Devoured (14 page)

“Sorry,” I say. “I was just thinking her visiting Luke’s was a good sign.”

“A very good sign!” Luke adds. “If I explain the circumstances, maybe Nona will tell me what went on.”

“Oh my God, that would be great, and it would totally help us figure out the next step, and—”

“People!” Nicki yells again.

I turn to see Nicki staring at us in utmost disbelief, her jaw clenched in anger. “You brought me here to test out Luke’s
ghost power
—which, to be really honest, I’m wishing hadn’t worked—and now you’re acting like I’m not even
here
!”

Fresh tears tumble down Nicki’s cheeks and I feel like an absolute creep.

“Why was Remy all freaked out?” Nicki asks. “Why did she say those things?”

I sit down next to Nicki and take her hands. “I don’t know why Remy said those things, but she’s being doing this a lot lately and that’s why we’re trying to help her move on.”

Nicki’s right eye twitches. “I think that’s a very good idea.”

I wrap my arms around her. “I’m sorry we didn’t warn you, but I thought if you knew how bad Remy was, you’d never agree to be our guinea pig.”

Nicki lets out a short sob. “Yeah, you’re right about that, but I’m sorry too. Sorry I didn’t believe you, and that you’ve had to face this alone all these years.”

Mom starts kicking the front door and Luke runs over and opens it. She walks in with two bags hanging over her shoulder, struggling with a trophy that’s at least four feet tall.

“Here, let me help you.” Luke grabs the trophy and she drops the bags to the floor.

She puffs out her cheeks and exhales loudly. “Thanks! Is this to die for or what?” she asks, pointing to the trophy.

After hearing Remy’s rant, the “to die for” reference is taking on a different meaning for us. I’m also thinking the trophy is just a hunk of craptacular plastic, but we all smile appreciatively at it. What else can we do?

Mom pats the gold figures of a dog and a person. “Meg, would you mind taking this to the trophy room? I’m wiped out and need to get cleaned up and ready for bed. And it’s late, you two, I think it’s probably time to head home.”

Nicki nods. “I’ll come over in the morning so we can talk some more.” She looks at me with such pain in her eyes, I feel guilty I brought her into this mess.

“Okay.”

“Do you need a ride?” Luke asks Nicki.

“You know, even though my house is just a block away, walking in the dark doesn’t sound very appealing right now.”

Luke takes his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll call you,” he says to me.

“Okay. And, Luke, thanks.”

“No problem.”

When the door shuts, I walk over and pick up the trophy with a grunt. It’s a lot heavier than it looks.

“Can you manage it?” Mom asks.

“Sure thing,” I say, chipper as always in the face of unnerving Remy stuff.

I hoist it up, lean it against my shoulder, and head to the trophy room. Ten years ago that was Dad’s office. His stuff is still there, but a lot of it has been pushed aside and boxed up in a corner to make way for all the freestyle crap Mom’s accumulated over the years.

It’s ironic that she can tenaciously hang on to the hope that Dad will wake up but at the same time totally take over his space. And this was his space—he made it clear the study was “Daddy’s room.” But maybe the trophy room is where Mom can be honest with herself, even if she can’t admit it.

I flip on the light and take in the room. Most of Dad’s nonfiction books, the ones about raising chickens and organic gardening—for the farm he dreamed about retiring to—are shoved aside to make room for the trophies that dominate the shelves.

The desk is where it’s always been, complete with family photo. I pick up the picture and look at our smiling faces. Remy and me with matching braids and outfits. It feels like a lifetime ago.

I grunt again and hoist the trophy up onto the desk. I see a file labeled MEDICAL INFO on the desk. It must be the one Mom was going through this morning.

I open the folder and look at a page of incomprehensible MRI results. Why can’t they put this stuff in terms we can all understand?

I shake my head and turn the report over. The next page is blood work results. I continue flipping through pages, and my heart revs up as I see one labeled ADVANCE DIRECTIVES.

If I, Jim Sones, should have an incurable or irreversible condition with no hope for recovery, I choose the following:

I scan the rest of the page.

—tube feeding
No

—antibiotics for infections
No

—being transferred to a hospital for treatment
No

—artificial nutrition
No

—hydration
No

—pain medication
Yes

Oh my God! She knew he wouldn’t want to be hooked up to all those machines, but she did it anyway. All these years Remy has been waiting for Dad because Mom refused to honor his wishes!

I snatch the paper up and storm back into the family room.

“Mom?”

“Upstairs!”

