Highland Avenger (9 page)
He wondered if she had thought about all he had said. Brian wanted to believe he had been clear spoken and his words wise but he was not sure of that. Attempting to convince a woman that she was beautiful and desirable when she had been told for years that she was not was not easy. He had certainly never confronted such a problem before despite having knowledge of how damaging words could be. If he were wise, he would get another room so that he did not have to spend the night sharing a bed with a woman he desired and could not touch.
There was no other choice, he decided, after considering it for a moment longer. He had to keep her close to him to be able to keep her safe. Brian only briefly considered sleeping on the floor. After days of sleeping on the hard ground he was not about to give up the chance to sleep in a bed. If she insisted on keeping some distance between them, he could roll up the blankets and place them between their bodies. He could only pray that he could get some sleep with her so close at hand yet so unreachable.
The moment he let her into the room, she hurried to rinse out their clothing. She was draping their wet clothes over the chairs she had set before the fire when the boy and the maids returned to empty the bath. As he sat beside Arianna on the bed watching her braid her hair, he tried to sense if she was nervous or afraid. When all he could see in her face and posture was a quiet contentment, he began to relax. She might not be ready to let him become her lover but at least she was not going to cause any trouble about them sharing the room. He was getting a little weary of suffering for that idiot Claud’s many sins against her.
As soon as the youth carried away the now empty bath, two maids arrived with the food Brian had ordered. The scent of warm bread and roasted chicken made his stomach growl. Brian smiled faintly when Arianna laughed and then he dragged the table over to the side of the bed.
“I didnae think on how we would have need of those chairs for our meal,” Arianna said as Brian sliced off large pieces of the chicken and set them on her plate.
“Our clothes needed the washing. Eat up, love. We will be back to oatcakes and the occasional rabbit all too soon.” He grinned when she groaned but then turned his full attention to his meal, unable to ignore the needs of his stomach any longer.
Arianna looked at her shift and sighed, then hoped that Brian could not hear her behind the privacy screen where she had gone to change for bed. The worn, roughly mended shift was not something to wear to entice a man—even if she knew how to be enticing. The only improvement in her appearance for days was that she was clean. She now wished she had saved the plain linen shift Brian had bought along with the extra gown instead of immediately donning it. It might be a very plain shift, but it was unstained and not mended.
She shrugged. It was all she had and she would not allow that to stop her. Tonight, in that big soft bed, she intended to conquer her fears, to silence Claud’s insidious whispers in her mind. Arianna knew it was too soon to completely banish the man and rid herself of his poison, but she could prove to herself that the one who had failed in their marriage bed had been Claud, not her. It did not matter that the whole marriage was a lie, for that did not change how he had left her believing that she was a failure in the art of love. Tonight she intended to find out if that was true. Taking a deep breath to shore up her courage, she stepped out from behind the screen and started to walk toward the bed.
The sight of Brian already in the bed, propped up by pillows, his broad chest bared to her view, made her steps falter. Arianna tried not to stare at his chest but it was hard to resist. The man had a broad chest taut with muscle and adorned with only a small patch of dark hair. His skin was smooth and faintly swarthy in color. It also showed her that she was about to take on an awful lot of man as a lover. Someone so handsome and virile might not be the best choice for her first attempt to discover if she could be a passionate lover.
Stiffening her backbone and refusing to allow uncertainty to change her mind, she climbed into the bed. Lying close by Brian’s side, she imitated his pose and stared up at the ceiling. Now all she had to do was say something that would let him know she was ready to test the passion that flared between them. Unfortunately, her mind offered her not one suggestion. She had never really requested Claud’s attentions and lying on her back staring up at the ceiling was all he had ever really required of her.
Arianna decided that she could lie there all night staring at the ceiling, her mind empty of any clear yet subtle hint of willingness she could give Brian, or she could act. A timid part of her whispered a third choice, that she could just forget the whole thing. Arianna ignored that timid side of herself, rolled onto her side and came face-to-face with Brian. She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she had never felt him turn toward her.
