HER ONE AND ONLY VALENTINE - (17 page)

BOOK: HER ONE AND ONLY VALENTINE -
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Just as she had felt the very moment she had first held her baby in her arms. 'I know.'

'So it's what I want to do to provide for her future, and the rest of the stuff in between we can work out between us. I think we can do that now, can't we?'

'Yes.' She nodded to emphasize the word that came out on so low a tone that it was almost a whisper, her eyes filling as she looked at him. Because there was a huge bubble of emotion filling her chest while she did and she just couldn't stop it from spilling over. It had formed the moment he'd said he loved Lizzie. The only child he believed he might ever have.

'I want to tell her now, if that's all right with you. I don't think there's any need to wait any more.'

He nodded, still staring at her with his intense blue-eyed gaze as he moved another step closer, stopping a few inches away from her body.

'Yes, it's time—maybe after dinner? Then she can ask us both any questions she has and we can talk her through it together.'

Together.
Rhiannon nodded, still frozen to the spot.

He cleared his throat. 'Do you know what you'll say yet?'

She laughed nervously, lifting a hand to swipe at the lone tear she felt streaking down her cheek. 'I haven't the faintest idea. I'm hoping I'll find the right ones when I sit her down. It's not easy explaining to your own child that you're not infallible when you've allowed them to believe you are.'

Without hesitation a large hand rose to her face, where he spread his fingers, snaking them back into the base of her pony-tail while his thumb brushed along the fine line of her jaw until it rested at the edge of her mouth. Then he leaned his face down closer to hers, studying each of her eyes in turn.

'Mac, you've done everything to take care of her every step of the way. And you've done one hell of a job. Whatever you say will be just fine.'

The use of the old endearment hit her again. He'd used it in the stable that day too, hadn't he? How had she missed that? Accompanied by his softly spoken vote of confidence in her when she needed to hear it the most, it was almost too much. And she could feel the wall she'd erected around her heart so many years ago crumbling.

If she could go back in time, she would never have held this man from his child. Why would she? He was amazing. Any child would be lucky to have him as their father. Her own anger, pain, fear, confusion and eventual resentment had held them apart. How could he ever forgive her for that?

As if he could read her thoughts, a small frown appeared between his eyes, the blue deepened, his gaze dropped to her mouth. And, somewhere in the distance, Rhiannon heard stones dropping to the ground.

Then his other hand was on her face, fingers snaking into her hair, thumb moving to rest against her mouth; so that he held her head cradled in his palms with infinite tenderness.

Rhiannon sighed shakily, her eyelids growing heavy.

'Mum?'

Kane stepped back from her as if burned, and they both turned to look at Lizzie's curious expression.

'What are you doing?' She smiled impishly—she had a fairly vivid idea already of what they were doing.

'I'm teaching your mum to skim stones and she was having a crisis of confidence because she can't do it.' Kane cleared his throat. 'You want to learn?'

'Oooh,
yes, I do!'

He retrieved the stones from the ground before she got there, glancing over her head at Rhiannon as he started to repeat the instructions.

And Rhiannon stared back at him, desperate to know if he regretted almost kissing her again—if it had merely been a reflection of the intense emotions they both felt talking about their daughter and her future, or if it had been because he knew how much her feelings for him had changed.

Instead she watched as Lizzie made her first attempt at skimming the stone, her small arm swinging back, the stone flying through the air—skip, sink.

First time.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The decision to tell Lizzie was taken out of their hands by an unexpected arrival when they returned to the house.

Rhiannon had never set eyes on her before, but the warmly smiling woman soon apologized for 'popping by' unannounced and introduced herself as the Chairperson of the annual Hunt Ball, which was normally held before Christmas at Brookfield, apparently. And over a pot of tea at the kitchen table she explained how they had postponed the Ball out of respect for Mattie's passing. Then she announced that they'd like to reschedule, with Rhiannon's permission, of course. At Brookfield, if it was all right with her.

In the space of an hour Rhiannon found herself agreeing to the event being held there for Valentine's Day, as it was a century-old tradition, and with Kane offering to step in and sponsor it, thankfully, while Lizzie bounced up and down at the prospect of a large party and a new dress to go with it, naturally.

Rhiannon was left feeling distinctly railroaded.

But it was outside on the gravel, as they all saw the nice lady to her car, that the damage was done.

'Thank you so much, dear. I know the committee will be over the moon with the news.' She beamed at Rhiannon, looked at Kane with an admiring glance and then patted Lizzie's head. 'And
you
are an absolute darling. I can't wait to see you in your new dress.'

'Me either!' Lizzie grinned up at her.

'She really is just beautiful.' The woman's eyes skimmed up to Kane's face again. 'And you look just like your daddy too, don't you?'

Rhiannon gasped.
Oh, no.
She
had not
just said that!

Lizzie looked over her shoulder and up at Kane, who stared down at her with the same stunned expression Rhiannon knew had to be written all over her own face.

The cheery voice continued. 'Oh, yes, she really is the image of you, there's no denying it. She has your eyes and your hair colour, doesn't she?'

Kane swallowed hard, his helpless gaze flickering to Rhiannon's before they both watched Lizzie turn round and start to slowly work it out.

'Well, I'll be in touch soon.' She pulled open her car door and ran the window down to wave. 'Lovely family. Super to meet you at last. Cheerio!'

Lizzie stood with her head tilted to one side, a frown creasing her forehead as she continued to study Kane's face. And it was only the edge to Kane's voice that drew Rhiannon out of her horrified silence.

