His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance)) (10 page)

“No, you are right, no comparison can be made,” she replied with a twisted smile. “For no matter how brief a time, she at least had your love,” and turning abruptly from him, she ran to the door, flinging it wide.

“Caro,” he called after her, but she was gone.

Anger and frustration raged within his breast and his first reaction was to go to Christina to lay accusations at her feet, but he realized that to visit Curzon Street would only lend credence to her lies should Caroline become aware of his actions. He returned to his seat behind the desk resting his forehead on his clenched fists, all manner of thoughts chasing through his mind
, and remained thus, unaware of the passage of time.

*****

Eventually his thoughts were penetrated by the sound of the footman calling for My Lady’s carriage. Realizing that Caroline was leaving to attend Lady Paxton’s soiree, he could not bear the thought that she should depart without some semblance of peace existing between them and, to this end, he went to stand at the foot of the stairs, awaiting her arrival.

Seeing her husband thus waiting, Caroline halted her descent, her hand going nervously to her throat, her pale countenance showing a deal of apprehension.

“Come Caro,” he said placing his foot on the bottom tread and extending his hand to her.

Noting her reluctance to continue down the stairs, and as she gave no answer, he said softly, “Have no fear
—I will not threaten to fetch you as I did earlier. This is a request, if you choose not to come, then I am well served. I will not press you.”

Slowly she descended the staircase toward him, but she did not take his hand, only standing before him as she achieved the hall.

“You need not be concerned, Richard,” she said, her voice and features remaining cool. “I am well composed now and I realize the foolishness of my outburst. Your actions are no concern of mine, you made it plain from the start that we should order our own lives. I cannot complain.”

“What nonsense is this,” he replied keeping his voice low, mindful of the footman returning to the hall with news of the carriage. Taking her hand, he felt the coolness of her fingers. “Come, will you not grant me a few moments before you leave?”

“Will it serve? Is it of any purpose?” she asked searching his face.

“I believe that it is,” he replied, and retaining her hand, turned toward the small salon at the rear of the house.

Drawing her to sit beside him on the gold damask couch, he studied her averted countenance for a moment, noting her pallor and disinclination to meet his gaze. “My dear Caro,” he said quietly, “when I asked you to marry me, I made all manner of statements, even believing that a degree of contentment may be accomplished by the arranging of our own separate lives. I was foolish. It may serve others, but I believe we fare better than that. Indeed, a degree of harmony has been achieved, and I would be reluctant to lose it. We cannot allow Christina and her lies to come between us. Tell me what assurances would satisfy you, and I will promise to give them.”

She met his intense gaze evenly and, seeing the sincerity there, she knew she was no proof against it and said, “You gave me your word that the association was ended, Richard, that is all the assurance I need.”

Catching her hand, he pressed a caress into her palm. “My dear, once more you give me your understanding, understanding which I scarce deserve. I swear, I will never give you cause to regret it.”

Caroline rose abruptly from the couch, unable to bear the earnestness in his voice. “I must leave for Lady Paxton’s, it will be unforgivable should I arrive late.”

Quickly he was on his feet before her, his hands reaching for her shoulders of their own volition. “Can’t we consign Amelia Paxton to the devil, Caro?” he said softly. “Will you not spend the evening with me instead?”

Unable to resist the temptation she smiled up at him. “I would like that,” she said shyly. “I had no great desire to go
—it was only to please Victoria.

“Your apologies will be made,” he said, delight sounding in his voice, “and I shall have your company.”

*****

Depositing his length into the hearthside chair, Lord Massey accepted a glass of claret from Lady Christina, saying with a sneer, “’Twould appear your little tête-à-tête with the young bride did not bring about the desired results. Dent reported that husband and wife were seen riding together in the park and seemed monstrous pleased with each other’s company.”

“The chit is not as easily daunted as we first thought,” scoffed Christina. “One would suspect her of being in love with her husband.”

“That is one accusation that could not be laid at your door, my dear,” purred
His Lordship. “You may have a love for his money but certainly not his person.”

“You know me too well, Anthony,” she said, sitting on the arm of his chair and leaning against his shoulder with a cat-like smile on her aristocratic countenance. “I keep my mind on more mundane matters. Love I reserve for you alone.”

“What utter nonsense, my company would not be tolerated if it weren’t for my purse and connections.”

“True, but as you so often say, we are very much alike, you and I, and deal tolerably well. You have no more love for me than I have for you, but we suit each other’s purpose admirably.

“Exactly!” stated Lord Massey putting aside his glass to take her into his arms. “Some other plan must be devised to detach My Lady from her husband.”

*****

“I believe Julia to be starting with a chill,” stated Caroline with some concern, as she joined her husband at breakfast. “She is fractious and sneezes continually, I have told the nurse to keep her abed until the symptoms ease.”

“She will soon come about, my dear,” replied the earl. “I will send for Dr. Leigh and he can prescribe for her. In the meantime, you may safely leave her to her nurse’s ministrations. It would not do that you should also fall prey to the condition. I will not have two invalids on my hands.”

However, it was too late. By evening, Caroline shared the same streaming symptoms. Dr. Leigh made his call, and diagnosed both patients as having succumbed to the influenza. When Caroline showed a reluctance to obey the doctor’s orders to retire immediately to bed, the earl endorsed the physician’s words. “You will feel a deal better for the comforts of your bed, my dear,” he stated, as she still hesitated to do his bidding. “I will order a posset to be brought to you to make you more at ease. Now go. In this, I will brook no defiance.”

