Buzzkill (Pecan Bayou Series) (9 page)

“Look in the
bedside table drawer,” I said.

“Thank you.
Sweet dreams. Do you want me to tuck you in? You used to love that when you
were small. I can still remember how I would sing to you, ‘Lavender blue, dilly
dilly lavender green …’” She stopped singing and her eyes met mine. “Do you
remember?”

I punched down
the cushion again. “You sang that to me? I used to sing that song to my dolls
as a little girl. No wonder.”

“No wonder,” she
repeated softly. She nodded and headed back into my room. I closed my eyes
again and heard the music of a late-night talk show blasting from the bedroom.
This was going to be a very long night. I was about to put a pillow over my
head when my phone chirped out the song for Leo’s ring, “Goin’ to the chapel,
and we’re gonna get married.”

“Hey there,
beautiful,” said Leo. “How’s it going? So what’s this I hear about a big surprise?”
Thank God it was Leo.

“Oh that. I
never said it was a good surprise.” I knew I should have called him two days
ago, but I didn’t want to bother him at his conference.

“Oh boy. What
happened?”

“Charlotte
happened. Hold on.” I remembered she was only a few steps down the hall and
rose from the couch. I grabbed my blanket, tiptoed through the den and out onto
the porch. Fog swirled around the streetlight, and I pulled the warmth I had
tightly around me. I felt the porch swing for dampness, and finding the seat
dry enough, settled in. Surely she wouldn’t be able to hear me out there.

“Okay, now we
can talk.”

“Charlotte as in
Charlotte Kelsey?” asked Leo.

“The one and
only.” I felt my throat thickening as tears started hitting my cheeks and
quickly chilling in the January air.

“She’s in Texas?
I thought you said she would ignore the invitation just like everything else
you’ve sent her.”

“Surprise,” I
squeaked out as I felt a sob start to hit my throat. For the past few days I
had tried to remain understanding and tolerant. Bringing her here had hurt most
of the people I loved, and I didn’t know how to fix it. Hearing Leo’s voice on
the phone unleashed all of the pent-up emotion I had been holding in since
Charlotte had arrived.

“What’s she
like?”

“She’s okay, I
guess. She seems nice, but somehow she has gotten herself entangled in all the
wedding plans, and she’s sleeping in my bed right now.” My words started
breaking up with unexpected sobs.

“Where are you?”

“Wishing I were
in Dallas, with you.”

He sighed and
his voice hit his lower register. “You have my vote on that one.”

“No, not for
that, I just feel … trapped,” I said. “She and Aunt Maggie are going at it,
every chance they get.”

“What? How’s
Maggie?”

“Not good.
Barely speaking to me.”

“You need to do something
about that. Making Aunt Maggie angry is like short-sheeting Mother Teresa.”

I rubbed my
temples, trying to ward off the headache that had appeared in the last hour.
“It’s not as easy as that. She has a way of grabbing hold.”

“Like a tick?”

I sniffed and
caught myself laughing softly. “Sort of. Aunt Maggie’s mad at me, and my dad
isn’t returning my calls.”

“Whatever
happened between them?”

“I can see now I
never really got the full story,” I said. “I was told she left town with
another cop from the department. They moved to California and married. He
worked as a cop out there, and she was an artist.”

I was repeating
verbatim what I’d heard my aunt and father told me in the last twenty-five
years.

“So they never
told you much about her?”

“No,” I said,
“and I have to say in some ways I admire them for that. She’s sweet but …
different. She seems to have had a lot of jobs, and she’s a widow now. She
drove here on a whim. Dad never ever spoke badly of her. It’s hard to believe.”

“And how often
did you speak badly of Barry to Zach?” asked Leo. He was right. I hadn’t told
Zach anything about Barry’s hit-and-run style of commitment to me. It just
didn’t seem like I was playing fair. In the end though, Zach’s fantasy view of
his dad collapsed when he finally met him. Barry hadn’t been off doing
wonderful things for society, he had just chosen to not include him in his
life. Funny how history seemed to be repeating itself. Could this be why my dad
never told me about the real Charlotte? Whatever possessed him to marry her?

