Illicit (5 page)

I found the rest of my classes with ease and tried my best to be as unobtrusive as possible.

I think the word had spread that Azarov had nearly decapitated some guy, whose name I’d overheard was John Bryn, for hitting me in the head with a harmless paper ball.

It worked to keep people away from me that was for sure, except...

“Hi, I’m Michelle Sever and you have got to tell me how you know the delicious Azarov.” A girl with a friendly smile peered out at me from behind wire rimmed glasses.

We were in the cafeteria for lunch break and I’d found the table closest to the wall and away from the usual hubbub of a high school lunchroom.

Before I could open my mouth to answer her, we were joined by my first welcoming party duo and some other kids, one of which was the blonde who was now looking like she’d swallowed a lemon; whole.

What was her problem anyway? As if I didn’t know. Why someone who looked like she did would be threatened by little old me, boggles the mind.

She was movie star perfect and dressed like she stepped off the pages of a magazine. I’m sure it won’t take her long to figure out she had nothing to fear from this quarter.

“So new girl, how do you know the great Azarov?” Mark sat down next to me.

I wish someone would hurry up and tell me what the big deal was about this guy.

“Azarov and I uh....” I clapped my hand onto the back of my neck where I’d once again felt the sensation of wind blowing across my nape and a tickling in my ear.

Everyone was staring at me like I’d suddenly sprung an extra head, and my face was heating up like the hot Arizona desert.

Great, now they’ll think I’m crazy.

“Yes newbie inquiring minds want to know, where and when did you meet Our Thorn?” Blondie practically sneered, but I paid her no mind, I’d just heard his name for the first time.

Everyone else called him Azarov. I wondered if there was some special reason she called him by his given name. And what did she mean by ‘our Thorn’?

“Thorn.” Again I whispered his name on a sigh. As soon as the word left my mouth I felt him. I don’t know how I knew he was near, I’d only ever felt his presence in dreams before today, but somehow I knew.

I searched the room for him almost as if compelled, as if I had no choice. I felt an unmistakable pull, but had no explanation for my odd behavior, seeing as how it had never happened before.

The heart palpitations, the sweaty palms and that overwhelming feeling of something I couldn’t quite put into words. There was a slight fear there, but it was more a fear of the unknown than of any imminent danger.

He was standing across the room, arms folded, one leg braced behind him on the wall, as he listened to some pixie like chick that was very animated about whatever it was she was saying.

I felt off seeing them together, like my world had gone off kilter for a second. Was that his girlfriend? I felt a tearing in the region of my heart and wondered what in the world was wrong with me.

I was acting so out of character for me; I’ve never been one to moon over a boy before, not even one who’d been following me in my dreams for as long as I could remember.

But now seeing him in the flesh, up close and personal with someone else, was heart wrenching. It almost brought me to tears.

I didn’t miss the slight imperceptible shake of his head, or the way he was staring right at me.

The others seemed to fade to black as his eyes held mine almost spellbound. I think I’d read about this once in a book, it was called mesmerized, or something like that.

I knew I was probably being really fanciful right about now, but something about this whole day was just too surreal.

The girl he wasn’t listening to turned suddenly and looked at me; then she did the strangest thing. She threw her hands up in the air and stalked off in a pique.

I tuned back into my surroundings, but barely, he was very enticing after all.

No one else seemed to have noticed our little byplay and I looked away for one second, only to find him gone when I looked back. I felt empty somehow, empty and sad. Today sure was turning out to be one for the books.

I didn’t see Thorn any more during class, though I searched for him in the halls between changes. Each time feeling a little more disappointed that he wasn’t there.

Get over it Jazz, he’s way out of your league. That thought was very saddening and I had to fight not to feel sorry for myself. But he was so beautiful, and so out of my reach.

I still didn’t know and didn’t understand what that whole thing this morning had been about though. And what had he meant by welcome home? Did he know my dad? That had to be it. Why else would he say it?

Home, it had a nice ring to it. I smiled as I felt the warmth of those two little words touch me. I had a home.

No one else asked me about our seeming friendship after I’d been less than forthcoming at lunch, but there seemed to be a lot of whispers on the subject.

Needless to say, it appeared that I was now the rumored girlfriend of the school’s hot rod.

From the little snippets I gathered, which I had to do surreptitiously since it was falsely believed that the two of us had already met and had some kind of knowledge of each other. The Azarovs were a well to do family who lived on the outskirts of town.

Thorn had a brother and a sister who it turns out was the pixie he’d been ignoring at lunch.

Thorn was thought to be some sort of recluse slash heartthrob. I’m not quite sure how that works, but I could see how he might gain the reputation.

He was freaking gorgeous, with his mop of golden bronze curls, those jaguar green eyes, and dimples. Oh holy night I’m giving myself heart palpitations. No seriously, my heart was going crazy in my chest all of a sudden.

