Designing Berlin (5 page)

“I…I…” What could she say?

Matty smiled sadly. He knew it was too sudden, but he wanted to make sure she understood his mindset. He hadn’t really expected her to fall into his arms, not now anyway. But every second she was snowed in here he would do everything in his power to prove he was earnest. He didn’t need any more time; his heart already knew what it wanted. While he looked forward to learning everything there was about Berlin, Matty was certain she was the one for him. Now all he had to do was make her see that too.

“I don’t expect you to answer now,” Matty told her, moving to pick up the discarded clothes. “In any event, these are for you. I can’t imagine any other woman wearing them.”

He turned and made his way down the staircase, knowing she would follow. He was swamped with disappointment. It had been too much far too soon. He shouldn’t have laid all that on her. Not many people went with their gut, their spirit as his grandmother had called it. He had spent too long trying to ignore his own, so he was not surprised by Berlin’s shell-shocked reaction. There was such a strong spirit within her; he could feel it. He just wished she was more attuned to that part of herself.

Chapter Six

Two weeks. Berlin had been trapped in the cabin with one hell of a designer who refused to be bullied, budged, or cajoled into designing for her company for two weeks. It hadn’t exactly been a hardship. While the storm raged outside, Matty had kept her more than just a little warm. His kisses seared her very soul and set fire to her body. Plus, he fed her. He was a wiz in the kitchen, which was a definite plus because Berlin couldn’t cook at all. The man had done everything right; still, she was not ready to make a commitment.

To be honest, she couldn’t really say she didn’t know him, not anymore. Being snowed in with little to do but talk, they had shared their lives from beginning to present. She had held back nothing and she was reasonably sure he hadn’t, either. It wasn’t all that strange they talked about practically everything. There had been an immediate connection, and they had already been intimate. Still, there were bits of herself Berlin just couldn’t surrender. She had been on her own for so long. She wanted to believe, a part of her needed to believe, but she could not let go.

Watching Matty tow her rental up to the front of his home, a deep melancholy seized Berlin. The roads were clear; the phone lines were up. She’d been able to book a flight back to Atlanta. Really, she should be heading to two other destinations, but she just didn’t have the heart. With any luck, Betty would be recovered and she could go. Berlin had been away from the office too long; paperwork was no doubt piling up.

Funny, she didn’t feel much like going back to work. Before this little episode, work had meant everything to her. Now it seemed so empty and pointless. What was she working for? What was her ultimate goal? She had achieved what she had always believed was her biggest dream; now what? She wanted to stay here, in the mountains of West Virginia in a cabin the size of a mini mansion. Okay, maybe not here in the mountains. She was the consummate city girl after all. She did know wherever she was, she wanted Matthew Hartsfield to be there with her. Sometime during the last two weeks she had fallen hard, probably from the moment she’d opened her eyes in the bathtub.

So why couldn’t she give him a chance? What was it that kept her from opening up and giving this thing, whatever it was, an opportunity to happen?

“Because you’re afraid,” she told herself softly.

Letting go meant letting someone in for the first time in her life. She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Perhaps, if they’d had more time. She just couldn’t take a leap like that after two weeks. She had worked too hard to get to where she was just to give it all up for a man, no matter how attracted to him she was, or how he treated her like a queen. Damn, leaving here would be the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she had to do it.

Matty could feel her eyes on him as he checked out the car. He hoped against hope there would be something, anything, wrong with the vehicle, but there wasn’t. There was nothing he could do to keep her here; he had to let her leave. His entire being was screaming at him to make her stay, or follow her to her destination, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t design for her company or any other company. He’d been down that road and it had choked off his soul. He wouldn’t travel down it again.

Not even for her?

The question mocked him, tormented him. As much as Matty would love to swallow his pride and just go with her, he knew he would be killing something inside himself that he had just gotten back. Then what use would he be to her? Would he end up blaming her? Possibly. He didn’t want that, but he didn’t want this, either.

The unasked question rattled in his mind even after he packed Berlin an extra suitcase full clothes made by his hands. He insisted on driving her down the mountain to the airport himself. He simply towed her rental under the guise of not being too sure of the car.

They both knew it was a lie.

He wanted every last second he could have. Because he couldn’t walk her all the way to the gate, they lingered as long as they could outside the security checkpoint. They were cutting it close, but he found he couldn’t let go of her hand until the last possible moment.

“Call me as soon as you get in,” Matty instructed her, pulling her into his arms for what looked like the last time. “Don’t make me come down there.”

Berlin blinked back tears, tears of regret for what she could not say, tears for what they could’ve had. It would do no good to shed them now. She wasn’t sure she would call him. What would be the point? His life was here; her life was elsewhere. Why drag it out?

“I’ll call.”

They both knew it was a lie.

Days later, looking out over the Atlanta cityscape, Berlin still couldn’t shake her doldrums. Floor-to-ceiling windows ran the length of her office—kind of like the windows in Matty’s work studio. Usually her office was awash with natural light, but today there was very little. The sky was gray and overcast, matching the way she felt inside. She wished it would just rain already.

Berlin had made a mistake. She knew she couldn’t stay in West Virginia, but she should’ve have opened up her heart and home to Matty. Maybe he couldn’t design for
Femme
, but he could design for himself. She could be his anchor, his muse. She noticed all the clothes he had sent with her fit as if they had been made just for her. The man had a deep understanding of a real woman’s body. He made clothes for curves. Creating for the stick figures in Los Angeles must have killed him.

