Denying the Wrong (6 page)

“Yeah, right. Next you’re going to tell me that you didn’t notice him smiling at you throughout class. I can’t wait to see what happens during the next one.”

I punched her lightly on the arm. “You know I have a boyfriend. Why don’t you go after Mr. Hot-totty?”

“Maybe I will, if I can get his eyes off you,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me.

Mary gave me a ride home. I was excited for the next class. She was fun and easy to get along with, and it felt good to get out and do something new. I called Dillon before going to bed, ending my day with a smile.

Alissa

I wasn’t taking school too seriously, and felt as though I was getting a little obsessed with the training, or Scott, or both. He wanted me by his side during the training, asking me my opinions. We hadn’t spent any alone time together, so I still hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him why he was still having me observe more than physically train.

I sat at the kitchen table looking at the community college fall schedule, trying to figure out what classes I should take, when Dillon walked around the corner, whistling.

“I'm shocked you're not out.” He smacked the back of my head with his palm when he passed me.

“Jerk! Have you figured out what you're going to do now that you're back?”

“It's good to see you too, and no.” He stuffed a blueberry muffin into his mouth but continued to talk. “Katherine and I are not together all the time. You know she would really love to hang out with you sometime.”

I interrupted because it felt like he was accusing me of something. “You know she could call me, too. Don't blame me.”

“I wasn't. Chill out. I think I'm going to take a few classes and get a job for a year so I can have some time to figure shit out.” He grabbed the milk out of the fridge and started drinking it from the jug.

“That is so gross! Grow up!” The doorbell rang. “Go make yourself useful and answer the door.”

“Yes, princess.” He walked by me, making sure to hit me over the head as he passed. I looked back down at the schedule, deciding to ignore him for now.

“Hey, Alissa, Matt's mom is here to see you.” He shrugged his shoulders, not sure why she would show up at our house.

I rolled my eyes. Probably another lame attempt to get me back. When I walked past Dillon, I told him, “Go get Mom.” I hated the thought of being mean to his mom because I’d never met her, but this was just getting ridiculous.

The woman standing by the front door was not what I had envisioned at all. She was short and very plump. Her clothes and hair looked like she had just stepped out of a time machine sent from the 1950s.

She looked at me with very sad eyes. I would probably be sad, too, if both the men in my house were alcoholics.

“You must be Alissa?” Her voice was very quiet.

“Yes, I am. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really hope Matt didn't send you over here to persuade me to get back together with him. He needs to get help for his drinking and I'm really not capable of offering anything like that.” I’d hoped she’d walk away but instead, she stared at me for what felt like forever.

Tears started to fall from her eyes. “I didn't think I had any tears left,” she said, pulling out a handkerchief.

“Please don’t be upset. It’s really for the better that we’re no longer together.” I stood there not knowing what to say as she tried to calm herself down. My stomach churned.

“Matt got into trouble and has been in the hospital.”

I couldn't hear her very well and I hoped I had misunderstood what she had just said. “I'm sorry, I didn’t understand. What are you talking about?”

She held her head up higher, like she had to physically force the words out louder. “Matt came home drunk last Friday night. Some friend of his brought him in and the noise woke up my husband. His dad—well, stepdad—was so mad at him for being drunk he tried to beat the alcohol out of him. At least that's what he said when I talked to the police. I got home later that night from work and found Matt on the floor, unconscious. We’d hoped he’d wake up already, but there is so much brain damage. My husband is now in jail and I have no one to help me.” She sank down to the floor and began sobbing into her hands.

My mom rushed past me and knelt down to try to comfort her. I stood there motionless, in shock. I felt Dillon's arm come up around my neck and he tried to pull me into a hug. His touch felt like fire on my skin. I had to get out of there. I pushed him away and ran up to my room. By the time I slammed the door, I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air as my body trembled uncontrollably. There were no tears in my eyes, but they burned. I bent down with my head between my legs, trying to regain control, but it got worse the more I tried to get it together.

Getting out of the house was what I needed to do. I threw my ladder down, ran straight to my car, and started driving, not looking back. I drove to Kat's apartment. She always knew how to calm me down.

I got there fast, thankfully. Her mom's car was parked out front. I knew her mom was probably sleeping, but I knocked on the door as hard as I could until Kat finally opened it.

“Alissa, what the hell is going on?”

“I...I can't breathe.” I fell into Kat's arms. She led me over to the couch and sat down next to me, brushing my hair from my face.

Clinging to Kat calmed me down. I hid my head in her neck, letting the darkness ease the throbbing in my head. Minutes later my head cleared enough to tell her what Matt's mom had said. “She said his dad is the one who hurt him the night Scott dropped him off. Or did she say stepdad? I don’t know!” I had to calm myself down again because my breathing was picking up speed. At this rate, I was going to pass out.

“It's my fault.” I leaned back away from Kat. She was looking at me dumbfounded.

“What's your fault?”

“It's my fault. I should have taken him home myself. I should have taken him to his window and made sure his dad didn't wake up.”

“No, Alissa. It isn't your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen, or that his dad would beat the crap out of him.” Kat brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. Tears started pooling in her eyes and she held her head down.

I wanted to feel upset, but what I felt was anger. “I only assumed his dad had hit him before. I was too afraid to ask him, but part of me knew. I should never have let Scott take him home.”

“Do you think Scott had anything to do with it?” Kat asked. I almost laughed because she had to be joking. Her hand covered her mouth and her eyes got wide, looking like she wished she could take the words back.

“Why would you even say that?” I jumped up and paced back and forth, not able to sit still any longer. “Scott didn't make his dad beat him up. Scott has always been there to help him. Why would you think that?”

“Alissa, ever since Scott became a part of our lives, people we know have been hurt or are dead. It just feels like more than a coincidence.”

