How to Handle Your Emotions (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (4 page)
This anger is quick and impatient, instantly irritated or incensed. A testy temper is often expressed with criticism or sarcasm under the guise of teasing.
Example: “I can’t believe you said that! You’re so childish!”
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools”
(E
CCLESIASTES
7:9).
Profuse anger—the “volatile volcano”
This anger is powerful, destructive, hard to control. This way of releasing anger is characterized by contempt, violence, and abuse toward others.
Example: “You stupid fool—if you ever do that again, you’ll wish you’d never been born!”
Jesus gives an ominous warning toward those who demean others:
“I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment…But anyone who says,
‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell”
(M
ATTHEW
5:22).
Holdout Harry and the Volcano
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He was cautioned, counseled, commanded. He was warned, and well aware of the danger. He received repeated instructions to leave as Mount St. Helens quivered and quaked. But 84-year-old Harry Truman stood his ground near the volatile volcano.
As shifts beneath the surface were regularly recorded—seismic activity logged day after day—Harry became infamous for holding out and ignoring orders to evacuate. This former rebellious bootlegger had left his life of running Canadian whiskey to California during the Prohibition years, but he wasn’t about to budge from his lodge near Spirit Lake in Washington state. In 1929, he staked a 40-acre claim—and in the spring of 1980, he staked his life.
Known as a cantankerous guide—as rough and rugged as the surrounding wilderness—Harry had already withstood
100-mile-an-hour windstorms, a fire that engulfed his house, and numerous earthquakes. If lava should start pouring out of the crater, Harry expected the lava to travel slow enough for him to escape into an old mine shaft he had discovered and stocked with food and whiskey.
Ignoring the early earthquakes and avalanches of ash, Harry stubbornly refused to budge…despite ongoing steam eruptions, harmonic tremors, and even a summit explosion. Although the number of eruptions lessened through March and April, the might of their magnitude marched on.
Harry had a tenacious streak, much like his presidential namesake who quipped, “If you can’t stand the heat, you better get out of the kitchen!”
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As conditions worsened in the vicinity of the volcano, most in proximity “did get out of the kitchen”— but not ole Harry.
Amidst all the media notoriety, a national news show visited Harry via helicopter and a Portland television station did the same. Both were ready to rescue him. Harry remained unwilling to leave.
“I’m gonna stay right here…I stuck it out 54 years and I can stick it out another 54,”
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he declared defiantly. Harry thought he could “stand the heat” and wouldn’t get hurt. But on May 18, a 5.0 magnitude earthquake sent lava shooting in a searing pyroclastic blast—timed at 300 miles per hour! This powerful eruption triggered an avalanche of devastating debris—one of the largest landslides ever recorded.
12
That fateful day, 57 people lost their lives—including Harry, who was buried deep under a massive flow of ash and lava.
Like volatile volcanoes, the angry people in our lives simmer and stew beneath the surface. Those who are angry have a mounting pressure within them threatening to spew out. Eventually they release their molten rage on those standing nearby, venting volcanic wrath with its exploding heat…causing devastating harm.
The biblical warning is understandable and unmistakable: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered” (Proverbs 22:24). God’s Word instructs us to leave the presence of a hot-tempered person— someone with volcanic anger. Otherwise like Harry, we will be hurt, we will be harmed, we will be burned! Proverbs 27:4 says “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming.”
Only because Harry ignored the warning of the volatile rumblings did he experience destruction and death and he did so needlessly. Harry thought he could escape unharmed—he was dead wrong.
HARACTERISTICS OF
A
NGER
Betrayal by any person is bruising, but betrayal by a friend cuts especially deep, wounding the soul. Everyone expects opposition from those on the outside, but what do you do when opposition comes from within—from among your own circle, your closest confidants, your trusted few?
One national leader knew the hurt of such betrayal. He had led wisely, demonstrated courage, and won the confidence of his people. He was there for them—and they knew it.
However, a leader under him—an enemy in the camp—undermined the chief leader’s authority. He created such dissension that this man stole the loyalty of 250 of his other leaders. Those whom he had trusted throughout the years—those who knew him the best, those who should have been most loyal to him—turned against him. In response, however, Moses did not express his anger by taking personal revenge, but rather appealed to the Lord to act on his behalf.
“Moses became very angry and said to the L
ORD
, ‘Do not accept their offering. I have not…wronged any of them’”
(N
UMBERS
16:15).
Although justifiably angry, Moses had learned how to
act
rather than
react.
He restrained his rage, poured out his heart, and pleaded with the Lord to deal with His offenders. In turn, God took up Moses’ cause, destroyed his betrayers, and defended his honor. Moses refused to take revenge, but rather allowed the Lord to be his avenger because God had given this promise:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay”
A. What Are Your Anger Cues?(D
EUTERONOMY
32:35).
The human body has a physical reaction when it experiences anger. These “anger cues” can alert you when you are beginning to feel angry. Discerning your anger cues can help you avoid trouble. Likewise, being aware of the signs of anger in others can alert you of the need to appropriately defend yourself, if necessary.
A biblical example of an anger cue is Jonathan’s loss of appetite when he was hurt and grieved over his father’s unjust, shameful treatment toward his close friend David.
“Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the month he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David”
(1 S
AMUEL
20:34).
Your Anger Cues
In seeking to identify your anger cues, answer the following questions:
Once you have identified your anger cues, you will be in a position to quickly identify when you are angry. Then you can direct your energies toward producing a positive outcome.
“See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter”
B. Do You(2 C
ORINTHIANS
7:11).
Act
or
React
When You Are Angry?
13
When you are angry, does reason rule your mind, or do tense emotions take control? Do you allow the mind of Christ within you to determine how you should act—a choice that leads to
appropriate action?
Or do you have a knee-jerk reaction that leads to
inappropriate reaction?
If you have never evaluated what happens when you feel angry…if you lack insight as to how others perceive you when you are angry…seek God’s wisdom and understanding.
“If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the L
ORD
and find the knowledge of God. For the L
ORD
gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding”
(P
ROVERBS
2:3-6).
— An
appropriate action
is expressing your thoughts and feelings with restraint, understanding, and concern for the other person’s welfare.
“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered”
(P
ROVERBS
17:27).
— An
inappropriate reaction
is expressing your thoughts and feelings in such a way that stirs up anger in others and produces strife. Proverbs, the book on wisdom, paints this graphic picture:
“As churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife”
(P
ROVERBS
30:33).
To help assess whether you
act
rather than
react,
answer the following questions:
Ask Yourself…
Even though a situation may evoke anger, those who allow the Lord to be their strength will respond appropriately.
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience”
C. What Are Symptoms of Unresolved Anger?(C
OLOSSIANS
3:12).
The emotion of anger is not a problem in itself, but anger becomes a problem when left
unresolved.
Prolonged anger fans the flame of bitterness and fuels unforgiveness. One way you can choose to harbor anger is by refusing to face your feelings in a healthy way.
Such unresolved anger not only creates a rift between you and God, but also damages your body, destroys your emotions, and demoralizes your relationships. Whether you recognize it or not, prolonged anger can cause significant physical, emotional, and spiritual problems. Jesus said,
“I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment”
(M
ATTHEW
5:22).