“Oh, man, I screwed up,” she moaned, resting her head against the cold window.

Files waited on her desk, but she just didn’t have the energy to tackle the growing list of tasks she had to do. Betty, bless her, hadn’t asked, but went about the business of covering her boss’s ass since Berlin just couldn’t shake her depression. For the first time ever, Berlin was seriously considering giving it all up and heading out to the country. She might be miserable, but she would miserable in love, which was a far, far cry from what she was feeling now.

Even as Berlin thought it, she knew she wouldn’t do it. She had worked too hard to get where she was.

“You look how I feel.”

Berlin’s head snapped up and her heart began to race. Matty was here! She was too scared to turn around, afraid that he wasn’t real. She felt his comforting body heat as he moved up behind her. She closed her eyes as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her flush against him. Never had a man’s arms felt so good, so right. Her body relaxed, recognizing its perfect counterpart.

“I missed you, baby,” Matty murmured against her ear as he placed gentle, nipping kisses along her neck back up to her ear. He might have been gentle, but Berlin could feel the burning need right underneath the surface. Her body immediately went on fire as a result. “You didn’t call, sweetheart.”

She couldn’t answer, not when one hand was snaking up her skirt, a skirt he’d made, and the other was gradually making its way under her blouse to cup her breast. She stifled a moan at the sharp pinch to her nipple. Liquid heat flooded her core, her hips moving back on their own volition, her butt rubbing against his rigid length. Lord, how she missed this. The man could play her body like a fiddle, making her sing a tune of his choosing.

“I told you I would come looking for you, didn’t I, sweetheart?”

Berlin nodded her head weakly; she was too awash with sensations to form coherent words. When his thick finger reached her clit, rubbing in firm circles, she whimpered.

“Please, Matty.” She needed him right now. Forget foreplay, she wanted him buried deep inside her. She moved back restlessly, encouraging him to get on with it.

With a low growl, Matty tore off her skimpy underwear. He couldn’t wait; he had waited long enough as it was.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he apologized even as he released his aching cock from the confines of his slacks and drove inside her without further preliminaries.

Thankfully, she was ready, all hot, wet, and welcoming. He held himself perfectly still for a minute, relishing the feel of her tightness pulsating around him. It felt like coming home.

“Put your hands against the window,” Matty instructed, praying the glass was reinforced. He couldn’t wait.

Berlin complied immediately, arching her back and bending her knees just a bit to allow him easy access. She couldn’t hold back a cry of pure joy as he powered in and out of her, commanding her body with his own. She found herself shoving backwards with her hips as he drove steadily forward, completing her, becoming one mind, body, and soul. How could she ever have thought she could survive without this completion? Without him?

“I don’t want to live without you, Berlin,” Matty told her somewhere between a groan and a growl, all deliciously deep and hot. “I won’t do it. Tell me I don’t have to. Tell me we’ll work it out.”

“Yes,” Berlin whimpered, giving him all she had. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Her orgasm caught her completely off guard, stealing her very breath. Her mouth opened in a wordless scream, and her body shook with the force of her release. She felt his body tighten along with hers, felt his essence deep inside her womb. She never imagined something could ever feel so right, so meant to be.

*****

“I don’t want you to design for
Femme
.” Berlin didn’t bring the subject until much later, when they were in bed at her house. Looking around she noticed how cold and impersonal everything seemed. There was none of the warm, homey feeling that his cabin had.

“I am willing to try,” Matty told her, pulling her close.

“I don’t want that,” she told him firmly. “In fact, I have an idea that would work out for both of us.”

Epilogue

“Where do you want me to start setting up the fall collection, Boss?” Betty chirped, carrying in a load of leather and suede shirts.

Berlin looked around the store with pride. She and Matty had opened
Americana
less than a year ago, and already they were making a tidy profit. It looked like they would be able to open a new store sooner than originally anticipated.

“Are we putting the fall stuff out already?” Matty asked coming from around the counter to rub his wife’s swollen belly. His chest swelled with pride as the baby kicked in acknowledgment of his father.

Berlin leaned back against her husband, loving the way his arms felt around her.

“It’s August, we’re already late,” she reminded him gently.

Matty’s only response was to kiss his woman deep and long. He would never tire of kissing her, loving her. He’d been so afraid that long-ago day in her office, that she would reject him. Not that he would’ve ever let her go; he would follow this woman to the ends of the earth if necessary. But she had said yes, making his life complete. It had only taken them three months working for
Femme
to see he would never be happy there. He was humbled by her suggestion they open their own store. He hadn’t thought it would work, but creating with her as his muse had turned out to be the best thing he’d ever done. Well, that and marrying his angel.

“Jeez, get a room, why don’t you,” Betty chided without any real heat.

Berlin was so happy and humbled Betty had offered to leave
Femme
to help them open
Americana
. Luckily, Matty had more than enough money, so Betty didn’t take a pay cut; but still, Berlin had insisted on giving her a piece of the enterprise. Leaving an established company was a huge leap of faith, and Berlin was humbled by Betty’s confidence.

“I think we should go home,” Matty agreed, his voice becoming husky with need. “I think I need to take some more measurements for our new maternity line.”