Authors: Amy Lynn Garcia
All rights reserved. © 2015 Amy Lynn Garcia
No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in anything, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from Amy Lynn Garcia or her legal representative.
This series contains adult content not meant for anyone under the age of 18. Those under the age of 18 are discouraged from reading this material.
This page will be short and sweet.
Many Thanks to:
My beautiful daughters: Alisha, Saidee, Cayla, Jaylynn and Sophia,
My sister Jody Waldron,
My wonderful street team and loyal fans,
And to everyone who helped me along this exciting journey.
I wish I had room to thank you all individually but I only have one page!
I do, however, need to make room to thank Wendy Pritsel for editing and formatting Dark Thief.
“Blinding” By Florence & The Machine
“If” by Bread
“The Scientist” by Coldplay
“The One” by JSMN
“Monster” by Imagine Dragons
“The Heart Wants What it Wants” by Selena Gomez
“Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M
“Remedy” by Seether
“Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol
“Crash Into Me” by Dave Matthews Band
“Crazy Love” by Van Morrison
“Headstrong” by Trapt
“All of Me” by John Legend
“Read Your Mind” by AVANT
“The Church and the River” by Jennifer O”Connor
“I Give You Everything” by Lisa Stansfield
“Take Me to Church” by Hozier
“Sacrifice” By ITMOI Nit Sawhney, Jocelyn Pook & Ben Frost
“And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” by Jennifer Hudson
“Dark Side” by Kelly Clarkson
“Bring Me to Life” By Evanescence
“Love Me Harder” by Ariana Grande
“Undressed” by Kim Cesarion
“Latch” By Sam Smith
“Public Displays of Affection” by Morcheeba
“Dissolved Girl” by Massive Attack
“I Against I” by Massive Attack Featuring Mos Def
“Adore You” by Miley Cyrus
“Changed by You” by Between The Trees
“Calling All Angels” by Train
“Monster” By Skillet
“Say Something” by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera
“A Place For My Head” by Linkin Park
“Don’t Wake Me” by Robots Don’t Sleep
“Lay Me Down” by Sam Smith
My world has been upside down since Evan Lawson landed in my ICU a few short months ago. I used to be a simple single, hard working nurse who lived only for her family. Somehow, I’ve tumbled down a deep rabbit hole just like Alice in Wonderland and entered a world I never imagined existed. A world full of uncertainty, passion, love and pain. The love of my life is also the bane of my existence. Love was something I’d crossed off my “to do” list early in life, something I refused to allow into my heart, until Evan.
Now the past that lead me down the road that protected my heart is threatening to extinguish the flame that lights my world. I don’t know who I am anymore, I’ve been merely existing since I left Evan, one breath at a time, one heart beat after another, waiting for the end. Ironically illness is the thing that’s saved my life, if you can call what I was doing living. After finding myself bedridden in a hospital I realized what my life used to be about, family, career and friends. I found the resolve to begin living again just in time to face the one thing I fear most, the thing that changed my life into a hell that no woman should ever be put through, being kidnapped, and now I think it’s happening again.
Heavy…that’s the only word to describe this moment…I feel like a lead anchor being dropped into the ocean, each link scraping against the ship as it drops into the deep water below. A brief moment of lucidity breaks through and I realize I’m lying in the rear of a musty smelling van, the driver’s hand is visible on the wheel, small and feminine. She’s wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up obscuring her face. I’m unable to see any more of her body due to the position I’m stuck in behind the front seat. Something feels sickeningly familiar about my chauffeur for a moment and then I’m slammed in the chest with realization. The stalker from my room, that’s who has me. Please no, no, no this isn’t happening! I left him, the target should have been removed from my head, why would she want
? And this fucking van, it’s identical to the one I was stuffed into when I was 19 by three evil demons who painfully changed my life forever. How the hell could this possibly be happening to me twice?! I have to be the most unlucky person alive.
My entire body is unresponsive, numb, but for some reason I’m able to see where I am and I’m going into full-fledged panic mode, my body frozen but my mind aware. I know this isn’t going to last long, that little internal switch that turns off when I feel threatened or scared has been flicked. I start with the tunnel vision and my hearing fades away slowly, passing out is my specialty and for once I’m ok with that.
Somebody is carrying me…that’s all I can determine when I am aware again, as we gently bounce along. I’m able to see through a slice of my opened lids that I’m outside and I can feel rain drops falling on my face causing me to squint, lightning in the sky above flashes brightly an occasional rumble of thunder rolls through with the storm. The noise that I don’t recognize though is a high pitched hissing that progressively gets louder and louder, my ears feel like they are bleeding.
