Denying the Wrong (9 page)

I reached around and unclasped my bra, but he told me to stop. “I want to watch. Go slow.” He sat back down on the couch, removing the rest of his clothes and shoes.

I stood there in front of him in only my underwear. I had never truly felt sensual before, but watching him look at me, I felt undeniably sexy. I pulled my bra straps down one at a time and threw it off to the side. My hands began pulling my panties down, but he stopped me again.

“No, I want to remove those.” He stood up and got on his knees in front of me. He pulled one side down a little and kissed my hip. Then the other. Slowly he slid them down, leaving kisses all the way down to my ankles. My eyes rolled into the back of head from the pleasure. I stepped out of them and kicked off my shoes.

Standing back up he looked right into my eyes and said, “You are so beautiful, doll.”

He turned me around so my back was pressed up against his front. I could feel his hard cock pressed against the small of my back. I had seen it before but feeling it against me made me petrified and unbearably excited, all at once. Oh my God, this is really happening.

He traced my neck and shoulders with his tongue while his hands reached around and cupped my breasts. I didn't know how much more I could take before I begged him to be inside me. My body responded to his touch by pressing back into him and rubbing against him. He moaned into my ear and I knew he felt the same frustration. I wanted him inside me now.

“Do you want me?” he whispered.

“Yes,” I moaned back.

“How bad do you want me?” His hand moved down and he rubbed my throbbing clit with his thumb.

I lost control. “Bad. I want you so bad.” I fell down on the couch, pulling him down on top of me. My left leg draped over the back and my right wrapped around his waist. He kissed me hard until my lips became numb.

I reached down and rubbed his tip around in my wetness. “Get a condom and hurry up.” I was running out of breath from his kisses.

“We don't need one. I had a vasectomy.”

I stopped kissing him for a moment so I could make sure I’d heard him correctly. “Wait, you what?”

“I don't want kids, so I had a vasectomy.”

“How do you know you don't want kids? Like, ever?” We had never had that talk, but it surprised me a little that he would have already made that decision at his age.

“Never. Why would I want to bring kids into this world?” He waited for my response before continuing.

Now is not the time to think about kids, Alissa!

“Um, okay.” I pulled his lips back down to mine and decided to talk later. Right now I just wanted to feel him…

Shit!

I pushed him back. “I know I can’t get pregnant but with all the other stuff, I would really just feel more comfortable using a condom.” I stared at him, hoping I hadn’t just ruined the moment.

He smiled at me, walked over to his desk and pulled out a condom from his drawer. He put it on as he walked back to me. I was about to say “thank you” but he fell back on top of me, covering his mouth with mine.

I could feel his tip at my opening. Thrusting my hips up, I forced him inside me. My lips separated from his as a gasp escaped me.

His body arched up while he moaned. “Doll, you feel so good.”

I watched his expression get more and more intense. His eyes stayed closed as he grunted. Reaching up to bring his lips back down to mine, he shook his head but increased his speed.

Every thrust made my body clench in pleasure. He took complete control over me, and my body responded on its own. The pleasure was so intense, it almost hurt. I came apart under him over and over, until he finally released into me.

He rolled onto the floor, leaving me on the couch. I couldn't move. My muscles were so tired, but I had never felt more relaxed. I listened as our breaths evened out, but when I began to get chilly I reached down for my clothes.

“No, don't get dressed yet. I want to eat dinner together, naked.” Scott’s eyebrows wiggled a little and he smiled.

“Well, I certainly hope the food isn't hot.” I reached my hand out to help him up off the floor.

Dinner consisted of pizza and breadsticks. I was disappointed the elaborate display on the table was for pizza, until I realized it was from my favorite place. I don't know how he remembered me telling him my favorite pizza place. I was starving, and ate more than I should have, but I wasn't going to worry about it. Scott definitely ate a lot, too.

We sat on his couch, listening to the music while he gave me a foot rub. We ended up making out a while before I left. He wanted to go for round two, but I knew my body couldn't handle it. I had a hard enough time walking back out to my car.

It had been a perfect night with a perfect man.