That strange wind thing happened again, only this time I think I also felt something brush against my right cheek. I got the sensation of a warm palm holding my cheek and wanted to rub against it. Weird.

Next, I’d probably start hearing the whispers I used to as a child, the ones mom had always said were a figment of my imagination.

Today was making me revisit a lot of things from my past. Things that had been swept under the rug, things that I was too young to understand back then.

But if my dream could come to life, wasn’t it possible that all the other things I’d discarded over time were also real? It was something to think about.

I looked for him again at last bell but no dice; the halls were full of rowdy teens, on their way out the door to do heaven knows what.

In this small town, that didn’t even have a movie theatre, I couldn’t imagine what there was to do. Not that I frequented the movies, but still.

Somehow I didn’t want to leave the only place where I’d seen him in the flesh. Where he’d touched me and looked into my eyes. I knew that the rest of my day was going to be shot, because he wasn’t there.

Those few glimpses of him had only wet my appetite for more. It was a strange reaction for a girl who’d never really had any real interest in the opposite sex. Leave it to me to fall ass hard for a guy who was way beyond me.

I wanted to ask him how it was that he was in my dreams. Though I know I would rip out my tongue and stomp it into dust before I ever built up the courage, but still it was something that needed addressing.

I’d never heard of such a thing happening before, unless I’d seen him before and just transported him to my dream world. But that couldn’t be it, I would’ve remembered if I’d ever seen him in the flesh before.

‘Alright Jazz move it along.’ I was dragging my feet on the way to my truck in the hopes of catching one last glimpse of his beautiful face.

After the realization that my dreams weren’t some sort of omen to him murdering me, I’ve become obsessed.

Like who was he really? And how was it possible for me to have dreamt of a complete stranger my whole life without us having ever met?

In my dreams he was just a figment of my imagination, sometimes bringing comfort and solace, sometimes a taste of fear, but always I’d known he wasn’t real.

Thorn Azarov was very real and it would appear, very dangerous, though maybe not in the way I’d once feared.

I got the sense that everyone had some sort of respect for him. What that stemmed from I wasn’t sure, but if the way he handled the Bryn guy was anything to go by, then it wasn’t hard to figure out.

Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to get home and hide away in my room and replay the day’s events over and over again.

I hastened my steps so that no one would waylay me if they were so inclined. As first days go this one had been a beauty, definitely one for the annals of my trusty diary.

Chapter 5

Climbing into my truck, I took one last look around, before turning the key in the ignition and pulling out.

The noise my old clinker made was only slightly less mortifying than I thought it would be, but I consoled myself by turning the music up loud, as I wound my way through the long deserted streets to home.

There was only one other car on the road behind me and it kept its distance which was good, because I’m way too fond of horror flicks and this place was a hacking waiting to happen.

I was surprised when it made the turn off to my dad’s street though, because it was a dead end and the only other people here were elderly couples who weren’t into fast James Bond type cars.

I was even more surprised to see none other than Thorn Azarov behind the wheel, that predatory cat gaze hitting me right between the eyes.

Why was it that I always forgot how to breathe whenever in his presence? Or how my limbs were supposed to work? Of course I tripped all over my own two feet in front of him like a ninny.

I lifted my bag higher on my shoulder and pushed my hair back behind my ear, all while looking down at my feet.

When I picked my head back up, he was still there, with the same look, as if he’d not even blinked.

He made a slight lifting of the chin gesture towards the front door, as if to say go on inside, so I did. But I couldn’t resist taking one last look back over my shoulder.

I wish I had the nerve to walk over to that car window and demand the answers to my many questions, but instead, I fumbled the key in the door and only managed to drop them twice, before getting it right.

Too embarrassed to turn around, I flung myself through the door, dropped my bag and headed for the window on the side.

Maybe I’ll catch one last glimpse to tide me over until school tomorrow. I’ve now added pathetic to my repertoire.

He was already gone and I felt the loss like an open wound. Suddenly it felt like the sun had disappeared and the day had lost its color.

I spent way too much time going over the day’s events in my head over and over again.

Of course I hurriedly wrote it all down before I forgot just one little detail. When I started dawdling silly hearts with his name in the margins of the page I figured it was time to quit.

It was bittersweet recalling my every moment with him. I knew there was no way he would ever be mine, and just the thought of the loss, of what would never be, hurt my heart just a little.

I decided to put it out of my mind best I could and get on with my evening. It was nice while it lasted though.

I made dinner for my dad and I, which kept my mind occupied for a while. The ringing of the phone around seven that evening, after I’d finished my homework, was a bit of a surprise. I had no friends here and mom and dad contacted me on my cell.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jasmine, it’s Mark, you know, from today?”

“Uh...” What?

