Heroes (Hollywood Heartthrobs #1) (6 page)

          “And you
Nate?”

          “I wanted to
be up in case you called. Sam’s got the boys under control. I’m worried about
you, Dean.”

          Dean took a
breath. This was it, the moment of truth. “Nate, I… I am so, so sorry. I took
my eyes of Alec for a second to help Tucker with his laces and he must have
wandered off the curb and by the time I saw him he was in the street and I
can’t even think about what might have happened and you need to know I love
those boys more than anything in the world and I will never forgive myself for
letting Alec into harm’s way…” Now that he had started he couldn’t stop. Tears
were welling up in his eyes as he saw again in his mind the slow-motion replay
of Alec’s brush with death.

          “Dean, stop!”
Nate yelled into the phone. “Not now, not like this. We can talk about this
later. Pull it together, brother.” Dean fought to get himself under control.

          “Okay, Nate.”
He said finally. 

          “When I came
to get the boys I spoke with the police officer who drove them. She told me
about the girl who… who was injured. That’s why you wanted to stay today,
right?”

          “Yes.”

          “And is she
alright?”

          “She’s
awake,” Dean answered.

          “Okay, that’s
a start.” Nate said. “Do you still need to stay, or are you ready to come home
now? I think it would be good for the boys if you were here safe and sound when
they got up. Tucker kept asking when you were coming back.”

          “You’re
right,” Dean responded. “I’ll take a cab out to the airport, the car rental
places there are open all night.”

          “Are you sure
you’re alright to drive?” Nate asked. “Dean, I can come and get you.”

          “No, Nate,
I’ve got it. But, thanks, brother.”

          “It’s
alright. Just get back here, okay?”

          Dean put his
phone back in his pocket and headed back to Jane’s room. She had turned on the
small television in his absence. There was a rerun of
Friends
on, but
she didn’t seem to be paying it much attention. She had a pensive expression on
her face, but it brightened as he entered. 

          “The hero
returns.” She said cheerfully. “Did you reach your brother?”

          Again, just
hearing her voice soothed him. He wanted to stay, but Nate was right, the boys
needed him. And this woman, broken as she was, could clearly take care of
herself.

          “Yeah. My
nephews are worried about me, apparently. He wants me to get back when I can.”

          “Nephews?”
Jane asked, worried. “They weren’t with you when this happened, were they?”

          Dean couldn’t
bring himself to tell her the truth, not now. “Yes,” he answered, “but they’re
alright. Just a bit scared.”

          “I can
imagine. How old are they?”

          “The oldest,
Tucker, is seven. Alec is five.”

          “That must
have been terrifying for them,” she said, with genuine concern. “You should get
back to your brother’s, put them at ease.”

          “I will. But,
first, you sure you’re okay? I want to make sure you’re alright before I go.”

          The pensive
expression returned. Jane shook her head slightly, as if to clear away an evil
thought. “Yes, I’m fine. And you’ve certainly done more than your civic duty
already.”

          The change in
her expression worried him. He sat down on the end of the bed and looked
closely at her face. “Jane, are you sure?”

          The concern
she saw in his face both emboldened her, and seemed to confirm a terrible
suspicion. She had to ask, and would deal with the answer when it came. “Dean,
before you go, can I ask you one last question?”

          “Anything,”
he said, with obvious sincerity.

          “I want the
truth. You hadn’t met me before yesterday, yet you stayed here for hours to
make sure I was okay. And now, you seem worried to leave me alone. You were
there, and your memory is obviously much better on the subject than mine.” She
took a breath. Whatever it was, it was in the past, and she would move forward
from here. “Dean, did I step in front of that truck deliberately?”

          Dean was
floored. This woman, this hero who rescues children and takes a major head
wound resulting in crippling amnesia completely in stride, was actually asking
him if he thought she had attempted suicide? It defied imagining. He couldn’t
help it, he reached out, taking her hand in both of his. Looking directly into
her eyes, he answered as steadily as he could. “Jane, if you’re asking if I
think you tried to kill yourself, I can say I am certain that you did not. What
happened was a terrible accident. I am absolutely sure you did not intend to
take your own life.”

          The relief on
her face was palpable. Dean cursed himself a coward for not telling her
everything. “I believe you,” Jane said, with all trace of worry gone in an
instant. “I didn’t want to think I was the kind of woman who would do something
that stupid. I want to believe I’m stronger than that. Thank you for putting my
mind at ease.”

