Denying the Wrong (5 page)

“You're just a slutty bitch,” he slurred, pointing at me.

“Matt, shut up right now and let's go outside. If you want to talk, we'll talk. But not here.” I almost felt sorry for the guy, looking around at all the eyes focused on us. He followed me outside, fumbling around on his feet.

“What do you want, Matt?” I asked staring him down.

“I want you back!” he screamed.

“And coming here, calling me a slut in front of all those people is your way of asking me to come back to you? Are you crazy?”

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “You were the only thing in my life I was proud of.”

“Matt, listen to me.” I stood up straight, attempting to look in control even though I was a little afraid of being alone with him being so drunk. “It's over. And even if I still had feelings for you, look at yourself! I don't even know how to deal with you.”

He let out a deep sigh, his eyes closing in defeat as his head slumped down. He didn’t move for so long, I wasn't sure if I should say something or walk away. “Bye, Matt.” My voice was full of regret. I wouldn’t forget him because he was my first, but I just wanted him to leave me alone. I turned around thinking that was the end of it, hoping he’d finally listened to me.

A loud crash sounded behind me, scaring me enough that I ducked. I turned around and froze as I watched Matt pound his fist into my windshield, repeatedly, until blood was dripping off his hand. His eyes were so full of hatred as he glared at me, I couldn't even scream. Scott ran up to Matt, restraining his arms behind him. Kat ran to me and helped me stand. I didn't notice the tears coming down my face until Kat wiped them away.

Matt didn't try to get out of Scott's hold. He just stood there staring at me.

“We shouldn't let him drive,” I told Scott. “I can drive him home if no one else can.”

“Over my dead body. I'll take him home,” Scott yelled at me. He was holding on tight to Matt.

I nodded in agreement, not wanting to provoke an argument. “Scott, make sure you take him to his window so you don't wake up his dad.” I wasn't happy with Matt, but I didn't want him getting into trouble with his father, who was a drunk and probably just as unstable.

Scott pushed Matt over to his own car and shoved him in the back. Scott's car looked new and expensive. I hoped Matt didn't puke in the back seat. I watched them until they drove away, the now familiar feeling of guilt rearing its ugly head throughout my body.

Kat called Dillon to come pick us up. It looked like I would have to leave my car overnight until I could call a towing company and not get charged night fees.

“Do you want to report this to the police?” One of the guys that was at the meeting stood with us, taking pictures of the front of the car.

“No, I have insurance. Why are you taking pictures? Please don't post them online.” I rubbed my temple that had started throbbing from the stress.

“I'm taking pictures just in case you didn't bring your phone and your insurance needs them for their report.” He gave me a pity smile.

“Thank you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. That's really sweet of you to think about that.” Kat got off the phone and hooked her arm through mine. I wanted to disappear and pretend like this never happened.

Just as Dillon was pulling up, people started to leave the meeting. I was parked down far enough that I didn't think everyone saw my car. Kat grabbed our purses out of my trunk where we always hid them, and we left. I'd have to reconsider coming to these meetings. Not only was I shaking, I was extremely embarrassed.

Everyone in the car was silent during the drive home. I could see Dillon's knuckles turning white, gripping the steering wheel. I didn’t even try to calm him down, that was Kat’s job. I needed to figure out how to tell my parents I had to leave my car at the gym and why.

Dillon pulled up to the front door of our house and I got out without saying anything. Kat rolled her window down and said goodnight. Before she rolled it back up, Dillon leaned over to her side and said, “Hey, sis, you’d better tell Mom and Dad the truth because I sure as hell won’t be covering for that ass wipe.” I just waved a little without responding. Ugh, he's right.

My mom was in the living room waiting for me to come home. By the look on her face, she knew something was wrong. I sat down and explained what had happened. She looked worried, not mad like I’d anticipated.

“It's not your fault, sweetheart. Dillon gave us enough detail after Kat called. It sounds like you did what you needed to do. I do wish you’d called the police right away. Your father is in the other room talking to them right now.”

“He's going through so much right now. I didn't think I needed to add to his pile. We can talk more tomorrow. I'm going to go up to bed.” I hugged her goodnight and went upstairs. I heard Dillon get home a couple minutes later and was thankful he went straight to his room instead of coming into mine to talk.

I got a text from Scott half an hour later.

Scott: Are you home?

Me: Yes, thank you for taking Matt home. Did he get inside safely?

Scott: He's home. No worries. I'm having your windshield replaced right now. You can pick it up in the morning.

Me: You didn't have to do that. I have insurance.

Scott: I wanted to do it. Can you sneak down and meet me around the corner?

Instantly, butterflies flew in my stomach.

Me: Yes. Be right down.

