Evie's Knight (14 page)

“You know, when I first met your mother, I knew I’d never be the same.”

His father went on to reminisce about how he met his sweetheart, Maria. Calvin listened in the beginning. And though he’d heard it all several times, he enjoyed the way his father spoke of her. But tonight, the sound of his voice served as a distant hum as Calvin worked to sort through the clutter in his mind.

“What’s bothering you, Cal?”

He didn’t notice the question until silence fell upon the room. Before he could muster a response, his dad spoke up again. “Cal, what is it?”

“A few minutes ago, I was thinking about how much Mom would love Evie,” he said.

His dad ran a hand over his short blond hair and chuckled. “She’d be planning lunch dates and trips to the library with her. You’d probably have to compete with your mother to spend time with your own girlfriend.”

Calvin nodded, preoccupied by the way he’d called Evie his girlfriend. He liked hearing it. More than he should. What Dad had said was true. They’d be sharing recipes, chatting about their favorite books.

But that wouldn’t happen. Because Mom was gone.

And he didn’t want to hand Evie a similar fate.

“I got thinking about something else, too.” A strange surge of adrenalin coursed through his arms and the back of his neck. The massive energy seemed to burst through his skin in a cold sweat. “I dreamt about Evie. After the first time I spoke with her.”  He glanced up to see a smile on his father’s face.

Calvin elaborated. “I dreamt she was dead, Dad.” He swallowed the dryness from his throat and watched his father stiffen.

“The dream wasn’t long or elaborate. But Evie was dead. And all I knew is that somehow it was my fault.” He wasn’t sure why, but Calvin couldn’t bring himself to mention the appearance of the Raven-haired Ghost. In the end, that wasn’t the part that bothered him so much. His biggest fear–the one that made him sick even then–was what she’d told him in the dream. That
he
was the one to blame.

His father’s lips hardened into a straight line.

Calvin rubbed a hand across the tense muscles in the back of his neck. “Dad, what’s going on with the Knight men?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure what you mean. The Knight…men?”

A fist of anger flared up in Calvin’s throat. “Yes, Dad. The Knights. I know you never liked me listening to Grandpa– ”

“Your grandfather didn’t know what the hell he was talking about,” his dad snapped.

“Fine. Let’s say you’re right.” Calvin leaned his elbows onto his knees and let out a tight breath. “Let’s leave Grandpa out of this. How do
you
explain it? I want to know how you explain a consistent chain of events that has remained unbroken for as far back as anyone can remember.” His voice rose as he continued. “
Every Knight man
loses his mother.
Every Knight
man
loses his love. Not one of their brides lives to see her thirty-fifth birthday. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?” It took everything in him to remain seated. He looked at his dad, pleading with his eyes for an answer.

“Calvin, it’s just … it is what it is. You can’t just make up reasons for things that have happened. That’s what Grandpa Knight did, just created a load of garbage to explain it all away. He loved Maria like a daughter. He lost so much that it…he couldn’t take it anymore.”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Calvin brought up his hand, counted it out with his fingers. “He lost his mother, his wife, and then Mom. That’s not normal. How do you
know
it’s not true, Dad? How can you be so certain that there isn’t some…weird curse on us like he said?”

“Cal, do you hear yourself talking? You want to know how I can be certain?” He let out a humorless laugh. “I can be certain because things like that don’t exist. Is that good enough for you? Things like that don’t happen. They’re not real.
Life
happens. Life is real. Not that bullshit Grandpa was always ranting about.”

Calvin ran his hands over his face, hoping to vanquish the image of the pain in his father’s eyes. “Doesn’t matter,” he decided. “It’s the same ending no matter what the cause is. And what it means is that I’m putting Evie in danger.”

“Calvin, don’t you dare–”

“How can I
not?”
Calvin rose to his feet. “I knew you were going to tell me not to worry about it. To just live like it doesn’t exist. Sure, Evie and I could probably get married, have a few kids like you and mom, but then–Wham! Oh, sorry Evie, I never told you that marriage to a Knight man is an early death sentence!”

