Bloods Gem (10 page)

My body started to
tingle, like that feeling was coming back. I wanted him to
kiss me but he seemed lost in thought.

Impatient, I straddled
myself over him and pressed my lips to his. Surprised, he flinched
at my sudden attack. I kissed him harder, grabbing the back of his
head with my hand.

He responded willingly,
his body responding to mine, but moments later he began tensing up.
He grabbed my arms to restrain me. “We need to stop,” he
said.

I was taken back because
that was usually my line. “I know this isn’t how you’d want your
first time. In a cramped up truck and all.”

He was trying to find an
excuse. I looked at him and started to kiss him again. “I want you
right now,” I said.

My body had caught fire
and I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m ready,” I whispered. I thought
he was going to cave in, as he pressed his body closer to mine.
After awhile of intense making out, he slowed his pace.

“I’m not,” He
mumbled.

Shocked, I lay back
against his steering wheel looking at him, wondering why he
wouldn’t take me. He put his hands around my waist lifting me off
him, and sat me back on the seat. “I want to wait for you,” he
said, eyes cast downward.

I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder.
“I was ready,” I whispered.

He glanced at me, “Not yet…” Turning the key
in the ignition, we headed home.

Dropping me off, Chris drove away quickly. I
could hear Mom snoring as I entered my room. I climbed into bed
curling up in my blanket and dreamed about the man again. We lay on
a hardwood floor in a bright room surrounded by books. Starring at
each other, our hands touched. A feeling of love consumed me. He
kissed my lips and said, “I love you.”

Waking to the real world, my heart caved in,
the separation unbearable. I ran to the bathroom and got sick.

An overwhelming sense of loss consumed me. I
couldn't shake it off. I returned to bed, unable to function.

Chris kept calling. I couldn't force myself
to answer. Looking at the screen I saw there were eight missed
calls. I ignored them and decided to take a nap. Waking up hours
later, I checked my phone. I decided to reply with a text message
since Chris harassed me all day. Replying to one of the messages, I
told him I thought it would be best to set a date for us to be
intimate. He agreed and finally left me alone.

I cooked Mom dinner that night. After, we
ate and sat down and watched a movie. I was thinking of asking her
opinion about Chris and my confusion.

Deep in thought mom glanced over and asked
if I was okay. I looked at her and figured this time was a better
than any.

“
Mom, I need to talk to you about
something”

She paused the movie and positioned her body
towards mine. “Okay honey…”

Hesitating for a moment, I plunged forward.
“I like Chris a lot mom, but he’s already telling me he loves me. I
don’t think I feel the same way. I know I want him around all the
time and I like kissing him, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to
feel.” She smiled. “Faith, when your in love with someone you just
know it. You feel like you can't live without that person, and
there’s no questioning it”

“
So, if I’m not in love with
someone”
I hated saying these words to
her.
“Should I not have sex with them even though I
want to?”

“
I can't tell you who to sleep with
Faith but I can tell you it’s better when you're in love with that
person. If you feel like your ready to make that commitment then do
it. But don’t rush it, you have plenty of time for all that. You're
still young.”

I nodded, “Thanks Mom.” She smiled and
cupped her hand over mine. Later, I went to my room to do homework
I needed to finish before I went back to school the next day.
Afterward, I decided to call him and tell him my decision.

“
Faith,” he answered.

“
Yeah, I’m here,” I said. “So my
decision… is for valentines day. Maybe we can go somewhere
nice.”

Silently he breathed deeply into the
phone.

“
Is that okay?” I asked.

“
Perfect,” he said.

I had about eight months to prepare. We
talked on the phone until I could keep my eyes open no longer. We
said goodbye and hung up.

A month came and went and It seemed as if
one day ran into another. I was in a fugue. The dreams came more
frequently, and despite knowing it was unhealthy, I wanted to
remain there with my dream man.

After a dream if I saw Chris, and we were
alone, I would throw myself at him. He continued to remind me about
the day we had planned, and it was getting more difficult for him
to refuse me.

Poor Chris. I felt guilty, toying with his
emotions. Apart of me knew something was wrong. As if this dream
had triggered some crazy part of my primitive mind and overwhelmed
that rational being I knew I was. I knew the dreams were beginning
to cause problems in my real life. But still, i didn't want Him to
disappear.

At school the next day, we all sat outside
to eat. Chris made fun of Drew about the date he had with his
cousin Jasmine. He told him Jasmine has a foot fetish and he better
make sure his feet are nicely cleaned before picking her up.
Everyone laughed about it.

Unsmiling and distant Kate seemed
distracted. I sat next to her, “Are you okay?” I asked.

“
Mike was supposed to go with me to
London next week but he canceled. Said his dad needs him for a job
or something.” I patted her on the back trying to make her feel
better.

She glanced over at me smiling like she was
going to jump up and shout something.

“
Faith please go with me. I have this
extra ticket and I still want to go. Please,” she
begged.

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to go
but I had school and my mom and…. Chris. I shook my head, “Uh I
don’t know if that’s a good idea right now,” I said.

“
Come on Faith, this will be a huge
favor. Really. I don’t want to go alone.”

“
I don't know.” I said
hesitatingly.

“
If you could come with me I'll pay
for everything. We’ll have fun.”

I have always wanted to go to Europe, and it
did sound exciting. “Okay, I'll go but on one condition,” I
said.

“
Yes?!”

“
You will help me do all my homework
when we get back.”

She jumped up and hugged me tightly.

“
Okay don’t break me,” I
mumbled.

Chris glanced over, curious.

Kate ran over to him, jumping up and down.
He put his arms out looking at me shaking his head. “Did I miss
something?” he asked over her excited chatter.

