Behind Her Smile (23 page)

It’s not until then that I realize how easily he evacuated his chair and came at me.

Was David ever tied up at all?

E
ver since I had the panic attack at the dinner party, David hardly speaks to me. At home, he avoids spending any time together. The truce we built once we found out about the pregnancy has collapsed. Even discovering that we were having a boy didn’t pull David from his mulish disdain. While I carefully navigate eggshells in our house, a lingering fear won’t quiet. I wonder if David remembers finding Alec and me in his office because he hasn’t spoken of it. Not once. But the rumblings are everywhere I look. A volcanic eruption is brewing, I am certain of it. Now that my pregnancy is out in the open, David’s even more doting than usual in public. As soon as we are alone, he’s back to a closed off shell of himself.

Now that we know we’re having a baby boy, making baby clothes has become my near full-time job. Working with fabric is the only outlet that consumes my uneasiness. I am at my sewing machine fashioning baby jogger pants when I hear my name roared from downstairs.

With one hand protectively shielding my emerging baby bump, I shut off the machine and make my way downstairs. At the landing, David is nowhere to be seen.

“Yes, David?”

“In my office. Now,” he barks.

Darkness bathes most of the house. A few lights illuminate the hallways past the kitchen and toward the back of the house. It’s late. The house is long empty. Miranda and Carlo are off doing whatever it is they do in their free time.

The moment I see David, dread washes over me. The Ferragamo tie he knotted at his neck this morning is long lost. The pristine midnight blue suit jacket lies on the sofa at the wall opposite of his desk. He’s pushed his shirts sleeves to his elbows. An ugly scowl twists his handsome features. Halting in the doorway of his office, I wait for an invitation to enter the room. Except for that time Alec dragged me into this room, I have not entered without David’s permission.

Alec.
My heart stutters. I have been circling the same thoughts over and over. Torment consumes me. Alec was right about me. I am nothing but desperate for affection from David. I have only myself to blame for my daily misery. A prisoner in the jail cell I created when I accepted David’s marriage proposal. If only I were brave enough to leave my husband. If only, if only . . . I am too afraid of losing the financial resources to support my child to leave my husband. I’m disgustingly weak.

“With all the drama you caused, I forgot one detail of that evening.”

Of course, I know exactly to which evening he refers. I bow my head shamefully and wait for him to continue. There’s no point in arguing with him.

“Come closer, Karolina.” Dutifully, I step into the room until I am on the opposite side of his desk.

“At first, I asked myself what Alec Christos could possibly want with a woman as low brow as you. And then I realized he wanted a piece of your skinny ass. My God, can’t you keep your legs closed? You are a married woman.”

Slowly, I lift my head. “No, David. I wasn’t having an affair with Alec.” Not technically, anyway.

David sneers in my direction. “Who do you think pays your cell phone bill, Karolina? All the calls from an unlisted number can only be from one person. Alec Christos doesn’t give his cell phone number to anyone.”

I draw my lower lip between my teeth and shake my head. What made me think I could outsmart David? He’s everywhere. He knows everything.

Fighting back a tremor in my voice, I face him when I respond. “It’s true that Alec and I developed a friendship. Nothing happened, David. We just talked about inconsequential stuff. I told him about the dresses I design.”

“Let’s say that I believe that bullshit. If he wasn’t trying to fuck you, then explain to me why were you speaking to him behind closed doors. Was he spreading lies about my business?” There’s a tiny dip in David’s seething, a rare display of vulnerability.

“No!” I cry. Then a flash of the evening’s conversations reappears in my memory. Alec said something about David running his family business into the ground. What did he mean by that? I haven’t heard anything about Morgan Financial having problems. My brow furrows as I try to recall any other clues. “It was—he wanted . . .”

“Enough!” David roars. He slams flat palms on the top of his desk making me jump in surprise. All of a sudden, he’s on his feet, stalking around the side of his desk. “You will not make a fool of me, Karolina. You are my wife, and you will do as I say. Do you understand me?” His hands lock around my upper arms, bruising fingers imprinting my skin.

“Yes,” I whimper.

“No more phone calls. First thing in the morning, you’re going to haul your ass over to the store and get yourself a new number. You will not look at, speak to, or breathe near Alec Christos.”

A sardonic laugh bubbles in my chest. David has nothing to worry about there. Alec wants nothing to do me. Not that I blame him.

David releases me abruptly, and I fall a step backward. “Get out of my sight,” he hisses.

I whirl around, ready to make my escape. David growls at my retreat. I know that sound. Anger destroys the small piece of humanity that still resides in him. A shock of fear bolts through me. Before everything gets jumbled, all I can think of is I have is to protect my baby.

I’m too late.

Flat palms slam into my shoulder blades. And then I’m flying forward. Falling, falling, finally until my belly slams into the corner of the glass coffee table. The last thing I remember is howling in pain.

No!

Everything goes black.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Except the regulated mechanic noise, the room is quiet. I am alone. Completely alone. Nothing growing inside of me as a reminder of the remaining beauty in this world. Don’t ask me how I know before anyone tells me, but I feel it. Or, really, I feel the absence of him. Ever since the positive pregnancy test, there was a weight, physical or not, that I carried inside in my heart. It was the lifeblood of my baby.

The weight is gone.