'We need to go inside.'

'Yes, we do.' She stepped over to Lizzie and smoothed a hand over her hair. 'Come on, baby. We'll all go into the sitting room and we can have a talk.'

Lizzie silently studied Kane as she walked past him, while her mother grasped her father's hand, tangling their fingers together and squeezing.

He looked down at her as she whispered, 'I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have happened like this.'

His longer fingers wrapped tighter around hers. 'It's not your fault. We'll talk to her together, okay?'

Rhiannon nodded. Because there really wasn't much else to say, was there?

In the sitting room Kane released her hand and walked over to Lizzie, setting his large hand on her shoulder to guide her around the sofa, where he sat down and obviously assumed she'd sit with him.

But, before Rhiannon's wide eyes, she stood in front of Kane and reached her small hands up to frame his face, leaning in closer to stare at his eyes close up. She tilted her head, one chocolate-brown braid swinging over her shoulder.

'You have blue eyes, like me.'

Rhiannon pursed her lips tightly together, her heart twisting, tears filling her eyes as Kane nodded, his voice husky and filled with immeasurable gentleness.

'Yes, I do.'

Lizzie lifted a hand and caught a lock of his short hair between her fingers, studying it carefully before she looked down at the swinging braid, then back into his eyes. 'And brown hair, like me.'

'Yes.'

Rhiannon stepped closer, her hand smoothing over Lizzie's hair again as she bent down. 'Not quite, baby.'

Two sets of matching blue eyes stared at her. And she had to swallow hard to damp down a wave of emotion before she continued, 'You have blue eyes like
his.
And brown hair like
his.
Because, you see, he really
is
your dad.'

Lizzie's eyes widened before she looked back at Kane's face.
'Really?'

He nodded again. 'Yes, really.'

The smile took a moment, but when it arrived her whole face seemed to light up from within, as if everything she had ever wanted with all of her young heart had just been set in front of her.

'I'm glad,' she announced with conviction.

Kane swallowed hard, his voice firmer. 'So am I.'

'Where were you?'

The question broke Rhiannon's heart in two. She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't find the right words, instead listening with silent admiration as Kane answered the question with
exactly
the right words.

'Waiting for you.'

Lizzie threw herself forward, her small arms wrapping around his neck and holding on tight. And Rhiannon watched as Kane's eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up off the ground, his face contorting briefly in what might have looked like agony to someone who didn't know better.

But Rhiannon knew what it was, even before his eyes opened and his gaze followed the path of the fat, heavy tears streaking down her cheeks, forcing her to raise a hand to her mouth to cover a sob.

Why had she ever kept them apart? She knew she would never forgive herself for that. Not after this. Because she'd never have found the perfect words he just had.

Had she ever really known this man? He was so different from the one she had known before and yet in so many ways just the same. She was certainly as attracted to him physically as she had been before, but this new version of him affected her on so many other levels. And the combination of his words by the lake and seeing him with his daughter now that she knew who he was was so heart-rending, so very precious to both of them, that Rhiannon couldn't have not loved him for being the father he was to her child.

She pushed herself upright, watching her child as she turned her cheek against her father's chest, nestling in with her eyes closed and a contented expression on her face. Then, just as Rhiannon turned to walk away, she felt her eyes drawn inexorably back to Kane's face.

He smiled up at her, his heart in his eyes. And that simple smile shattered her completely, tearing her heart from her chest and fading the rest of the world away so that the only thing she could see for a second was him. But she simply nodded, managed an answering smile and mouthed a, 'Thank you.'

It wasn't anywhere near enough, but she meant it, in so many more ways than just 'thank you for being everything Lizzie deserves'.

Fearful that anything more than that would show in her eyes, she stepped back, then turned and left the room, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she left them behind. Because what was happening in that room was nothing to do with her, was it? For the first time in her young child's life there was something that Rhiannon couldn't share, couldn't be a part of and never would. She couldn't stay there and watch as father and daughter bonded, became irretrievably bound to each other. But not because she was jealous or didn't want the bond to exist—not when they both needed each other as much as they did—but because Rhiannon wanted so badly to be able to share in what they had.

And it broke her heart that they were two halves of a family that just didn't fit together to make a whole. Maybe even to make
her
feel whole in a way she'd never felt before.

They eventually found Rhiannon in the kitchen, after a long time in the sitting room with Lizzie sitting across his lap, her arms around his neck while she brightly informed him how very pleased she was to have a dad of her own before she asked a dozen questions about her new family.

But even though Kane savoured every single second of a time he knew he would never forget, he felt the lack of Rhiannon's presence in the room, almost as if there was something missing because she wasn't there.

Not that he didn't deeply appreciate the time she'd given them alone, because he did. But somehow, as Lizzie's line of questioning dwindled a little, it felt wrong not to have her mother there too. So he leaned his forehead in against Lizzie's to whisper, 'Let's go find your mum.'

She held on to his hand all the way to the kitchen, only releasing him to bounce up on to the long bench and announce in an excited voice, 'I have grandparents and an uncle and an auntie and cousins and everything!'

Rhiannon smiled at her from the Aga end of the room. 'That's amazing, isn't it?'

It suddenly occurred to Kane that Lizzie was more excited by that than he'd thought she'd be. Didn't Rhiannon have brothers or sisters? He vaguely remembered a brother somewhere. And, as to the grandparents...

'You already have a set of grandparents, don't you?' He moved further into the room, swinging a long leg over the bench opposite Lizzie.

BOOK: HER ONE AND ONLY VALENTINE -
3.54Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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