“I have been thinking about what ye said, ye ken, that last time we kissed and I, weel ...”
“Ran away?” Brian fought down the eagerness he could feel building inside, the anticipation that had his body already taut with need.
“Weel, aye.” Arianna reached out to stroke the broad, smooth chest she could not stop admiring. The way his skin felt beneath her hand sent a shiver of delight through her.
“I remember it all verra weel. Have ye decided ye will now cast off the chains Claud wrapped ye up in?” In his head, Brian was close to begging that that was so.
“Aye, but ...”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Nay, dinnae say
but.
Dinnae torment a poor mon, love. Aye or nay.”
but.
Dinnae torment a poor mon, love. Aye or nay.”
“Aye, but when we are done, if I do it all wrong or verra badly, can ye just politely tell me what I did wrong and how I might improve?” She knew any criticism, any cold words from him, would crush her.
“’Tis clear there are a few chains left to shake off. Love, ye may lack a skill or two yet but I doubt ye can do this badly. I have tasted the passion ye have inside. Ye just have to set it free.”
Before she could argue that and tell him that it could not be that easy, he kissed her. Arianna sank into his arms without hesitation. The fact that she loved his kisses, reveled in the heat of them, was one reason she now dared to go further than kisses. She stroked his broad shoulders and back and beneath her hands the heat of his skin sank into her, warming her blood. By the time he broke off the kiss, she was so swept up in the desire racing through her that it took her a moment to be aware of the fact that he was yanking her shift off her.
“Ye wish me to be naked?” she asked, and wondered if she had truly just heard him call Claud a horse’s arse. “Are ye certain I should be naked?”
“Aye, I want ye naked and I want me naked. I want us skin to skin. I want to feel your soft heat touching me everywhere it can touch me.”
“Oh.”
She was flushed with an odd mixture of embarrassment and anticipation. He tossed aside her shift and slowly pulled her into his arms. Fear crept in when he stared at her naked body and she fought it, seeing no condemnation in his gaze. She dared not trust her own judgment in thinking he looked hungry for her, even approving what he saw, but the lack of cold dislike in his gaze was enough to ease the fear that was trying to chill the warmth of her desire.
When their flesh touched, she shuddered from the pleasure of it. He was hard muscle covered with surprisingly soft skin. Arianna wanted to rub herself all over him.
“Oh,” she whispered again. “Oh, my.”
He laughed against her throat but his amusement rapidly faded beneath a pounding urge to taste, to touch, and to possess. Brian fought to control the need tearing at him. Arianna needed more than some frantic coupling. She might not be a virgin but she was wounded in heart and mind. He had to make absolutely certain that her desire was stirred into a greedy fever and that she was fully aware of the fact that he burned as she did. Even though he doubted his skill at such things, he also knew that he had to give her a lot of flattering words, praise for her beauty, and her passion. Claud had given her nothing but insult and humiliation, and Brian was determined to keep the man’s cursed ghost from sharing this bed with them.
Arianna could not catch her breath. She was panting like a hard-run hunting dog. Beneath Brian’s caresses her flesh burned. When he stroked the aching tip of her breasts with his tongue, she barely stopped herself from screeching in shock at the pure heat it sent through her body. She did not have to urge him to do it again, which was good, for she was unable to speak coherently. Instead she wove her fingers through his soft, thick hair and held him close as he licked, nipped, and suckled her breasts until she thought she would go mad from the pleasure it brought her. He kept telling her how good she tasted, how soft her skin was, how much he wanted her, and even how beautiful her breasts were, his words stirring her as much as his touch. The almost constant sound of his deep voice held her entranced and, even though she doubted the truth of his flattery, it pleased her.
The tension of what she now recognized as her need for him curled hot and tight in her belly. When Brian slid his hand between her thighs she fleetingly stiffened, uncertain about the intimate caress she had never experienced before. He said nothing about the reddish curls sheltering her womanhood, only murmured compliments about the heat she was gifting him with. The way he stroked her, dipping his finger in and out of her in imitation of what he would soon do with the hard length he rubbed against her thigh, had her arching into his touch. And still she wanted, needed, more.