If I could move my arms I’d cover my ears. Try as I might the strong arms that carry me are attached to a ghost in the night. Fear strangles me, I’m helpless, trapped and at the mercy of whoever has deemed me important enough to steal away. What do they want with me? Do they think I’m still connected to Evan and that kidnapping me would benefit them in some way? Ransom maybe? Well, if its money they want I have a feeling that no matter what is or isn’t going on between Evan and I he would pay any amount of money to bring me home. We may have broken up but the love between us would never die and he would see to it that neither would I.
Fear is familiar to me, actually horror would describe the things I’ve been through in my short life. I’ve experienced things people don’t even see in the most gruesome horror flicks, the fact that I can even function as a member of society is, plain and simple, amazing. So with all of that history it’s surprising that I haven’t had a heart attack or stroke before this moment, having to endure being snatched up and taken against my will twice.
Could this possibly be the loan attacker from my past? The one who was never caught? The one I have spent 10 years looking over my shoulder for? Sheer freezing ice flows through my veins at the thought of being in the hands of that monster again, the things he did to me should have left me dead and he would have loved to see it end that way. He left the house for food, booze or drugs I don’t know which, but he wasn’t caught during the raid that imprisoned his two fellow abusers.
The evil coursing through that man’s body is indescribable. Not even my parents or my therapist know exactly what caused my physical injuries, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone, it was
bad. A video of the nightmare I lived during those three days plays in my mind on repeat…if it’s him who has me I pray I never wake up.
You know that feeling when you’re in the middle of a night mare? When you are paralyzed physically in fear, trapped in your mind with only the slightest realization that this isn’t happening but you just cannot move or wake up? That is how I feel right now. In my darkness I sense something is there with me but I’m frozen screaming internally to move, to get away, and to run! Being very familiar with nightmares I begin to see that this one is different from my usual torture, maybe not a nightmare at all.
The force holding me captive lifts ever so slightly and I manage to open my eyes a slit before reacting to the light and snapping them shut. Try again, I encourage myself but my body isn’t responding. My hearing cuts in and out like the waves of the tide, a humming sound that I’m not familiar with rushes through my brain and plagues me with a surge of desperation. Once again I attempt to open my eyes, this time anticipating the light I am able to lift my heavy lids a fraction, allowing the light to pierce my darkness.
Where am I? Where have I been? What the hell is going on? Heart racing, I peer straight ahead of me attempting to focus on something, anything. I feel like a fish in a bowl looking out into a strange warped room. I make out tiny blue lights streaming in straight lines, two of them parallel disappearing into an unknown distance. Like driving through fog I can only see my immediate surroundings. I try to blink the blurriness from my vision but it continues to annoy and cripple me. Lowering my gaze using only ocular muscles, as nothing else seems to be functional, I resist the urge to roll them back into my head and return to the dark. I am so weak and tired but I refuse to give up. After a moment of intense focus and trying like hell to comprehend what is going on, I see him and my heart stops.
An angel identical to Evan surrounded by a glowing light is kneeling at my feet with his head bowed, elbows bent on the surface I am laying on, hands clasped together holding the crucifix that he wears around his neck in front of him as if in prayer. This isn’t real. That isn’t him. I’m still asleep, I must be. Surrendering to the overwhelming urge to slide my eyes closed again I wonder if I have died and this is how the body gradually eases itself through the shock.
I’ve always wondered how it feels to die. I’ve watched as my patients do it time and time again. Dylan Thomas’s famous poem, Do not go gentle into that good night seeps into my brain…rage, rage against the dying of the light. Do not go gentle into that good night, are the last words floating around my mind before I’m swallowed into an ocean of darkness again, paralyzed and held prisoner inside my own mind.
I can’t be dead, I’m hungry, really fucking hungry. I hear my stomach growl and the realization that movement is now possible flows through me and I flex my hands and open my eyes. The same surroundings from earlier come into focus, minus my angel Evan, was he ever hear at all? I’m alone, in a narrow room, no I deduce it’s not a room, a cabin maybe? Wide Leather chairs facing each other with a small table between them are on my left and another identical seat across an aisle to my right. My mind scrambles to pinpoint at least one familiar thing but it’s simply not happening.
I roll my heavy head to the right and see a huge television screen on a narrow table that hugs the wall. But something is off about this narrow dimly lit room, it vibrates and hums. It’s then that I notice six round windows lining each side of this mystery room and the pieces of the puzzle slip in place. I’m on a fucking air plane!
Movement of my right arm is restricted by something when I try to prop up on my elbows to get a better look around. Tubing, I have an IV in my right arm ok that feels familiar. Yes, I was in the hospital, a virus or something made me feverish and my mother and sister left me to go home for the night. That’s all I remember other than snippets of being transported in a van and the little knife lady driving it. Nothing else makes sense for several beats until the heavy blanket of realization is yanked from over my head and the pain and loss of the one and only man I’ve ever loved clenches in my chest.
