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Authors: Rochelle Maya Callen

Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) (10 page)

BOOK: Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2)
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27

CONNOR

 

 

 

 

 

I lay down
on the creaking wood floor. The house swayed a bit, too old even to stand still. I held my breath as Nanan lit the candles around me. “Will this hurt?” I asked.

She sighed and lit the last candle.
“Yes, my boy. And it’ll never stop hurting.”

I clenched my teeth, still determined.

“Ya still want to try this?”


Yes.”

Nanan
’s voice rose in a language I couldn’t understand. She raised her hands to the air and rocked back and forth. The house rocked, and swayed and bucked under me. I could feel the whip and howl of the wind even as the candle flame burned brighter and brighter until the whole room was an orangey- yellow and Nanan was no longer in sight. Did she get swallowed up by the flames? I couldn’t think about that. Because just as the thought trickled into my mind, excruciating pain stabbed through me. The pain was too much, as if the world had placed magnets on my sides and they were ripping away from each other. I was being torn in two. I shook as I flung my head back. Nanan’s voice was a whisper above my screams. The incantation wrapped around me. I tried to picture Jade’s face. Why was I doing this? Jade. She needed to be taken care of. I needed to know where she was. I felt tar—something black and sticky and all-consuming seep into me. I flailed away. I wanted to scream something is wrong! But Nanan’s voice rose to soothe me. “That’s Jade, Connor. She is attaching herself to your soul.” My eyes were practically bulging from their sockets. I shook my head. No, this black coiling thing could not be Jade. It couldn’t! Nanan’s voice cooed. “That’s Jade, my boy. She is darkness and light. You’ll sense your girl soon.”

And she was right, just as I thought I would suffocate on the blackness chewing away my insides, a sunburst of light punched through and I felt something else settle inside me. It was calm and confident
; it was heartbroken and real. It was vulnerable and strong. It was Jade. I knew it was... even as my body couldn’t stop convulsing. I felt a sense of peace tremble through me, finding its place to rest. My body’s spasms started to quiet as the flames dimmed and the howling wind died down. It was just me, Nanan’s rough voice, and the lapping sounds of the swamp. I lay on the ground, my body still, except for the random flinching that took hold of my limbs every few seconds. I was gasping for breath. Sweat beaded and rolled down my face, clinging to the collar of my t-shirt. I wasn’t sure if I could ever speak again. I wasn’t sure if I could ever move again. I closed my eyes. My throat was raw and aching. But I didn’t need my voice... I searched inside and tried to touch the new presence that lingered inside me. “Jade?” I waited, desperate and hoping.

There was no response.

 

 

 

28

JADE

 

 

 

 

 

M
y knees buckled
underneath me. Waves of an imploding pain rippled inside my head and I pitched forward, my hands clamped over my ears. I felt ripped apart and strangely stitched together—as if I was an open wound and could feel the slices of skin knit back together in slow torturous stabs. Giovanni was on his knees before me, his strong hands on my shoulders, shaking me, screaming at me, but I couldn’t hear any sound. I heard drums thumping in a quick, staccato rhythm. A scream. And then, I heard my name... a whisper tugging at my mind, a panting familiar voice reaching out to me. A whoosh of warmth flooded into my veins, and suddenly, the world stuttered back to life. Giovanni’s voice punched through my stupor, but I ignored him. Connor. I heard Connor’s voice. I swallowed hard and let the impossibility of it slap me across the face.
Don’t be stupid, Jade. You didn’t hear anything. You. Didn’t. Hear. Anything.

My mind was silent, probing for something that wasn
’t there. It took me a moment to realize that Giovanni was still shaking my shoulders and that set off a firecracker in my chest. Anger—hot and vicious—roared to life. Why was he here? And Connor not? Why did I have to feel so alone? Why did he pick this moment to actually give a damn? I knew I wasn’t as mad at him as I was at myself. It wasn’t his fault that I left the only person I have ever loved in a hospital bed. It wasn’t his fault that I was creating his voice in my head to taunt me. Still, I shoved him away. “Get away from me. I’m fine.” My voice shook, even as I tried to infuse it with heat and confidence.

