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Authors: Lori King

Tags: #holiday, #collection, #western, #army, #cowboys, #veteran disability, #veteran erotica, #veteran hero, #red hot heroes, #red hot authors

Broken Surrender (14 page)

BOOK: Broken Surrender
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“Um, they’re not exactly, well, I mean, it’s
still really new, and…” She shook her head to clear away the
surprise and started over. “You don’t care that there are two of
them?”

Olivia laughed. “Why would I care? If they
make you happy then they make me happy. I’m a bit confused about
how it works, but I’m sure you can fill in the blanks for me.” She
paused but Sarah couldn’t think of anything to say in response.
She’d been so sure that her mother would hate the idea. “What is
that look for, Sarah?”

“I just thought, I mean you’ve always been
so judgmental of my choices that I just assumed you’d hate this
one, too.”

Dropping heavily on the sofa Olivia looked
like she’d been slapped. “Judgmental? Is that how you see me?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, with the comments
about my weight, and you were disappointed when I enlisted, and you
hated that I wanted to go to sniper school in the future.”

Shaking her head, Olivia began to cry. “I
never realized… Sarah, I love you more than life itself. I never
meant to make you feel bad about yourself or your choices.”

“I know I’m not the daughter you hoped, mom.
I’m not girly, or feminine, and now I’m not even able to be a
soldier.” Tears slid down her cheeks as she sat next to her mom and
they hugged tightly.

“No, you’re not the daughter I hoped for,
because you’re better than I ever could have imagined! Do you know
how proud I am of you? When you were overseas I told everyone I
knew about you and what you were doing, and when you were sent
back, my heart broke because I knew you’d be devastated. All I want
is for you to find yourself Sarah, and stop worrying about what
everyone else wants you to be. You enlisted to spite your father
and I, but I knew it would happen eventually. You were a born
leader. I hated seeing you shut yourself away during your recovery
because you weren’t you. You were a broken version of
yourself.”

“I still am. The doctors can’t fix me,” she
argued.

“You’re right.” Olivia said, nodding, “They
can’t fix you, because you have to fix yourself. You have to stop
thinking you’re not good enough.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.”

Wiping tears off of Sarah’s cheeks, Olivia
smiled. “I bet if I ask those two brothers, they’d help me convince
you.”

Giggling she nodded, “Probably. They do seem
to like me a bit.”

“The older one, Silas, he seems a bit
stiffer than Jeremy,” Olivia said. “Was that because of me?”

“No, it was because of me. That was the
first time I’d been put in a situation where I needed to classify
our relationship. We haven’t been seeing each other long.”

“And how exactly would you classify your
relationship?” her mother asked, lifting one eyebrow.

“I’m head over heels in love with them, Mom,
but I haven’t told them everything yet.” She hiccupped through her
tears, “They don’t know that I have more surgeries ahead of me.
What if they don’t want to deal with all of that?”

“Then they’re not the men for you,” Olivia
said firmly. “You know, when I met your father I was a young girl
just out of high school with dreams of marriage, kids, and a white
picket fence. I had no idea how to be a Navy wife. When Brian asked
me to marry him, I turned him down. For almost three months I
pushed him away.”

“Why?”

“Because I was scared of failing him. I’d
never even been away from home. Being a Navy wife meant being on my
own a lot while he was on assignment, and it meant moving from
place to place with no choice in the matter and no way to plant
roots for stability. It scared the hell out of me.”

Accepting a tissue from her mother’s purse,
she sniffed. “How did he convince you?”

“He offered to leave the Navy.”

Sarah gasped in surprise. “But he loved
being in the Navy.”

“Yes, but he loved me more. That’s when I
knew that there was no way I could let him slip away. Loving means
being willing to sacrifice. I loved him enough to sacrifice my
dreams of a white picket fence.” Her mom paused, and hugged her
again. “You have to let them decide if they love you enough. And
besides, the doctors only warned you that there’s a chance you
might need more surgeries in the future. They never said it was for
sure.”

“I love you, Mom,” she whispered into her
mother’s neck.

