Her Secret Sons (5 page)

“Well. I’m sorry I wasted your time in coming out,” he said awkwardly.

“It wasn’t wasted at all. It’s important to build a relationship of trust with a patient.”

Luke nodded. “You’re pretty smart with people, aren’t you?”

“I like to think my ratio of success in relating to people is getting better. I think that’s a hallmark of a great physician.”

He walked alongside her as she headed to her van. “Pepper, I’m sorry for all the times I was mean to you.”

She stopped to look up at him. “What are you talking about?”

He appeared to choose his words carefully. “I’m sure you know I went out with you on a dare.”

Her breath froze tight in her chest. “I wasn’t aware of that, no.”

“Oh. Well, the past is in the past now, I hope,” Luke said, running a thumb under her chin casually before jamming his hand in his jeans. “I hope you can forgive me for any time I might have hurt your feelings.”

He was talking about their lovemaking, she realized, feeling a soft blush working its way over her skin. “I think it’s best not to delve into memories that don’t serve any purpose. How does that sound to you?”

He smiled gratefully. “It sounds like a smart physician coming up with the perfect diagnosis.”

She opened her van door. “I’ll be back tomorrow night to visit your father, until he decides he trusts me enough to at least let me listen to his heart and take a blood pressure reading.”

“Ah, yes.” Luke reached to touch the stethoscope she’d neatly concealed under her blouse. “I didn’t see that before. You are a sneaky lass.”

She moved away from his hand, which was perilously close to her breasts. “Years of treating patients has taught me that there are some ways to proceed that are more effective than others.”

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, then apparently opted for honesty. “It’s probably odd to say this, but I wish I knew the best way to proceed with you.”

She stared at him, surprised. “The existing relationship we have seems to work just fine.”

“Okay.” He nodded with some resignation. “That sounds pretty much like a ‘no, thank you.’ Trust me, I’m very good at heeding those.”

“What exactly do you think I’m refusing?”

He shrugged. “Me. You. Something more than friendship.”

“But why?” She looked into his eyes. “Because you’re scared of being alone with your father and feel you need a friend? Because you’re bored of being in Tulips, already? We’re too old for those types of temporary fixes in our lives.”

“No,” he said softly, “I think it’s just plain old attraction.” He bent his head, sweeping one light, almost affectionate kiss against her lips, then turned away and strode toward the house without another look back.

Pepper stared after Luke, so surprised that all she could do was reach up and touch her lips. She could still feel the imprint of his mouth against hers. Why had he kissed her?

She wished desperately that he hadn’t. Getting into her van, she drove away to pick up her sons, knowing that she was going to have put distance between herself and Luke. There was no reason for him to have kissed her—and when he found out what she’d been keeping from him, he was going to…well, probably hate her. She would deserve that, unfortunately.

Kissing was out of the question. Romance—unthinkable.

No doubt he was bored, or scared of being alone with his father, but she couldn’t allow herself to be his amusement. “Oh, God,” she murmured. “There is no way this can turn out well.”

Secrets had a way of catching up with a person; she knew that. She got of her van out at the Triple F and went inside.

Duke glanced up at her with a smile on his face. He was playing poker with the boys and Zach, or at least trying to, because her boys had their cards facing up so they could be instructed.

The smile slid off Duke’s face after a second as he examined his sister. “Boys,” he said, “snack break. Run in the kitchen and find the brownies Ms. Valentine sent over from Union Junction. She’s testing a recipe for the Fourth of July.”

Toby and Josh jumped up with a whoop and headed for the kitchen. Pepper watched them go with a smile. “They don’t need a second invitation, do they?”

Duke patted the chair beside him. “Come sit down.”

She didn’t want to let her nerves show to her brothers. “I really meant to just run—”

“Be like your sons,” Duke said. “Don’t need a second invitation.”

She sighed, telling herself she wouldn’t mention her worries. It would do no good. “All right,” she mumbled, sitting down.

“Good,” Duke said. “Now tell us what’s wrong.”

Just like she knew he would. Her brothers had always read her so easily.

“Nothing is wrong,” she said, forgiving herself for the tiny fib, but Zach shook his head.

“Your face is pale. Your fingers are trembling.”

She looked at her hands in surprise.

“You might as well tell us,” Duke said, “or we’ll sic the gang on you. Once they start digging, it will all come out, although they do their prying with tea and lots of sugary cookies.”

Pepper looked at both of her brothers. “I’ve left something unsaid, very possibly for too long.”

Duke nodded. “Yeah. Done that myself.”

She took a deep, bracing breath. “When I moved back here, I wasn’t expecting Luke McGarrett to also be back here.”

Duke shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“It does.” Pepper closed her eyes for a second, praying for courage. “He’s the boys’ father.”

Duke and Zach glanced at each other. Then Duke shook his head. “Pepper, we love you dearly. But you didn’t have to tell us this. We’d already guessed.”

She blinked. “I guess it’s pretty obvious.”