His concerned wide
- eyes settled back into their complacent, stern expression. He stood abruptly and turned sharply away from me. “I’ll remember that next time you fall to your knees, start convulsing, screaming and bleeding. I thought something was wrong. My mistake.” He never once looked at me while he said any of this. Every word was just a step further away. He didn’t stop. I shuffled to my feet, feeling weak and disoriented. The world tipped over itself and seemed blurry as I took a step forward. I stumbled back to my knees. I heard a brief hiccup in Giovanni’s footsteps, a moment of hesitation. I didn’t look up. He kept walking on. It was then that a drop of blood plopped onto the ground beneath me. I blinked and wiped at my nose. A smear of dark red blood ran across my hand. I sat back on my legs, finally feeling the wetness between my nose and upper lip, tasting the blood as it dripped into the crevice between my lips. What was happening to me? I took in a deep breath and stood up slowly. Giovanni was far off now and I didn’t have the energy to run after him. My steps were deliberate. One foot. Then the other. I wasn’t sure if it was the blood loss, the thundering headache between my ears, or the strange wooziness I felt, but I could almost feel something—a presence in my mind. It lingered there silently, occupying its small space, but there nonetheless. It only took a few steps for me to forget about it, because a few steps later, I stumbled again.

 

 

 

29

GIOVANNI

 

 

 

 

 

I kept walking
, even though everything in me screamed for me to turn around and go back to her. I heard her shuffling and falling behind me. I tried to slow my steps, but it took all of my willpower to not turn around and scoop her up in my arms and carry her. She never complained. Never asked for help. She was fragile and fearless. My shoulders tensed as I heard her fall again. I didn’t know how long I could walk like this... I knew I was reaching my limit. I would turn around soon. After five more steps and another loud plop to the ground, I spun back towards her.

She was face down
on the ground. I ran to her and turned her on her back. She had passed out. “Jade! Jade!” I heard the beat of her heart, and for the first time, thought it was a beautiful sound. She was alive. She was breathing... but what had happened? She didn’t wake as I scooped her into my arms and looked for shelter for the night. She didn’t wake as her head rested against my shoulder. She didn’t wake when I pressed my lips to her forehead.

She didn
’t wake as she whispered in her sleep. “Monsters don’t keep promises.”

All I could think was that neither do angels.

 

 

 

30

CONNOR

 

 

 

 

 

T
he dream lurched
to a stop as I blinked open my eyes. I had seen myself mutilated, and rotten and lying on the ground. But in my dream, I was Jade. I was the creature looming over me. I was the person who reached for me with delicate fingers and an aching chest. And there I had been, dead, staring back at her, telling her that she was a monster. I kicked off my blanket, feeling the thin veil of sweat that made my t- shirt stick to my body and sat up. I rubbed my forehead. What kind of messed up dream was that? Then like a tickle in my mind, I felt a quivering presence. It was quiet and unobtrusive, but it was there. A cold, uncertain thing shuddering in the dark. I squeezed my eyes shut, and rubbed by fingertips in circles at my temples. It was such a strange sensation, like something other in my mind.
I dreamed I was a monster...
My eyes shot open, alert. I heard it like a crystal- clear violin stroke in my mind. I held my breath. Waiting.
I dreamed I was a monster... and I am.
The quiet mass in my mind started to shake and somehow I knew because it was crying. She was crying. Jade was crying.

I jumped out of bed and rammed my legs into a pair of jeans. My heart was stuttering against my ribs
. I was so anxious and excited. I heard Jade in my mind, and I was sure that it wasn’t a trick of sleep and shadows. It was Jade. The Ritual connection had worked. Our souls were linked. I would be able to find her.

Now, I could be with her.

I was flying down the steps and out the door so quickly that I barely noticed my mother calling back to me. I didn’t stop running. I ran until I saw the slightly lopsided roof of the pale -colored house with the attack light on. I ran until I was banging on Nanan’s door. I let my palms rest against the doorframe, heaving in huge breaths. My chest inflating and deflating. My lungs needed more air; my body needed to calm down. But I couldn’t. I was shaking with adrenaline. I head Nanan shuffling down the stairs mumbling. When she opened the door, her cheeks flushed and her eyes brimmed with red— no doubt from crying; I couldn’t stop smiling.

I am coming, Jade. I am coming.
I thought and realized that even my thoughts were breathless.

She took one look at me and pulled me into her doughy arms.
“It worked?”

I hugged her back.
“It worked.”

 

 

 

31

JADE

 

 

 

 

 

I am not
going to stop! I am going to find her!

