Defiance (Rise of the Iliri Book 3) (40 page)

"What did they do to you?" he whispered.

She raised her eyes to his.  "I wasn't treated any different from anyone else in the Blades."

"Even your human?"

Slowly, she nodded.  "They call him an Iliri-lover.  When he was a kid, he had his ribs broken by his friends, because he hugged his servant." She shrugged it off.  "I told Blaec what you offered us at the ball.  We haven't told the rest of them.  We wanted to wait until the fighting was over but we can't take it.  Ten years ago, Blaec was promoted on the field.  That's the only way a crossbred gets the rank he has, not to mention control of an elite unit.  He made the Blades into what it is.  For a decade now, we've done what we can to protect the iliri, to work for iliri equality, and to make the world a bit safer for our kind.  We're not done.  We can't stop until the Emperor is dead.  I can't take Anglia into that.  It's not your fight."

"It is now," he promised.

"Not like this, it isn't.  You can push him back into Terric, but can you really justify taking over half the continent?  How would you explain away the leader of your military mutilating the body of the Emperor and systematically slaughtering every anti-iliri officer they have?  We're the
Black Blades
.  We don't fight fair.  I'm talking about assassinations, mutilations, the use of our abilities in ways that you cannot explain to most humans.  I'm talking about breaking the Conventions of War to make sure my people survive.  What would you even do with the iliri we plan to save?"

The King leaned back with a proud smile.  "The same thing I plan to do now.  Offer them a home here.  Sal, we have acres of land with no one living on it.  We have room for people, and we have no problems with iliri.  Hell, this is your homeland, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it kinda is.  Would you really take all of us?"

"I would.  I don't know how, but yeah, I would.  And I'd need someone to help me figure it all out.  Sal, you've set me on my ass more times than I can count."  He chuckled to himself.  "You remember the night you bit me?"

She giggled, too.  "Yeah."

"I've learned a few things since then.  You put me in my place in a way that allowed me to keep my pride, and then you never held it against me.  I need that.  I need someone that understands iliri, but who can explain it to me in a way that I can get through my thick head.  Shit, Sal.  I can't do this without you."

"Yeah, Dom.  You can.  You have to."  She pushed herself to her feet.  "I'll check the prisoners, because if you're serious about your offer, I'm betting you have almost two hundred new citizens out there."

"See!  That proves my point.  I can't do this without you.  How would we know if they were iliri?"

She smiled.  "You'll ask the grauori.  They can smell them as well as I can.  Dom, you'll be fine.  Ilija will do great."  Then she headed to the door.

"So why can't you stay with us?" He called, stopping her halfway across the room.

She turned to face him, but her shoulders dropped.  "I have to do this.  We have to do this."

"Ok.  And Anglia just got pulled into this war.  What aren't you telling me?"

Biting at her lips her head tilted to the ceiling.  She blinked and took a deep breath.  When she looked back at the man she'd made into a king, her eyes were still dry.  "We probably won't be coming back."

"Why not?"

Sal shook her head.  "We know what the next mission will be.  Someone has to infiltrate the Emperor's domain.  He won't step down because we ask nicely, Dom.  We have to take it."

"Sal," he said softly, moving toward her.

Sal lifted her hand, stopping him.  "Just..." She had to breathe before she could finish.  "You want to do something to show me how you feel?  Take care of Roo and the pups.  I need to check the prisoners and interrogate the Archduke."

Without another word, she turned and stormed from the tent.

Chapter 43

Sal pushed through the flap of the tent and kept going.  Tebio and Caein got a nod as she passed but nothing more.  Her destination was the Shield's camp.  If Dom was going to start prying into her plans and trying to be nice, then she had a few things to take care of.  She owed the man that much.  Somehow this country had made her feel like she belonged, which meant the last thing she wanted to do was drag it into her mess.  But that didn't mean she couldn't clean up a few that existed before she arrived.

Ilija was the first, and she was going to make him deal with this head on.  As the royal guards, the Verdant Shields were clustered just behind the King's pavilion.  The tents were green, like all the other Anglian tents, but the nearly white armor was stacked outside each one.  Vanja walked past and Sal called out to him, asking for Ilija's tent.

He pointed.  "It's that one, Kaisae.  Everything good?"

"Yeah, I just need the Colonel."

"Gotcha.  He hasn't been real sociable lately, just so you know."

"Thanks, Vanja," Sal said, moving toward the tent he'd indicated.  She scratched at the flap, speaking softly to the door.  "Ilija?"

"Come in, Sal," he called back.

Ducking through the flap, she found Ilija on the floor, his armor spread about him as he carefully cleaned each piece.  Except for the gear, his tent was immaculate.  The only thing out of place was the smell of his frustration and fear.

"I see you keep your home as neat as your unit," she said.

He just shrugged.  "Ok, let's get this over with.  I fucked up."

She cocked her head, refusing to make this easy.  "How?"

"I slipped in the link.  Damn it, though, Sal.  What was I supposed to do?"

"You mean Jarl?  That's a mistake?"

The big guy looked up at her, clearly annoyed.  "Don't play the fool with me, Kaisae."  He gestured to his cot, inviting her to sit.  "I just spent a few hours in your head.  I have a pretty good idea of how you think."

"True, but what does that have to do with the kid."  She held up a hand to prevent him from interrupting her.  "Jarl's a good kid, Ilija.  He's going to be a damned good soldier whether you like it or not.  I'm still iliri, and I still don't really understand the foolish rules you have about who you love here, but I get that you've kept it a secret."

"Yeah, but shit.  They all know, now."

