Brothers In Law (9 page)

‘Of course I do, Joy, it is sweet of you. I can't thank you enough.'

‘Oh, yes, you can. And I'll expect you to try.'

‘Of course I will.'

‘Promise.'

‘Of course.'

‘Roger, darling – how lovely. I'll go and see uncle tonight and we'll dine tomorrow. I'll lend you the money if the cheque hasn't come.'

‘Oh – I couldn't let you. But I can try mother.'

As soon as he'd finished talking to Joy, blushing slightly he telephoned Sally.

‘Oh, Roger, I am glad. What's it about?'

‘Well, I'd rather like to talk to you about it, if I might. It's not the sort of thing I can mention on the telephone.'

‘Well, when would you like?'

‘You couldn't come round now? I expect mother's got enough food.'

‘I'd love it.'

As soon as Sally had arrived Roger showed her the lovely brief, but he covered up the names with his hand.

‘You can't possibly know the people in this case and it must be all right for me to tell you if you don't know their names. Even they wouldn't mean anything to you.'

‘All right,' said Sally, ‘if you say so.'

‘D'you mind if I tell you about the case as though I were addressing the judge?' he asked.

‘Of course not.'

‘May it please your Lordship,' began Roger, ‘my client who is a lady of mature years–'

‘Stop,' said Sally, ‘that won't do. How old is she?'

‘Forty-five.'

‘Well – she'd hit you over the head with her umbrella for that – out of Court if not in. Why mention her age, anyway?'

‘I think it's important in this case. You see, Sally, there are things in this case which you and I wouldn't talk about normally – I mean – I know everyone does nowadays, but you're different. I do want you to understand that when I talk about – talk about this woman's – this woman's – er – behaviour – it's only because it's in the case.'

‘Strictly professionally,' said Sally. ‘I suppose you're trying to tell me she's committed adultery.'

‘Yes,' said Roger, ‘I am, Sally, I'm afraid.'

‘That's all right, Roger, it's not your fault; she did it, not you.'

‘Quite,' said Roger. ‘I'm so glad you understand. Now may I go on?'

‘Please.'

‘May it please your Lordship, my client who is no longer young–'

‘No,' said Sally, ‘if you must say anything about it, and I can't yet see why you should, say what her age is. She may not like that, but she'd prefer it to any of your phrases.'

‘Oh, all right. My client who is forty-five is bringing this petition on the grounds of desertion. As your Lordship probably knows desertion is a matrimonial offence and consists of–'

‘Just a moment, Roger,' interrupted Sally, ‘I don't know anything about Courts and judges, but I suppose there have been a good many cases of desertion before yours.'

‘Oh, Lord, yes.'

‘Well – don't you think the judge might know what is meant by it then?'

‘I said “as your Lordship probably knows–”'

‘D'you think he'd like the “probably?” Some judges are pretty touchy, I believe.'

‘All right then. As your Lordship knows–'

‘Well, if he knows, why tell him?' said Sally.

‘I'm sure I've read that they say things like that, Sally.'

‘I expect that's when the judge
doesn't
know, Roger, and it's a polite way of telling him. If it's something that he must know and you know he must know it seems a bit odd to me telling him at all. You might just as well tell him that the case is brought under English law. I suppose every case is, unless it's a special one.'

‘I say, you know, Sally, I do think you're marvellous. You ought to have gone to the Bar. You're going to be the most awful help to me. Oh – I could kiss you.'

Sally said nothing. Roger did nothing.

‘Just another of your phrases, I suppose. Well, it's better than saying I'm of mature years. Though I expect I shall be before – now where were we?' she went on hurriedly.

‘How would
you
start, Sally?'

‘Well, I suppose, I'd say that it was a petition for divorce on the ground of desertion and then say shortly what the facts were.'

‘When would you mention the discretion?'

‘What discretion?'

Roger explained what was meant by a discretion statement and told Sally what was in it.

‘But I don't understand,' said Sally.

‘But I thought I'd made it clear. Where a petitioner has committed adultery he or she has got to file–'

‘Oh, no, I understand all that. What I don't understand is what the husband has done wrong.'

‘He left her and wouldn't come back.'

‘Yes, but she'd committed adultery.'

‘But he didn't know of it. It's all quite clear. It's in
Herod and Herod
. I read it this afternoon.'

‘Are you sure you didn't misread it, Roger dear? After all you are fairly new to the game and I expect some of these things are difficult to understand–'

‘Now, look, Sally. I think you're awfully clever and all that, and you're going to be an awful lot of use to me, if you will, but when I say the law's so and so you've got to accept it from me. I've looked it up.'

‘But Roger, I'm sorry to seem so dense. Do try and make me understand it. I gather the law disapproves of adultery.'

‘Of course.'

‘I suppose the law agrees that it's a breach of the marriage vows or whatever the law calls them to commit adultery?'

‘Certainly.'

‘So if a wife commits adultery the husband is entitled to leave her.'

‘Quite.'

‘Well, that's what happened in your case.'

‘He didn't know.'

‘But surely, Roger, that can't make any difference.'