Scott: Bring the present I bought you.

Why the hell does he want me to bring my vibrator?
All the possibilities started running through my mind, making me fidgety. Truthfully, I hadn't used it because it felt weird to be alone while turned on. I grabbed it from my hiding spot and put it in my bra. I hadn't used my little ladder in a while, so I climbed down with caution.

I saw his car and my mouth went dry. I was still trying to guess why he would want me to bring my toy.

When I climbed into the passenger side, he smiled at me and laughed under his breath.

“What's so funny?”

“You look cute in boxers and a tank top.” It was hard to see his expression with the little amount of light shining in from the street lamp, but I could see the same fire in his eyes he’d had after I watched his video.

“I was about to get into bed before you texted. Sorry I didn't dress up more.” I smiled my best flirty smile. “Thank you for getting my windshield fixed. You really didn't need to do that. I owe you one.”

“I'll cash in on that someday when you least expect it.” I could feel myself blushing. “Doll, you are so beautiful when you blush. Especially when I know I'm the one that caused it.”

“Thank you.” Ahh! I don’t know what to do or say!

Scott reached down and began unzipping his pants. He pulled his pants and boxers down far enough so he could pull his cock out. Whoa! I stared at him hoping he was finally going to make out with me, but he stayed on his side and started stroking himself up and down. His length looked average but it was so thick, I didn’t know if I should be impressed or scared it could hurt me.

“Take out your toy and use it on yourself.” His face was so intense.

I smiled at him even though I felt a little disappointed. “I thought you were finally going to let me touch you,” I replied softly.

“No, not yet. I want to watch you touch yourself.” He kept stroking up and down. It took all my self-control not to slide across the seat and throw myself at him.

I pulled out my toy, propping my foot up on the dashboard. My boxers were loose enough; I could just pull them to the side. I moved the vibrator around in circles between my folds. I was already wet and swollen. When it hit my spot, the feeling was so overwhelming that I cried out. Scott stroked himself faster. We both moaned as the feelings intensified. Nothing Matt had ever done to me felt this gratifying.

“Look me in the eyes. I want you to watch me, to see what you do to me.” I looked in his eyes and screamed out as my whole body trembled. He threw his head back against the seat and exploded. We both sat there catching our breaths, letting our bodies calm down. I had never experienced such an awesome, whole body intensity before.

Scott wiped himself off with a towel he had in the back seat. I tucked my toy back into my bra, not thinking about how messy it had gotten.

“Doll, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to be able to touch you and taste you.” I’d never heard Scott’s voice so calm and sweet. I could have melted into his seat.

“I can’t wait either.” I didn’t have an original response, so I attempted to make my voice sound sexy. He smiled at me. I reached over and ran my finger down his cheek. His eyes closed and I knew he could feel the same energy I felt. It was overwhelming and addicting.

“Thank you again for your help. I should probably get back.” I wanted him to stop me and tell me to stay but he didn’t.

“Goodnight, doll.”

The cool air hit my legs and arms the moment I stepped out of the car, giving me chills. I climbed back into my window fast, so I could hide under my blankets to stop the chill. Sleep came fast and even though I couldn’t remember my dreams, I was sure they were about Scott.

Katherine

Spring break was very relaxing. Writing had taken a back seat since Dillon had come home, but he was a welcome distraction. The transition from being his sister's annoying best friend to girlfriend had been easy on us both. I didn't know how I contained myself being around him all those years because now I couldn't seem to keep my hands or lips off him.

My mom was still working the mid-shift, leaving plenty of time in the evenings to hang out with Dillon without supervision. Mom trusted him, but she felt the need to sit me down and have “the talk” in greater detail than ever before. She also threatened my life if I got pregnant but then broke down in tears recounting every hardship she'd had trying to raise me alone. I was almost positive I didn't want to get pregnant... ever.

The rain outside was so relaxing, I decided to light some candles and turn off all the lights in the apartment. I warned Dillon I was going to be wearing my PJ's, that way he could wear something comfortable. He told me I didn't have to warn him, he already knew what I would be wearing. I forgot sometimes that he’d known me so long. As long as it didn't bother him, I was going to continue wearing my comfy clothes when we stayed home.

“Alissa's birthday is coming up, what does she have planned?” I asked. Dillon and I were sitting on the couch watching the rainfall.

“Shouldn't you know since you're the best friend?” He pulled my legs to rest on his lap.

“You live with her! It's not like her to not have anything planned out already. She's been distracted with the whole Matt thing.”

“She went shopping with some girl named Mary today. I catch her texting Scott a lot. I don't know what to think about the two of them talking. He just better keep his hands off her.”