I sat down next to her and grabbed the sides of her face. “Don't ever repeat that, Kat. You don't know what you're saying. Scott has done nothing but help kids out. He doesn't have to give talks or help them exercise, but he does, and on his own time, too.” She looked at me in fear. I let go of her face and started pacing again. “He gives them the physical and mental strength to stand up for themselves.”

“It’s more like he’s creating an army. You said yourself some of these guys have started fighting back against the bullies. How is that making them any better?” Kat asked, more tears pooling in her eyes.

Why did I even come here? She doesn't even know Scott. I need to talk to him.

I left without looking back at her or saying another word.

~*~

I drove to the gym, not knowing where else to go. I didn't know Scott's schedule, but he seemed to be there all the time.

The front desk person called him right away. She must have noticed the urgency in my voice. He was in his office and told her I could let myself in. I didn't even thank her before turning and practically running down the hall to his office. Scott was standing there holding the door open for me and I had to pause for a second so I could appreciate the view. Even though I was feeling panicky, he surprised me by how gorgeous he was. He smiled, but I couldn't force one in return.

I sat down on the couch not knowing what to say. He sat down on the opposite side, as usual. “Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I need to play the guessing game?” I appreciated that he was trying to make me smile but I wasn't in the mood.

“Did you hear what happened to Matt?”

“No.” He sat back and crossed his arms.

“His dad beat him up so bad after you dropped him off, he’s in the hospital.” I wanted to know why he didn't take better care of Matt, but I didn't know how to ask.

He groaned and rubbed his temple.

“Let me tell you a story. When I was in middle school, I was a skinny kid with no athletic skills whatsoever. I was forced to take a weight training class with a lot of football players. The teacher was the football coach and he taught the class the same way he coached—tough and mean. All the guys used to give me a hard time and he just turned his head the other way. I kept working out during school and over the summer. By the time I hit high school, I was just as bulky as the guys that teased me. They left me alone. Actually, they tried to convince me to play sports.”

Scott stood up and walked over to his little fridge. He pulled out two bottles of water and handed me one.

“There was this group of kids that hated the jocks as much as I did. I started hanging out with them during school. One day I convinced them that we should go crash the party I’d heard the jocks planning. I figured if we gave them enough time to get drunk, we could easily rough them up. My plan worked until one of the guys I was with pulled out a knife and stabbed two of the jocks until they were dead.” He took some sips of water.

My mouth dropped open. I was shocked Scott would ever associate with someone who had the nerve to stab someone, let alone kill two people.

“If the jocks hadn't been drunk, they would have easily been able to take my group out, but fate had different plans for them. I couldn't feel sorry for the dead guys because I don't feel sorry for people who make bad decisions.”

“So, what you mean is, if Matt hadn't been drunk, he would have been able to fight off his dad? The alcohol decided his fate for him?” The thought made me feel better and less responsible.

“The choices he made were his. He's lucky he didn't hurt or kill someone while he was driving his car drunk. What happened is a lot better than killing yourself or killing someone else. Now his mom has to deal with it. Very selfish, don’t you think?” He watched me for a reaction.

I nodded in agreement. “So, the reason you decided to help out kids that have been bullied is because you were that kid once, too?”

“You are correct. Karma takes care of things in the end, but hopefully I'll give someone the power to at least take care of themselves in the meantime.”

I drank some water and sat there, pondering what he’d just explained. I wanted to curl up in a ball on his lap and let him hold me for hours. Scott would protect me if I ever needed saving.

Scott held his hand out to me and I took it. The electricity flowed between us and I felt momentarily happy, forgetting about everything. He looked down at our hands and smiled.

“Now that we’re alone, can you explain to me why you want me to observe the group during training?” I asked, looking hesitantly up into his eyes instead of shying away like I normally did.

He let go of my hand and sat back down on the couch. “I need another set of eyes to watch what they can do and I want you to stay by my side. Can you blame me for that?”

“I’m in the group because you want me by your side?” I stood tall, not breaking eye contact. I liked that he wanted me close but I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle my own training with the group. I still wasn’t confident in myself but he didn’t need to know that.

He paused, his lip lifting into a smirk. “You look sexy when you get feisty. I don’t want you training with them. No other guy should touch you but me.” His smirk turned into a genuine smile. “And it’s not because I don’t think you can handle it. I have plans for the group and if you help me keep an eye on them, it would help me out. I apologize for not speaking to you about it first. You’re obviously taking it the wrong way.”

I relaxed and sat back down. “Next time just tell me what’s going on. What kind of plans are you talking about?”

“I’m not ready to share that yet because I want to be damn sure I can trust everyone first.”

Before I could question him further, my cell phone rang from inside my pocket. I didn't want the conversation to end, but I was sure my mom had noticed by now that I’d snuck out my window and was freaking out. I looked at the screen, relieved to see it was Dillon.

“Hey.”

“Where the hell are you?” He didn’t sound happy.

“I'm at the gym talking to Scott. I'll be home soon.”

“Mom is freaking out and so is Katherine.”

“I'm leaving right now.” I ended the call and gave Scott an apologetic smile. “I have to go.”

“I'll see you soon.” His smile was so warm, my heart melted.

“I think I may love you,” I said. The words just came out without any thought. My heart stopped the moment I said it, fearing he would run away.

He pulled me in for a hug. “Don't say that until you know.”

The moment I walked out of his office, my body felt cold. I wanted to stay with him but knew I needed to get home and apologize to my mom.

I almost called Kat on my drive home but decided not to. What she’d said about Scott really hurt. She didn't know him like I did and should at least trust me to make responsible decisions. I knew she’d been jealous when I was with Matt and maybe she was jealous of Scott, too. She should’ve known she couldn't have me to herself forever.