‘Well, it does.'

‘I still can't believe it,' said Sally. ‘Look. Marriage starts with a husband and wife living together, doesn't it?'

‘Yes.'

‘And if one leaves the other it's desertion.'

‘Exactly. That's what's happened here. He's left her.'

‘Not so fast, Roger. Is a wife entitled to have her husband living with her if she commits adultery?'

‘No,' began Roger – and then seeing where this admission was leading him to, he went on: ‘Well, it depends. If the husband finds out he can leave her.'

‘And are you really saying that if the husband doesn't find out – if the lady's clever enough to conceal it from him – then she has the right that he should go on living with her?'

‘That,' said Roger, ‘is the law of England.'

‘I'm sorry,' said Sally, ‘you know and I don't. You've just looked it up. You've taken all your Bar examinations. But I just can't believe it. You're saying that, provided a man or woman is a good enough liar, he or she can commit adultery as much as they like?'

‘It sounds odd put that way, I agree,' said Roger.

‘Well, isn't that what you were saying?'

Roger thought for a moment.

‘I suppose it is really. I must say it does sound strange the way you put it. I didn't think of it like that, and I'm sure there's nothing in the cases I looked at about it. I think I'd better look at them again. I say, Sally, you really are a wonder. I could – didn't I hear mother?'

‘You should know by now, Roger,' said Sally.

‘Oh, no, it's the people next door.'

‘Yes, Roger. You were saying?'

‘Where was I now? Oh, yes – well, when do you think I should mention this discretion business?'

‘Wouldn't it be a good thing to go and hear one or two undefended divorces yourself first, so that you can see when it's normally done?'

‘How right you are. I will.'

‘May I come and hear you do yours, Roger?'

‘Of course – that is – well–'

‘Well, of course, if I'll make you nervous, Roger–'

‘It's not exactly that, Sally. You see – as a matter of fact – it's like this really – of course I'd love you to be there – but, as a matter of fact, well – Joy's uncle sent me the brief actually.'

‘Well,' said Sally, ‘that was very nice of him – and her, but why should that make any difference? Or have they taken the whole Court for the occasion?'

‘No, of course not, but I expect Joy would like to be there – and I thought, I mean, mightn't it be a bit embarrassing? For both of you, I mean. And as it was Joy's uncle who sent the brief–'

‘And Joy who helped you to prepare it?'

‘That isn't fair, Sally. I won't ask you another time if you're going to throw it in my teeth.'

‘I simply asked if I could come to hear you. I'm not throwing anything in your teeth. Joy and I won't tear each other's eyes out, you know. We'd be sent to prison if we did. Which of us would you defend, Roger, if we were? You couldn't do both, could you?'

‘I think that's a horrible question,' said Roger.

 

Two days later Roger had his first conference. Peter and Charles went into Henry's room so that he could have the pupils' room for the purpose.

Mrs Newent came with Mr Smith, a managing clerk from Messrs Thornton, Merivale & Co, who introduced himself and his client to Roger. He invited them to sit down. They did so. Mrs Newent was attractive in a cheap sort of way, rather overdressed and too much made-up. She had very shapely legs with sheer nylon stockings and she showed Roger much too much of them both. His eyes followed their movements, which were fairly frequent, as a rabbit's eyes follow a snake. From time to time with an effort he would look at the ceiling or out of the window or at the bookshelves, but it was no use. Back they had to come. He had never been so close to such things before. They revolted but fascinated him, and he simply could not help himself. He cleared his throat preparatorily to opening the proceedings. But Mrs Newent got in first.

‘You're very young, if I may say so,' she said. She did not mean that she was in the least dismayed. Several of her friends had had divorces. One had to go through the formalities and that was all. Indeed, it was very nice to be represented by a pleasant-looking young man who couldn't keep his eyes off one's legs.

‘It must be an awful responsibility,' she added.

Roger coughed. ‘That's what we're here for,' he said eventually.

‘I'm so glad,' said Mrs Newent, and recrossed her legs. ‘I feel sort of safe with you.'

Even at that early stage and even with his inexperience, Roger began to wonder whether the discretion statement constituted the full and frank disclosure which such statements are supposed to be. He remembered, too, that the statement said quite a number of things about the husband and the dance and so forth, but when it came to the adultery it was disposed of in a very few words. The reason for Mr Storrington going into her bedroom was slurred over in the words, ‘Somehow or other he came in.'

‘Now,' went on Mrs Newent, ‘was there something you wanted to ask me?'

By this time Roger had looked again at the cases and it certainly seemed as if what he had told Sally was right. It appeared that, in spite of Sally's doubts, the law was that, provided the adulteress was clever enough, she had the right that her husband should go on living with her. But there was just the point that it was for her to prove that her husband knew nothing about it. Roger quite rightly wanted to be sure of this.

‘It's about your discretion statement,' he began.

‘Mr Smith here wrote that out,' said Mrs Newent. ‘I only signed it, you know. That's right, isn't it, Mr Smith?'

‘I wrote it out on your instructions, Mrs Newent.'

