Dom Wars - Round Four (11 page)

Chapter Eleven

"
You know, I think you might actually like my father. But definitely my mother. And maybe you'll get to meet my brother and sisters."

Tara looked at me from her side of the car. She
'd gone back to keeping a safe distance from me and I don't even think she was aware of how far it actually was. Or maybe she did know. Either way, it was too fucking far. "Why? Are we meeting them?"

"
I'm pretty sure."

"
Pretty?"

"
Yes." I halfway watched the city pass us by. "Pretty sure it's the last domination."

After she didn
't answer for a while I looked at her. My heart lurched unexpectedly at the concern in her face, something I hadn't seen there in what felt like forever. I looked away when I realized it weakened me, made me need her.

With the way things were going, that was the last thing I needed to need. Something or somebody I wouldn
't have at my side for this last battle. That was the intention, I'd realized. To break her away from me so I had to go alone to this final crucifixion. She'd get to watch though. Spectator. She'd likely be sorry in the moment but it would be too late. I would have found that place inside me I always went when around him. The numb place. I couldn't help but go there and I was sure it would cost us everything. I would become the little boy who hid. I knew it in my bones.

Without her… I was… nothing different.

"Are you scared?" Her soft voice tugged me to her safety.

I rubbed a hand on my leg, resisting the temptation.
"Not really, no."

"
Not really?"

"
I'm… actually kind of numb to him." How to explain it without giving too much away?

"
Why?"

Again her tender voice shook my resolve. I shrugged, trying to find easy words to explain it without banging on the monster
's cage. "Practice. Years of practice. You can't go forever being abused and not find a defense against it. Makes sense to you I'm sure?"

She of all people would know.
"Yes, I get that."

"
I know you do." Thinking of her pain was an easy distraction for me. "How are you sweetheart? Are you okay?"

She seemed to suddenly struggle with emotions. And words.

"Can I hold you? Just for a bit." Frantic need broke through my casual tone and without looking at me, she slowly scooted to my side. I opened my arms, not caring that she hesitated and fought something, I was too desperate to give a fuck.

Next to me, she put her arms around my neck and hugged my head, pressing her face into mine, her hands running up into my hair softly.
"What was it like to have a father? Tell me your best memory."

My heart ached terribly that she had no memories. I couldn
't fathom that kind of empty pain. I fought to think of something for her, something good. "When I was five… we talked at a campfire together. It was only a few minutes, but he told me a story about when he was a young man. To me it sounded like an adventure, the way he said it. He was a good story teller. Very animated." I stroked her back, closing my eyes when she kissed my ear. "It was a story about him working on a farm. On a tractor. And he hit a beehive and the bees began stinging him and he had to jump off the tractor and run to the pond to get away from them. He said," I smiled to myself at the memory, "that he must've kicked the tractor into gear when he jumped off because about five minutes later, it showed up, put-put-put-put-putting toward the pond." I chuckled. "My father laughed really loud at that part. He was so…different when he was happy."

I shut the memory quickly to keep out the events that followed. They always followed. Pain always followed everything good with him. I hugged her close to me, needing to forget.
"Tell me your best memory with your grandmother?"

She pulled away and smiled at me, and the tiny gesture warmed all the cold places inside me.
"Definitely the time we delivered those pigs. I'd read Charlotte's Web and it only made sense that I'd be Fern and Charlotte."

"
Fern
and
Charlotte?"

"
Oh yeah, I had it all planned. I'd pick the smallest of the liter, raise it like Fern did. But then I'd have to give him up for nature's sake and at that point I'd become Charlotte and find a way to save him." She smiled. "Gramma made no pretenses about what the pig would eventually be for, so… yeah. He needed a savior. And I was sure I could be that."

I stroked on her cheek with a thumb.
"What did you name the pig?"

"
Duh. Wilbur."

I smiled.
"Right. And was he cute?"

Her face bloomed in a huge smile that stole my heart.
"He was sooooo adorable." She made that little snorting noise and I chuckled.

"
Is that where you learned that?"

She looked at me, her eyes twinkling.
"Learned what?"

"
That little pig sound you do."

She did it again and burst out laughing.
"Huh. I guess maybe it is."

My body filled with the sudden need to consume her utterly in that moment. I swallowed, fighting it back, letting my fingers play along the happy pulse at her neck.

"Don't you want to know?" she asked. "If I saved Wilbur?"

"
Not if…"

"
I did save him." She smiled that radiant smile again, nodding proudly.

"
You did? Thank God," I sighed, "I was thinking it ended badly."

She kept smiling and shook her head.
"That's because I bought her. I worked and saved money to buy her. That was the only way I could keep her, if I paid for what it would cost in bacon as Gramma'd say. A pig is supper on the table."

"
Bacon atrocity."

"
Exactly," she said, glad I saw her side.

Again that need to have her hit me, nearly stealing my breath. She saw it and her smile slowly faded as her eyes locked on mine. I was paralyzed with need, everything I
'd ever been before I met her was gone. I suddenly didn't know what I was supposed to do in that second, I only knew I was supposed to do something.

She seemed to fight her own battles and the words
I'm sorry
jumped on my tongue. I remembered I couldn't say them and agony tore through me. Then I remembered the plan to compensate. Only, my throat was shut tight and I couldn't voice how much I loved her.