It was not until he began to join their bodies that a little of passion’s haze began to clear from her mind. With Claud this was what had been the most tedious and embarrassing part and the one that had then become painful. She had barely begun to go rigid, bracing herself for the stinging pain, when Brian was inside her. Arianna blinked in surprise, holding very still until she was certain that there had been no pain and would be no pain.
When he rose up on his forearms and touched his lips to hers, Arianna flung her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion swirling inside her, and a touch of gratitude. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, stroking her with his tongue in the same rhythm he used to move his body in and out of hers. She was filled with him, stretched further to hold him than she had ever been with Claud, yet there was still no pain. He tugged her legs around his waist and she gasped in delight as he plunged even deeper within her.
She could hear herself making soft noises as he moved within her, rubbing against her where their bodies were joined in away that increased the pleasure he was giving her. The knot low in her belly grew tighter and tighter with each thrust of his body until it was nearly painful. She was just beginning to wonder if she could ever make love without pain when that knot snapped, filling her veins, her heart, even her mind with the purest bliss. Arianna was faintly aware that she called out his name. A heartbeat later, he thrust deeply, held fast there inside her, and his body shuddered as he spilled his seed.
Though weak, in a way she thoroughly enjoyed, Arianna held him close and savored the lingering flush of pleasure. She liked the damp warmth of his breath against the curve of her neck, liked the damp touch of sweat coating his broad back, and especially liked the faint trembling that afflicted him for several moments after he collapsed in her arms. With Claud she had been glad when he had abruptly left her arms, but she wanted to cling to Brian, wanted to hold him deep inside her for as long as possible.
This was what the women in her clan had sighed over, had tried to get her to understand. This was passion, that deep, wild hunger that her husband had never given her. Even better, this was a passion that was shared. She suspected she was not completely free of her doubts that she could please a man, but for right now she was certain that the man in her arms had been pleasured most thoroughly. The cure for the wounds Claud had given her was probably not complete but she did not care for she was certain that the healing had begun. If she was not so tired she could not even keep her eyes open to appreciate the beauty of the man sprawled in her arms, she would have gotten up to dance around the room.
“I did weel, aye?” she whispered as she allowed exhaustion to finally claim her.
Brian slipped from her lax hold and dragged himself out of bed to fetch a damp cloth. Once he had cleaned them both off, he crawled back into bed and pulled her into his arms. He took a moment to enjoy the sight of her naked body from the fullness of her rose-tipped breasts to the gentle curve of her waist. He especially liked the lean strength of her legs. Even more so when they were wrapped around him, that strength used to hold him close while he buried himself deep within her wet heat.
It was hard to understand how a woman like her could think herself unable to please any man she chose to gift with her favors. Her passion ran hot and wild once she stopped running from it. Claud had tried to kill that sweet heat, left it unsatisfied and then denigrated her. If the man were not already dead, Brian would have been willing to go to France to kill him.
He touched a kiss to the top of her head and smiled against her silken hair. “Och, aye, love. Ye did weel. Verra weel indeed,” he murmured before allowing himself to follow her into sleep.
Chapter 7
Arianna woke to soft, warm lips upon her cheek and a big calloused hand stroking her breast. For a moment, she thought herself back in her marriage bed but then the last dregs of sleep released her mind. Claud had never been affectionate like this. Her eyes widened as she abruptly recalled everything that had happened before she had fallen asleep.
She was curled up in bed with Sir Brian MacFingal, naked and wrapped in his arms. She had taken a lover. She had taken a big, strong, handsome lover many women would envy her for. She had also enjoyed every minute of it. That still astonished her as much as it pleased her right down to her toes. Claud had been very wrong. She was not cold.
