Enlightened (13 page)

‘Whatever shall I do with you?’ he murmured salaciously as he cocked his head to the side and kept me pinned with his bright blue stare. At his domineering stance and words I felt my legs become a little rubbery, so lowered myself to lean on the edge of the dining table for support as I chewed expectantly on my lip, choosing the stay silent for now.

Leaning across the table Nathan tutted in apparent irritation and used his thumb to roughly dislodge my lower lip from between my teeth. ‘You’re really pushing my buttons, Stella; first last night and now chewing on your lip again.’ Leaning back he ran his hands through his hair and genuinely looked like he was at his wits ends. It was at times like this when I loved him the most, when he tried to maintain his calm, strong front but failed and exposed a little of his vulnerability. I knew my lip biting bothered him, he hated it when I ‘hurt’ myself, but it wasn’t exactly a conscious choice, just a habit that I was mostly unaware of doing. Poor guy, clearly my lip biting combined with the stress of seeing me out last night with the occasional bit of interest from the opposite sex was tipping him over the edge.

Looking at me with pleading eyes he exhaled a short, sharp breath and then seemed to gather himself. ‘I’ve told you numerous times, don’t damage yourself – this lip is
mine
. No biting it. Clear?’

Hearing Nathan’s truly domineering tone for the first time in weeks sent an instant shiver of fear laced lust shooting straight to my core and delicious tingles sprang to the skin of my arms. As ridiculous as it sounds, after our ‘handcuff car scenario’ the other week I had realised that I’d missed this side of him,
really
, missed it, if I was being honest. Submission was obviously something inbuilt within my personality, or at least a certain degree of it anyway, because no matter how much I loved the responsibility of my job, my independence, and the equality of the relationship I now had with Nathan, I still occasionally yearned for the good old days when he used to so effortlessly take control of me and have his wicked way with me.

A small sigh escaped my lips as my mind suddenly ran wild with visions of all our passionate times together. The sensation of his total power over me was just exquisite, the biggest turn on I’d ever experienced in my life, and although I’m sure some women would hate it, I loved how powerless I felt when Nathan truly dominated me. Although perhaps “powerless” is the wrong word. It was the lack of responsibility I loved; I didn’t need to worry or think about anything when we were in a scene, it was like emptying my mind of all thoughts and just existing in the moment. I sound like some Zen yoga buff, but it was true – it helped that I knew I was completely safe with him, one murmur of the safe word and I had no doubt that Nathan would cease immediately.

My thoughts had me craving that adrenaline rush again
, right now,
regardless of the fact that it was barely ten o’clock in the morning, and so with a deep breath for bravery I made sure I had his full attention before I slowly licked my lips, nodded to show that I’d heard him, and then teasingly took my lower lip in between my teeth again. Gently grazing my teeth back and forth on the soft flesh I watched as Nathan’s eyes initially widened in surprise at my deliberate infringement of his rules, but then his pupils darkened and narrowed as his spine straightened from my challenge.

‘Stella?’ Nathan’s voice practically rumbled across the small distance between us as I continued to toy with my lip, but I didn’t answer him, just continued to look at him provocatively, no doubt with a devious twinkle in my eye.

‘So be it,’ he murmured. Standing slightly straighter I watched Nathan adjust his posture until it was utterly perfect; his broad shoulders squared and upright and his legs splayed as he pointed to his right and raised an eyebrow at me. This was my signal to submit to him, and I’d never been happier to see it, or keener to oblige in all my life. Sliding from the table I immediately took up my position at his side, linked my hands, and averted my gaze. My heart was hammering so loudly in my chest that I was sure he would be able to hear it and laugh at me for being foolish enough to start all this in the first place with my act of defiance.

‘Don’t move a muscle,’ he told me in a low tone as he stalked around me once and then came to stand behind me. His lips lowered next to my neck, tracing a pattern up and down so closely that I could feel his breath fanning across my skin, but never once did his teasing mouth make contact with me. Once again circling me like his intended prey – which I suppose I was – he came to stand just before me and placed both his hands on my wrists in the lightest of touches before running just one fingertip up each arm, across my collar bones, and up my neck until they reached my mouth. His thumbs grazed across my lips several times and instinctively I bit on my lip to hold in the moan that wanted to escape. ‘This lip is going to get you into trouble, Stella,’ Nathan smirked, sounding rather pleased with himself as his thumb released my lip and briefly pushed inside my mouth where I couldn’t resist gently sucking on it. Just as quickly as it started Nathan moved away and removed all contact with me and a groan escaped my lips as I swayed on my feet, my head now light and dizzy from the adrenaline and lust coursing through my system.