Zach nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well,” she said slowly, “I actually meant the something unsaid was that I hadn’t told
him.
The guilt is beginning to undo me.”

“Why are you worrying now?” Duke asked. “Not to be unkind, but you’ve put it off a very long time.”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have,” Pepper said, “though I certainly always felt that I was doing the right thing. Even now, I would say I did the best thing for everyone.”

“Not me,” Zach said. “I would have liked to get to know my nephews sooner. I’m having to play a lot of catch-up.”

Pepper told herself she wouldn’t cry, not one tear. Her brothers had the right to feel this way—she couldn’t blame them for that. “Multiply how you’re feeling by a thousand,” she said, “and that’s how Luke’s going to feel when…he learns what I did.”

“Well,” Duke said, “he’s going to be madder than a hornet, but he hasn’t exactly been a pillar of the community. He’s made plenty of his own mistakes.”

“I made
this
mistake,” Pepper said bravely. “It doesn’t matter what he’s done in his life. It matters what I do in mine.”

Zach scratched his head. “We can help you tell him, if you’re thinking it’s time.”

She bit her lips, pondering her brother’s efforts. “I can’t wait long,” she said. “I was out there tonight, and his father doesn’t seem very well to me, though he refused to let me even listen to his chest. I had my blood pressure cuff in the van but I didn’t dare take that in.” She thought long and hard about what needed to be said. Her conscience was tearing her apart. “It came to me that I’ve also stolen from Mr. McGarrett,” she said softly, “and the worst part of it is, I think he should spend his time left on earth getting to know his grandchildren, if he wishes to.”

“Oh, boy,” Duke said. “You really are ladling the guilt on yourself.”

“Luke kissed me tonight,” she said suddenly. She hadn’t meant to confess that, but her emotions were so confused that she had lost her way.

“Why?” Duke asked.

“I don’t know,” Pepper said truthfully, “but that’s when I knew he had to be told soon.”

Zach was still staring at her. “No wonder you came in upset. Stay away from him until you’re ready to tell him, Pepper. I can’t see any way for
there to be anything between the two of you. I mean, the whole situation is all screwed up.”

Duke nodded in agreement. “He’s definitely going to feel cheated…and mad. I agree with Zach. Lie low until you’re ready. If you need us, we’ll go with you for support. Don’t underestimate how difficult this is going to be.”

Toby and Josh came into the room, carrying milk and brownies and napkins, which they proceeded to serve to their elders.

“You can’t miss out on these,” Toby said. “These are the best brownies ever.”

Duke nodded, his gaze staying on Pepper. “It won’t change things, but at least they are super-good brownies.”

Pepper ate hers without comment. They were very good, but strangely—and unfortunately—Luke’s kiss had been sweeter.

A
FTER THEIR SISTER LEFT
, Zach stared at Duke with a frown. “We may have started a bad thing here.”

“By dragging McGarrett back? I don’t care.” Duke picked at some brownie crumbs on the table and shook his head. “So what? I don’t mind having that on my conscience.” He didn’t, either. Pepper had so stunned him by not telling him that he was an uncle, he could only imagine how Luke was going to feel when her secret came to light.

“I’m surprised he made a move on her,” Zach confessed. “I was struck by instant desire to go kick his ass, but I told myself we’d meddled enough.”

“No ass-kicking,” Duke said, “because then he’d owe us one for not making Pepper tell him.”

Zach nodded. “But we stay out of her business from now on.”

“True. Too many good intentions pave the road to hell.” Duke felt like he was waiting on a sore to heal—and he didn’t think Pepper would find the healing she craved until she cleared her conscience with Luke.

“Are you mad at her?”

Duke raised a brow. “Aren’t you? I mean, you’ve spent time with those kids. They’re awesome.”

“Yeah. They are.” Zach smiled.

“But I respect that she did what she had to do. I’ll always wish I’d been there for her. Sure.” Duke sighed. “I’m grateful she’s come home to Tulips now. That eases a lot of this situation for me.”

Zach drummed his fingers on the table. “I figure our job is to support her now.”

“Right.” Duke thought about Luke kissing his sister, and scowled. “Wonder why he did it, though? Kissed Pepper,” he clarified, grimacing. “Though that’s even less my business than anything else.”

“Why does a man kiss a woman?” Zach said. “McGarrett’s a strange fish. He does what pleases him.”

Duke nodded. That was a valid assessment of the man’s character. Duke just hoped Pepper didn’t get hurt this time.

A
LL
L
UKE’S LIFE
he’d wanted love. Perhaps he’d never couched it in those terms to himself, but he
recognized that hunger inside himself now. What he felt he hadn’t received from his dad, he had never known how to give.

He stopped to ponder his feelings before walking into the den to check on his father. Meeting Pepper Forrester again after all these years had opened a door in his heart he’d never known existed.

Did he want that door opened now? Bachelorhood, traveling around the world unencumbered—those were simple joys and opportunities he enjoyed experiencing to the fullest.