I race up the stairs to her room.

“How could you do it?” I ask, thrusting the paper at her.

She peers down at the paper, and I’m stunned when she looks back up at me calmly. “Because there’s always hope.”

“Hope? It’s been ten years! I’ve read the research and I know you have too. The longer someone is in a persistent vegetative state, the less their chances are of ever recovering!”

Mom sits on her bed. “But there’s still a chance. I love your father and I’m not about to give up on him.”

“This isn’t about giving up on him; it’s about the fact that all this time you’ve had a will that clearly states Dad wouldn’t have wanted to live like this—if you can even call it living. Have you looked at him lately? Really looked at him? Do you honestly believe he would have wanted this?

“And what about Remy? What did Mrs. Amador tell you about her? And don’t bother denying that’s why you really went there.”

Mom looks away from me and breathes deeply. “Mrs. Amador said Remy was looking for something.” A tear rolls down her cheek.

I sit down on the bed next to her and hold the living will in front of her. “She’s looking for Dad. You need to do the right thing for both of them.”

“I just
can’t
, Megan.” Her shoulders shake, and part of me wants to hug her, but it’s been years since we’ve embraced and I can’t bring myself to do it.

“Remy’s in a lot of pain, Mom. She needs Daddy.”

Mom gets up, walks to her dresser, and pulls a few tissues out of the box.

“Promise me you’ll think about it, okay?” I ask.

She nods and I stand up.

“I thought I heard her yesterday—after you left.”

I freeze. “What?”

“I was combing my hair and thought I heard Remy reciting the star light, star bright poem. Remember you used to say that at night, the two of you?”

My heart pounds. “Oh my God, Mom, that was Remy. It
was
her—you heard her! You
have
to believe me now.”

I look at Mom, red nosed and clutching the tissue. I hold my breath.

“That’s why I went to the Amadors’,” she says. “I thought I was going crazy, but you seemed so adamant that she was really here. I had to find out.” She shakes her head. “Mrs. Amador couldn’t get her to appear, though.” Her face crumples into tears.

I sit back on her bed. “Remy was with me today—at the park.”

Mom sits next to me and clutches my hands tightly. “Why can’t I see her?”

“You can. Luke can help you.” I hold out my arms. She leans into me sobbing, and we’re hugging for the first time in years.

“Megan, I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I think I’ve always known Remy was still here, but I just couldn’t bare the thought of my little baby not being at peace. I couldn’t face it, and I ended up hurting you in the process, and I’m so, so sorry.”

She cries harder, and I hug her tighter. “There’s only one way for her to be at peace.”

Mom nods, and for the first time, I feel hopeful this nightmare might finally be ending.

THIRTEEN

Oh my God, she heard her?” Nicki asks, and then she blows on her coffee. “So that means she believes you about Remy, right?”

I take a bite of the cinnamon bagel Nicki brought over this morning and wiggle my toes under Fergus, who’s curled up on the floor below me. “It looks that way, and she didn’t even threaten to send me to Dr. Macardo. Really, there’s no other explanation for the weird things that have happened over the years. I actually have to give her credit for holding out so long. I mean, how do you explain pictures and knickknacks launching themselves across the room if not for a ghost?”

Nicki nods. “I’m having a hard time imagining anyone rationalizing that.”

“According to my mother, we’ve had a lot of earthquakes over the years, but maybe hearing Remy and knowing all the weird shit happened despite the absence of seismic activity made it easier to believe. Luke thought that since Remy’s totally agitated about things, she’s using more energy to make contact and that’s what made it possible for my mom to hear her. Someone at Land of Enchantment did too. I doubt that girl will set foot in Hansel and Gretel’s Haunted Forest ever again.”

Nicki lets out a long breath. “This is all just so mind-blowing—first Remy and now the will. How are you keeping it together? I mean, I only saw Remy once and I’m still shaken—I hardly slept at all. I kept hearing her shouting, ‘She’s gonna die,’ over and over in my head.”

“I don’t have a choice. At least the ‘she’s gonna die’ stuff happened a long time ago, maybe even at the site where Land of Enchantment is now. The day of my interview Remy
showed
me the victim, and after that it’s been one freak-out after another with her.”

Nicki looks sick and covers her mouth. “Oh, God.”

“I’ll spare you the details.”

“Thanks, but do you think Remy’s going to keep at it until she can be with your dad?”

“That’s what I’m thinking.”

“Would a judge uphold the will if your mom was fighting it?”