I want to wail at the injustice, but really, there’s no one to hold accountable for this devastation except myself. What have I done to my baby? The vulnerable, helpless baby boy is gone thanks to my stupidity.

Lavish floral displays sit on every available inch of counter space and window ledge. The bright color does little to cheer me. In fact, the lush display of life diminishes my energy. I may be awake, but I am asleep. All emotions frozen. I search myself for sorrow or devastation. This situation calls for utter despair. Intellectually, I understand the depth of this loss. Emotionally, there’s nothing but coldness.

Dead inside.

The door to the room opens and a weary-looking David enters. “You’re awake,” he says calmly when he notices my open eyes.

Fidgeting with the remote next to the bed, I move to a seated position. David presses a button next to the bed, probably signaling for a nurse.

“Yes.” I sound as I feel inside. Hollow. Nothing left of me.

“The baby—”

“I know,” I interrupt.

David’s frown deepens. “You know what?”

“He’s gone.”

David doesn’t flinch. Maybe he’s as dead as I am. That would explain a lot.

“Why did you disobey me, Karolina?” he asks sharply. “If it hadn’t been for your stupidity, this never would have happened. You defy me at every turn.”

Normally, that type of spiteful wrath would send me into a tailspin of self-doubt and loathing.

Nothing happens. I stay silent.

A nurse bustles into the room wearing bright purple scrubs. “Hello, Mrs. Morgan. How are you feeling?”

“Empty,” I whisper knowing full and well that she and David can hear me. I don’t care what they think. The nurse frowns sympathetically. I don’t want her sympathy or her pity. I want my baby. I want to be a better woman, a stronger woman who is brave enough to stand on her own.

“Let’s check your vitals. The doctor will be in shortly.” The nurse begins poking and prodding my body while David watches on with a face full of angst. Or maybe he truly is upset. I clearly never had the ability to recognize his emotions. How could I possibly start now?

When the doctor arrives, I answer her questions mechanically. I let David play the doting husband, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. David tenderly kisses my temple as if he actually loves me. What a crock. I find out that I did not lose the ability to have children in the future—only this baby boy. As if that’s some sort of consolation.

I need my baby. I need my boy.

At the sound of the door closing behind the medical staff, I collapse against the rigid mattress and shut my eyes. “When can I leave?”

“Tomorrow,” David says gruffly.

“I want to sleep.”

If I could, I would place all the blame on David for this. But the fault is on me. I could have left him. I should have left. I stayed even though I knew about his monstrous behavior. The baby boy was mine to protect, and I acted selfishly, so stupidly. I’ll never forgive myself.

Why should I?

C
ox reaches David first. He clamps a meaty paw on David’s shoulder and forces him to halt the excessive pacing.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he barks.

David laughs hysterically. A manic energy lights his eyes. “Fuck the pretense. I want to tell her.”

The Latino shakes his head, muttering Spanish expletives under his breath. “We went through all these games for you just to tell the bitch your plan?”

Plan?

“Come on, Karolina
.
Don’t look so surprised.” David rubs his hands together in gleeful anticipation. My stomach clenches in abject terror. He grabs the chair where he previously sat and places it directly across from me. David himself folds into the seat and crosses one leg casually over the other.

“Since this is really Karolina’s last stand, it seems only fair that she know the whole truth.”

“David . . .” I whisper hoarsely.

“Should have kept the baby, Karolina, then it would have been much harder to get rid of you.” A full-body shudder rocks through me. The way he discusses our son is so disturbing that it causes my body to vibrate with tension. “Then again, all the blame shouldn’t be put on you. It started with my father and his shitty company. How he managed to keep that dump afloat for so long is beyond me. Five years into it and this thing is about to implode.”

“What are you talking about?” I remember Alec’s scathing words again. On the night we kissed—the only time we kissed—he said something about David running his business into the ground. And that first time I met the other members of the Morgan family, Chandler alluded to David’s fumbling business sense. All the times David came home in a black mood, refusing to discuss work, flash through my memory.

“Even before my father’s untimely demise, clients started leaving the business. Now that he is gone, no one wants to invest with Morgan Financial. No matter how many asses I kissed, new investors dwindled to almost nothing. Another way that you failed me, Karolina. Spending all that money to keep in shape, go to the A-list events, and clothe yourself in the finest fashions did absolutely nothing to revive my business. It’s no surprise all the money that made you a kept woman is gone.” With a smarmy twist of his lips, David casts a look back to The Latino and Cox, who flank him on either side, a few paces behind his seat. Like minions. It sickens me to realize it took me so long to realize that David had orchestrated this entire charade. I knew he was abusive and manipulative all along, but my God, he wants to get rid of me. A permanent solution to this marriage. “Well, any of the assets you know about are near zero.”

“I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you,” I snap.

“Oh, really? Then tell me about that four-carat rock I put on your finger. Tell me about the thousands I spent on your wardrobe, the private trainer, the new model Mercedes each year.”

“
You
demanded all of that. Appearances are of the utmost importance. You wouldn’t let me open my own car door!” I’m shouting now—panic mixing with a simmering rage. “You think I want this? You think I want to be with you? I don’t. God, I loathe you, David. I loathe the person I’ve become as your wife. Let me out of here. You’ll never see or hear from me again. I’ll leave the state. I’ll change my name. Disappear from your life, from Miami society. All of it!”