‘Stay right where you are,’ he murmured, thrusting his hands into his trouser pockets, then seeing my shiver of anticipation, he chuckled darkly, ‘That’s right Stella, I’m nowhere near done with you yet.’ Such teasing words! He strode in the direction of his office, leaving me panting and wondering what he was doing.

Just as he had requested I didn’t move an inch – unless you counted the heaving of my chest from the ragged breaths escaping past my lips – but thankfully no more than a minute or two later I watched him stride back towards me purposefully with a single sheet of paper and fountain pen in his hand. It didn’t escape my notice that he had dispensed of his shoes and socks and was now barefoot, his gorgeous feet making hardly a sound on the wooden floor as he approached me. Placing the paper down he began to roll up his shirt sleeves, taking his time to fold them perfectly until they sat just below his elbows. I wondered if he knew just how sexy he looked; still in his smart shirt and trousers, but barefooted and his strong, corded forearms rippling as he moved. It was such a tempting sight that I felt myself biting my lower lip again, only to realise what I was doing and then stifle a nervous giggle as I released it from between my teeth.

Ignoring me completely he slid onto one of the seats by the dining table, removed the lid from his pen with a flourish, and began to write something. I was too far away to see what he was writing, but I was starting to squirm a little on the spot, which he obviously noticed, because he finally sighed and then looked up briefly, ‘Undress, then resume your position.’ With that he went back to his notes.

Slightly taken back by his cold briskness I stood unmoving for a few seconds staring at him, almost feeling affronted by his treatment of me. Was this really how he had been with me at the start of our relationship? I thought back, and realised that yes, Nathan had been incredibly intimidating and blunt then, while also sexy as hell, and clearly from this display still had it in him just below the surface.

‘Now, Stella,’ he reminded me in a firm, barked order, not even lifting his eyes from the paper. But this time I saw that his words were accompanied by just the briefest curl of his upper lip, as if he was sharing my shock and finding it amusing. Well, I suppose I had been the one to deliberately taunt him in the first place, clearly he was just getting his own back now. Luckily, just that tiny glimpse of the Nathan I now knew, loved, and trusted reassured me and I immediately began to peel my clothes off, fold them neatly, and place them on a chair.

Just as I was about to remove my high heels I heard the shift of Nathan’s chair on the wooden floor and glanced up to find him replacing the cap of his fountain pen and watching me intently with a lusty glint in his eye. ‘The heels can stay,’ he murmured, standing from his seat and pointing to where he wished me to stand. Pushing my foot back into my four inch high heel I stood as tall and confident as I could, and then approached him with what I hoped was a seductive gait until I was stood before him wearing nothing but my necklace, high heels, and a heated blush.

When I reached his side I heard a low growl of approval rumble from Nathan’s chest. Then saw him pick up the piece of paper and wave it briefly, before stepping away from me and bending to place it on a low coffee table on the other side of the dining room. Then he walked back to me, placed a hand on my lower back which seemed to scorch my skin from his touch, and guided me to the coffee table.

‘I want you to read this in your head and memorise the lines word for word for posterity,’ he told me in a soft tone. Wondering why he hadn’t just handed the sheet to me I bent to pick it up but almost immediately felt his warm hand settle on my lower back, keeping me bent over at a right angle. ‘Uh-uh, Stella, no picking it up.’ Then, after giving my lower back a gentle tap he spoke again, ‘Hands here please.’

I complied immediately, the weeks and weeks of training we’d done together at the start of our relationship were still so ingrained in me that to be honest I found it hard not to comply with his requests. Lifting my arms up and behind me I felt one of his hands circle both of my wrists and gently rub as he held them at the base of my spine. ‘Are you learning your lines?’ he reminded me again, which made me remember why I was bent over the coffee table in the first place.

Flicking my eyes to the sheet of paper I began to read. Even Nathan’s handwriting was somehow sensual in its curved formation, the glossy flow of the real ink from his pen somehow added to the overall eroticism of the scene. As soon as I began digesting the contents however, I very nearly laughed out loud.