          “Jane, I may
have only really met you a few minutes ago, but I think I can say with
certainty, you are much, much stronger than that.” The words were out of his
mouth it seemed before he’d thought them, but he meant them from the depths of
his soul.

          Maybe he
wasn’t so short in the brains department after all, Jane thought to herself. He
sure can make a girl feel special. “Thanks,” she answered. “Well, I guess I
should leave you to make your triumphant return to Tucker and Alec, but it has
been a pleasure to be rescued by you, Dean.”

          Dean realized
he was still holding her hand. He thought wildly that he didn’t want to let it
go. “Jane, would it be alright if I checked back in on you? Just, sort of visit
to see how you’re doing?”

          She smiled.
“I think that would be great. Don’t imagine I’ll get a ton of visitors, what
with not remembering anyone I’ve ever met and all.”

          Without even
thinking, and as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Dean leaned
down and kissed her softly on the cheek. Suddenly terribly embarrassed at
himself, he got up quickly and moved for the door.

          “Well, then,
see you soon, Jane Doe.”

          “Au revoir,
my hero.”

          Listening to
his footsteps retreat down the hall, Jane put a hand to her cheek.

          The trip back
to Nathan and Samantha’s seemed to take years. The comfort and security Dean
had felt talking to Jane began to fade before he’d made it to the elevator, and
the thought of facing Nate and the boys sat like a lead weight in the pit of
his stomach.

          He hailed a
cab out in front of the hospital, instructing the driver to drop him at the
rental car park at O’Hare. He stared out the window, watching the city lights
flicker by, listening to the click of the meter, and trying not to think. At
the airport, a pizza-faced teenager who didn’t look old enough to drive and
reeked of cheap cigarettes waited on him as if he was being terribly rude by
interrupting the quiet of the night shift. Dean was too exhausted and
distracted to complain about poor service. He rented a small, inexpensive sedan
for a week. Finally, the kid slid the key ring across the counter, not
bothering to tell Dean which direction to go to find the correctly numbered
parking space, and stomped off to the back. Dean had to wander around the
parking lot for a while, and it was nearly 2am when he finally got out and back
on the highway towards Nate’s.

          He parked on
the street, careful not to block the driveway. He didn’t have a key, and didn’t
want to wake everyone by ringing the doorbell. Through the curtains, he could
dimly see a light on in the kitchen. He walked around to the back door and
rapped gently. Nate, obviously still awake, ran up to open it.

          For half a
second they just stood there looking at each other. Nate moved first, stepping
out onto the deck and putting his arms around Dean. “I’m glad you’re home,
brother.” He said simply. Dean didn’t trust himself to speak just yet, but
followed Nate in gratefully.

          The kitchen
smelled of coffee. Nate was obviously not on his first cup waiting for Dean.
“You didn’t have to wait up all night, Nate.”

          “It’s
nothing,” Nate replied offhand.

          Dean prepared
himself for his second attempt at an apology he knew would be woefully
inadequate. “Nate, I…”

          Nate cut him
off with a wave. “Before you say anything Dean, I want you to sit down.” Dean
sat down on a kitchen chair like a man going quietly to the gallows. Nate took
a breath. “Did I ever tell you the story about Samantha’s twenty-sixth
birthday?”

          Dean was
dumbfounded. He’d imagined a lot of things his brother might say to him, but
this was not one of them. “What?”

          Nate poured
himself another cup of coffee. “You want some?” he asked Dean. Dean shook his
head. Nate went on, “It was just a few weeks after Alec was born. You know
neither of the boys were what you’d call planned.” Dean nodded. Nathan and
Samantha had married three months after graduating college together, and it
seemed Tucker had been conceived practically on their honeymoon. “Sam and I had
plenty on our hands with Tucker, and when she got pregnant with Alec, I admit I
panicked a little. But Sam was born to be a mom, and she took everything in
stride. I don’t know who’s luckier, Tucker and Alec to have her for a mom, or
me to have her for a wife.” Dean had no idea where Nate was going with all
this, but he wasn’t about to interrupt.