Evan was gone and I was sick, physically but more importantly emotionally. The loss of that man had begun to destroy me. The notion that two halves don’t make a whole in a relationship is complete nonsense, whoever told me that, hasn’t truly been in love. The power of love is much stronger than I could have ever imagined. I found the other half of me in Evan and I need him like I need oxygen, water or the blood flowing through my veins.
My fear is the only thing holding me back from moving now, the drugs have worn off but I’ve only given my eyes permission to move scoping out the cabin searching for the small women who tucked me into bed seven weeks ago with a hunting knife in her hand or the devil who raped and tortured me ten years ago. It’s insane that there are at least two suspects that could be my captor. Something else that’s insane is that anyone has the capability and funding to pull something like this off.
That’s when it hits me, the creep that is still running from the law couldn’t have enough money to bank roll this operation, but I know nothing of the little knife woman. At this point, the unknown is much better than the known so I say a little tiny prayer to God that I’m spared any harm just this once. Something buzzes inside of me and I suddenly feel strangely calm in the middle of this absurdity. Where did that come from?
A sense that this is not what it seems seizes me, but my common sense says it’s just my mind protecting me from something very bad. My heart is having other ideas though and I’m down with listening to my heart. So, heart, let’s have a talk, tell me whatever you have in mind as far as figuring out this fucking mess I’m in and I’ll back you 100%, if for no other reason than to shield my crumbling soul and save myself from the loony bin.
Movement at the opposite end of the cabin disrupts my thoughts, a small door opens and Evan’s massive body fills the space between the cock pit and the room I’m being held in. He freezes and I gasp and shake my head back and forth slowly, refusing to accept the situation.
“No, no, no, no, this isn’t happening, you cannot be the one responsible for this.” I said, holding up my free hand warning him not to come close, and he doesn’t. He seems frozen and surprised, as though he had no idea I was here.
Here…where the fuck is here? Lowering my hand, I look down into my lap while my world spins out of control…something that always seems to accompany interactions between Evan and myself. I lower back into the nest of pillows that have been holding me safe and secure since being captured and smuggled out of my hospital bed. Emotions crash and tangle within me, anger, betrayal, but most of all utter relief floods every cell in my body.
My initial instincts screamed KIDNAPPED because of my history but this was such a different kind of capture that I’m having trouble comparing the two incidents. I don’t feel any threat or panic about being taken now that I know who was behind it. But, what the hell is going on here? I raise my eyes just enough to see him still standing there, a muscle in his jaw twitches but otherwise he seems more relaxed.
“Where are we?” I ask, attempting to keep control but my body is trembling and I have a near insane urge to just scream and not stop. How could he do this, he knows kidnapping is an elephant sized trigger for me and we broke things off! Well, I broke things off. He’s still standing there staring at me like a deer in the headlights. “What the fuck is going on here Evan? Talk to me I want to know why I’m in a jet thousands of miles above ground when I’m supposed to be in the hospital. We were done! That woman was after us, I. Can’t. Breathe!!” I scream and then gasp for breath, nothing sensible just all out screaming, now holding my hands over my ears and squeezing my eyes closed tight.
If I scream loud enough and close my eyes tight enough maybe this will all go away! I’ll be transported back home with my parents and Red sitting on the couch in front of a mindless sitcom on the television. Strong arms circle my body and I sit up and fight against the physical contact. “Baby, baby, it’s ok, you’re safe, you’re with me, shush, it’s all right I’ve got you.” I continue to struggle even though I’m pathetically weak. I’m not making any headway. I then hear a women's voice from somewhere behind Evan softly ask a question and he confirms a dosage of a drug I recognize.
When I open my eyes to see who is there with us I see Callie standing behind Evan dressed all in black drawing up something in a syringe. What the fuck is Callie doing here? This has to be some sort of hallucination or dream, none of it makes sense. Suddenly, I feel the effects of the medication and the pitiful fight I was putting up vanishes like smoke. I feel Evan lower my limp body back down to the couch where I’ve been laying for who knows how long.
I can feel his big soft hands on either side of my face as he rests his forehead against mine. He speaks to me but my mind is reacting to whatever Callie put in my IV and I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, I can’t focus on his words. Soft lips brush against mine as my eyes roll back into darkness. I slip back into sleep. Do they know when they put me out like this it doesn’t keep the nightmares from coming?
Wrong combination of drugs assholes…now I’m thrust into dreams I can’t wake from because of the medication flowing though my veins. Just another form of torture and captivity, maybe this is what I’m destined for? I’ve been attacked and kidnapped three times in my life now. First when I was 19 by men who nearly killed me, second my heart and soul were taken by a stranger in my ICU and nearly crushed when we separated and now being abducted from my hospital bed and shipped off in a jet to who knows where? Oh and don’t forget the drug induced unconsciousness where I can’t escape my nightmares. God, please tell me what’s next?