“I think so. I stayed up late and read about a lot of similar cases online. If there’s a will, the hospitals have to honor it or pay a kick-ass settlement when they get sued.”

“Wow. This is a lot to process!” Nicki sits up and faces me on the couch. “Let’s move on to something a bit cheerier, shall we? What’s the deal with you and Luke?”

I look at her with her eyebrows raised expectantly. “There’s no deal, he’s helping me with Remy.”

“Uh, that’s not the feeling I got last night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when he drove me home he asked how long you and Ryan have been going out. He tried to make it sound like he was just making conversation, but it’s so obvious the guy is hot for you, and I was just wondering if it’s mutual.”

My cheeks redden. “He doesn’t, and it isn’t. But …”

“But?”

I sigh. I so didn’t want to go here, not after all of the complaining I’ve done about Samantha. “Okay, if I’m being completely honest, I have been kinda thinking about him a lot. I keep telling myself it was just because he’s helping me with Remy, but …”

“But?”

“But he sends shivers up my spine every time he touches me.” I bury my face in my hands. “I’m really, really confused.”

Nicki laughs and I look up. She gives me a sly smile and an I-knew-it look. “The really confusing thing is why your boyfriend hangs around with a girl who’s made it abundantly clear she’s in love with him. If Ryan is serious about you, he should’ve cut Samantha loose a long time ago. As it is, he’s leading her on, and frankly, it’s kinda cruel.”

“Actually, Samantha hooked up with a Land of Enchantment exchange student from France yesterday.” The squirmy feeling I got when Ryan tried to shoot down Samantha’s budding romance with Christophe returns.

Nicki scoffs. “That doesn’t change the fact that Ryan’s been a complete dickhead about the whole thing.”

I nod. “You’re right, and I hate to admit it, but it was pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about her hooking up.” My shoulders slump. “Seriously, you should’ve seen him—he kept trying to talk her out of it and warning her about the evils of France.”

Nicki’s lip curls up. “See, this is what I’m talking about! It’s beyond ridiculous to put up with that crap.”

“To be fair, I don’t think he truly gets why it’s a problem, and he tried really hard to make things up to me the other night. He brought over movies and Chinese, and yesterday he told me he got us dinner reservations at the White Mountain Hotel to celebrate our one-month anniversary tonight. I know he cares, and I care about him too. It’s just that, no matter what, Samantha is hovering all the time.”

“And there’s Luke.”

I hang my head.

“Look,” Nicki continues. “I’m not saying Ryan doesn’t care; obviously he chose you over Samantha. But do you really need a guy who comes with his own
groupie
? Why get all angsty about it if there’s someone
else
who sends shivers down your spine?”

“But how do I know what I’m feeling for Luke isn’t just a result of the empath stuff?”

Nicki hunches her shoulders. “Huh?”

“His family, they’re empaths—you know, they can take away your pain, make you feel better just with a touch.”

Nicki smiles and holds out her hand. “Well, ghost boy held this hand last night, and there were no shivers running up and down my spine. Don’t get me wrong—he’s totally cute, and I definitely felt more relaxed every time he touched me, but there were no shivers, not even a tiny goose bump. Well, maybe there were some goose bumps after Remy appeared, but they had nothing to do with Luke.”

I sink back into the couch cushions and stare at the ceiling. “Yeah, well, Luke has a groupie too—Ari. She’s totally in love with him, and there’s no way I could go out with him even if I wanted to—which I’m not saying I do—because I can’t go against the girlfriend code.”

Nicki blows a raspberry. “You’ve known Ari all of a week; the code does not apply.”

“It does! Ari’s told me how much she likes him—I can’t pull a Samantha on her.”

“Stop hanging around with Ari and it won’t be an issue! Seriously, the girl’s a head case. You should’ve seen her glaring at me the last chorus practice. If you want to invoke the girlfriend code, then how about you show some loyalty to your best friend
—moi—
and dump her princess ass!”

“I know you two don’t see eye to eye, but I do like her. She went out of her way to make sure Ryan and I would be working together, and she even got Samantha assigned to her favorite ride in the park—all just because I asked her to. And then there’s the spa date she made for the two of us next week.” I wasn’t planning on mentioning that to Nicki, but I feel like I have to explain why I can’t just dump Ari.

Nicki rolls her eyes. “Well, then we have no choice but to send a letter to the pope and have her nominated for sainthood. I can see it now—Ari Roy, patron saint of amusement parks and French manicures.”

“Ha, ha. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and she’s just trying to be nice. Which is exactly why nothing is ever going to happen with Luke and me.”

