Burning Bright (8 page)

‘He’s sound,’ Siobhan said. She glanced at me briefly. ‘Go on, both of you.’

Flynn was clearly not completely convinced. I looked up at Siobhan and nodded. ‘Come on, Flynn.’ I smiled at him. ‘Siob’ll get home quicker this way.’

Flynn nodded. ‘I guess.’ He stood up and took my hand. ‘You sure, Siob?’ he said.

‘Gary’s really okay. Honest,’ she said. ‘He’ll make sure I’m safe. He’s already explained everything to his dad so he’s not cross about the mess I
made
and
he calmed down the client.’

This seemed to convince Flynn at last.

Siobhan went back to Gary, and Flynn and I wandered up the road. Flynn kept glancing around, his arm across my shoulder. I knew he was looking out for his da, but we saw no one all the way
home.

We stood on the corner, kissing, for ages. Flynn’s kisses were always like a conversation, where he listened to how I wanted to be kissed and told me how he felt. Today it was as if he was
telling me over and over how much he loved me.

At last Flynn let me go. His eyes shone liquid gold in the street lights. ‘Please be careful,’ he whispered. ‘Please, if my da ever comes up to you again, just walk away.
Promise me?’

‘I promise,’ I said, kissing him again. ‘I promise.’

At last he pulled away. I watched him stroll along the street, then I went inside and up to my room. Mum knocked to say she was going out and there was some food in the fridge.

I called out a plaintive thank you. Now I was on my own I felt kind of weird about having met Flynn’s da and how much it had freaked out Flynn and his sister. I half hoped Mum would come
into my room so we could talk like we used to.

But she didn’t.

It was a long week. I missed Flynn and he missed me, but we both had school and Flynn had his jobs so I didn’t see much of him until the following Friday. We
couldn’t even talk for long. Flynn never had much credit on his phone – for ages he hadn’t owned a phone at all – and now, thanks to Mum cutting back my allowance, I
didn’t either.

Anyway I didn’t want to speak to him on the phone. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to leave his jobs, to stop meeting Siobhan from work, to forget about his da and his homework and all
his responsibilities.

I hated not having any money of my own. Flynn gave most of what he earned to his mum, so between us we had barely enough to scrape together the price of a cup of coffee. It made going out
anywhere almost impossible. I’d already decided to get a job – which I suspected was going to mean another argument with Mum, who was bound to complain it would get in the way of my
schoolwork.

By Thurday I was feeling really miserable. I thought I was covering it up quite well, paying attention in class and chatting to my friends, but as I wandered outside at break with Grace and
Emmi, Emmi said, ‘Okay, River, we’ve waited and waited and we’re not waiting any longer. What on earth is wrong?’

I hadn’t talked to either of them properly for a long time, especially about Flynn. In fact, I’d hardly seen them outside school. Not since the big bust-up with Mum, when
they’d both made it clear they had mixed feelings about Flynn themselves.

I stood there, feeling the cold wind against my face.

‘Come on, Riv,’ Grace said gently. ‘You haven’t talked to us for ages.’ She paused. ‘Is it Flynn?’

‘Not exactly . . . though . . . it’s just I hardly ever see him,’ I said.

Emmi raised her eyebrows. ‘Some might count that a blessing,’ she said drily.

‘Fine,’ I snapped. ‘If you’re just going to take the—’

‘No.’ Grace put her hand on my arm. ‘Course we’re not.’ She frowned at Emmi.

‘Sorry.’ Emmi rolled her eyes. ‘So, you miss him?’

I sighed. ‘I do. And nobody else ever seems to understand why – or why Flynn sometimes acts a bit . . . passionate. It’s not fair . . .’ I hesitated. No one outside
Flynn’s family knew about his da or the true background to his anger and I didn’t feel I could reveal any of it without Flynn’s permission. ‘It’s just no one
understands him,’ I finished lamely.

‘Come on, Riv,’ Emmi said. ‘Flynn doesn’t exactly make it easy, does he?’

‘You’ve got to admit he likes keeping people at a distance.’ Grace made a face. ‘Sometimes I think he
wants
people to be scared of him.’

I considered this. Maybe Grace was right. The wind whipped my hair across my face. As I brushed it back Emmi shook her head at me.

‘You can’t let him tell you what to do, girl,’ she said slowly. ‘I’d never let Alex boss me about.’

‘He doesn’t tell me what to do,’ I said, immediately feeling disloyal that I’d talked about Flynn in the first place. ‘I know he sometimes comes across as a bit
defensive, but it doesn’t help that everyone blames him whenever something goes missing.’