Katherine

Alissa had to cancel our Tuesday lunch, so I called Mary to keep me company. I never saw her talking to anyone else, and it made me wonder who she hung out with before she met Alissa. I was too chicken to ask, though. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Mary surprised me when I walked up to our meeting spot before lunch. She wasn't alone.

“Kat, I hope you don't mind, I brought Danny here to have lunch with us.” Mary wiggled her eyebrows at me and I almost burst into laughter. Danny was a very skinny, awkward-looking guy and he towered over both of us.

“Sure. Of course. Let's go eat, I'm starving.” Just as I said that, a group of the D.A.'s walked by. I hadn’t seen any of them since my last day of high school.

“Yeah, you gotta go feed that huge ass!” I'm not even sure who said that, but they all laughed in unison. I know my butt is plump, but Dillon never seemed to mind.

“Oh, screw off,” Mary yelled but they kept laughing.

I stood still, waiting for them to go into the restaurant next door. Mary watched me like I might break. Danny patted my shoulder.

“Let's go. They all suck.” I looked up at him, a little taken back that he was being so nice to me after only knowing me a minute. His smile was very comforting. Meeting genuinely nice people was rare and I couldn't wait to hear how she met him.

“We got paired up at one of the Friday night trust exercises. We both laughed because I'm short and he's so much taller than everyone, it seemed like a joke that Scott would pair us up.”

“And...” I wanted to get to the good part where she realized she was into him. I could tell she was crushing on him by the way she looked at him with star-struck eyes.

“What?” They both looked at me like I grew a second head.

“When did you realize you wanted to hang out more?” I looked at Mary hoping she would just admit they like each other.

“We go to the same school. Why wouldn't we hang out more?” Mary asked, looking lost.

“Oh. Of course.” She's so weird. “Danny, when did you start going to the L.S.A.B. meetings?”

“A couple of weeks ago. My friend from church goes, and he said I had to get involved because he overheard some of the guys talking about how that Scott guy is turning them into heroes.”

“Heroes?” Mary and I asked at the same time.

“Yeah, you know, like the guys that protect the girl and then the girl falls in love with the guy?” He winked at Mary, smiling like a goofball.

What made me want to fall off my chair laughing was that I thought he believed it to be true.

“He’s also helping me with a new workout program. I want to get into skinny jeans by next winter and he wants abs,” Mary said.

I hadn’t noticed Mary scarfing down her food once today. I wanted to hug her and tell her how proud I was that she was making a change, but I didn’t want to embarrass her.
I hope she’s not doing this just for that asshole, Conner.

“Well, that sounds like fun.” I picked up my trash and threw away half my food.
My ass doesn't need that much.
“It was great to meet you, Danny. I'll see you tonight, Mary!”

~*~

I made sure to get to class early enough to catch Mary before we went inside. We hadn’t talked about the conversation I’d had with Conner, and I’d wanted to make sure she was okay seeing him in class, or we’d need to change partners.

She waved when she noticed me standing by the classroom door. I didn’t know her well enough to tell if she was truly in a good mood or hiding behind the smile.

“What are you doing standing out here?” she asked.

“I wanted to talk to you before going inside. Are you okay being around Conner tonight?”

“Let’s just pretend I don’t know about the conversation, okay? I’m not going to let it bother me.”

“But, he’s such an ass. You don’t want me to say anything?” I knew I probably couldn’t get the nerve, but I could at least give him the silent treatment.

“Nope. Let’s go.” She linked her arm through mine and we walked into the classroom. Conner was sitting at our station, smiling at me. I wanted to punch him.

“Good evening, ladies. Are you ready to get hot and sweaty tonight?” he asked, still looking at me.

“Excuse me?” If he thought I was going to flirt back after he said that about my friend, he was surly mistaking.

“We’re cooking potatoes tonight, and at least one of us needs to stand over the boiling water, stirring. It’s gets hot.”

I blushed, feeling stupid for thinking he was flirting. He must have taken my blush in the wrong way, though, because he winked at me.

“You two peel. I’ll stir,” Mary chimed in. She handed me my white apron and began pulling out pots. She hadn’t said a word to Conner, but he wasn’t paying attention to her.

The teacher walked in and we all got to work. Mary walked up to the front to grab the instructions, leaving me alone with Conner.