“You’re right,
you know. I did the same thing to Zach,” I said.

“So what are you
going to do?”

“I don’t know.
She’s like mold in Texas, clinging to everything and making everyone around her
sick.”

“I was going to
come down this weekend to help you finish up with the deposits. Do you need me
any earlier?”

“Yes, I need you
right now, tonight, with me,” I said.

“Not much
longer, sweetheart. I promise you that.”

As the day
dawned, I again felt overwhelmed by the negativity of my family toward my new
houseguest. Aunt Maggie still wasn’t speaking to me beyond a few words, and my
dad was nowhere to be seen. As I waited at the kitchen table, massaging my
aching neck, I knew I had to try to find her a hotel. I drank a cup of rich brown
coffee and watched the morning light bounce across the scattered diamonds on my
engagement ring. I was exhausted from trying to make everybody happy.

No matter what
had happened this last week, this morning I couldn’t stop myself. I picked up
the phone and called my dad. I knew he was still angry with me, but surely he
would understand I was in over my head.

“Good morning,
Betsy,” Judd said. He’d seen my name on his caller ID and still answered the
phone. That was a good sign.

“Hi Dad.” I
suddenly found myself at a loss for words. It was comforting just to hear his
voice. A silence passed between us before I finally spoke again.

“Dad, I’m
sorry.”

Now it was quiet
on his end of the conversation. He sighed deeply as if he were expelling all of
the frustration I had caused him.

“I know,
darlin’.”

Tears started
making their way down my cheeks with the incredible relief that short statement
gave me.

“I’m so sorry I
hurt you,” I said. “I had no idea that all of this would happen.”

“Well, now you
know there was a reason why your mother was in one state and we were in
another.”

“I know that
now. Boy, do I know that.”

Dad chuckled.
“I’m sure you do, darlin’.”

“Can you ever
forgive me for inviting her and not telling you?”

“I guess I’ll
have to if I’m expected to be walkin’ you down the aisle in front of God and
everybody. I suppose I should have told you more, and that was my fault.”

I remembered my
conversation with Leo. I had done the same thing with my child, so I couldn’t
blame him for this. Even if I hadn’t done what I did, he was still a parent who
cared enough about a child not to trash an absent parent before that child’s
own opinion could be formed.

“After these few
days, I’m amazed you lasted as long as you did,” my dad continued. “You need to
know, your mother can be hard to live with, but she has her reasons.”

“Like?”

“Like, it’s hard
to explain. It was easier just to come up with a few things about her I thought
you would like to hear and then try to stick to my story.”

All those years
of trying to get people to confess hadn’t been lost on him.

“Charlotte is …
Charlotte. When we first met, I thought she was the most wonderful creature God
ever put on this earth. She came from a pretty good family here in Pecan Bayou.
Most of them are gone now. When she said she would marry me, I was on cloud
nine. She seemed so happy to be a part of my life, to be the wife of a cop and
then being a mother to you. It wasn’t until you were around two that I started
to see the change.”

“What change?” I
said. “Was it postpartum depression?”

“Maybe, but I
don’t think so. During the time we were married, Charlotte would go through
these phases. Always something new. She was into decorating, and then she
decided she wanted to be a commercial actress in Houston. After that, I think she
took up health food. She just seemed to always need a new direction to focus
on. I’m afraid you and I were dull to her. We were routine, housework and dirty
diapers. Charlotte could never stand monotony.”

My dad’s words
rang true in my mind. Maybe that was why she had tried so many things out in
California. Acting on a whim was nothing new for Charlotte.

A peace passed
between us, and I felt a familiar sense of security returning.

Dad finally
broke the silence. “I’m looking forward to seeing you relax after all of this
and will enjoy watching you dance with Leo at your wedding.”

“Sounds nice,” I
said. “Drinking champagne, doing the whole white dress thing and finally being
with the man I love.”

“Damn, and I
thought you’d always been with a man you loved,” he teased.

“You know what I
mean.”

“You sure about
the champagne? I think I still have pictures of your last wedding. Barry sure
could put away a bottle of the bubbly. Sprite’s a hell of a lot cheaper.”