She suddenly took my face in her hands and kissed me. It broke that dam holding it all back and I grabbed her face as well, fighting to kiss her deep enough and with the exact measure of love singing in my veins.

"Make love to me Lucian. Hurry."

The urgent longing in her voice spoke to my hands and immediately they began to comply, removing all manner of clothing. I laid her down on the seat and settled between her thighs. I kissed her softly as I entered her entirely, all at once, gaining that sharp gasp I fucking had to have. Her nails roamed my body with hunger—along my shoulders, my scalp, my back, sides, then ass.

"Tara," I whispered, moving inside her, lost in her. "Tara." Her name was all I could say. All I needed. Wanted.

"
I love you," she gasped. "Always."

Those words lit me on fire, starting at my soul and filling my muscles with that bubbly joy and unspeakable hunger. I let it loose in my kiss, in my thrusts, in my fingers wrapped in her hair. I had to keep her, hold her, pin her as I took her hard, deeper, faster, forcing her cries into my mouth and mind, burning them into my fucking heart.

I had to make her mine, she had to be mine. Now. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Every fucking tomorrow. No games, no more pain. Just me and her, loving and laughing. Living. Really living. Fuck, I could live if I had her. I could really live.

****

"Where are we?" Tara looked around. She'd not gone to the far end of the car after we made love but she wasn't glued to my side either. It was progress.

"
Not sure," I lied. "Looks like some kind of mall. Maybe Steve needs to stop."

"
Oh." She scanned the area like a child happening along a carnival.

"
You…want to go in?"

She turned to me with a look on her face that made me want to give her the world.
"Can we?"

"
I don't see why not if you really want to."

She tossed her head a bit from side to side with indecision. Odd that she didn
't want me to know how badly she wanted it.

"
First time at a big mall?"

The question drew her brows together.
"What? No," followed with a "pfft. Of course not. We have a mall."

"
One?"

"
A big one."

I smiled.
"Let's go explore."

We entered a large department store and she gasped.
"An escalator."

I smiled down at her.
"You like those?"

She smiled back, unashamed as she hurried to it.
"I do."

"
Well we better go see what's upstairs then."

We stepped on and she gasped about halfway up.
"There's
three
of them!"

I laughed.
"Yes. Ginormous." I leaned in and kissed her on the lips and she shied away, not keen on the whole public show of affection. Or was she embarrassed with me?

The idea stabbed me just as my phone vibrated in my pocket and slammed me with dread. Fuck. No. God.

We made our way to the next escalator and I looked around. "Wonder what floor the bathroom is on?"

"
Let's ask." We got off the escalator and got directions from the woman at the first counter, then headed to the wall she pointed to. We both went to the bathroom and I pulled out my stupid fucking phone.
Make Tara jealous.

My breakfast rushed up and I hurried to the toilet, holding it back with ragged gasps. I gripped the wall and fought the fury boiling inside me, grasping desperately for reasons to go on. To not quit. A million dollars was the least fucking enticing. Tara. She needed family. Her grandmother. She needed her only family put back together. But she fucking needed me too. I knew she did. No matter what she looked like, said, faked, or pretended.

I shoved out of the stall and went to the sink. She would get over it once she knew, she was strong and stubborn. A true Dom. I knew this deeply. It was me that needed to be strong. It was me that needed to Dom the fuck up. Play out the lie. She'd be okay. Once she knew it wasn't my fault, she'd be okay.

It was perfect timing if I needed to be an optimist. And I really fucking did. Steve was out getting my next
sorry
gift and planting it in the car. I was to wait for his call before heading back to the limo. I needed to do this bullshit and get it done.

Our one hour honeymoon was already over.

I headed out of the bathroom realizing one final thing. I'd need to make it count or all this fucking bullshit would be for nothing. I couldn't half ass this one. I needed to saw off the leg entirely. Quickly. No stopping halfway through to whine about it. Sabotage the operation and make us suffer this agony for nothing. No fucking way. We had to win, losing was not an option. And playing nice wasn't an option if that was to happen.

"
I'd like to buy you something." I hooked my arm in Tara's and led her back down the escalators.

"
Oh, you don't need to do that. I mean, like what?"

I ignored the excitement in her voice that said she lied, resisted the pain it wanted to inflict on me.
"Something intimate."

"
Oh?" She smiled and I led her to the lingerie department on the first floor. While we browsed the garments, I kept an eye out for an attractive worker. Finally, a woman the size of three Taras came to our assistance and I kindly declined her help.

I finally spotted a woman shopping the panties nearby who would work for the job. I headed over to her and browsed the garments next to her.

"Looking for anything in particular?" Tara whispered, sounding embarrassed.

"
Yes, I am." I turned to the woman. "Excuse me. Can you help me?"

She paused and looked up, attraction immediately registering in her face. At seeing Tara, it nearly disappeared. Nearly.
"I can try?"

I lowered my voice to intimate but still loud enough for Tara to hear.
"I hope I'm not being too forward but, I'm looking for a particular garment. It needs to have easy access at the breasts, a slit for the nipples to peek through when I make them hard.... And I'd like an open slit at the pussy as well. For indulging my every fantasy."