“Damn it, Calvin, would you shut up! I did not sentence your mother to death by marrying–”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Dad.” The hurt in his eyes, the pain on his face threatened Calvin’s composure. “I just have a feeling that if I…” He stopped there and reorganized his thoughts. “You know, I’ve called her every night since our date last week.”

He shrugged. “So. That sounds about right to me.”

“I worry about her. Being away this weekend was torture. I don’t feel right unless I can hear the sound of her voice and know she’s okay.” He pictured the way she’d opened up to him about her mother. The triumphant look on her face after the batting cages. Their kiss against the building after. “Every time I see or talk to Evie I fall harder for her. But at the same time, somewhere in the back of my head, there’s a voice–this constant whisper that says I’m not good for her.”

His father nodded.

“I’m just … scared to love her, Dad. Do you get that?” He felt foolish. Angry about his vulnerable state. “Even back in Colorado I worried about it. I didn’t even really love Kate. I stayed with her, almost forcing myself into that relationship just to prove that what Grandpa Knight used to say wasn’t true. I used her, I think, to assure myself that the curse was a bunch of crap, like you always said.” He shrugged. “It worked for a while.”

A vision of Evie’s face came to mind, friendly and beautiful. “I don’t want anything to happen to her. Ever. And if my being with her puts her in some sort of danger–”

“I can’t let you finish that sentence, Cal. It’s crazy talk. You are of no danger to her.” His tone was stern. “That sweet girl is going to give you her heart. Don’t turn it away like a dummy. Take it. Love her. You’ve got just as much right as anyone.”

Calvin didn’t argue this time. Instead, he listened to the resounding ring of his father’s words.
You’re of no danger to her.
If Calvin was being honest with himself, those were the exact words he’d wanted to hear. He needed to be convinced that he
wasn’t
a villain for wanting to keep her. He longed to evade the guilt that surged through him each time he thought of Evie. The voice that haunted when he pulled her close, whispered her name, enjoyed her kiss.

His father had spoken the words. He was of no danger to Evie.

And now, it was up to him to believe it.

Chapter Fifteen

Steam rose from the straining pasta, fogging the kitchen window as Evie eyed the peach tree out back. An entire month had passed since Calvin had shown up at her house, taken her to the batting cages. The peaches were gone now, and the tree’s long, narrow leaves stood out like a splatter of gold against the darkening sky behind it.

While preparing two plates of food, she let her mind ponder over the last thirty, Calvin-filled days, loving that he was such a big part of her life now. Her limbs weakened each time she thought of the warm touch of his caramel skin, the appeal of his flawless smile as he teased her, and his talent for getting her worked up with a single touch.

After drizzling the sauce over the pasta, Evie piled fresh green beans onto each plate. “Dad,” she hollered, “dinner’s ready.”

“I was thinking,” her dad said as he plunked into the chair, “I should take you out to dinner somewhere for your birthday.” He scooted closer to the table. “I know you like to cook, but there’s no point in having you fix your own birthday dinner.”

Evie eyed the remote, wondering why Dad hadn’t turned on the TV. “That would be nice. Maybe we could go the night before my birthday, since Calvin’s got something planned for me that night.” She grabbed her fork and speared a cluster of penne.

“You’re going to spend your birthday with Calvin?” His voice had risen in pitch, but his face gave away nothing.

“Well it’s Friday night, so yeah. We have a date.”

Dad always had a sly way of getting the conversation right where he wanted it. And she could already sense where he was headed.

“Looks good,” he said. “This is uh … what do you call it?”

“Penne Alfredo,” she mumbled, still chewing her food.

“That’s right. Used to be Jessica’s favorite, didn’t it?”

Evie nodded, reaching for the remote and flicking on the TV. An advertisement. Crap. As soon as she set the remote on the table, her dad picked it up, muting the sound before looking at her.

“Haven’t seen Kelly around here in a while.”

Evie couldn’t help but give him an eye roll. “That’s because she lives in Ogden now, remember? Plus she works almost everyday.”

“Ah,” he said, like this was new information.