“I tried to call you back a couple times but you didn’t answer. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings about what I said. I think it’s obvious I wanted to ask you out, not her.”

“I have a boyfriend, Conner. Even someone like you should know that I wouldn’t go out with you.”

“What do you mean someone like me?” he pouted.

“Someone who, I’m sure, flirts with everyone. Someone who, knowing a girl has a boyfriend, still gives her your number.” I pulled a knife out and began peeling the pile of potatoes on the counter, trying not to look at him. I hated confrontations. I looked at the front of the room, hoping Mary would hurry up, but she was talking to the teacher.

“I’ve seen you check me out. A girl who is happy in her relationship and is getting everything she needs doesn’t look at other guys the way you look at me.” He placed his hand over my hand that held the knife.

I looked up at him, giving him my best glare, yanking my hand away. “Excuse me?” I almost laughed, asking that. “I am happy, and my boyfriend gives me everything I need. Do not ever talk about him like that.”

His eyes stayed locked on mine. It felt like hours passed as we stared each other down. He pursed his lips together and lifted an eyebrow. “Okay. Truce?”

I wanted him to leave me alone but him asking for a truce felt like a trap, not an end to his intrusion. Not seeing any other options, I said, “Truce.”

Conner grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug. My initial reaction was to punch him in the gut but my hand reached up and slapped his face instead. He backed up, not saying a word. I looked around to see if anyone else had witnessed. No one had.

We both started in on peeling, not saying anything else. Mary finally came back, distracting us from the silence with her instructions. Conner didn’t open his mouth once during the remainder of class.

~*~

I had my first nightmare about Walt that night. First I saw Conner and he was pulling me into his chest. I tried to let go but he held on tight. Once I was able to look up at his face, it was Walt restraining me.

I woke up in a heap of sweat. After all this time, why would I just now have nightmares? I knew the answer, and his name was Conner. I needed to get away from him, and if that meant dropping the class, then so be it.

Alissa

I decided to skip training this week and spend some good quality shopping time by myself. I drove to the other side of town to shop at another mall, hoping I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. Feeling as though I lived in athletic wear, I decided to try on some business-type clothing.

Looking in the mirror at myself, it dawned on me how little time I was spending on my future. Being obsessed with Scott was consuming all my time and energy. I still believed in the cause he stood for, but it wasn’t what I wanted to dedicate my life fighting for. I wasn’t really contributing to anything other than what Scott told me to do. Before deciding to bail out completely, I decided I would try getting more physically involved in the training. I wasn’t positive if Scott would stay by my side if I wasn’t involved in the group, and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take just yet.

I got a text from Scott an hour into shopping.

Scott: Where are you?

Me: I needed a break. Shopping.

Scott: Well, I need you here.

What was I supposed to say to that without making him mad?

Me: Can I just have one day off?

Scott: No, I need you here.

Me: Okay, be there in thirty.

I gave in even after the mental talk I’d just given myself. He had a power over me that I couldn’t explain. It was a fear—not that he would hurt me—that I might lose him. He gave me a purpose outside of my friendship with Kat, and I needed that purpose right now. My plans for college and the future were not turning out the way I had planned, and I was scared.

Feeling as though I was in a rush, I drove straight to the gym, speeding. I grabbed the workout clothes I stored in my trunk and ran through the front, straight to the bathroom to change.

Everyone was in the back room, already in the middle of practice. Scott was working with Walt. I sat down in my designated chair, watching them throw each other around. An intercom page came from overhead asking Scott to go to the front desk. He looked irritated, walking away from Walt. Scott noticed me sitting down and smiled before walking out the door.

Walt began walking toward me. The reasons Scott had let him back in didn’t make me any less angry at him. He looked thinner. His muscles were more defined but his face looked unsure as he sauntered right in front of me.

“Hey,” he said, looking uncomfortable as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Hey.”

“Look, I know this isn’t the best place to apologize, but I’m really sorry about what happened and I promise it will never happen again,” he said, keeping his eyes anywhere but on me.

“You’re right, this isn’t the best place to talk about this but I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel comfortable talking with you about what happened.”

“Fair enough.” He stood next to me, watching everyone practice.