Emmi and Grace exchanged another look. I suddenly remembered my little silver heart bracelet and how it had appeared the very day Alex’s iPad was stolen. Did they think Flynn was capable
of that theft? Did I?

I quickly changed the subject to our weekend plans. Before I knew where I was I’d agreed to go to a party with the girls and James and Alex on Saturday night. I knew Flynn would be annoyed
at having to socialise with Alex, but Grace said she was sure we could stay over at James’s house again. I hoped that the memory of our fantastic night there would persuade Flynn that
we’d have a good time.

It did. Sort of.

Even so, when we met up on Saturday after he’d done an early shift at the café, I could see he was in a bad mood. He sulked all the way through the party, refusing to talk to anyone
except me and James. He was superficially polite to Grace, though I suspected that was simply out of respect for James. He ignored Alex and Emmi point blank, though neither of them seemed that
bothered.

I felt exasperated with him. After defending him earlier in the week to Emmi and Grace, it was deeply annoying that he should act in exactly the way they’d described.

He was still in a bad mood when we got back to James’s house. But then, as soon as we were on our own in the little room with the blue silky curtains he was so sweet. He lay me down on the
bed and held me and stroked my hair. I felt like texting Emmi to tell her. But of course I didn’t. Instead we talked. Flynn told me how much he’d missed me all week, how much he worried
about me being safe. He also talked about Siobhan, how he worried about her – how nervy she’d been after their da’s visit.

I felt like I should tell him about Gary, but it wasn’t really my business and Siobhan had asked me not to. Anyway, I didn’t want to bring up anything that would change the soft,
loving mood he was in.

I texted Mum to say I wasn’t coming home, that I was staying over ‘with friends’. She wouldn’t like it, of course, but then she didn’t like anything I did at the
moment as far as I could see. As soon as I’d sent the message I switched off my phone.

Flynn and I talked for hours, then woke up late the next morning. We had to rush to get back to his flat to be ready for Caitlin’s first Holy Communion service. As we opened the front door
to the flat the bathroom door just in front of us opened. Gary stepped out into the hallway.

I gasped.

Flynn jumped forwards and grabbed Gary’s arm.

‘What the—?’ Before Gary even had time to register what was happening, Flynn slammed him against the wall. He rammed his elbow under Gary’s chin.

‘What are you doing here?’ he hissed.

‘Relax, mate. I’ve just come to meet Siobhan.’ Gary frowned, pushing Flynn away with what I noticed were extremely muscular arms.

My breath caught in my throat. ‘Flynn.’

Flynn pushed back, pressing Gary harder against the wall. ‘You think taking her home once means . . . ?’

‘Stop it.’ Siobhan rushed into the hallway. ‘It’s okay. Flynn. It’s okay.’

Flynn stared round at her. ‘It’s not okay,’ he snapped.

His mum and Caitlin appeared in the living area door.

‘Hey, come on, mate.’ Gary’s voice was tense, but still conciliatory. He was at least half a head taller than Flynn and broader too.

Siobhan glared at Flynn – angrier than I’d ever seen her. ‘I said, stop it.’

My heart pounded. ‘Please, Flynn.’ I touched his arm. ‘You’re overreacting.’

He shot a look at me. ‘Overreacting?’ He blinked, his eyes searching my face. ‘You
knew
. . . ?’ He looked at Gary. ‘Him and . . .’

‘Me and Siobhan,’ Gary nodded – still amazingly calm in the face of Flynn’s anger. ‘We’re together.’

Flynn let go of him and staggered backwards. He looked at Siobhan. ‘No.’

‘Yes.’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘Now back off.’

Flynn looked from her, to his mum and Caitlin, then back to me.

‘You
knew
?’ he hissed.

I gulped. ‘They were here that day you gave me your keys . . . when . . .’

‘That was weeks ago,’ Flynn yelled. ‘How
dare
you not tell me what was going on?’

‘Flynn, please . . .’ My heart was in my mouth. His face was purple with rage. My hands started shaking.

‘Listen, mate,’ Gary said urgently. ‘I get where you’re coming from. If she was my sister, after what she’s been through . . . I’d be the same. But you
can’t be there for her like I can. You can’t . . .’

‘I
can
,’ Flynn yelled. ‘She doesn’t need you. She—’

‘That’s enough.’ Siobhan gripped Flynn’s arm and swung him round to face her. Her face was tight with fury. ‘This is none of your business.’

Flynn frowned. ‘None of my . . . ?’ He turned on me again. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

I stared at him helplessly.

‘Because I asked her not to,’ Siobhan shouted. ‘Because I knew how you’d react. For goodness sake, can you not see yourself?’

