Exhale (3 page)

Kyle’s grin grew and he licked his lips as though he could taste his own satisfaction in the air. “Anything for you, Kat, you know that.” He winked. “So, how about a kiss for protecting your honor and all that crap?”

I opened my mouth and was just about to deny him for the millionth time when Missy let out the most disgusting belch I had ever heard.

“Ew, gross!” Kyle grimaced.

“Seriously,” I seconded.

“If she pukes in my Jeep, we’re spending the night, just so she can clean it up first thing in the morning. I’m not even joking,” Derek insisted and a tiny part of me hoped that she would just for that reason.

When we got to the Jeep, I helped Derek maneuver Missy into the backseat and then I climbed in beside her. Kyle slid into the passenger seat and propped his head up with his hand against the window.  I would give it ten minutes tops before he was zonked out like Missy. For a brief moment, Derek’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror as he put the Jeep into drive. I felt that same shiver from earlier, when his fingertips had brushed against my side, slide through me from my head to my toes. I swallowed hard, and the entire way to Missy’s house, I fought to keep my gaze on the scenery and away from the back of Derek’s head and the mirror, where our eyes might meet by chance again.

My fingers played with a loose string at the edge of my shorts. I was glad I hadn’t noticed it earlier and cut it off, because it was what was keeping my fingernails away from my mouth and the urge to chew on them at bay. I didn’t know why I felt the way I did about Derek. The Conner boys were identical twins, for crying out loud. Just something about him captivated me completely and set my soul on fire. He was all I had ever wanted, but everything I knew I couldn’t have. The three of us had grown up together, and if you pushed Kyle’s joking flirty ways with me to the side, we were all best friends. The risk of losing that was what held me back from expressing how I felt about Derek.

My eyes flickered toward the rearview mirror once more. Derek’s eyebrows were drawn together as he drove, and I wished I could see the rest of his face so I would know if it was just because he was focusing on driving, or if it was because he was lost in thought. He shifted his gaze from the road to the rearview mirror, his eyes locking with mine, and the creases between his brows softened. He inhaled deeply and then blew out loudly, his cheeks puffing up. I smiled, but I wasn’t sure if he could see it through the mirror, before glancing back out my window, watching the darkened houses pass by.

CHAPTER THREE

The second we turned down Missy’s street, my stomach shifted and nervous knots began forming as the fear of being caught coming home at such an ungodly hour by her neighbors fully sunk in. As her brown two-story house—with a light left on upstairs to fool someone into thinking we were there—came into view, my anxiety seemed to intensify. We turned into her driveway and my eyes became glued to her nosy neighbor, Mrs. Janis’ red front door. I was worrying that she’d come barging out shaking her finger and yelling that she would be calling Missy’s parents first thing in the morning to tell them about our drunken escapades with boys in the middle of the night.

This didn’t happen, of course. The entire neighborhood was sound asleep, except the crickets and katydids, so no one was awake to witness Missy’s post-party, after-hours drunken entrance.

Derek shifted into park, but didn’t cut the engine. My eyes flickered to the rearview mirror and met his dead on once again. “Well, looks like Kyle passed out, too,” he chuckled.

I continued playing with the string on my shorts and flashed him a smile. “I kind of figured he would.”

Derek got out and walked around to Missy’s side. He opened her door and caught her just before she fell out at his feet. Tossing her arms around his neck, he gently pulled her out until she was standing. I slid across the seat and through her door before helping take some of her weight off of him. Grabbing the spare key from inside a fake rock in their flowerbed, I opened the front door as quickly as I could.

“Good God, she’s dead weight,” Derek mumbled as he heaved her onto the couch. Missy moaned softly and muttered something about pancakes.

We both chuckled as we stood in the dimly lit living room of Missy’s silent house while Derek’s Jeep idled in the driveway.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said as I walked him back through the living room and toward the door, staring at him from the corner of my eye, my heart pounding beneath my tank top. I reached for the doorknob, my clammy hand grasped the cool metal, while my mind raced for things to say, things that would make him stay for even a moment longer. I wasn’t ready to say good night to him just yet—damn Missy for not throwing up in the Jeep.

“No problem.” His lips twisted into my favorite little shy smile of his, causing my racing pulse to rise into my throat and my mouth to suddenly dry up.

I shifted my eyes away, afraid that he could see all of my covert thoughts about him by simply looking in to them—thoughts that despite my best efforts over the years, I could never keep from entering my mind while in his presence.

“I had a decent time tonight, how about you?” he asked, pausing in the threshold, his face lit just enough by the cascading living room light behind me that I could make out the bright green of his eyes and the crease forming just above his eyebrows again.

I shrugged one shoulder and leaned against the doorframe, thankful for the shadows I knew I was standing in so that he couldn’t see the pink tint to my cheeks his nearness caused. “I guess.”

He nodded and I noticed his hands sinking farther into his front pockets as the crease above his brow deepened. He exhaled slowly and bit his bottom lip. He wanted to say something; I knew him well enough to know that much.

“What?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow, my eyes never leaving his. My heart continued to pound in my chest as a tingling sensation spread throughout my body while I waited for him to respond. A perfect mixture of wishful thinking and doubt filled my mind, as I pondered what he could be so nervous to say in the long, drawn-out moment between when I’d stopped speaking and he started.

“What really happened tonight between you and Cal?” Derek’s eyebrows drew together as he bit the inside of his cheek. “Were the couple of punches Kyle threw his way justified?”

My shoulders sunk slightly and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach like a heavy stone. Cal was not someone I wanted to talk about, especially not with Derek. Nor was that kiss something I wanted to remember. I could feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment, turning from cute pink to flaming red in seconds, as Derek’s attentive green eyes took note of my stance shift while he waited for my reply.