“So,
her birthday was just a few weeks after Alec was born, and I got together with
one of her friends to plan something special. Yvonne was going to take her out
to a spa, with me home watching the boys. What Yvonne and I didn’t tell her was
that I planned out a great meal with all her favorite foods to surprise her
when she got home. She always does the bulk of the cooking, so this was going
to be a special gesture.” Dean could vaguely remember hearing Samantha telling
this story at family events, but he still didn’t know where Nate was going.

“Of
course, she goes out with Yvonne, I start cooking, and I realize I’ve forgotten
a couple of ingredients. Being a moron, I thought it would be no big deal to
pack the boys in the car, rush out to the store, and be back in a tick to
finish the dinner. You’ve probably heard Sam tell the end of this story, where
she comes in and Tucker’s crying, little Alec’s screaming, and I’m covered in
what was supposed to be béchamel sauce?”

“Um,
yeah?”

“Well,
the part of the story even she doesn’t know is how we all got like that. I pack
the boys into the car, get to the store. First Tucker pitches a fit because he
wants me to get the cart with the little car on it so he can ride, but I say no
because I can’t get Alec’s carrier on one of those. I drag him along to pick up
the three things I’ve forgotten, and suddenly Tucker’s shouting that he needs
to potty. We were potty training him at the time, so Samantha had it all worked
out that he could use diapers when we went out in case of emergencies, but at
home he was expected to wear big-boy undies. Again, me being a moron, I had
forgotten to diaper him before we left, and I realize this as he’s about to pee
all over the grocery store floor. I’m racing him to the bathroom, dragging the
cart. When we get to the store bathroom of course the cart can’t fit in the
door so I’ve got Tucker in one hand, Alec in his carrier in the other, and I
leave the cart outside the door. I remember being so elated that Tucker had
managed to do his business like a big boy and not pee all over the floor. I
help him wash his hands, we go back to the cart, up to the checkout, I load the
car, and we’re off. It’s not until I’m taking him out of the car and into the
house that he asks, ‘Daddy, where Alec go?’” Nate took a swig of his coffee to
let the question sink in to Dean.

“You’d
left?” he asked, the horrible realization finally dawning.

“Yep.
I had left Alec, in his baby carrier, on the changing table in the men’s room
at the grocery store. By the time I got back to the store with Tucker, he’d
been there something like twenty minutes. He was sleeping like an angel, never
knew a thing was wrong. I of course was crying like a sissy, so Tucker starts
crying. I got the boys home and just held Alec for a while.” Nate smiled
ruefully. “I was so set on still trying to make the dinner work, but I should
have known I was way too keyed up to cook. So was Tucker actually. I couldn’t
get any of it right. Thirty minutes later, Sam’s home, I’m covered in sauce,
Tucker’s crying, Alec’s woken up from the noise and screaming. We ended up
calling for a pizza once Sam had calmed everyone down. I’ve still never been
able to tell her I left Alec at the store.”

They
were both quiet for a long moment. Finally Nate spoke up again. “The point is,
you, well, you don’t need to apologize. When I think of what could have
happened today, of course it terrifies me. And, honestly, you’re my brother and
I love you, but if anything had happened to Alec, I could never forgive you. No
more than I could have ever forgiven myself if anything had happened the day I
left him at the store. I love those boys with everything I have. And I know you
love them too. I’m not saying that you didn’t blow it today, but, these things
happen. No one can be vigilant every second. We’re human. We just have to pray
that, in those moments when we do slip up, the worst doesn’t happen.”

Dean
could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He said the only thing he could think
to say. “Nate, thank you.”

“It’s
alright. They’re here safe, you’re here safe. The girl, is she okay?”

Dean
paused. For reasons he couldn’t quite identify, the details of his interaction
with Jane weren’t something he was ready to discuss. “She, she will be. Broken
arm and a concussion, but she seems alright.” He hoped his voice sounded
offhand, “I told her I’d come by and see how she’s doing later.”

If
Nate could hear the slight rise in Dean’s voice when he talked about Jane, he
didn’t show it. “Good. Now, you think you could sleep?”

Dean
gave a weak smile. “Yeah. But, first, I don’t want to wake anyone, but could I
see the boys?”

Nate
smiled. “Sure. I thought you might ask. Just be quiet about it.” Nate led the
way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He opened the door at the end of the
hall and stepped back to let Dean look in. Sure enough, Tucker, Alec, and
Samantha were all curled up together, asleep on Nathan and Samantha’s bed. Two
little angels and one grown-up angel.