Even as she began to smile, fear crept in, rapidly dimming her pleasure. Arianna could not deny that she had finally tasted that pleasure her kinswomen all talked about, but had Sir Brian really experienced the same pleasure? She had felt him spill his seed inside her but Claud had done the same. When she had foolishly given her opinion that that showed he had found pleasure with her, he had laughed. Claud had then told her that a man could rut with a hole in the ground, which he had said was a good thing for she was not much livelier. Had she misjudged the depth of the pleasure Brian had experienced?
When those soft, warm lips touched the corner of her mouth, she recalled something else Claud had often said. She had once attempted to kiss him in the morning upon awakening and he had roughly pushed her away, claiming that in the morning she had breath akin to the bottom of a garderobe shaft. Arianna clapped a hand over her mouth and pulled away from Brian.
Brian tensed and looked at Arianna where she now balanced precariously on the far edge of the bed. His annoyance over what had appeared to be a rejection despite all they had shared before falling asleep turned to confusion as he studied her. She did not look as if she now regretted what they had shared, nor did she look angry. She looked nervous and just a little afraid, rather like someone who expects some sort of blow to fall at any moment.
“What is wrong?” he asked, fighting the urge to reach for her for, if she backed away again, she would topple right out of bed and onto the floor. He was also getting tired of the way she kept fleeing his arms.
“I need to clean my teeth,” she said, her hand still over her mouth muffling her words.
“Why? Ye did it ere ye climbed into bed and ye havenae eaten anything since then.”
“’Tis needed. Claud said I had foul breath in the morning.”
“Nay, ye dinnae.” If Claud were not already dead and buried, Brian thought yet again, he would gladly kill the fool, but only after beating him soundly first.
“How could ye ken whether I do or nay? We havenae kissed. Claud ne’er kissed me in the morning if we woke together for he said that my breath when I first woke rivaled the stench of the garderobe.”
“Claud was an idiot. Ye were sleeping with your mouth open, lass. If ye had breath that foul I was close enough that I would have smelled it. When will ye believe that the mon was probably angry that he didnae have the courage to tell his family the truth, that he had gotten himself caught up in a tangle of lies, and ’tis verra clear from all ye tell me about him that he wasnae a mon to shoulder his own blame. So, he spat his anger out at ye. I cannae say it enough. That was all it was, lies meant to beat ye down.”
“He ne’er hit me,” she said, cautiously removing her hand from her mouth.
“Aye, he did, and weel ye ken it, though ye seem to forget it quickly. All my words of wisdom cast aside like sad refuse,” he murmured, and almost smiled at her glare for it showed she still had her spirit. “He struck out at ye often, I am thinking. With words. Ye ken weel that they can hurt and scar as easily as fists.”
Arianna stared at him as she thought over what he had said. She had been casting his words from her mind, not really thinking much on them. Words
could
scar. She knew that in her mind, but deep in her heart Brian’s wise words had not yet taken hold. Constant criticisms could beat one down as thoroughly as fists. Claud was always criticizing her when he was not ignoring her or burdening her with all the work he should have been doing himself. The way he had so flagrantly favored his mistress over his wife had also left its scars, if only because such actions silently strengthened every criticism he had flung at her. Arianna was not sure how she could heal those scars for his sharp insults and unending criticisms still whispered through her mind. She had, after all, thought she had cured herself of Claud’s criticism of her worth in the bedchamber yet, with the rising of the sun, had fallen into the same old trap.
could
scar. She knew that in her mind, but deep in her heart Brian’s wise words had not yet taken hold. Constant criticisms could beat one down as thoroughly as fists. Claud was always criticizing her when he was not ignoring her or burdening her with all the work he should have been doing himself. The way he had so flagrantly favored his mistress over his wife had also left its scars, if only because such actions silently strengthened every criticism he had flung at her. Arianna was not sure how she could heal those scars for his sharp insults and unending criticisms still whispered through her mind. She had, after all, thought she had cured herself of Claud’s criticism of her worth in the bedchamber yet, with the rising of the sun, had fallen into the same old trap.
“Are ye certain he lied?” she asked, tentatively moving closer to him.