Hearing Alissa had gone shopping with Mary made me jealous. She hadn't been acting like herself lately and now, hearing that she’d shopped with someone other than me or her mom, just added to the confusion. I knew I shouldn't feel jealous, but I wasn’t used to any competition for Alissa’s time. We didn’t even talk on the phone much anymore and if we did, I was the one who called first because if I hadn’t, I wasn’t sure how long I would have gone before hearing from her.

“So, what do you want to watch tonight? A girly movie or a love movie?” I stood up to go pick out a DVD but Dillon grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap.

“I don't want to watch a girly movie. Next time we plan to watch a movie, I'll have to bring over a manly one.” He kissed the ticklish spot on my neck.

“What makes you think I want to watch a guy flick?” I wiggled around a little but didn't really try to get out of his grip. I was right where I wanted to be.

“Let's just skip the movie. I don't think I can concentrate on one sitting next to you,” he said between kisses.

“You act like we’ve never watched a movie together.” I slid down the couch but left my legs draped over his lap.

“Yes, but Alissa was always in the room. I spent so many nights wishing I’d held your hand or cuddled with you.”

That took me by surprise. “What are you talking about? You never even noticed me unless we were being annoying.”

He pulled me back up onto his lap, facing him. “I just didn't think I had a chance, so I didn't say anything. I watched you and memorized your manners.”

“Creeper,” I joked. He pulled me closer.

“There were nights when I would stare at my ceiling wondering what you were wearing in the room next to me. I sound pathetic, don't I?” He laughed a little, but I stopped him with my lips.

I put my hands on the sides of his face and looked into his eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

He stood up with me still straddling his hips, laying me down on the floor very carefully. Our lips never stopped touching. His body felt so good on top of mine and I got warm in all the right places. I could feel him getting hard against me while his hand ran up and down my side, all the way down to my lower leg. My legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer.

“If I go too far, you have to tell me.”

I nodded in response, not wanting his lips away from mine. My hips started grinding against him as my pulse leapt. I wanted him to be as close to me as he could possibly get. The silence in the apartment allowed me to hear every moan, which just encouraged me to keep exploring his body with my hands. I moved my hands past his waist a little, touching his bare butt.

He slid his hand up my shirt, softly rubbing his fingertips against my skin. My stomach tightened up, anticipating his hand moving higher.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, breathing against my ear.

I closed my eyes, feeling a tingling sensation between my legs. “Yes,” I barely moaned out.

His hand cupped my breast. My nipples hardened as his fingers rubbed against them through thin material. The tingling sensation increased and I moaned into his ear. He pinched my nipples lightly and my hips bucked up a little in response. My body’s response to his touch was sensational. I wanted more but Dillon stopped, looking down at me with a huge grin.

“Why are you so happy? I'm the one having an out of body experience! Your touch does things to me I never thought I’d experience.”

“I want you to feel good. I want to do things to your body you'll never forget.” He kissed my cheek and sat up. “But we need to take things slow.” I sat up with him. I wanted to make him feel good too, but was too shy to ask how.

I pouted hoping he would just tell me so I wouldn't have to ask.

“Oh, no, not the pout,” he joked.

“I feel guilty because I don't know what you like.”

“You'll learn eventually, but I want us to go slow. I don't want to miss out on any experience with you and that means taking things one step at a time.”

“How’d I get so lucky?” I pushed him back down on the floor, jumped on top and kissed him harder than I had ever kissed him before.

~*~

I called Alissa the moment Dillon left my apartment. My mom wasn’t going to be home for a few more minutes and I wanted to talk candidly with her. I knew there was something going on and I couldn’t seem to stop obsessing about her going shopping with Mary.

“Hey, Kat.” She answered on the third ring and I could tell she wasn't home by all the background noise.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

“I'm with Mary at the gym. We went shopping today and then she decided to start working out with me.”

“The gym is open that late?” I looked at the clock and it was past eleven.

“Not exactly. Scott lets some of us use the gym after hours so we can get personal training time with him. Check this out! One of the guys he's been working with got cornered by some bully at school and he kicked his butt in front of everyone. He got suspended for a couple of days, but he said it was so worth it seeing that jerk’s nose bleed.” I was a little surprised at how happy she sounded while talking about people getting hurt.

“Yeah, that does sound interesting.” I wasn't sure how to respond because I didn't like violence and Alissa had never liked it either. She was changing into someone I didn’t recognize.

“Well, hey, I gotta go.”

“Okay, talk to you later?”

“Sure! Bye!”

I clicked the “end” button and sat back in the chair.

I miss my best friend.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, I went to bed. Sleep would help, and then I could attempt to get Alissa to spend more quality time with me. I had to figure out what was going on with her.