Flynn slammed the wall with his palm.

I jumped, so scared I felt sick.

‘Don’t tell me I’m out of order here. You’re the one who’s not been honest. And
you
. . .’ He turned on me again.

‘Please, Flynn.’ I could feel the tears welling up again.

‘Fine.’ He threw his hands into the air and spun round. Then he stormed out, slamming the flat door behind him.

I burst into tears.

Siobhan put her arm round me and led me into her bedroom. I caught a quick glimpse of Flynn’s mum and Caitin, both wide-eyed. Then Siobhan shut the door and sat me down on the bed. She
perched beside me and stroked my shoulder.

‘He’s an eejit, my brother, sometimes. Honestly. I thought if he met Gary here, like it was a done deal, then he’d just accept it.’

I sniffed back my tears. Though I knew Flynn had overreacted, I did still feel guilty about not telling him about Gary.

‘He just wants to protect you,’ I said, wiping my eyes.

Siobhan stared at me, her expression all solemn. ‘Goodness but you’re loyal.’ She hugged me. ‘I know he does.’ She sighed. ‘Trouble is sometimes he overdoes
it. Overdoes everything. Like Da.’

I shifted round on the bed. ‘Your dad?’

Siobhan nodded. ‘Yeah. Flynn’s so like him, you know. It scares me a bit. The way he loses his temper so quick.’ She paused. ‘That’s like Da.’

I looked at her, at the concern in her green eyes.

My heart sank. Even his own sister thought he was too angry, too easily wound up, too out of control. ‘Flynn’s not always like that,’ I insisted. ‘Yeah he loses it
sometimes, but he’s funny and sweet and he . . . he . . .’

‘He loves you.’ Siobhan sighed. ‘Yeah. I know he does. I’ve never seen him behave like he does around you. But still . . .’

A soft rap on the door. Gary poked his head round. ‘Sorry to interrupt,’ he smiled. ‘Your mum says we need to be going.’

Siobhan looked at me. ‘You all right?’

I nodded, wiping my eyes, then followed her out to the corridor.

Flynn’s mum took my arm as we left the flat. ‘So what d’you know about first Holy Communion, River?’ she said.

‘Not much,’ I smiled weakly. I couldn’t stop thinking about Flynn. Where had he gone? What was he doing? How could I make him understand why I’d had to keep my promise
not to tell him about Siobhan and Gary?

Caitlin skipped past us in her long white dress, a sparkling tiara in her hands.

‘She looks like she’s getting married,’ I said.

‘Well, in a way she is.’ Flynn’s mum squeezed my arm. ‘This is the moment where she commits herself to being a Catholic. To becoming part of the body of Christ.
It’s like a marriage, but to God.’

‘Oh.’ I didn’t understand and I didn’t know what to say.

‘Taking Communion.’ Flynn’s mum smiled. ‘Coming together. Sharing in God’s love. Knowing that you’re not on your own.’

We walked out onto Holloway Road. Flynn was leaning against the nearest lamp post, his arms folded. He stared grimly at us. At me. My eyes filled with tears again. All I wanted was for him to
come over, to put his arms round me.

‘Did Flynn do it?’ I asked. ‘Take Communion?’

‘Oh yes,’ his mum said softly. ‘And it’s still there, inside him, no matter what he thinks now.’

She turned away to answer some question of Caitlin’s. I watched as Gary strolled over to Flynn. Siobhan fluttered about behind him, nervously twisting her scarf round her hand. Gary said
something I couldn’t hear. Flynn nodded, sullenly, then went up to Siobhan. They talked briefly. Siobhan pointed to me.

And then he was striding over. Right next to me. It was like the first time he ever spoke to me. His presence was overpowering. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

‘Still here, then?’ His eyes were fierce. Hurt.

I stared at him, feeling guilty. Should I have told him about Gary before? No. Siobhan had already told him she’d made me swear not to say anything. What did he expect me to do? Break a
promise? My guilt morphed into resentment. It wasn’t fair of him to make such a massive deal out of it.

Flynn’s eyes softened. ‘I’m sorry I got angry,’ he said quietly. ‘I was just worried about Siobhan.’

I nodded. Flynn reached for my hand. ‘Like you said,’ he muttered. ‘Today is about Cait. Right?’

I nodded again and we walked on, to the church. I still felt troubled. Okay, so Flynn had apologised, but his whole body radiated repressed fury. He said very little as we strolled along, though
he didn’t let go of my hand. I couldn’t work out exactly what was wrong. It was obvious he’d said sorry to Gary and to his sister, just as he had to me. But he was still tense,
still angry, still full of his dark mood.