“I love you too, honey. Now, I need to call
your father and have him make the drive down here. I think he needs
to meet your beaus in person. Maybe we can all have dinner tomorrow
evening?” Olivia suggested, pulling her cell phone from her
purse.

“I think that would be great. Do you mind if
I go make peace with a couple of fantastic guys whose feelings I
might have hurt this evening? You’re welcome to stay here tonight.
You can take the bed and I’ll take the sofa.”

“I’ll stay here on one condition,” her
mother said sternly. “You take the bed and I’ll take the
sofa—unless you end up sleeping over at someone else’s house
tonight.”

Laughing, Sarah hurried to find her shoes
and collect her own purse before she headed off to find her men.
She had no idea what she was going to say to them, but sometimes
winging it was for the best anyway.

 

 

Chapter Nine

 

 

Silas heard Sarah’s car, but he stayed put.
The gentle sway of the patio swing soothed his inner caveman who
was hurt and pissed off, so he kept rocking away, ignoring the
sound of the front door, and the murmur of voices inside. If she
came to apologize she’d have a lot of groveling to do.

Walking in on her and Olivia was the most
awkward moment of his life. It even superseded the time in junior
high when he’d had to tell his mom he had jock itch and needed
special powder to treat it. He’d felt like less than a man as she
introduced him as a friend.

After the most beautiful two weeks of his
life, she’d knocked the wind out of him in one precious moment.
He’d been on the verge of declaring his own feelings for her when
Jeremy did, but the fear in her eyes kept his tongue still. All
this time, he’d thought they were all three on the same page, and
he was devastated to realize they weren’t.

He’d been trying to convince himself that
her refusal to spend much time out on the town with them was just
nerves, but now he wasn’t so sure. Maybe she was ashamed of their
unconventional relationship or maybe she just wasn’t ready to admit
they were actually in a relationship. It didn’t matter. It
hurt.

He heard the back screen door creak behind
him, but he quietly sipped his beer, ignoring the patter of
footsteps approaching. She hesitated next to the swing, and he got
the sense that she was trying to figure out what to say to dig
herself out of the hole she’d created.

“Silas?”

Flicking his eyes to her briefly, he noted
her tearstained cheeks, and sorrow-filled eyes, but he didn’t
respond. He wasn’t sure he could speak without breaking down.

“Silas, please talk to me. I know I messed
up, but I didn’t know she was coming to town, and she caught me off
guard.” Edging closer to him, she stopped directly in front of him,
blocking the sunset from his view. Her silhouette made his cock
twitch as usual, but his aching heart wasn’t ready to admit it
yet.

He knew she regretted what had happened. It
was written all over her face, and the moment she dropped to her
knees in front of him, and prettily whispered, “Please, Si, forgive
me,” his control broke, and he reached for her.

Drawing her between his knees, he held her
by the back of her neck and kissed her passionately. His kiss was
hard and demanding, and she accepted it, melting into him. When he
finally released her, she slumped forward, bracing herself on his
thighs.

“Sugar, I’m not angry. I’m hurt,” he said
finally.

Disappointment flashed on her face and she
nodded. “I know. And I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

He shook his head and huffed, “I’m not even
sure you understand why I’m upset, sweetheart.”

“I-I didn’t explain to my mom who you and
Jeremy were to me. I let her believe we were just friends.” She
paused, and then said, “But for the record, she knows the truth
now.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, and she
wrinkled her nose.

“She was peeping through the curtains.”

Fighting back a grin, he nodded. “Like
mother like daughter. I’m glad you told her the truth. How did she
feel about it?”

“She didn’t seem fazed at all. In fact, she
encouraged me to be happy.” Sarah’s eyes got a distinct shimmer in
them, and she smiled. “You make me happy Silas, you and
Jeremy.”

Before Silas could continue the
conversation, Jeremy stepped out of the shadows and joined
them.

“You make us happy, baby, but you have to be
okay with all of this in every way. Today, I told you I loved you
and it scared you.” His brother’s face showed no emotion, but Silas
knew he’d felt the rejection acutely.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never had anyone say that
to me outside of my parents. It surprised me. I just reacted badly
to everything.” She sounded crushed, and it tore at Silas’s
heart.