Scott hadn’t come back yet, and I felt uncomfortable sitting down while Walt stood next to me. I needed to get out the tension built up in my muscles. I needed to hit something and the someone I wanted to hit was right next to me. “Let’s go over there and you can show me the moves you guys were working on.”

Walt looked at me like I had gone insane but nodded seconds later. He led me to the back corner and began showing me the defensive moves. I fought with all the energy I had, trying to get out of his grip. I was able to take him down a couple of times.

Scott walked up to us after I victoriously put Walt in an arm-lock he wasn’t able to get out of. I looked up at Scott, expecting to see pride in my accomplishment, but I was met with angry eyes.

“Alissa, go upstairs. Now.” His eyes were locked on Walt, not me.

Walt broke his stare to look over at me with just as much confusion on his face as I felt.
What the hell?

I walked up the stairs to his office, each step feeling like I had fifty pound weights around my ankles. The door at the bottom of the stairs flew open and slammed shut. I ran up the rest of the way. I walked to the chair sitting in front of the desk, sat down with a straight back, and waited. After Scott closed the door, he stood, watching me. Our breaths were the only sounds I could hear.

“I thought I made it clear that I was to be the only one touching you,” he said. His fists balled up at his side, his stance looked like he was ready to pounce.

I turned my head to look at him. I wasn’t sure why he was overreacting, and it was evident by the sarcasm in my voice when I replied, “Walt wasn’t touching me for pleasure. I asked him to show me the moves I had missed because I was late.”

“I would have showed you the moves.”

“You left the room. He was the only one not working with anyone else. Why are you so upset?” I threw my arms in the air and stood up.

“I’m asking you to follow my directions. Is that so hard?” He took one step closer, his fists still balled up against his side.

“It’s hard when I don’t know what the hell you want me to do. I haven’t been practicing any moves. All I do is sit there or walk around following you.”

He closed the gap between us and crashed his lips against mine. I felt angry that he wasn’t answering my questions but his lips quickly distracted me. His hand reached down my pants. I gasped into his mouth when his middle finger began rubbing circles around my sweet spot. He rubbed it hard and fast. All my muscles clenched up, intensifying my anger but in a delicious way. Only a minute passed before I became undone. I moaned loudly as his lips left mine.

Pulling away, he looked down, his eyes still full of rage. “I asked you to stay by my side. Do you not trust me?”

My energy was depleted. I didn’t hesitate answering, even though I had so many more questions. “I trust you.”

His hands and shoulders relaxed. A small smile appeared, telling me he was pleased with my answer. His large hands ran down my back, giving me chills. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch. He kissed the top of my head and walked over to his desk.

“Now, going forward, if you have questions for me, say something. Don’t do things that you know I would disapprove of just to prove a point.”

I took the opportunity to ask him about something I had overheard Walt say the other night. “I heard someone mention a ‘team’ and was wondering what that was?”

His face went stone cold. I almost couldn't recognize him behind his stare. “Who did you hear that from?”

My stomach tensed up, not expecting this reaction. I decided to be honest instead of lying my way through this one. He watched me walk over to the chair and take a seat. “I overheard you talking to Walt the night of my birthday. I just caught the end and wasn't trying to listen, but I waited around the corner so I didn't interrupt you two.”

His tense jaw relaxed, but his expression was still intimidating. His emotions were giving me whiplash. “I have set up what we're calling 'street teams' around some of the members that have reported being harassed. They stay out of sight but keep an eye on whomever they are assigned to. We don't talk about it because it's not something I want to advertise, and I certainly don't want to bring unwelcome attention to anyone who is being watched over.”

“So, it's like a bodyguard service?” After his reaction, I thought for sure I wouldn’t like his answer.

“In a way, yes.” He leaned forward against the desk. “Please do not repeat that to anyone. I choose special people that I've trained myself to be on that team.”

“Then how did Walt get on the team?” I almost laughed, but he didn't have an amused expression.

“He's a team player. I gave him a second chance because he follows orders without asking why.” His tone was short. “You said you trust me, so why are you questioning my judgment?”

“I’m not questioning you directly, but why don't you just let these people take care of themselves? I never imagined anyone would need actual bodyguards hanging around, just in case.”

