Familiar Rooms in Darkness (34 page)

‘How could he possibly think that?' Claire's eyes were bright with tears.

‘Perhaps it was something you said along the way. Perhaps it's the way you always harp on about the awfully good set of chambers Charlie's in, and the people you know, and the smart dinner parties you go to, and how fantastic your wedding's going to be, and the great big house you're going to live in, as though those are the only things he's good for. Maybe that's where he got the idea.'

Claire rose from her chair, flaring up in anger. ‘That is so unfair! And what about you? What's so different and great about you? Turning up at every event going, just hoping to get your photo taken, hoping people will recognize who you are, a second-rate actress who happened to have a famous father!'

‘Well, that's where you're wrong. My father was Len Kinley, a complete nobody, a waster and a sponger who apparently never did a good thing in his life, and who
talked my mother into giving Charlie and me away in exchange for money. I never got the chance to know him, but I might have loved him if I had. Who knows? The point is, that's the truth, that's who I am, and I don't care what anyone thinks. Poor Charlie does.'

‘And you think that's my fault?'

‘Not entirely.' Bella sighed, suddenly feeling weary and contrite. ‘I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be hurtful. I'm sure you love Charlie anyway, whatever. But I know he was worried about how you'd react.'

‘Oh, God…' Claire picked up a cloth and dabbed her eyes. ‘How could he possibly think it mattered to me? The only thing that concerns me is Charlie, and how he is right now.'

‘And how is he?'

‘He's just so – so panicky about it. About meeting his brother.'

‘It's not easy to come to terms with a past you never knew you had. I've done it, so I know. Charlie hasn't, and he should.'

‘Maybe all this is why he's been so difficult over the last few months.'

‘Has he?'

‘Oh, God, he can be awful. He's moody, he drinks too much… He can be quite hard to love sometimes. But I do.' Her gaze met Bella's. ‘I genuinely do. Not just those things that you think matter so much to me.'

‘Well–' Bella picked up a cloth and wiped her hands, ‘I think you'll agree with me that it's important that he meets his brother, and that he begins to accept what's happened, and who he is. What he hasn't realized is that
it isn't going to change anything very much. You're who you are. The past is what happened. In many ways, it's helped to reinforce my idea of Cecile and Harry as my parents, knowing they weren't really. That probably sounds stupid.'

‘No, it doesn't.' Claire hesitated. ‘I'm sorry about what I said before.'

‘It doesn't matter. I wasn't very nice either. The important thing is Charlie. I'd like you to help him see that it'll be much better for everyone if he meets Derek and gets to know him. They're very alike.'

‘Are they?'

Bella nodded. ‘Why don't you come out and meet him?'

Frank and Compton-King had gone out for the day. The others were at the table by the pool, sitting over the remains of lunch. Bella introduced Claire, and left them all together. As she went back into the house, Adam came after her, catching up with her in the hallway.

‘Where's Charlie?'

‘Still upstairs. Not in a very great frame of mind, I shouldn't think. He hadn't told Claire anything about the adoption or the Kinleys. He's only just told her now.'

‘Look, I should have realized this before – you can't just expect to throw them together in front of all the others. Charlie and Derek, I mean.'

‘Oh, for God's sake, I don't need you to remind me what a mess I've made of this! And don't tell me what to do!' She put her hands to her face and began to weep. ‘This is all so horrible! It's not going to work, and I so wanted it to!'

Her sudden outburst of anger was the last thing he expected. ‘Hey, come on, come on…' Adam laid his hands on her shoulders. Entirely against his better judgement, he drew her close to him and kissed her hair, stroking her back. It was, he told himself, the best way to comfort her. She wept against him for a few moments. He had never intended that she should lift her face to him to be kissed, merely hoped she would. And she did. He leaned back against the wall in the cool dimness of the hall, holding her against him, as close as was possible, drowning in the pleasure of kissing her. Any doubts he had had about whether or not he was in love with her disappeared. Nothing had ever been so perfect, physically and emotionally – that knowledge, that pure and certain happiness, welled up within him.

Bella drew away at last, but he held on to her, speaking her name in a whisper, over and over, brushing the tracks of her tears from her cheeks with his fingers.

