Every Breath You Take (3 page)

“You’re wrong, Peter. And so are you, Brady. I need to go. I need to see them.”

All four men rose to their feet. Jake was at her side.

“Lexie, baby. Please listen to me.” His voice was soft, consoling. The pain in his eyes was almost as powerful as her anger. For a brief second she wanted to throw herself into his arms, beg him to hold her tight and make it all go away, but her rage took over.

“Don’t, Jake. Don’t try to stop me.”

Peter broke in. “Alexis, please don’t do this. I am as responsible as you are. We all are. I helped you videotape those girls. I arranged for the meeting before the Council. Alexis, that meeting was a sensation. You did more in that one hour to help those girls than all the rest of us had done in months, years. You—”

Lexie held up her hand. She didn’t want to hear Peter’s rationale. It was a rationale that would have made sense yesterday or even this morning. But not now. She didn’t want to hear his calm, cultured voice excusing what had happened. His patient, controlled understanding made it worse. She turned her fury on him.

“Stop, Peter. Damn you! Just stop.” Peter startled and pulled back, his frown deepening. Lexie’s anger was a raging storm-filled stream. A torrent of rushing water determined to take out everything in its path. “You kill every day, don’t you, Peter? Killing, murder is just part of the game you play, isn’t it? In your line of work, it’s one more weapon in your scary tool bag. The ends justify the means. Right, Peter? And if a few Korean whores have to die in the process, so be it. They’re expendable. It’s too bad if they get in the way. Unfortunate, but the price we pay. Because you’re after the big prize, aren’t you, Peter? Young-soo. Damn, Peter, I can’t blame you. You get him and you’ll be more of a legend among the spooks than you already are.”

The twitch beside Peter’s eye was the only sign that her ugly words had hurt.

“Lexie, stop.”

Jake’s hand on her arm was as firm as his voice signifying that he had gone into his commander mode. If he’d thrown gasoline on a fire it couldn’t have caused a bigger explosion. Her rage was overpowering. It blotted out the concern on their faces, in their voices. She broke free and backed away from Jake. She needed distance. She couldn’t bear his touch. She whirled on him.

“And you, Jake. You and Brady.” She spun to include her best friend in her fury. She almost didn’t recognize her own scorn-thickened voice. “How many people have you killed over the years? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Damn, between the two of you I bet it numbers in the thousands. Well, sorry boys. I’m a hell of a fighter but I guess it’s time to ‘fess up. Like everything else about me, I only fight for show. My kill count is miniscule compared to you guys.”

She paused, her words stuck in her throat but she pushed them out, insisting that they hear them. “Until today, that is. Now I can add three more to my list. How should I mark it? How do you guys keep track? Notches on your belts?” Seeing the concern on her friends’ faces, she tried to rein in her anger. “You’ll have to excuse me if I seem a little rattled. A little hysterical. You know how we women are.”

Jake sighed. For a moment Lexie was consumed with horror at what she had said. She couldn’t believe that she’d turned on the men she loved, showering them with such hateful words. Jake saved her. Ignoring the awful things she had said, he became who he’d been through the years. A former Colonel in the United States Army, a legendary Green Beret. He was a hero, a leader of men, a commander. The image he conveyed couldn’t have been more clear if he’d donned a uniform covered with the myriad medals and decorations he’d earned.

“Lexie. Sit down. Please. Now. We are a team. While you can’t accept the truth yet, you will. The men who killed Mee-Yon, and Bong-Cha, and Sun-Hi are responsible for their deaths. But many others also have a responsibility. And yes, we all played a part. You, me, Brady, Peter. And so did the girls. They played the part of the victims in this hideous ongoing atrocity. Victims who, with your help and the rest of our team, will no longer be anonymous, unheard voices. You courageously started the process and now as a team we’re going to finish it. Do you understand?”

For a moment Lexie almost gave in, let go of her rage, allowed sanity to return to her agonized brain. But old lessons kicked in. Instead of hearing the truth in Jake’s words, she chose to hear the command. His insistence that they were a team, that there was no room for ‘lone rangers’ like her, only ignited her rage.

Her heart was pounding, her legs were shaking, but not from fear or pain, rather from outrage.