That was one
memory I thought I had repressed. Barry, thinking he was at a frat party
instead of our wedding, drank heavily on our wedding day.

“I thought I had
destroyed all those pictures,” I said. “Do you still have one?”

“One or two.”

“Yeah, well do
me a favor and throw them away. That marriage, that life, it’s all over.”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll
get the fire roaring.”

“I’m so glad I
haven’t lost you in all this.”

“You never lost
me, darlin’,” said my dad. “Now, I can’t speak for Maggie, though. She’s pretty
torn up.”

“I know. I think
I’ve hurt her the most.”

“Another fence
to mend,” Dad said.

“Uh, Dad … What
do I do about Charlotte?”

My dad didn’t
hesitate. “Stage a coup, darlin’, and kick her ass out.”

“Asking your own
mother to leave is not going to be easy, but you're right.  I need to do
this.”  I admitted and then heard the sound soft footsteps padding down the
hall and the gentle closing of a door.

******

I poured another
cup of coffee and waited for Charlotte to come out of my bedroom. I took a
toasted pastry out to Zach, who was now snuggled up in my blankets in the den
watching cartoons.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re
welcome.”

“Why did you
have to sleep out here?” he asked.

“Because Miss
Charlotte is using my room.” I ruffled his hair. “We  have to try to be nice.”

“I will be,” he
said. “Danny said she’s your mom, but she wasn’t your mom when you were growing
up. Did you miss her?”

“It’s kind of
hard to miss a person you never see.”

“I miss my dad,
and I never see him.” He took a bite of his pastry and thought for a moment. “I
guess when I met him I didn’t like him. Sometimes, I guess I just miss the dad
I thought he was. Is that silly?”

How could
someone so young be so wise?

“I love you,” I
said, hugging him.

“Love you, too.”

I returned to
the kitchen to find Charlotte dressed in one of the outfits she bought after
arriving here. She grabbed a cup of coffee and glanced at her watch.

“Are you going
somewhere?” I said.

“I feel terrible
that I’ve inconvenienced you. I’m thinking of going somewhere else.”

I rubbed my neck
feeling, a bone-deep ache.

“You don’t have
to do that.”

Charlotte sipped
her coffee and then spoke. “Maybe I do. Maybe I made some assumptions about you
and me. I don’t know. In my mind you were still that sweet little girl that I
left. It was easier then. I didn’t worry about you because you had Maggie and
Judd. I knew you would be all right.”

“And now?”

“Now, you’re a
grown woman with a child,” she said. “You know, for all my restlessness, coming
here I became aware of something. You are turning into the person I always
wanted to be.”

“There was
nothing stopping you from staying here and becoming that person,” I replied.

“You don’t
understand. Every day I spent here I felt like I was being buried alive. I was
covered up with more and more and more. I had to get out before I suffocated.”

“I hope you’re
not feeling that way now,” I said.

“Maybe, a
little. More, though, I feel like I’ve upstaged what you and Maggie have
together.”

“She isn’t too
happy with me,” I admitted.

“I sensed that.
Maggie and I never really got along, but I left her the thing I loved the most.
Even though sometimes I hated her, just look at you. You’re smart, funny,
beautiful and amazing.”

Tears welled up
in my eyes. She was saying she loved me.

“I’ve made a
mess of things here. That’s something I find I have a talent for. My coming
here was not a good idea.” Her brown eyes met mine. “I won’t be staying for the
wedding. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I have a few
details to take care of here in town, and then I guess I’ll drive back to
California. Time to put the cat out.”

Once again, my
mother loved me. Once again my mother was leaving me.

“Thank you for
inviting me,” she said. “I know I haven’t been the best mother. There was so
much out there I wanted to try, lives I wanted to be living. Now I can see what
I gave up was much more valuable. You’re a wonderful person, Betsy. I think you
have a lot more of your dad in you than my share of the genetic pool, and
that’s a good thing. Tell Zach goodbye for me.” She patted my arm and rose to
leave.

I felt a deep sadness
welling up in me as I watched my mother pick up her bag and head out the door,
again.