, wondering if her father had come to meet her, but as the boat drew closer, she didn’t recognize the man. She was not surprised, but it did sting a little.

The admiral’s boat was attached to the boat pulls, and the sailors heaved on the pulleys until the admiral and his guard of marines swung onto the davits and were piped aboard by the boatswain’s whistle.

William met the admiral, and he, Sidney, and the other lieutenants went to the captain’s quarters.

Judging by the ship’s bell, over half an hour had passed when Riley found Amelia on the deck and summoned her to meet with the admiral and the captain.

When she entered the room, the men stood. William introduced her to Admiral John Griffin. The admiral was probably near the age of Amelia’s father. His hair was gray and his face wrinkled from a life spent on the decks.

“It is a pleasure, sir.” Amelia curtsied.

“The pleasure is all mine, Miss Becket. And upon hearing Captain Drake’s report, I should like to extend my deepest gratitude for your actions in securing this ship. From what he has told me, none of these officers would be alive now if not for your bravery.”

Amelia felt her cheeks redden. “Captain Drake is too kind, Admiral. Each member of the crew was a vital part to the success of the voyage. I did not do anything that one of my shipmates would not have done in my place.”

The admiral tipped his head, scrutinizing her. “And do you consider yourself a member of the crew, then, miss?”

“Yes, sir.”

“His Majesty’s navy would be fortunate to have more sailors like you, Miss Becket. It has indeed been my pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He turned back to William. “And now, I believe we should continue this report and discuss . . . the other matter ashore in conference with the Lords of the Admiralty. With Miss Becket’s permission, I shall see her safely to her father’s home, and then I shall meet with you, Captain Drake and Lieutenant Fletcher, in the admiralty chambers at three this afternoon. Perhaps, Miss Becket, we can have a cabin boy accompany us to your father’s home?”

Amelia nodded at the admiral after glancing at William to see if he would insist upon accompanying her himself, and her stomach dipped uncomfortably when he did not.

“I should like to address my crew first, sir,” William said.

The admiral nodded. “Of course.”

Amelia accompanied the lieutenants to the main deck, leaning upon the railing as she walked down the gangway. She did not think she would be able to climb the stairs many more times today.

At the captain’s command, the boatswain blew his shrill whistle and called, “All hands on deck!”

Amelia moved to stand next to Riley and waited until the hammering of feet upon the companionway had stopped. The main deck was filled, and as she looked around, her heart was warmed when she saw the faces of many people she now considered friends.

Captain Drake, Admiral Griffin, and First Lieutenant Fletcher stood on the quarterdeck. The shrill of the boatswain’s whistle quieted the men, and William stepped to the rail, looking down at his crew.

He swallowed thickly before he spoke. “I have had the very great honor of captaining the
Venture
for the past three years.” His voice carried over the sound of the waves crashing against the hull and over the muted noises from the other ships around them. “In that time, I have found myself surrounded by the best of men in the worst of times. War has a way of proving a man’s character. Cowards show their true colors when threatened, and brave men perform in astounding ways. This crew has proven itself time and again to be the best in His Majesty’s navy, and I would challenge any man that claimed otherwise.”

William stopped talking, his eyes sweeping over the men on the deck. “Before I disembark, I have some commendations to present. Admiral Griffin has delivered appointments for Mr. Gifford and Mr. Hill. You are hereby promoted to the office of lieutenant, effective immediately. Mr. Hobbs, you are promoted to gunner.”

The midshipmen patted their shipmates on the back and congratulated them for successfully passing their examinations.

The captain’s voice rang out once more. “And there is one more commendation that I wish to confer. Miss Becket, would you please join me upon the quarterdeck?”

Sidney stepped quickly down the gangway, and Amelia took his arm, leaning on him as she ascended the steps. When they reached the upper deck, he led her to where the captain waited. Amelia’s legs began to tremble, and she wondered whether to attribute it to her injury or to the feel of nearly fifteen hundred eyes upon her.

William spoke again. “Miss Becket joined this ship as a passenger, but as you all know, she has proven herself as loyal and brave as any member of this crew. Each of us owes our lives and our freedom to her ingenuity and courage. I should like to present Miss Becket with a midshipman’s patch. It is well earned.” Captain Drake handed Amelia the white patch, with its golden button and loop of rope that the midshipmen wore upon their collars.

She took it from him and studied it for a moment before pressing it to her heart and looking up to see William’s face.

He nodded once, his demeanor remaining solemn, but she saw the corners of his mouth pull very slightly.

“Thank you, Captain,” she said, feeling heat spread through her chest.

The crew cheered, causing the tears that had begun to burn in Amelia’s eyes to threaten to spill over. Taking Sidney’s arm again, she returned to the main deck, where she was bombarded with well-wishes and smiles.

The boatswain piped for silence once again. William stood quietly for a moment before speaking. “Before I step down, my last action as captain is to confer the ship to First Lieutenant Sidney Fletcher, hereafter to be known as Captain Fletcher.” William cleared his throat and swallowed before he continued. “A more suitable man for this command you shall not find, and I could not leave the
Venture
in better hands. It has been my pleasure to serve with each of you.” William turned to shake Sidney’s hand and then Admiral Griffin’s.

The entire crew erupted into applause and cheers, and Amelia, ladylike or not, joined them. Sidney pressed his finger and thumb into the corners of his eyes, swallowing hard, and followed William as he climbed onto the davit and swung into a dinghy with a crew of marines. They were lowered and rowed away without a glance behind, leaving Amelia feeling very much deserted.

Leaning on Riley, she made her way to the captain’s quarters. She hurried into the cabin, not allowing herself to look around and wax sentimental. If she could just leave the ship, she would no longer feel so sorrowful. She quickly donned her bonnet and gloves, wrapped her blanket around her, and slipped the midshipman’s patch into the ribbon with William’s letter and Tobias’s embroidery. She checked to make sure that the pouch for Anna was still packed away safely then closed her trunk and joined Riley on the quarterdeck, where they waited next to the davits for the boat that would take her to London and to her father. Admiral Griffin joined them before long, having finished touring the ship and assessing the extent of the damages.

The boat was lowered, and the marines rowed toward the docks. The dirty river was bordered on either side by more buildings than Amelia had seen in her entire life, the buildings so close together that they were nearly on top of each other. Although it was midday, the smoke in the air filtered the sunlight eerily, as if it were twilight.

When she stepped onto the docks, she was hit by a wave of noise and confusion. People yelled and pushed. Carriages moved through the crowds. Children ran between and beneath the masses. And the smell: smoke, horses, humanity. Everything around her moved too fast. It was overwhelming, and she was glad she had Admiral Griffin’s arm to hold on to.

Just as Amelia took Admiral Griffin’s hand and settled into his waiting carriage, she heard a voice calling the admiral’s name. Turning, she saw a young girl with a large white box tied with a blue ribbon, running toward the trio.

Admiral Griffin stopped in front of the girl and spoke to her for a moment before taking the box from her; then reaching into his pocket, he handed the girl a coin.

She curtsied and disappeared back into the crowd.