“Next time you're sitting in a meeting, look around at the people near you. They are nothing like you, Alissa. They have issues, and they are not strong enough to protect themselves against the evil people who just want to make others’ lives miserable.” He hit his fist against his desk and I jumped up from my chair.

“I didn't mean to get you upset.” I took a few steps back, looking at the door in case I needed to escape. It dawned on me that I really didn’t know Scott, and hadn’t been around him enough to know how short his fuse was.

“I need to go.” He walked out of the room. I hadn't realized I’d been holding my breath, but I was scared. Scott, this man who just a few days ago made me feel like a princess, looked like he could kill someone.

I waited a few minutes and walked out. No one was in the room anymore. I grabbed my stuff and left through the back. I ran to my car and locked the doors once I got inside. My nerves hurt from trying to keep them under control. The ride back to my house felt like it took forever. I just wanted to get in my room, take a shower and hide under my covers.

How could he do that to my body and then get so mad that he leaves me alone in the room?

~*~

Dillon poked his head into my room the next morning, startling me. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said with a huge smile.

“Yes, I’m fully awake, thanks to you.”

“Get up and get ready. You’re coming with me to have lunch with Kat.” He stuck his tongue out at me and shut the door.

I groaned, loudly, stating my disapproval of getting out of bed. Spending some time with Kat actually sounded like a good idea since I didn’t want to go to the gym.
The gym and my best friends are my only options? I really need to get more hobbies.

Dillon threw the door open, again, scaring the crap out of me. “I heard that, by the way. You should invite Scott.”

My head snapped up and I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. “What?”

“Invite Scott. Or are you keeping him all to yourself for a reason? Is there something wrong with him that you’re afraid we’ll make fun of?”

I threw my pillow at him, missing by a couple feet. “No and no. Maybe you shouldn’t go either, so I can spend some time with Kat.”

“Not gonna happen. Now get up.” He shut the door again and I got up quickly and locked it. I didn’t want him barging in while I was changing. I’d taken a shower the night before and felt too lazy to take another. My hair looked good in a bun and all I had to do was throw on some makeup.

Dillon drove us over to Kat’s to pick her up. I stayed in the car, not only because of their typical greeting, but because I couldn’t see them greet each other and not feel envious. Scott never greeted me that way. The way Dillon looked at Kat, like he had never seen anyone so beautiful, I wondered if anyone would ever look at me that way.

“Hey,” Kat said, hugging me when I got out of the car.

I hugged her back, not wanting to let go. I missed spending time with her. “Hey. I’m going to get into the back so you two love birds can hold hands or whatever.” I smiled at her, getting one in return. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so happy.

We drove five minutes to the pizza place down the street.

“I could have walked here, ya know,” Kat told Dillon.

“Never,” he responded placing a kiss on her cheek before getting out of the car.

“Please refrain from the lovey stuff while I’m present,” I said, rolling my eyes. They both smiled at me before sneaking in one last on-purpose-in-my-face kiss.

The pizza joint was not at all classy. White booths lined the wall with large windows while the open kitchen took up the rest of the space. We sat in the middle, dodging a couple kids running around. A waitress walked up the moment our butts hit the bench.

“Dillon?” the waitress asked.

“Amy. Hey, how are you?”

“Good. I haven’t seen you in forever. What have you been up to?” She slid in next to me on the bench, ignoring me and Kat.

“Oh, just working and school. You look great.” She twirled her hair around her finger, looking at Dillon with dreamy eyes and a huge smile.

“Thanks. Hey, have you met my sister, Alissa?”

I glanced at Kat before I answered. She had her head down. “Nice to meet you.” I kept my tone even, knowing this little encounter was making my best friend uncomfortable.

Amy didn’t even glance at me. “Are you back for good now? We should go out sometime.”

Dillon reached for Kats hand. “I’ve been a little busy. My girlfriend here is very demanding with my time.”

Amy’s face dropped but she recovered and was back to twirling her hair within a second. “Well, if you change your mind, I’m sure you still have my number.” She stood up and pulled her order pad out of her apron. “What can I get you?” Her eyes stayed on Dillon even though Kat and I were placing the order.

She had better back off my brother.