I shall no longer bite the lower lip of my mouth and cause myself damage. I will never flaunt myself in front of other men because I belong to you, Nathan. My body and lips are yours, and as such, you, Sir, are to be the only one permitted to touch me or bite my lip in future.

Scoffing quietly I rolled my eyes, glad that Control Freak Jackson was behind me and couldn’t see. But fine, if that was how he wanted to play this little scene I would go along with it. I was just beginning my second read through of the ridiculous verse when I heard the metallic sound of Nathan’s belt buckle being undone. Talk about a distraction. Now all I could concentrate on was whether he was going to take me here, or perhaps bend me over the sofa to have his wicked way with me. All lusty thoughts evaporated from my mind a second later however, when I felt his palm gently caress my bottom, shortly followed by the sharp pulling noise of his belt being removed from his trouser loops. My mind was working at warp speed, was he about to punish me with his belt? Beat me with it? Hell no. I was brave enough to admit that I enjoyed a spanking from Nathan, and the paddle and flogger we’d used had been fun too, it heightened my arousal no end to mix a little dash of pain in with my pleasure, but a belt? I had never, ever thought that that could be pleasurable and I felt panic completely swamping my arousal.

Trying to stand up I was stopped by a firm pressure from Nathan’s hand on my spine, and before I realised it a safe word had popped from my lips, ‘Yellow!’ I blurted. I’d barely ever safe worded with Nathan in the past, he seemed to intuitively know my boundaries, but if he planned on using a belt on me I needed to voice my concerns. As soon as the word had popped from my mouth Nathan’s hand was gone from my spine, both of his warm palms landing on my shoulders and pulling me up into the safety of his arms.

Releasing a breath into his chest I realised I was trembling all over and desperately tried to get a grip of myself. ‘Talk to me, Stella,’ he encouraged, one hand running up and down my back reassuringly as his other arm encased me against the warmth of his solid body.

‘I don’t like the idea of you …’ But I faltered, what word should I say? Beating? Hitting? Spanking? The first two sounded too excessive, but surely a spanking inferred a hand and skin on skin contact? Pausing briefly I kept it simple, ‘I don’t like the idea of being punished with your belt, Sir.’ Suddenly the arms around me tightened to the point where I was struggling to breathe, and I heard a similar ragged breath escape from Nathan’s throat.

Moving me so he could look in my eyes I saw a tortured expression on his beautiful face and immediately my chest coiled with concern, ‘Never,’ he whispered emphatically, dropping a fierce kiss on my lips. ‘I would
never
use a belt on you that way.’ Closing his eyes for a second he tipped his head back and then shook it as if he was gathering himself, before his eyes opened and I was almost knocked down by the clarity of his crystal blue gaze. ‘You may recall me mentioning that the belt was my father’s … weapon of choice, shall we say.’ Shit! Of course! How could I have been so stupid? Wincing, I looked up to see the same tortured expression on his face as his mouth thinned into a tight, bitter grimace. ‘Whenever he punished Nicholas or me it would be with one of his many, many belts. On some occasions a cane.’

‘I’m so sorry, Nathan, that had totally slipped my mind … I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.’ I felt so awful, how had I not remembered this major detail about his life? Exhaling five long breaths through his nose Nathan seemed to be somehow trying to close a door on his past before he finally looked down at me again and smiled softly, ‘It’s fine, Stella. I was simply going to bind your hands with it, but if you are not comfortable we can stop.’ Right at that moment the only thing I wanted to do was take away the look of vulnerability that I had seen in Nathan’s expression minutes earlier, so I shook my head, pushed away from him, and resumed my position bent over the coffee table with my arms behind my back.

‘Use the belt, Sir. Tie me up,’ I offered softly, my eyes floating back to his silly note and hoping we could return to the fun of our earlier scene.

After a few seconds passed where he was apparently considering my offer I felt Nathan shift behind me again. Instead of immediately going for the belt he instead spent several minutes relaxing me by gently rubbing his hands across my skin, massaging my shoulders, back, buttocks, and arms until I was humming my pleasure and wiggling my hips provocatively. He’d obviously sensed my need to have my arousal rekindled, and perhaps his own, and boy had he done the trick. I was now thrumming with need again and could feel sticky wetness gathering between my thighs.