“Yeah, I got the number from the phone book, you know it’s the chief’s number and all so it’s listed. Anyway uh...some of us are going out on a picnic this weekend before the weather changes completely, and I was wondering if you’d you know, like to go with?”

“Um...” Shoot, what the heck was I supposed to say? I didn’t really have any interest in Mark, and I knew he didn’t really have any in me.

It was just the new girl thing, let’s see who can bag her first; but neither did I want to alienate anyone my first time here.

“Um, I’ll have to check with my dad and see if he has anything planned okay?”

I bit my lip feeling guilty for the lie, but it was the best I could do without coming right out and saying no thanks, not interested.

“Yeah okay, sure.”

He didn’t sound too thrilled, but he didn’t push it either. I hung up with the thought of why I’d really wanted to turn him down.

If I were honest with myself I would own up to holding out for the slight hope that one curly haired heartthrob was going to ask me out.

The ringing of the phone pulled me out of my reverie; my heart started doing its crazy dance again and I knew who was on the other end of the line. I picked up the receiver a bit hesitantly.

“Hello.”

“No.”

That’s it, that’s all the voice on the other end said before hanging up again; and how did I know whose voice it had been? Because my body true to form where he’s concerned, went into meltdown. I hung up the beeping phone two minutes later, after I’d come back to my senses.

***

Well, I guess Mr. Azarov has laid down the law; all that’s left now is to find a diplomatic way to let Mark down easy without hurting his feelings.

I’m not even going to question how he knew about the phone call, why bother? Nothing else has made any sense since I looked into my dream’s eyes.

I flitted around the empty house killing time until my dad came home, which should be any minute now.

Every five minutes or so I’d gravitate towards a window, in the hopes that beyond the drapes would be a silent Thorn Azarov keeping watch over my house.

“Fanciful much Jazz?”

By the time dad arrived I’d given up hope of seeing my mystery man any more for the night.

I contemplated asking dad about him but thought better of it; that might raise more questions than I was ready to answer or rather had the answers to.

“So Jazz how was your first day in the belly of the beast?”

“Dad I wish you wouldn’t call it that, you know you’ll give me a complex if you’re not careful. You’re supposed to be encouraging dad, I read that somewhere.”

“Uh huh, say what you will, but I’ve been there done that and I’d rather face down a grizzly than walk the hallways of another high school, that place was vicious.”

“Come on dad it couldn’t have been that bad, I mean you had what, twenty students in the whole school?” I smirked at him when he threw part of his dinner roll at me.

“Smart ass; well, did you meet anyone interesting huh, tell dad all about it.” He twitched his brows up and down which made me howl with laughter because it just looked so wrong.

“Nothing to tell dad it was your usual first day for the newbie.” I hoped the heated blush that spread across my face wasn’t a dead giveaway that I was hiding something.

“What no new girlfriends?”

He looked hurt that his little girl didn’t make a whole fleet of friends on her first day at her new school.

“Not to worry dad the other kids didn’t shun me and poke fun, in fact I did meet a few kids. I was even invited to a picnic this weekend.” I stuffed a piece of broccoli in my mouth as I thought of that phone call again.

“Hey that’s great Jazz. Who all did you meet? I know all the kids in these parts.”

“Well I met Michelle Sever and Mark Spade and Ian Track.”

“All nice kids from good families; so where’re you kids going to have this picnic?”

“Uh, I’m not going.” I stuffed more food in my mouth and pulled my hair forward to hide my eyes.

“What why not? Aw come on Jazz don’t be shy.”

“It’s not that dad, it’s...um, I might be doing something else.”

“Oh yeah like what?”

I really didn’t want to lie to my dad and besides, I didn’t really know if Azarov wanted to do something.

“I’m not sure yet dad, when I know I’ll let you know okay, and stop worrying, I’ll make friends when I’m ready.”

He studied me over his dinner of broiled fish and baby potatoes with broccoli.

For the past few days since I’ve been here I’d been trying to get him to eat healthier.

His diet up until now ran to burgers and pie. Now he’s looking at me like one of his suspects in the interrogation room.

I know he’s worried about me, about my ability to adjust, but the truth is until today, until my strange encounter, I’d been worried too.

Now I felt...hopeful, like I had something new and exciting to look forward to.

“Don’t worry dad I’m fine, I promise.” I got up to take my empty plate to the sink kissing his head on the way.

“By the way I like my new school.”

I was happy to see the smile of relief that fell across his face, as he turned around to look at me, one less thing for him to worry about.

I turned on the water in the ancient sink and soaped up the pots and pans I’d used to make dinner.

Pete’s kitchen might be a throw back to the seventies, but at least it had a sense of home, of permanence and roots.

Something all of the places Anna had ever dragged me off to had been lacking.

I felt a pang of sorrow for the mother I’d left behind, the mother I couldn’t save from her self; and with that fleeting touch of sorrow I felt lips caress my brow.