Her voice dripped with scorn.

“Oh right, we’re a team. Of course. As long I do everything the mighty Jake Gardner tells me to do—including not feeling badly that three young girls have been tortured to death. I just need to accept it. Do as I’m told. Like a good little girl. The
team
will handle this. Right? Is that what you’re saying, Commander?”

She was three feet away from Jake but the intensity between them flashed like lightening in a stormy sky.

Jake’s voice was soft, dangerous.

“That’s correct, Lexie. The team will handle this and you are a critical member of the team.
Together
we will find out who did this and
together
we will take them down. More important we will find the men who gave them their orders and hunt them down like the dogs they are. And we will do it as
a team
.”

Lexie sneered. “A team, right? With
you
in command?”

Jake’s gaze held her as strongly as if his arms were tight around her.

“Correct. On both counts.”

Lexie’s hands tightened into hard fists at her sides. She willed her chest to release at least a small breath so that she could get enough air to do what she needed to do. Her voice was as soft as Jake’s and she hoped as dangerous.

“In that case, Commander, this team member is going to do what the rest of the team has already done. I am going to the morgue. To see the girls. To see how they died. To see what
I
and the
rest
of the team have done.”

Her voice shook. Tears burned the backs of her eyelids. She did the only thing she could do to keep them from falling. She threatened the man she loved.

“And so help me God, Jake, you are
not
going to stop me.”

A flash of anger washed across his face but it was quickly replaced by something more powerful. His love for her almost brought Lexie to her knees. Almost. Lexie saw Jake glance at Master Wan and give an imperceptible nod.

Jake gazed at her from half-lidded eyes. His words were a soft command. They didn’t allow for disobedience.

“Get changed, Lexie.”

“Why… where are we going?”

“To the morgue. I’ll get my bike.”

Chapter 3

Lexie stood by Mee-Yon’s table. She’d have thought by now she would’ve been prepared. This was the third body she’d examined. If anything it was worse. The butchers must have gotten careless. Maybe they had more
yakju
than they could handle. The burns not only had destroyed the young victim’s face but left deep crusted holes in her chest. Her collar bones were visible beneath the ropey scars.

Unable to stop her stomach from responding, Lexie gagged and wretched. Bending over at the waist, she gave in to the powerful involuntary reflex. Jake was at her side. He held her head and put the basin under her chin. The way he had before. She’d vomited so many times she was astonished that there was anything left. She tried to signal her brain, her gut. But neither listened. Apparently they couldn’t stop responding to the horrific sights.

She didn’t know how many minutes had passed, it could have been an hour or more. Through the fog in her brain, she heard Jake’s voice.

“Say good-bye, Lexie,” he said tenderly. “It’s time to go, Darlin’.”

Lexie started to protest but the words stuck in her throat. She nodded instead. She chided herself. Told herself that she should look at each body one more time to say good-bye and to make sure it was a sight she never forgot. But even in her distraught state, she knew that wasn’t necessary. She would carry their hideous faces to her grave.

~~~

“Lift up your head, honey.”

The cool air and the sound of traffic on the busy thoroughfare confirmed that they were outside. She allowed herself a cautious breath gratified that the air smelled like gas exhaust and fast food. Not formaldehyde or burned tissue or, God forbid, hydrochloric acid.

Lexie lifted her chin and allowed Jake to strap on her helmet. He picked her up and set her on the GT, the goddess throne, as he’d renamed the bitch seat on his Electra Glide. Swinging one strong leg over the fender, he mounted the bike. Jake yanked out a pair of handcuffs from the side pouch and carefully slipped one cuff around her wrist. He put her arms around his waist and fastened the other cuff on her free wrist, ensuring that she was held securely in place, her arms wrapped snugly around his waist.

The cuffs were an erotic joke between them. A statement that she wasn’t going anywhere until he could get her underneath him. Often they took the cuffs with them to their lover’s lair to explore another mountain peak in their outrageous lovemaking. But today the cuffs served a more elemental purpose. Without them she would have fallen off the bike. There was no way her rubbery arms and legs could’ve held on.