I startled awake, warm and yet still shivering. His voice had been so clear and fierce in my head. The drawl, the urgency, the familiarity so comforting that it sparked a horrible sadness in me when I realized it was just a voice and not the actual boy next to me. Giovanni looked at me over the fire and I felt immediately defensive as if he could sense all my weaknesses and was marking them off one by one.
“What?” I said sharply. I shouldn’t be the one embarrassed; he was the one I caught staring although I must have just flailed awake. His eyes seemed darker than usual, a redness flared up on the skin on his throat.


Will you ever shut up in your sleep?”

I swallowed. I didn
’t even remember my dream... just the voice that startled me awake. “What—what did I say?”


It doesn’t matter what you said. What matters is that you have to control your thoughts.”


How can I control my dreams?” I snapped back, angry.


You can control everything.”


So what, you can control your thoughts? Your dreams? The little things that creep into your mind?”

Giovanni
’s face flushed at that. At first, I thought he looked embarrassed, but then his composure slid back into place. “I control what I need to.” His face made a little wince and I wondered if he was hurt. I sat up straighter. “Are you okay?”

He blinked at me.
“What do you mean?”


I mean... you, you winced. It looked like you were in pain.”

Giovanni
’s expression darkened. “I wasn’t.”


Do you ever?”


What?”


Feel pain?”

He let out an exasperated sound
, and rubbed the stubble of his jaw and leaned back against the log at his back. “Yes. Of course, I feel pain!” he snapped.


Well, excuse me for asking,” I let out and snuggled back down on my blanket.


We feel all pain. We just recover faster.” I hadn’t expected him to keep talking, so this little admission was surprising.


Really?”


Yes...”


At least you heal fast,” I said stiffly.


Not all wounds heal.” His eyes were intense and staring into mine. It looked like he wanted me to understand something, but I didn’t know the words hidden in his eyes. I ran a hand over the tattoo on my forearm.

I looked away from him
, and settled back down on my blanket and turned my back to the fire and said, “I know.”

 

 

 

32

CONNOR

 

 

 

 

 

“So your mom
burned them all?”

I rubbed my palm against my forehead.
“Everything.”


Well, not everything.” Matt lifted the papers he had brought home with him. “Just... not enough is left.”

I wanted to yell and break something.
“I know.”


Have you told her? Told her what’s going on?”


Are you kidding me? She didn’t believe I didn’t attempt suicide. You think she is going to believe that the world is about to the end and my almost-girlfriend is kinda a demon and I need to find her to save it all?”

Matt
blinked and then shrugged. “Nope. Probably not.”

I looked at Matt
’s bedroom walls. They were covered with posters from old movies and jokes, that even after reading a couple times, I had no idea what they meant. We couldn’t meet at my house anymore. Mom was going to lose it if she heard our whispers.

I stood up and walked to the window
, staring out at the grey sky and pressed my palm against the glass.


So, you... feel her?” Matt asked, cautiously.


Yeah, I do.” I took a deep breath. “It is like a presence in my head. Sometimes, I get a glimpse or a whisper, but then it’s gone.”
It’s always gone too fast.
I rest my head against the window.


What did the old lady say?”

I looked over my shoulder and glared at him.

He rolled his eyes. “Okay. What did Nanan say?”


She says that it is like we have to open the door. We are linked, but we aren’t bound so we have to push our thoughts into each other in order to hear them.”


But if she pushed a thought into your head, but doesn’t even know you are linked... how could she have done that?”

I felt the heat rush to my cheeks.
“Nanan says that means that her thoughts were intense when thinking of me and that’s why they came through.”

Matt smirked.
“Ah, stud, huh?”


Shut up.”


Look at you, you love that. You’ are blushing like a chick. Don’t worry, man; apparently, she still hearts you.”


What kind of guy says ‘hearts you’?”


What kind of guy has a demon for a girlfriend?”

I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t say that. You know that’s not what she is.”


Well, not all she is.”

My fingers splayed on the glass of the window, I felt a surge of cold up my arm. I stared at my fingertips on the glass. Frost laced its way from my fingertips to the rest of the square of the window. I blinked. The glass had completely frosted
“Whoa... Matt! Check this out!”

Matt came over and peered over his glasses at my hand. I looked at him. Another smirk crept along his lips.
“Dude, you’re Ice Man!”

A laugh jumped out my throat.

“Well, at least selling your soul has its perks.”

I stopped laughing
, and when Matt turned away, I snaked my hand back to trace the ridges on the back of my neck. A permanent mark of the ritual. A tie to Jade. I let a shaky breath go as I collapsed into the chair next to Matt’s bed.

BOOK: Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2)
9.42Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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