“
Faith just agreed to go to London
with me next week!”

He visibly paled. “Ohh”

“
Oh come on. You can live without her
for three days. We will be back before you know it!”

After Kate had left Chris came and sat down
next to me.

“
So, your really going?” He asked
sadly.

“
Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

He nodded. “True. You're right. Why wouldn’t
you?” He said sarcastically.

“
What’s that supposed to mean?” I
belched back. “I’m sorry… I’m just jealous is all. Three days alone
with you, what I‘d give to be in her shoes right now. Go have fun.
You deserve it.” He said, forcing a smile. I pulled his face to
mine and kissed him softly. “Thank you,” I said.

“
Just don’t fall in love and run off
with some English guy,” he smirked. I pinched his thigh as hard as
I could, making him yelp.

Mom was excited for me when she heard about
the trip. She began packing my things, until I told her I had
another week. At dinner we sat in the living room and played
scrabble between bites.

My phone began ringing from the other room.
I ran to get it hoping it was Kate, so I could ask her about what
kind of clothes to pack.

“
Hello,” I answered.

“
Hey babe,” It was Chris.

“
Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“
Well, I was wondering if you would go
to dinner with me tomorrow night. I'll take you to your favorite
restaurant.”

“
Sure,” I replied. I heard a sound
outside of my window. Walking over I looked through my
blinds.

There he was talking on his cell phone.

“
What are you doing out there perv?” I
asked.

He laughed. I went to the window and opened
it.

“
My moms awake,” I said.

“
I know, I just wanted to surprise
you.”

I climbed out and we sat outside and talked
for awhile. He expressed his concerns about me going to London
without a chaperone. I explained to him that when we arrived we
would be staying with Kate's sister. The subject was dropped after
easing his concerns.

Chris took me to my favorite restaurant,
Shogun. He was acting more anxious then usual, he pulled a black
box from his jacket pocket. He Smiled, “This is a promise ring, I
want you to wear it to symbolize our commitment to each other. I
will always be faithful to only you” He placed the ring on my
finger.

I didn't know how to respond. I was
surprised. “Thank you, its beautiful,” I said.

“
Also I wanted to tell you something
Faith.”

“
What is it?” I asked
curious.

“
I'm also a virgin. I was raised to
wait until I found someone I loved and respected before being
intimate. I found that someone.”

“
Really?”

Chris took my hand into his. “Yes. I'm
excited to see what the future holds for us. I love you” He
said.

I squeezed his hand, “I love you too.”

That was the first time telling him I loved
him. The timing was perfect. I knew Chris would make me happy and I
was excited about the prospect of a future with him. But, I also
realized I now had to get rid of my dream man forever.

Faith

It was time to go and I was ready. I would
be a little sad leaving my mom and Chris behind but it was only
three days. We were going to stay with Kate's sister and her
roommate. I kissed Mom goodbye and hugged her tight.

“
I love you,” I told her. She kissed
my head and pushed me towards Chris’s truck.

“
Go have fun” she said.

Chris wanted to take us to the airport.
Anything to get more time with me. We drove in silence. I knew it
would be harder to say goodbye to him as he watched me walk to the
gate. Not wanting this brief separation to deprive me of a good
time, I brushed away my emotions. Making certain to show my
excitement and hiding my anxiety. Me and Chris stood there before
we got to the security check. Embracing, he pulled me tighter and
buried his face in my neck.

“
Don’t worry, ill be back soon,” I
promised.

He kissed me and let me go. Turning away
without a word, he walked out. I figured he was choked up or
something and didn’t want to cry in front of me. I felt a little
bad for this, but I was not going to let it get me down. I had to
put him out of my head for this trip, so I could enjoy myself
without feeling guilty.

On the plane I dreamed about the man again.
More vivid then before, his face became recognizable. His
appearance left me breathless. As I ran my hands through his dark
hair and Stared into his green eyes I was overwhelmed by his
presence. He took my hand and lead me passed a garden to a medieval
castle. Communicating only with his mind, no words uttered, he told
me not to be frightened by his family. Telling me they will not
harm me.

His family greeted us as we went inside.
There were many people about as if it was a party. We danced and
drank red wine. They also only communicated through their minds.
After the festivities, he took me to another room, that only we
occupied. Taking my hand he gently kissed it and starred deeply
into my eyes. “I love you Faith. I'm proud to call you my wife” I
gasped and woke up.

Holding my chest when I woke, my heart once
again felt as if it was being ripped out. Every time the dream
ended, the overwhelming sensation of separation consumed me. I lost
him again I thought.

Rocking back and forth, I sobbed,
unintentionally waking Kate up. “Are you okay Faith?” Kate asked
worriedly.

“
I don't know,” I
responded.

I didn't want to talk and I did not feel
obligated to tell her what was so upsetting.

“
Can you get me some alcohol?” I
asked.

“
What? No! Do we need to go back
home?” She asked alarmed.

I shook my head. “No, just give me some
time, I'll be fine.”

I knew I wouldn't be fine. My dream man
wasn't going away and I was confused by my feelings and what this
all meant. I felt like a mental case and for a moment I
contemplated medication. Nesting myself close to the window, I
propped my knees up in my seat and held them close to my body,
crying myself back to sleep.

As the wheels touched the tarmac we were
both jilted awake.

“
We're here,” Kate said as everyone
around us began to collect their belongings. We were greeted by her
sister at the gate. After being greeted at the gate by her sister,
Kate introduced us. Gina looked a lot like her sister. They both
had hazel eyes and brown hair, and petite in size. They reminded me
of those little dogs that never grow, yet they are
adorable.