~~~

Jake pulled up to the Jai Li Center. The dojo comprised the front half of the sprawling structure. The home where Master Wan and Madam Juen and now she and Jake lived was in the back. Along with the rigorous schedule of martial arts lessons, the center was the home of her nationally known Strong Women Survive program. She’d started the program after her brother Anthony was killed. Along with Master Wan and Jake, the program was one of the ways that she’d managed to survive Anthony’s murder. Barely. After today, the words seemed like a hideous irony. How could she teach other damaged women to survive and yes, thrive, if she couldn’t?

“Put me down, Jake.”

His arms tightened for a moment, then with frown, he set her on the ground.

“Are you sure, honey? I wouldn’t mind wrapping you up in my arms and taking you back to our quarters. How about it, Darlin’? A bath or maybe a long shower—especially if I was in it with you—sounds damn good.”

Lexie shook her head. As much as she wanted to wash off the smell of the morgue, scrub away the memory of the mutilated bodies, she couldn’t. Not until she found an outlet for her rage. She knew the place. She’d been there far too often in her young life. Master Wan had shown her the power of the leather punching bag. It could absorb any amount of anger or grief that she had. She’d shown it to her students. The young people whose biggest issue was not getting a new dress, or having a boyfriend ditch her, or not making the football team, learned that it was cathartic to hit a bag that couldn’t hit back.

Unfortunately Lexie’s issues were bigger than her privileged students. She used the leather target to chase away the demons from her past. To strike out at the ugly men who’d taken advantage of a barely teenaged girl. The strip joints that allowed her to eat and gave her a place to sleep—for a price. The death of her beloved brother. And now, this.

She forced herself to speak calmly, but couldn’t keep her voice from shaking.

“I need to go to the dojo, Jake.”

“Okay, honey. Let me get changed. I’ll join you.”

Before she could refuse, he put up his hand.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not crazy enough to spar with you tonight. No, I’ll let you beat the hell out of the bag, instead of me. But the bag is a good idea. I’m glad we have several in the dojo.”

~~~

Jake stood in the back of the cavernous studio watching the woman he loved more than life attack the leather surrogate. He shared a troubled gaze with Master Wan. But neither of them attempted to stop her. They both knew that the only way Lexie could deal with the anger and grief swamping her was to beat it out of herself. After Anthony was killed, Jake and Master Wan encouraged her to use the inhuman target for her rage. Often she flayed at the bag for hours at a time. Only when she was about to collapse from fatigue did one of the men step in.

Tonight, her strikes were vicious. Her warrior shrieks echoed throughout the studio. They bounced off the walls as violently as her hands and feet struck the unyielding bag. Lexie had already exchanged her gloves several times, the ripped rejects tossed aside in a growing pile. But now after an hour Jake saw that her kicks were getting less fierce. Her shoulders weren’t as rigid. Her shouts not as shrill. Jake started to go to her, but Master Wan shook his head.

Lexie’s sensei and the only true father she’d ever had, murmured softly. “Jai Li’s body is wise, Jake. It will tell her when she’s had enough.”

Jake sniffed, reminding himself that the wisest person in this room was the elderly man standing beside him. Years ago, Master Wan had saved Lexie’s sixteen-year-old brother Anthony from certain prison. The renowned grandmaster saw the promise in the fierce young boy and took him into his home and his life. After Anthony learned to focus his rage into the more acceptable MMA channels he joined the Army, quickly going through the ranks. His fighting skills put him in a class of his own. For the next five years Master Wan and Anthony tromped through the various levels of an uncaring social service system hunting for his young sister that he hadn’t seen since she was ten years old. Following the crumbs from one foster home to another Anthony finally found Lexie in a strip joint. Her sixteen-year-old body was just beginning to exhibit the extraordinary attributes that now made her the object of many men’s wet dreams. Forced to return to his mission in Afghanistan, Anthony turned his sister over to the person who’d saved him. Master Wan and Madam Juen took the young girl into their home. With his expert eye, Master Wan saw the talent beneath the angry druggie’s harsh exterior and turned the sullen teenager into a world class martial artist. He always laughed when he said the only student he’d had in forty years of teaching who was more talented than Anthony, was Lexie. Master Wan and his wife became the only real parents both Lexie and Anthony had. To say that Master Wan saved their lives was, if anything, an understatement.