“Jesu, lass, I would tell ye if it was so bad that ye should clean your teeth ere I kiss ye. Foul breath in the morning curses us all from time to time and ’tis nay something to fret o’er but, I swear to ye, yours isnae foul.”
Brian pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She tensed as if she feared he would begin to gag and push her away, but quickly softened in his arms. The way she fit so snugly there, her silken flesh warm against his skin, had him hard and hungry for more of what they had shared last night. When she twined her slim arms around his neck and pressed her lithe body even closer, he decided there was no harm in lingering in bed for a while longer.
His body soon let him know that there would be no lingering. Despite his efforts to control his desire, it rose up fast and greedy. To his delight so did Arianna’s. Her body welcomed him with all the heat any man could want. He could sense her pleasure in her every sigh as he drove them both to passion’s heights. They reached that pinnacle together, her husky voice crying out his name music to his ears as he emptied himself inside her.
It was a long time before he found the strength to pull away from her. The heat of her surrounding him and the way she idly caressed his body with her small, soft hands, as if she truly liked the feel of him, had him eager to remain joined with her. That need had never been there with any other woman and Brian knew he should seriously consider what that meant. Later, he thought, as he gave her a quick kiss and moved to get out of bed.
In truth, it did not really matter if he ever sorted out all he was feeling for Lady Arianna Murray Lucette. She was not for him. She was better born and far richer than he was, used to the finer life he and his kinsmen were only beginning to see glimmers of. The widow of a French
comte,
a woman born of a clan connected in some way to half the clans in Scotland, both notorious and influential, was too high a reach for one of the youngest of the eleven legitimate sons of Fingal MacFingal. It was true that his brother Gregor had married a Murray, but Alanna had been a maid and they had traveled together. The need to honor her with marriage after that overcame any other considerations as to whether Gregor was worthy of the lass or not. Arianna was a widow and those demands would not be directed at him when he finally got her settled with her family. There was no maidenhead to be lost here.
comte,
a woman born of a clan connected in some way to half the clans in Scotland, both notorious and influential, was too high a reach for one of the youngest of the eleven legitimate sons of Fingal MacFingal. It was true that his brother Gregor had married a Murray, but Alanna had been a maid and they had traveled together. The need to honor her with marriage after that overcame any other considerations as to whether Gregor was worthy of the lass or not. Arianna was a widow and those demands would not be directed at him when he finally got her settled with her family. There was no maidenhead to be lost here.
He grimaced as he slipped behind the privacy screen to wash up and relieve himself. His clan was a jest in many ways, made up of his father and all the sons he had bred in and out of the marriage bed. It was the result of a man being angry with his true family and clan and, like some spoiled child, deciding to make his own. The only claim to fame they might have was that his father was a prodigious breeder of sons. The acknowledgment of their ability as fighters was growing, but slowly, and it did not even begin to equal the place of honor so many Murrays held. Considering how many of his brethren acted, they were more notorious than honored.
No, Lady Arianna was not for him. Brian just wished that he did not want her so badly. He had the brief thought that he could probably tie her to his side with the passion they shared, or even a child, but quickly shook it aside. Her clan had already climbed free of the mire of their rough beginnings. He could not drag her down into that again and it would be a long time before his clan got much beyond the struggle to just survive. He was going to have to keep their affair no more than a sharing of pleasure, and keep his heart from yearning for more. The problem was, he feared he was already far past that.
The moment Brian stepped out from behind the privacy screen, Arianna dashed behind it. She had donned the shirt he had given her for it was easier to find than the shift he had tossed aside in the night, but it was not very modest since it barely reached her knees. Then she realized it was more than simple modesty that made her rush to hide behind the screen, that she feared he would retreat from her once he clearly saw how little her thin body offered a man. A man liked rounded curves, flesh on a woman’s bones to cushion his body, and found the reddish hair covering her privates to be common and gaudy.