Nate
closed the door behind him before speaking. “Goodnight, Dean. I’m sure the boys
will be all over you first thing in the morning.”

Dean
smiled. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And, Nate?”

“Yeah?”

“Just
so you know, I feel really lucky to be part of this family. You, Samantha, the
boys, it’s just, it’s a good deal for me. You guys are… you’re great.”

Nate
put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Us too, Dean. And, should the whole
suburban dad thing ever come calling for you, I’m sure you’re going to be great
too.”

“Goodnight,
Nate.”

Dean
left the door to the guest room open. He wanted to make sure the boys felt
absolutely invited to come pouncing in as soon as they were up. Looking out the
window, he could already see a slight tinge of pink at the eastern horizon
indicating the approach of dawn. Laying down on the guest room bed, he thought
he’d trade every good night’s sleep in his life for morning to come quickly
this time.

****

Jane
didn’t feel tired after Dean’s departure, and sat up most of the rest of the
night flicking through late-night television channels, eventually settling on a
PBS Masterpiece production. She must have dozed off at some point, because she
was eventually awoken by a nurse telling her the neurologist would be in soon.
The nurse, whose name was Mather, was a large, florid man with huge hands that
were surprisingly gentle. The neurologist, on the other hand, was a friendly,
petite thirty-something woman with a pixie cut and large red glasses that made
her eyes appear gigantic. Jane liked her immediately.

“Good
morning, I’m Dr. Frobisher,” she said, peering at Jane with her buggy but not
unpleasant eyes.

“Nice
to meet you, doctor. I’m Jane. At least for now,” Jane replied.

Jane
was glad to see that get a smile from the doctor. “So, the report from the
nurse says you awoke last night with memory loss. Anything to add to that?” she
asked.

Jane
shook her head. “That’s about the long and short of it. I woke up last night
here in this bed, I can remember taking to the nurse and one visitor, and since
then I’ve learned a great deal about late night TV, but everything before that
is a bit of a blank.”

“Interesting,”
Dr. Frobisher said. She asked Jane several more questions, mostly ascertaining
her ability to recall things since the accident. Sitting down in the chair Dean
had slept in, she passed Jane a clipboard. She had Jane read a sample of text
as well as write out a few sentences and perform some simple math problems.
Finally she asked Jane to make a series of gestures with her right hand, and at
one point, to wiggle her toes. The assessment took no more than ten minutes.

“Right.
The good news is your faculties and abilities appear undiminished, so it’s just
memory we need to address. The scans taken yesterday indicate a concussion, but
I’m ordering some new ones for today now that you’re conscious. I’ll be back at
the end of the day to speak with you again. I should have more information by
then.”

Dr.
Frobisher’s efficient and friendly manner comforted Jane, but not so much that
Jane couldn’t spot her slightly evasive tactics. Jane decided to make her
stand.

“Doctor,
I need to ask you something.”

Dr.
Frobisher looked a little hesitant, both of them aware she had been caught. She
sighed, not unkindly. “Go ahead, Jane.”

“Am
I going to get my memory back?” No point holding back, cards on the table now,
she thought to herself.

Dr.
Frobisher tilted her head before answering. “Honestly, it’s too soon to know.
You could get all your memory back, none of it back, or anything in between.
This is a very rare condition with a great deal of variation so it’s difficult
to put numbers on.” She paused. “But, I would say you are likely to recover at
least some memories, if not all.”

“So
what do I do?”

“Unfortunately,
you don’t really do anything.” Dr. Frobisher could read the frustration in
Jane’s eyes, even as she tried to put on a brave face. “I know how difficult
this is to hear, but there is not much you can do to try to hurry things. Just
relax, heal, and your memories will come or not come. For now, focus on today.
Try to talk to people, watch some TV, read a book or two. Our volunteers keep a
little library to read to some of the patients, if you feel up to it I can have
someone take you there. Anything seems to jog a memory, say something. I know
it’s like being told to hold the ocean back with a broom, but the important
thing is to stay positive and not be discouraged.” Dr. Frobisher smiled at
Jane. “You’re doing great so far.”

It
was better than nothing, she thought. “Thanks, doctor.” Jane replied. “And yes,
I would very much like to peruse the library.”

“You
got it. And I’ll be back this afternoon to talk more.”