‘I'm sorry.' She gave a little shudder, as though suddenly chilled. ‘I'm always doing this. It's a comfort thing.' She released herself gently from his embrace. ‘I have to go up and see Charlie.'

Adam stood, still leaning against the wall, for some moments. How could she do that? How could she bring him to a pitch of such total certainty, and then just… dismiss it as an aberration, a little needy thing of hers? He couldn't go back outside, not in his present state of arousal. He walked into the living room, sat down on one of the sofas amid a clutter of Gameboys and magazines, and closed his eyes.

*

‘Charlie?' Bella tapped on the door and opened it, putting her head round. Charlie was lying on the bed, arms folded behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

She came in, closing the door behind her, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

‘I've been talking to Claire. I didn't realize you hadn't told her till now.' Charlie said nothing. She stretched out a hand and rubbed his arm affectionately. ‘Oh, Charlie, I'm sorry if I've made a pig's ear of things. I did it with the best of intentions, honestly.'

Charlie sighed, took one hand from behind his head and laid it over Bella's. ‘I know you did. It's my problem, not yours.' He looked at her closely. ‘Have you been crying?'

‘Just a little.'

‘I'm sorry if I was angry. I'm just such a bloody coward about all this.'

‘There's nothing to be frightened of. Derek's lovely.'

‘I feel a hell of a sight better having told Claire. I should have done it ages ago.' He sat up and swung his legs round so that he was sitting on the side of the bed next to Bella. ‘The thing is, you've been quite fearless about all this. From the beginning you've faced up to it and got your head round it. You went and found them, met them. It's as though I've been dragged along in your wake.'

‘I'm so sorry. I didn't think it through properly. I suppose if it had just been you on your own, you would have been happy to leave it all alone. I shouldn't have assumed–'

‘Stop blaming yourself. The point is, here we are, and I've just got to get on with it.'

‘Look, you can't just come down and meet him in front
of everyone. It's not fair on either of you. I'll send Derek up here.'

Charlie was quiet for a few seconds, then said, ‘OK. Tell him to bring a beer up with him.'

Bella went downstairs. As she passed the living room, she didn't notice Adam on the sofa. He had vanished from her thoughts. Halfway across the lawn she called to Derek, who rose and came over.

‘Charlie's up in his room. He'd rather not meet you with everyone else around. D'you want to go up?'

Derek nodded. ‘Which one is it?'

‘Third room on the left, first landing. He asked if you'd bring him a beer.'

‘Sure.'

When Bella had gone, Charlie got up from the bed and went to the window, curious in spite of himself. He stood at the edge of the curtain, not wishing to be seen, and watched as Bella crossed the lawn. He saw the tall man with thinning blond hair detach himself from the group by the swimming pool, and walk over to Bella. That was Derek, his brother. A curious sensation of recognition and fearful pleasure filled him. He was big, muscular, like Charlie himself. Prop-forward material, thought Charlie. He watched Derek cross the lawn and enter the house below him, then went to the door and opened it, waiting. After a few moments he heard feet on the stairs, and Derek appeared, holding two bottles of beer. He stopped briefly at the top of the stairs when he saw Charlie in the doorway. Then he came towards him and held out one of the beers. ‘Hello, mate.'

‘Hi,' said Charlie. He took the beer and stood back to allow Derek to enter the room, then closed the door.

By the poolside, the girls cleared up the dishes from lunch, while Bruce and Bruno went for a game of tennis. Claire had gone for an exploratory walk, leaving Bella to sit anxiously alone, waiting, a half-read book on her lap. She saw Adam emerge from the side of the house through the French windows, heading towards the annexe. He didn't glance in her direction. She was about to call to him, but stopped herself. All in good time. That kiss in the hallway had told her he was hers for the asking, any time she wanted. The trouble was, she almost didn't want to let anything develop between them, half-afraid it would be destined to go the same way as all the other affairs. And she so badly wanted it to be different. She felt tears prickle unexpectedly against her eyelids, and wiped them away. Everything was getting to her lately.