She softly cursed. It was Claud whispering his denigrations in her head again. She had never been vain but she had always believed herself to be moderately appealing to a man’s eyes. Until Claud. Until he had found fault with everything from her face to her feet, some of the criticisms poorly disguised as kindly suggestions on how she might improve herself. By the time she had caught her first sight of the buxom Marie Anne, Arianna had been quick to see just how much she lacked compared to her husband’s mistress. It had also given his family and his people all the excuse they needed to show her their scorn. Brian had now seen her naked and she had seen no hint of the disdain Claud had always shown her, but the fear of it lingered.
What had she allowed him to do to her? Arianna began to think that the scars his cruel words had left ran far, far deeper than she had believed. It was embarrassing to realize how much she had let him say to her without retribution, and how much of it she had taken to heart. She should have been stronger than that, should have believed more strongly in her own worth. What frightened her was that, if she did not hold a strong belief in her own worth, how would she find the strength to rid herself of Claud’s poison?
Even worse, if she did not believe in her own worth, how could she hold fast to a man like Sir Brian MacFingal? And she admitted to herself that she did want to hold on to him, tightly. For a moment she feared she was letting her first taste of passion trick her into thinking there was more to what she felt for him than lust, and then she shook that doubt aside. What she felt for the man had been born from the moment she had opened her eyes on that beach and looked into his. Everything that had happened since then had only strengthened it.
“So much for keeping my distance and allowing this to be no more than a simple affair,” she whispered angrily as she finished relieving herself and then began to wash up.
“Are ye all right?” asked Brian.
“Aye, just talking to myself. I will be ready in a few moments.”
Brian frowned at the screen. He had not been able to understand what she had said but the anger behind the words had been clear. Anger was not what he wanted her to be feeling after they had made love. Before he could ask her what she was angered by, a loud banging came at the door.
“Frenchmen, Sir Brian,” said Molly the moment he opened the door.
“At the inn?” He moved to pack their things, already planning how to slip away.
“Will be soon. My youngest lad came to tell me they were asking for a good inn to stay at and had been directed here.”
“Ye have a back way out of here?”
“I do, and I have already told the lads to have your horses readied and waiting for ye behind the stables.” She glanced at Arianna as she ran out from behind the screen still lacing up her gown. “This is about more than ye taking some lass for a wee bit of pleasure, isnae it?”
“A lot more, but I havenae the time to tell ye. ’Tis life or death, hers and two wee laddies. I would suggest that ye keep those burly lads of yours close and armed. This isnae some group of simple travelers.”
“That be what my lad said as he wasnae sure we would be wanting them staying here. Come with me. I will show ye the best way to slip out of here.”
Brian grabbed a pale Arianna by the hand, cast a last longing look at the bed, and followed Molly. He had hoped they could rest for a little while. He had also hoped to savor Arianna’s passion in the comfort of a bed a few more times, if only to make it very clear to her that she was not only desirable, she also satisfied him.
In truth, she satisfied him in ways he had never felt before. Not only did she stir his desire to heights it had never reached in another woman’s arms, she left him far more sated than any other had, too. Brian knew it was going to be very hard to let that go.
As they slipped through the back garden of the inn and to the rear of the stables, Brian could hear the voices of Amiel’s men. The stable boys were clearly trying to delay the men, holding them outside the stable with a long, torturous bargaining over the cost of caring for so many horses. He was tempted to go and see what he might learn, but one look at the fear on Arianna’s face had him pushing that idea aside. He could not take the risk when she was so close to her enemies.
He kissed Molly on the cheek and then lifted Arianna up into the saddle as he said, “I thank ye, Molly. Best ye get back inside the inn to greet your new guests.”
Other books
Wolf Hunt by Jeff Strand
A Question of Despair by Maureen Carter
Tingle All the Way by Mackenzie McKade
American Mirror: The Life and Art of Norman Rockwell by Deborah Solomon
Angel by Elizabeth Taylor
His Wedding-Night Heir by Sara Craven
The End by Chiang, Justin
Breakfast in Stilettos by Liz Kingswood
5 Steps to a 5 AP Psychology, 2010-2011 Edition by Maitland, Laura Lincoln
Fair Catch (Love and Sports Series) by Quinn, Meghan