The door, he decided, was probably best left tightly closed. He had nothing to offer a woman. He’d been lucky in a lot of ways in his life, but he’d never tested his luck with one woman—it seemed luckier to stay away from emotions he didn’t know how to share.

He was disgruntled to discover that sentiment felt somehow less than appealing now, like an old bruised apple he no longer chose to bite from and would prefer to toss in a trash can somewhere.

“Dammit,” he murmured, “I shouldn’t have kissed her.”

“Luke!” his dad called. “Bring me a glass of water, would you?”

He blinked, staring into the darkened room, which was lit only by the television screen. Then there was his father who wanted to claim his time, another good reason to stay far away from matters of the heart. Taking care of his dad seemed like a natural transition, yet Luke still chafed at this new responsibility in his life.

Clearly, he was not cut out for commitments of any kind. Best he handle them one at a time, he decided.

But Pepper’s lips had been so incredibly soft, softer than he’d remembered. He’d been too hasty and inexperienced as a youth to appreciate the gift she’d given him.

He went to get his father a glass of water, and to get one for himself. Maybe it would cool him down.

L
UKE WAS SURPRISED
when Pepper showed up the next night, just as she’d said she would, to coax his father into letting her do some light medical probing. “You came,” Luke said to her.

Pepper looked at him oddly. “Of course. I said I would.” She brushed by him when he opened the door, her air professional, and he recognized a distinctive
back off
message.

He couldn’t blame her. He’d caught both of them by surprise when he’d impulsively kissed her. She greeted his father, who seemed annoyed that he had to turn down the television to try to ward her off.

Luke smiled, thinking Pepper looked unbelievably pretty today, fresh and feminine in a knee-length white skirt and a light blue top. Her hair was up in a ponytail so her face was more accentuated, and he decided he liked that look on her, too.

He was beginning to find that he liked a lot about her. Given her annoyed demeanor toward him, liking her was going to be a problem.
Rein it in, Luke.
Once your father’s had enough of you again—which shouldn’t take long—you’re back on the floating bathtub with the general’s princesses.

It wasn’t a heroic thought, but as Pepper bent over to place a stethoscope against her previously unwilling patient’s chest, Luke decided antiheroic was the best attitude to adopt unless he wanted a few layers shaved off his heart.

“It’s not serious,” Pepper said.

“No, it’s not, I promise,” Luke replied, and received the full brunt of her displeased glare as she motioned him into the foyer.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I was a million miles away.”

“Nothing new about that,” she said, her tone a bit more icy than before. “Your father has high blood pressure, which can be easily managed with proper medication. Without a more thorough exam there is little more I can tell, and my suggestion is that he see a qualified internist in Dallas. If they feel it is warranted, they could recommend a cardiologist.”

Luke blinked. “I don’t think my father will see a doctor in Dallas.”

She drew herself up to firmly stare into his eyes. “He gave me his word that he would.”

“Oh?” Luke crooked a brow. “And how did you manage that?”

“I told him if he didn’t work to get some of his more garden variety medical issues resolved, bigger ones would crop up, allowing him a lot less time to
spend with his only son, who has just returned home to be with him.”

Irritation crept into Luke. “I wasn’t planning on staying long.”

She shook her head. “While I’m not surprised, you may wish to rethink that. He is your flesh and blood.”

Luke squinted, thinking long and hard about how he should reply to that, and then decided to throw all caution to the wind. “I really don’t think much about flesh and blood, to be honest.”

She sucked in a breath. “Luke McGarrett, how can you say such a spiritless thing? That’s your father sitting in there.”

“You don’t understand. It wouldn’t matter. Today he says he cares. Tomorrow will be different.”

“And if it isn’t?” Pepper asked, her eyebrows raised.

He reached out to lay a palm gently against her cheek in a soft caress. “Trust me, I know him too well.”

“You
knew
him too well. People change.”

“Why do you care?” he asked, letting his hand drop to his side. “You have no dog in this fight. No pawn in the war.”

“Luke,” she said softly, “whatever was between you has been put away by him. He’s waving a white flag. Can’t you do the same?”

“Did you say you were a doctor or a psychologist?” Luke demanded, unwilling to bend.

Pepper hesitated a long time before she said, “I’m just someone who cares.”

His face broke into a grin he was surprised to find he couldn’t control. “I knew it. I knew there was something between us. You felt it, too.”

She took a step back. “No,” she said, “you’re looking for an excuse. I care about all my
patients
.”

He frowned. “You’re playing games.”

“You’re misreading me.” She walked outside and he followed her to her van. “I need to get to the saloon, so you’ll have to excuse me. I’ll bring a list of internists for your father to choose from tomorrow when I come to see
him
.”

Silently, Luke watched as she drove away.

P
EPPER FELT SAD
after talking to Luke. She drove to the Tulips Saloon, thinking about the depth of bitterness he still held for his father. Everyone in town knew that McGarrett was a tough man with few—or no—friends, and that he’d been hard on his son. Real hard. But she felt pretty certain he hadn’t taken care of himself in a long time, long enough to be doing some real damage that needed to be managed with a doctor’s supervision.