~*~

I’d called Alissa to make sure we were still on for our weekly lunch date. She’d skipped out on the last couple, using ‘too much homework’ as her excuse. When I walked around the corner, toward the front door, I noticed Mary standing outside.

“Hey,” I said, walking towards her.

“Hey. Looks like it’s just me and you. Alissa just texted me that she got hung up and I need to be back to school soon.” She opened the door for me and we both walked in, straight towards the counter.

Disappointment took over my body. Alissa had not only ditched me again but she didn’t even have the courtesy to text me. We ordered coffee and pastries and sat down at my favorite table by the window.

“How’s school going?” I asked, not sure what to talk about since I had never seen her outside of the L.S.A.B. meetings, with the exception of our first meeting at the dress shop.

“Oh you know, the usual BS. I’m starting a cooking class tonight at the community college. I want to get some of my pre-reqs out of the way and it’s an eight-week course.”

“That’s actually a class I should take. I need to learn how to cook.”

“Come with me. We could take the class together.” She said, her eyes lighting up.

I’d only signed up for four classes this semester and it did sound like a class I could benefit from. “I think I will,” I said without much more thought.

“Excellent. So what ever happened with Walt?”

“I decided not to press charges so long as he takes therapy. Going in front of a judge and recounting what happened didn’t sound like something I could handle.” I didn’t explain more because I was still embarrassed. “How is the working out thing with Alissa going?”

“Okay, I guess. I’m not into physical activities but I thought it would be good to maybe lose some of my pudge.”

“Is Scott helping out too?”

“He works with the guys mostly. The defense classes seem to take up a lot of his time.” She stuffed half her pastry in her mouth and took a long swig of her iced coffee. “The guys seem to be really into the training. I hear them calling Scott
badass
all the time. They’re finally starting to stand up for themselves.”

“That’s good.” I didn’t know what else to say in response. “Do you think it’s good that they’re fighting back, though? I mean, it isn’t going to help if they antagonize bullies, is it?”

“I thought about that, too. That’s why I’m just sitting back and watching.” She looked at her cell phone and crumbled her garbage together. “I need to get back to school. See you tonight, right?”

“I’ll be there. Thanks for inviting me.”

~*~

I didn’t even bother to text Alissa to ask her about lunch. I was actually excited to be taking the cooking class. There were plenty of spots open, and my mom was so thrilled I was finally going to learn how not to burn water that she handed over the tuition without a second thought.

Mary saved me a spot next to her. Each station had three chairs, a small sink, lots of pots and a two-burner stove. The teacher walked in, dressed in a crisp white chef’s jacket and a white, tall hat. I smiled at how silly she looked until she instructed us to pull out aprons from the drawer and I realized we would all look silly along with her.

A couple of our classmates were sitting alone in the back. The teacher had them pick an open chair with at least one other student. A really good-looking guy pulled out the seat next to mine and I couldn’t help but smile. We were told to get acquainted and look through our pots and utensils.

“Hi, I’m Mary and this is Kat,” Mary jumped up and introduced us before I had the chance.

“I’m Conner,” he said, shaking Mary’s extended hand, while keeping his eyes on me.

“Nice to meet you,” I said in response.

“Can you cook, because I’m pretty sure neither of us can,” Mary said, nudging me in the side.

I looked back at her and she winked at me. I wasn’t sure what the meaning behind that wink meant. She knew I was seeing someone.

“I can, actually. I would be more than happy to help out,” Conner said, still looking at me.

“Okay, good. Can’t wait to see what you can do,” Mary said.

I stood back and watched them go through the cupboards and drawers, trying to memorize the names Conner was spitting out every time Mary asked him questions. Conner had to be over six-feet and his blond hair shone under the room’s lights. He glanced at me a couple times but I tried to ignore the looks by keeping my eyes on whatever happened to be in his hands.

The teacher gave us all some noodles and sauce, after going over basic boiling instructions. It was refreshing starting in on classwork right away versus listening to a lecture for two hours. Conner took the reigns and walked us through the recipe handed to us.

“Why are you taking this class if you already know how to cook?” I asked.

“I needed an easy A,” he responded, smiling.

Mary pulled on her ponytail and smiled up at him. “Well, I’m sure I can speak for both of us when I say, we’re glad you joined our group.”

“Yes, absolutely,” I agreed. I didn’t know what to think of his constant smiling and was sure he was just friendly, but something told me not to smile back too often.

The teacher came by to taste test our spaghetti, releasing us after handing over a checklist of our completed requirements for the night. Mary told Conner that we would finish cleaning up since he did most of the cooking. He left after giving me one last smile.

“Oh my gosh, he’s so hot,” Mary whispered in my ear the moment Conner left the room.

“I didn’t notice,” I lied.