She picked up her book again, but was unable to concentrate. She kept looking at Charlie's window, as though expecting it to tell her something. Then Derek came out of the house. She watched anxiously as he crossed the lawn towards her. He and Charlie had hardly been together for fifteen minutes.

‘Where's Charlie?'

Derek sat down on a sun lounger next to her. ‘Taking a shower.' He took a swig from his half-finished beer.

‘How was it?'

Derek shrugged. ‘Not easy.'

‘In what way?' Bella closed her book and looked at him tensely.

‘I dunno. Just not easy. I thought I might, like, give him a hug or something, but you could tell that wasn't on. He's not like you.'

‘No. No, he's not.'

‘So I said something about how this was a big thing for both of us. And he said yeah. And so I said, tell us a bit about yourself, we need to get to know one another.'

‘And?'

‘And he said he was a barrister, and told me a load about what he did. And he asked me about my business. So I told him. And then I asked him if he'd met Joyce, and he said no, he hadn't. Then he asked me if I'd ever played rugby, and I said no. Then I couldn't think of anything to say, and neither could he, and he said he was going to take a shower, he'd see me later, nice meeting me.'

‘It doesn't exactly sound like a great emotional reunion,' said Bella.

‘It was like standing around at some party talking to someone because you have to, when they don't much want to.' Derek took another swig of his beer. ‘That was what it was like.' He glanced at Bella. ‘I'm sorry. He didn't exactly make it easy. I would have tried to make it all a bit more friendly, more brotherly and that, but he wasn't having any.' He smiled thoughtfully. ‘He's good, though, isn't he? I always used to want a brother.'

‘Not a sister?'

‘Yeah, well…'

‘Don't worry. I'm joking. I understand. I just hoped it would be better, that he'd be really glad to meet you at last. I mean, all those years…' Her eyes filled with
tears again, the tensions of the day rising up in her and spilling over.

Derek leaned over and hugged her, holding her. ‘He'll be all right. You've handled all this a lot better than he has. I reckon he's still confused. Don't worry. Don't worry. It'll be all right. Just give it time.'

From his window, Charlie stood looking down, rubbing his wet hair, watching the pair of them, trying to fathom his feelings, wondering jealously whether Bella could finish up caring more about this long-lost brother of theirs than she did about him.

Compton-King and Frank came back late in the afternoon in high spirits. They unloaded the spoils of their trip from the boot of the Bentley, in the shape of more wine and a considerable quantity of groceries.

Compton-King presented Bella with a bottle of parfum des violettes de Toulouse. ‘ “To throw a perfume on the violet is wasteful and ridiculous excess,”' he declaimed. ‘Actually, it wasn't terrifically expensive, but we thought you'd like it.'

‘If the French police catch you driving over the limit they'll take your car away,' said Bella.

‘I didn't drive,' said Compton-King. ‘Frank did. Sober as a judge. Now –' He pulled items from carrier bags and spread them on the kitchen table. ‘Cheese, fruit, bread, all that heart could desire and more. And two legs of lamb, which I shall personally marinade. Special recipe.' As Megan and Claire put the purchases away, Compton-King began to assemble olive oil, balsamic vinegar, herbs and wine for his marinade, and unwrapped two large
butterflied legs of lamb. He glanced up as Charlie came into the kitchen. ‘Ah! Bella's brother. We haven't met. Richard Compton-King. Hello!' He extended a hand. Charlie shook it. ‘Bloody good of you to let us stay in your fantastic house.'

‘Not at all,' said Charlie. He smiled, recognizing something in Compton-King that cheered him up and made him feel more at home. He indicated the lamb and the marinade ingredients. ‘Can I give you a hand with that?'

‘Of course! Clear the decks, everyone. Charles and I are going to create dinner.' He picked up a bottle and a corkscrew. ‘We'll start with a glass of red wine, shall we?'

Half an hour later, while the dinner preparations were underway, Frank and Bruce began to dispense cocktails of their own devising at the poolside bar.

‘What's in it?' asked Adam, when Frank offered him one.

‘Well, a gin base, plus Cointreau, a dash of fresh orange juice, and a high note of – what was it, Bruce?' Frank turned to Bruce, who was agitating the cocktail shaker in a frenzy.