‘Instructions? I don't remember giving any instructions.'

‘It's what you told me, I mean.'

‘Oh, yes. What long words you lawyers use. If you'd said that at first I'd have understood.'

‘I take it the statement is true, Mrs Newent?' asked Roger.

‘True?' said Mrs Newent, recrossing her legs. ‘Of course. Mr Smith wouldn't have written it down otherwise, would he?'

‘There was only the once and you'd had a little too much to drink.'

‘That's right. Gin and frenches all the evening. I felt on top of the world.'

‘I thought you became dizzy and faint.'

‘That's right.'

‘After you felt on top of the world you became dizzy and faint?' asked Roger.

‘That's right,' said Mrs Newent. ‘You are a clever young man. I'm glad I've got you. D'you mind if I have a cigarette?'

‘Of course not,' said Roger and offered her one and lit it for her. She guided his hand to the cigarette, much to his discomfort.

‘I think you ought to do very well,' she said. ‘I shall remember you appeared for me when I see your name in the papers.'

Roger blushed and coughed and tried to look at the ceiling.

‘Now, there's another thing,' he said. ‘Are you quite sure that your husband knew nothing about this and suspected nothing?' For answer Mrs Newent put her first finger to the side of her nose and winked.

‘Are you sure?' repeated Roger.

‘Not a notion,' said Mrs Newent. ‘We were discretion itself, if you'll pardon my using the word.'

‘But,' said Roger, ‘it only happened once and then you were faint and dizzy. How can you have been discretion itself if you were faint and dizzy?'

‘Come now, young man,' said Mrs Newent. ‘I'm not sure you're as clever as I thought. I go to a dance. Right?'

‘Yes,' said Roger.

‘I drink too much. Right?'

‘Yes,' said Roger.

‘I go out into the cold air and as every judge knows – I should hope – it hits me for six. Right?'

‘You became faint and dizzy.'

‘Exactly. So he helps me home. Now I'm home. I'm still faint and dizzy at the bottom of the stairs. Can't get up by myself. Right?'

‘Yes.'

‘He helps me up the stairs. We get to my room. Still faint and dizzy. With me?'

‘Yes.'

‘Like the perfect gentleman he is he sees me into my bedroom. All clear so far?'

‘Yes.'

‘Right. Well, when we get into the bedroom we take a liking to each other – see, and I become less faint and dizzy. But it was too late then.'

‘How do you know your husband knows nothing about it?'

‘Because he wasn't there and no one could have told him. As soon as we took a liking to one another I sent Bert out of the room to his own room, making enough noise that people in the next room would have heard him go away within a minute or two of his coming in. Then he comes back like a mouse. Didn't even hear him come in myself. Didn't hear him go, either. I was asleep then. But I know he was ever so careful.'

‘When your husband came back, did he seem to suspect anything?'

‘Not a thing. He was just the same as ever. Cold as an iceberg. A woman's got to get a bit of warmth from someone, hasn't she?'

‘But it was only once?'

‘It was only once,' replied Mrs Newent with emphasis. ‘Because I know what's nice,' she added, ‘that doesn't mean to say I don't know what's wrong. And with all the other boarders around you've got to be careful. People talk. Now what else d'you want to ask me? I'm getting a bit tired of this cross-questioning. I thought you were on my side.'

‘Of course I'm on your side,' said Roger, ‘but I have to ask you these questions.'

‘Well, I can't think why,' said Mrs Newent. ‘It's all plain and straightforward. I want a divorce, Mr Newent wants a divorce, what more d'you want? I don't know why there's all this palaver, anyway.'

‘We don't have divorce by consent in this country,' said Roger.

‘Well – who says it's by consent? He left me, didn't he? That's desertion, isn't it? Then you have this ridiculous business about discretion. I wouldn't have told you if I'd known there'd be all this fuss. Was I faint and dizzy? When did I stop being faint and dizzy? And if not, why not? You wouldn't have known if I hadn't told you and there wouldn't have been all this nonsense. I'll know better another time. I thought one could trust one's lawyer.'

‘We have a duty to the Court,' said Mr Smith.

‘Fiddlesticks,' said Mrs Newent. ‘A lot of old fools sitting up there, what do they care? They're half asleep, anyway. I went with my friend the other day. No fuss about hers. All over in five minutes. She didn't put in any discretion statement either, not on your sweet life. She couldn't have remembered for one thing. I'm too honest, that's my trouble. And what do I get for it? Asked a lot of intimate questions. I'd be ashamed if I were a man. It's not as though I'd done anything really wrong.'

‘But I thought you said–' began Roger.

‘All right, Mr Clever, not as wrong as all that. There are worse things. Murder, for instance, or blackmail. All right, I was wrong to let him in my room that night. All right. I've told you. There it is in black and white. You've got my ruddy discretion statement and I hope it chokes you both – and the judge. Now, is there anything else you want?'

The conference was very different from the one Roger had visualized and he was glad when it ended. He felt slightly sick. Mrs Newent was not quite the sort of maiden he would care to rescue, even fully clothed.