“He tried something, didn’t he?” His clipped tone surprised me. It was something I expected of Kyle, but not Derek.  He was always so calm, cool, and collected.

I shook my head and folded my arms across my chest. “Not really, no.  We kissed…for a while. He sucked at kissing and I wanted to stop, but apparently, he didn’t. More than anything, I think I bruised his ego. That’s why he said what he said.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with him. We didn’t talk about stuff like this. Ever.

Derek reached up and rubbed his chin as a tiny smirk twisted his lips. “So Mr. Big Shot Cal Carlson sucks at kissing, huh?” he chuckled and I relaxed some.

“Absolutely horrible,” I smirked.

“Well, I’m glad you thought so,” he said, his voice sounding a bit awkward, strangled even.

It took me a moment to realize that I was the only one still laughing, but when I did, I became acutely aware of Derek’s deep green eyes locking on my lips. I licked them self-consciously and he cleared his throat. He stepped forward, erasing the space that separated us, making my stomach flip-flop and my heart thump faster than it already had been. Derek was going to kiss me; I could feel it.  Something had changed in the air between us. I watched him as he licked his lips and parted them slightly. A moment of hesitation crossed his features as he questioned whether I wanted him to stop or not without uttering a single word.

I didn’t. I didn’t speak. I didn’t breathe. I didn’t move.

Derek’s warm hands cupped my face, his thumb brushed against my barely parted lips as the green in his eyes deepened, giving way to the inner turmoil he felt over what he was about to do, and I held my breath. In the span of a heartbeat, his eyes closed and his lips pressed against mine, moving in a soft, slow way. I kissed him back, allowing his lips, the feel of his touch, and the taste of his tongue to erase everything else about tonight. I forgot about the neighbors that could be watching. I forgot about Missy asleep on the couch and Kyle passed out a few feet away in the Jeep. I forgot about everything, including what this moment meant, and how it would change everything between us. I only thought of how I’d finally gotten what I had always wanted—Derek.

He pulled away, releasing my lips and my face at the same time. “How was that? Was it any better than Cal Carlson?”

I didn’t respond at first. Instead, I raised my fingertips to touch my lips, saddened from the departure of his and curious to see if they felt any different, because I felt different,
everything
felt different. That kiss had changed everything that ever was between us, and I wondered if Derek knew, if he understood what had just happened, what he’d just done.

“Yeah, it was,” I said, my voice sounding soft and breathy. I dropped my hand to my side and swallowed hard. Blinking once, I realized Derek was staring at me, smirking like a fool. “It definitely didn’t suck,” I confirmed, flashing him a mirror-image smile of his own.

“Good to know,” he said with a little nod of his head, his eyes the perfect mixture of smugness and sheepishness. He shoved his hands back into his front pockets before sauntering back to his Jeep.

I watched as he backed out of Missy’s driveway, his smirk never leaving his face as his eyes flicked to mine repeatedly. That little smirk burst into a full-fledged grin and he shook his head like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done, as he glanced at me one final time before he drove away. I remained standing in the doorway long after the red taillights of Derek’s Jeep faded into the darkness of the night, brushing my fingertips against the smoothness of my lips, while I struggled to figure out how that kiss had even happened. Questions formed in my mind, ones I was terrified of the answers to, but excited by the prospect of them all the same.

A soft moan followed by a gargling sound and then a distinctive splat came from the living room.  I closed the front door with a grimace and held my breath as I went to help Missy stumble her way to the bathroom and assess the damage she’d caused across the living room floor. For her sake, I was praying that she missed her mother's rug and everything had landed on the hardwood instead.

CHAPTER FOUR

You awake yet?

I stared at the text from Derek with a twisting stomach while biting my thumbnail, as I wondered what he might have to say after I answered him.

Yeah, what's up? – Katie

What if he said last night was a mistake? What if he acted as if it didn't matter? What if we never spoke of it again? All of these questions burned through my mind in rapid succession as the seconds ticked away at a nauseating pace while I waited for his reply. My stomach rolled at the feel of my phone vibrating in my hand with his response seconds later.

Is Missy still sleeping?

Where the heck was this going?  I sat up in Missy's bed and peered into her slightly ajar bathroom door. All I could see was the top of her head at the base of the toilet. Yep, passed out cold and snoring loudly.

I think so, why? – Katie

Come outside.

My heart sped up.
Come outside
? Was he out there waiting for me? I quietly slipped out of Missy's bed and tiptoed across her room to the bedroom window which faced the street. Derek's yellow Jeep was parked behind my car and he stood leaning against it with his hands in his pockets.

“Crap,” I whispered, as I began frantically to comb my hair with my fingers.

Be down in just a minute. – Katie

I tiptoed back across Missy's room, found my toothbrush in my overnight bag, grabbed a hair tie off Missy’s nightstand, and headed to the downstairs bathroom so I could freshen up without waking her.  My heart pounded in my throat as I darted down the stairs. I brushed my teeth as quickly as I could, not particularly focusing on removing plaque particles, but more so on erasing any trace of morning breath.  Flipping my head upside down, I combed my hair with my fingers again before twisting my long, straight strands into an intentional sloppy bun. I didn’t want to look as if I was trying too hard.

In four long strides, I made it to the couch where my black, stretchy sweater lay, slipped on my sandals and rushed to the front door. As my hand gripped the handle, I paused, closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath. I exhaled as I opened the door and stepped outside. Derek still stood in the same place. The only thing about him that had changed in the length of time it had taken me, from when I’d peeked out of Missy's bedroom window to when I had opened the front door, was now there was a slight smile on his face.