Sarah Bryant was a strong woman, with an
amazing sense of loyalty and pride. He loved that she had no
filter, and that she was so responsive emotionally and physically.
If he pushed her too hard, he’d break her, and he no desire to do
that. It was a reminder that playing with the D/s lifestyle without
her full understanding was only going to make a bigger mess of
things.

Helping her to her feet, he kissed her
forehead. “Why are you so scared to admit to the rest of the world
that you’re in a ménage relationship?”

“I’m not exactly…”

Jeremy let out a loud laugh. “Prove it,
baby.”

Silas shook his head. “We can’t exactly make
her wear a sandwich board around town.”

“No, but we can take her out to dinner as a
threesome. There will be no doubt in this town what that means to
anyone that sees us,” Jeremy said.

Considering his brother’s words, Silas
realized how smart the idea was. Sarah’s fear was that she wasn’t
good enough for them, and that people wouldn’t accept her as their
woman. If they spoiled her and took her out all over town, she’d
have to admit to herself that they wanted her for her.

Tipping her chin so that she had to look him
in the eyes, he asked, “You’re a soldier, so I know you’ve faced
nightmares before. Why does this scare you so much?”

~ ~ ~ ~

 

It was the question she’d been dreading, and
yet it was the one at the root of the whole damn situation. She had
to tell them the truth or she risked losing them both.

“I’m not good enough.” She answered,
refusing to meet either man’s eyes. “I’m not a soldier anymore. I’m
just Sarah Bryant. Part-time secretary, personal assistant, and
disabled veteran.”

“What the hell?” Jeremy said angrily. “Why
would you say you’re not good enough?”

“Didn’t you hear the part about my
disability? I’ll never be able to function like before.” She
slapped at the scars adorning the lower part of her back, and tears
pricked her eyes. “All because of one tiny piece of lead, I’m
fucked for the rest of my life. I can’t fulfill my dreams. I can’t
even get a decent job. I can’t do what I wanted to do with my
life.”

Her body was trembling, and the tears were
flowing down her cheeks now, but she’d opened up and it all seemed
to be pouring out of her uncontrollably.

“You two deserve better. You’ll want a
family someday, and I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to carry a baby
with my back problems. You both have good jobs that will support
you into your later years. I have a job I got out of pity, and I’m
ridiculously overqualified for it.” She paused to take a deep
breath, and started to move away from them, smacking Silas’ hands
away when he tried to hold her in place. “All my life, I wanted to
be a soldier, and make a goddamn difference. And this”—she gestured
toward her back where her scars were—“is what I get for it. Fucking
sent home with a check that says, thanks but no thanks.”

Her words cracked as she began sobbing, and
fell back against Silas, his firm chest bracing her, and his strong
arms holding her close. She heard him and Jeremy murmuring
encouraging words to her, but she couldn’t respond. The dam had
broken, and there was no putting the water back now.

Every bit of resentment she’d held rushed
through her. The anger and disappointment blazed into her chest,
firing her blood before the icy cold reality of her situation put
out the flames. She wasn’t a soldier anymore. She was just a
broken, sad woman.

At some point in her tearfest Silas lifted
her and carried her inside. They secured her in bed under the
blankets, bracketed by their large bodies. She didn’t know how
they’d feel about everything she’d revealed when the sun woke them
in the morning, but she fell asleep to the sound of Silas’s
heartbeat in her ear and the feel of Jeremy’s fingers stroking over
her hip. Even though she’d fallen apart, they’d held strong and
steady as always. Just letting her be.

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

Jeremy woke up alone in bed with Sarah. He
assumed Silas was fixing breakfast, but he wasn’t curious enough to
move from the cozy spot he was in. Kissing her naked shoulder, he
considered everything she’d said before she fell asleep.

He was dumbfounded to realize that she
didn’t think herself good enough for them. He was just a tow truck
driver, not a millionaire. Hell, he barely made forty thousand a
year, and the only reason he had this big house was because he’d
inherited it. It was more likely he wasn’t good enough for her.

She shifted in her sleep, and sighed, the
air rushing across his chest. The change in her breathing signaled
her newly awake status, and he kissed her forehead.

BOOK: Broken Surrender
9.82Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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