Evie slid her chair back and strode to the counter, grabbing two glasses. She hadn’t wanted her father to know how badly Kelly’s distance hurt, but part of her really wanted to talk about it. “It’s sad though,” she said, “because what I liked about Kelly is that she never tried to pressure me into doing anything I didn’t want to do. She was always okay with the way I was, or am. So when she wanted to start … doing stuff she knew I wouldn’t do, rather than bug me about it, she just found someone who’s more like her.” After filling the cups with ice water, she returned to the table and sunk into her chair. “I miss her, but I am who I am. I guess our differences finally got in the way.” Evie sighed. Though she understood Kelly’s reasons for wanting to hang out with Tawny, the sting of rejection bit at her insides each time she thought of it.

Dad still hadn’t taken one bite of his food. “Seems like Calvin really likes spending time with you. Comes over most days, calls quite a bit.”

Had he really done that? Yanked the conversation from her dilemma with Kelly and thrust it back where he wanted it? “Now we’re talking about Calvin?”

“Well, he’s the one you’re spending all of your time with now.”

“Not all of it. I’m doing school stuff most of the day and studying while he’s working. We only see each other at nights and on weekends.” Evie looked down at her food, wondering if she’d be able to stomach the lecture he had in store for her.

“Kelly can’t be working all the time,” he said. “I wonder if you could spend some of your time with her on the weekends.”

“You wouldn’t want me going where she goes on weekends, Dad. Trust me.”

He nodded, eyes fixed on a spot at the table. “You’ve mentioned that before. But don’t you think spending so much time with Calvin could be risky as well?”

“Yeah. I’m sure if I was Jessica it’d be risky. But I’m not her.” A hint of regret loomed just beneath those loaded words, but her defenses were louder, stronger. She picked up her fork and shoved in another bite before it could get any uglier. Her dad had no idea what she and Calvin did with their time together.

She took another bite and reached for her water. Maybe that was the problem. He really
didn’t
know. Part of her wanted to speak up, explain that, like Kelly, Calvin didn’t pressure her. And though he’d kissed her that night at the batting cages, he hadn’t kissed her since–not the way he had then, anyway. She wanted to assure her dad that Calvin was a perfect gentleman, and that he hadn’t once made her feel the way Tyler used to. Calvin Knight, unlike most guys she’d dated, respected the person she was.

But instead of saying any of it, Evie reached for the remote and tapped up the volume. It wasn’t like her dad would take her seriously anyway. Jessica defended her loser boyfriend up to the minute he dumped her, and even then she made excuses for him.

“I just have one last thing to say, and then I’ll let it drop.” He reached over her plate for the remote.

“Ugh,” Evie groaned. “Seriously, Dad. I think you’ve said enough. Both of us have.”

He scratched at the graying scruff of his short goatee. “I’ve worked with a lot of people in my life, Eve. And when I watch the way Calvin is with you–the way you are together–I can’t help but be concerned.”

“Why?”
The anger surging through her body made her restless. She tapped on the table while she waited for him to respond.

“There’s a level of intensity I might expect to see after two people have been together for a much longer amount of time. An intensity that usually shows itself after a tragic event of some sort. The way they cling to one another for support and comfort.”

Evie shrugged. “Well, we really just hit it off, I guess.”

Though her father nodded in agreement, his face stayed scrunched and dissatisfied. “It goes beyond that. I think what I’m seeing is a, I’m not sure how to say it…”

Then don’t say it at all.
She pulled in a deep breath, preparing herself for battle.

“The impression I get is that the two of you are almost uncomfortable when you’re not together. Like you rely on the other to feel at peace. That type of reliance can lead to a devastating sense of displacement when the breakup occurs.”

He’d said
when
the breakup occurs–like it was destined to happen. “Hmm. Are you going to eat, Dad? It’s getting cold.” She stared at him, unwilling to say another word.

Concern–thick and sorry–spread lines across his aging face. Lines she hadn’t remembered seeing.

Her shoulders slumped. “I heard what you said, Dad. And I’ll consider it.” With that, she stood up and strode out of the room.

Chapter Sixteen

Evie glanced over the empty driveway, noticing Jack’s truck was gone. “Where’s your dad?” With dinner and a movie behind them, it was already past ten.

“Out of town,” Calvin said. “He comes back tomorrow morning.”

As Calvin walked around the Jeep, Evie took a nervous breath, trying not to get hung up on the fact that it would be just the two of them … alone.