"So?" Her ears flicked forward.  "None of them know who she is.  It's not hard to figure out, but you didn't leak that.  Blaec closed you off too fast.  I think only the Blades caught that you have more than one kid, but the Shields can put pieces together.  From what I can see you've only made one mistake, and it's not the one you think."

"Ok, so what did I do wrong?" he grumbled, scrubbing at his bracer.

"You didn't trust your men."

His frantic cleaning slowed and Ilija stared deeply at the sheen on his armor for a moment.  "What did you do?"

"I asked them.  That's it.  Tebio and Caein are at the King's door, and I had a visit with him – not about you.  I asked what they thought about the whole thing, and it's not at all what you seem to think.  They wonder when you'll trust them enough to tell them who she is.  They're ready to cover for your visits, and they both said that the kid's actions today are why they plan to spoil him a bit."  She smiled at the top of his head, watching the Colonel process that.

Carefully, he put the bracer to the side and sealed the container of oil.  He sighed, then wiped the excess from his hands with the rag, and sighed again.  Finally, he lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes red but dry.

"He doesn't know.  We couldn't tell him."

She finally accepted the invitation and lowered herself to the cot.  "Yeah, we all got that.  You ever going to?"

He shook his head, slowly refusing the idea.  "I can't.  A soldier's kid doesn't get to be a king's page, but his sister's bastard does."

"What do you want, though?  I don't mean what can happen, I mean what do you wish could happen?"

He looked down, rubbing at his hands again, and sniffed.  "If you were anyone else, I'd say you wouldn't believe me.  I love her Sal, I always have."

"I know – Ilija, you touched Jase.  Does she feel the same?"

He nodded.  "The King's bastard managed to marry the old Valmere Marquis's daughter.  Valmere didn't have a son, and the province had fallen into poverty and near obscurity.  Tam, Dom's father, was just as sly as the old king.  He seduced the girl, compromised her, and married into the position of Marquis.  My dad was a cavalryman until he took a bad fall.  Well, he got transferred there so he could recover, and mom worked in the kitchens.  My old man never left, so I was born and raised there, usually running errands for my mom until I got older."  He paused, staring at the canvas wall while his eyes looked into the past.  "Girls don't get treated the same as the heir, so Nica was always in the kitchens.  I've known her since I can remember, Sal.  When she was almost seventeen, I got her pregnant."

Ilija snagged a greave from the pile and began wiping it down, keeping his hands busy.  She waited.  When the last speck of blood was gone, he spoke again.

"When she told me, it was two weeks before I turned eighteen.  Marrying her was out of the question.  The Marquis was more likely to hang me.  Nica was intended to secure some alliance that would make him wealthy enough to rebuild that stupid keep.  So I enlisted and worked my way up.  The least I could do was get out of her way and make sure the kid had what he needed, right?  Four years later, I was stationed back in Valmere on the walls.  I gave her everything I could, Sal, but we both knew that the kids would be better off as bastards than if we married.  I could barely afford my own food, let alone a family.  Well, being so close to her again, it was like nothing had changed, and, well..."  Ilija took a deep breath.  "That's when she got pregnant with our girl, Nava.  She's six now.  In all those years, I've never touched another woman."

Sal smiled.  "Cessivi.  That's the word we use.  Vanica is your cessivi."

He looked up at her.  "What does it mean?"

"The other half of you."

A wistful smile flickered across his face.  "She is.  Shit, Sal.  I'd give anything to marry her.  When you make me Sergeant at Arms, maybe it will be enough.  Maybe then I'll be able to convince Dom that I truly love her and that I can be a good husband for her."

She ducked her head to see his face.  "You know I talked to him, right?"   

"You said it wasn't about me."

"No, but I asked about Jarl.  He did everything right, and that gave me a reason to ask.  Did you know that Dom loves his little sister and has been trying to help her since Jarl was born?"

Ilija just nodded.  "Nica and I agreed that this is what's best for the kids, but Dom's been trying to do everything he can.  He's the reason she wasn't forced to marry some old man to make the shame of it go away.  Told Tam that if he tried, Dom'd marry a barmaid."  He chuckled.  "Remember when I told you I like this king?  Well, yeah, that's why.  He's a good guy.  He doesn't want his nephew to suffer what he did."

"He doesn't.  He told me that he wants to squire Jarl, but he can't.  If he could find a way to make it happen, he would."  Sal stood and walked toward Ilija, resting her hand on his shoulder.  "You've been a good friend to me, and an honest one.  What we hear in the link, we don't share it with those outside the link.  I won't say anything, but I'll be damned if I don't do everything I can to help you.  Will you trust me?"

He gently placed his hand over hers.  "Yeah, Sal.  I trust you.  That's why I told you all of that.  I don't know what to do.  Damn, I don't even know what I can do.  I'm the son of a guard!  I don't know shit about nobility."

"Then trust your men, too.  They already know and haven't said a thing about it.  Stop sulking, Colonel.  Your armor's as clean as it's going to get."

He looked up sheepishly but nodded. 

"Besides, we have an Archduke to interrogate and some prisoners to make citizens.  Dominik is granting citizenship to any iliri in the group.  We just have to figure out what to do about the rest of them.  You've got an hour, and then I'm going to need you.  Ok?"

The big guy's tension finally faded.  "Thanks, Sal."

She turned to the door, but paused, thinking.  "Ilija?"

"Yeah?" he asked, putting his armor away.

"Who inherits Valmere?  If Dominik is the King now, and women can't inherit, and Jarl is a bastard, then who gets it?"

He shrugged, more worried about putting the rags away than any implications.  "I guess Dom'll have to appoint a new Marquis."

"I see."  Sal smiled and stepped through the tent flap.