Reluctantly, Caroline made her way to her bedchamber and, allowing her maid to assist her into her nightgown, crept gratefully into the vast comfortable bed. Her bones ached, her head throbbed, and her eyes and nose streamed relentlessly. Gratefully she lay back against the large lace pillows, allowing the softness of the bed to encompass her. The maid
, after drawing the curtains and lighting the candles in their sconces, not wishing to disturb her mistress, quietly left the room. As she would have closed the door, the earl forestalled the action and, going past her, entered the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

Thinking herself alone, Caroline continued to lie dozing with eyes closed, unaware that her husband crossed the room to stand, with small tray in hand, beside her bed.

“Caro,” he called softly, and she was startled into wakefulness, her hand going automatically to her tumbled curls.

“Do not disturb yourself, my dear,” he chuckled. “You must know I have a penchant for red noses and unruly locks. You look enchanting. Now come, drink this, I bring you your posset,” and he held the tray out to her.

Pulling herself higher onto the pillows, Caroline reluctantly took the glass from the tray. She had no desire whatsoever for the liquid, but at his prompting, took small sips, finding it necessary to pause frequently to blow her nose somewhat inelegantly.

She smiled wanly as he drew a chair from the hearth and came to sit at her bedside. “You must forgive me, Richard,” she said with thickened voice.

“Nonsense, my dear,” he said, with a teasing grin. “I have rarely seen so charming a picture. I find the whole most delightful.”

“Wretch,” she chuckled in response. “I am quite aware of the picture I must present, though I must admit you were right, I do feel a deal better for my bed.”

“Then what say you I sit with you for a while? We could talk, or you could doze, it matters not but that we should have each other’s company. If you have no objections, I could order supper to be served here in your room. I have no desire to dine alone.”

“Order what you will, but I have no wish for nourishment, though perhaps a cordial to ease my throat.”

“Poor girl,” he sympathized, patting her hand as it rested on the quilt. “Are you quite uncomfortable?”

“Quite, sir,” she replied thickly, finding it once more necessary to blow her nose.

“Then perhaps it is inconsiderate of me to expect your company. I will let you sleep.”

“No, Richard, stay,” she replied, once more reaching for her handkerchief. “If you can endure my sniffling, then I’m sure I can endure your supper.”

“Could I not persuade you to take some broth?” he asked solicitously, but she gave only a reproving look in reply. “Very well then, I will allow it for now, but tomorrow you must make every effort to take sustenance. It will not do that you should go unnourished.”

“I see you intend to bully me into submission, sir,” she said, smiling despite her discomfort.

“I certainly do, my dear,” he replied feigning hauteur. “Is it not my husbandly duty?”

*****

Some while later, seeing his wife’s lids become heavy, the earl rose to take his leave. “I will make one more visit to the nursery to see that all is right with Julia, and then I shall retire,” he informed her, rising to replace his chair on the hearth. “However, with your permission, I will leave the connecting door to my room open should you have need of me.”

“I shall not disturb you, Richard,” assured Caroline.

“
But you already do, my love. You already do
,” he said beneath his breath as he entered the corridor.

He felt a closeness with his young wife that he had never thought possible. She revived emotions he had only dreamed of in his idealistic youth, when in his naivety, he had envisioned the joys of marriage. However, despite such revelations, his wounded heart would not allow that he should act on his imaginings and truly claim her as his wife.

*****

The sun streaming through the window the following morning brought Caroline to abrupt wakefulness and, her head paining her more than ever, she begged her maid to draw the curtain against its fierce light. She had no desire whatsoever to put foot to floor, the mere thought of such exertion proving unbearable. The door to the adjoining room had been closed, but seeing her mistress look toward it, the maid informed her that
His Lordship had come into the room earlier but, seeing his wife still asleep, had gone to the nursery.

“How is the child,” asked Caroline gruffly.

“Much the same as you, my lady,” replied the maid. “My lord said that I was to inform him when you were awake,” and bobbing a short curtsey, she was gone in the direction of the nursery.

A short time later, the earl appeared at the door. “Do you prefer that I should let you rest?” he asked with some concern before crossing the threshold.

In answer, she held out her hand to him and he came and clasped it in both of his. “You look considerably paler this morning, my dear,” he said quietly. “Do I overtax you? Do you wish me elsewhere?”

“You would wish me elsewhere should you succumb to the symptoms,” she said with a weak smile.

“Never! I am of a stronger constitution than that,” he replied, smiling in return, then reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a small box and examined it thoughtfully before presenting it to his wife. “I bring you this in hopes it may make your suffering a little more tolerable,” and he watched her reaction from beneath lowered brows.

Taking the box from his clasp Caroline carefully opened the lid. Reposing on a velvet cushion was a small intricate broach of seed pearls and sapphires with a
center diamond.

“It is a minor family heirloom,” he explained in a quiet voice. “I thought you might like to have it and it would cheer you a little.”

“It is exquisite,” she whispered, her voice gruff with emotion.

“It finds favor with you?” he asked guardedly. “You do not feel it below your approbation?”

The pleasure of the moment clearly showed on her face. “How could it fail to delight, Richard,” she replied. “I have never owned such a piece. I shall scarce dare wear it.”

“You surely will Caro,” he said, delight sounding in his voice. “Indeed, it has been remiss of me not to have brought other family pieces to you. I will speak to my banker today and they will be returned to my keeping.”

“I beg you will not. There is absolutely no need, as I desire nothing more.”

“There is every need, my dear,” he enthused, well pleased with her answer, an answer in complete variance to one that he had received in a like situation a few years previously. “Indeed, when you are more revived, I will commission a jeweler to make a special piece for you. One that reflects your character.”