“Whatever, it’s your funeral.”

Suddenly a cell phone starts playing, but I don’t recognize the ring tone. I look at Nicki. “Is that you?”

She shakes her head. “It sounds like it’s
under
us.”

We both jump up, and Fergus scrambles away. I lift a couch cushion and Nicki reaches for the phone. She looks at the call number and rolls her eyes again. “Speak of the devil—Ari’s calling.”

“That must be Luke’s.
Don’t
answer it; I don’t want her to know he was here!”

Nicki waves a hand dismissively at me and flips open the phone. “Hello?” she says sweetly.

“What are you doing?”
I whisper.

“This is Nicki, Luke left his phone at my house last night.”

I stare at her bug-eyed.

“But if I see him before you do, I’ll tell him you called, okay?” she chirps. “Later.” She shuts the phone and laughs.

“What did you do
that
for?”

She shrugs. “Well, since you don’t want to hurt her feelings, I figured it would be better if she thought Luke was at
my
house instead of yours. She already hates me, so what the hell?”

“
Or,
you could’ve just not answered it!”

“What fun would that have been?” She waves the phone in front of me. “So it looks like you’ll have to go to Luke’s to return this.”

I snatch it out of her hands. “Yeah, maybe, I guess.”

She starts making kissing noises and I swat her on the arm. “Whether you like it or not, I
have
a boyfriend, so there won’t be any kissing.”

She narrows her eyes. “But you want to, you know you do.”

I clench my jaw and sigh. “I’m going to my anniversary dinner tonight!”

“A restaurant is the perfect place to break up and avoid a scene.”

“I’m not breaking up with him!”

Nicki shakes her head and looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Not five minutes ago you admitted he was up in arms about Samantha starting to see some guy—what does that tell you?”

“That maybe he was just looking out for Samantha? I can kind of see why he might be worried about her going out with a stranger from another country, and I’m thinking that isn’t grounds to break up with him.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to stay with him either.” She smiles and wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “Anyway, Luke is probably missing his phone by now. Why don’t I get my car and I’ll drive you over to his house.” She smacks her lips.

I want to say no, but I also want to talk to Luke about what our next step will be. And yes, I also just want to see him. “Fine, but the only kissing I’ll be doing today will be with Ryan!”

“Oh my God! That’s great!” Luke gushes.

I climb the steps of the gazebo in his backyard, wishing my news
was
great. “Except the will says, ‘irreversible condition with no
hope
for recovery,’ and my mom hasn’t given up
hope,
even if the doctors have. I’m pretty sure I can take the will to our lawyer, but if my mom doesn’t change her mind, what do I do, take her to court?”

I lower myself onto the bench seat, and Luke looks at me with such sadness in his eyes. He sits down next to me and our legs touch. I catch my breath and shout
One-month anniversary
in my head. He holds out his hand and even though I know I shouldn’t, I take it and he laces his fingers through mine.

Shivers.

“I talked to Nona about your mom.”

“And?”

“Nona told her she’s seen Remy before—she described her for your mom. She said your mom didn’t seem too surprised.”

I nod. “My mom confessed she thought she’d heard Remy, and that a part of her has always known Remy was still around. But now that things are getting out in the open, why won’t she take the next step?”

“Because she loves him,” Luke says. “She just needs to realize that letting him go doesn’t change that.”

“What happened to your parents?” I ask, and immediately feel like I’ve overstepped my boundaries. I look at him and see his brow furrow. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“It’s okay. They died when Kayla and I were little— kayaking accident on the river.”

That damn river. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t remember a lot about them.”

“I don’t remember a lot about my dad either—just bits and pieces of things. I go and visit him all the time, but I’ve realized it’s like visiting anyone at the nursing home—he’s just another patient for me to bring Fergus to.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe I just said that, but I think it’s true. Maybe that’s why it’s easier for me to imagine letting him go?” I bite my lip. “God, what’s wrong with me?”

I turn to Luke to see if he’ll think I’m a monster, but his eyes are soft and sympathetic. “Maybe seeing all of the other people in the home has given you perspective—you can tell the living from the dead.”

“Maybe.”

“Does your boyfriend know about Remy?”

His question catches me off guard. “I—I tried to tell him, but … no.”

I breathe in the lilac-scented air. I feel the pressure of Luke’s hand in mine, and I feel more confused than ever. “Ari called your phone this morning,” I say, changing the subject. “Nicki answered it; she told Ari you left it at her house.”