Jake Undone (9 page)

feelings really do subside eventually. And if you can reach that point, it’s actually exhilarating. What goes

up must come down, I guess.

Jake had just about finished putting the items back into his backpack when the music changed. He

joined me in leaning his head against the back wall and closed his eyes. He was sitting far away from me

and I ached for him to move closer. The tone of this new song was completely different from the other

ones. It was mellow with very little instruments. The female singer had a soothing, folksy voice. It was

unfamiliar, but the words were breathtaking. The song was about a woman who gets stuck in an elevator

with a stranger she was wary of initially, but he really grows on her, and she starts to fall for him, realizing eventually that their getting stuck together was meant to be and magical.

I opened my eyes to look over at Jake, who still had his eyes closed. “Who sings this?” I asked.

“It’s a song I found online called
Stuck in the Elevator
by Edie Brickell. You like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Good.”

“You’re still insane, though.”

He opened his eyes, turned to me and smiled. His dimples completely did me in at that point. Then he

closed his eyes again listening to the song, and once again, I got to look at his handsome face in peace,

without his knowing. His nose was perfect, not too big and not too small. His lips were crimson and the

lower one with the lip ring was slightly more prominent. I noticed that his dark lashes were much longer

than mine.

I thought about how my father would react if he knew I was stuck in an elevator with a guy as

“dangerous” looking as Jake. Dad likely wouldn’t get the irony: that Jake had done more for me than all the

other straight-laced guys I had ever known put together. My asshole ex only laughed at my phobias instead

of helping me through them. He was too busy cheating on me.

I didn’t really know much about Jake’s life at all. What I did know for sure was that he was complex

and closed off. For someone who had done so much for me in a short amount of time, he offered very little

about himself. But he didn’t have to say anything for me to know that what you saw was
not
what you got.

His choosing this emotional song confirmed it.

There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I wanted to know, but I was afraid to find out. I

didn’t really want to hear what I suspected…that he had a girlfriend in Boston. Was it his girlfriend that I

overheard him with that first day I moved in? There hadn’t been any girls in the house since. Truthfully, I

also didn’t really want to hear that I wasn’t his type.

I wondered if he really understood how much what he had done for me today meant. I also wondered if

he knew that I felt exactly like the woman singing this song. That if I had to be stuck in an elevator with

anyone, I was glad it was with him.

I turned away when he abruptly opened his eyes and asked, “You want to get going?”

“You mean you are going to put me out of my misery?”

“Yeah, that was the deal. When you finally relaxed…oh, I would say somewhere in the middle of
It’s A

Small World After All
…the mission had been accomplished. You know, when you’re not hyperventilating,

you’re actually kind of fun to be around.” He smiled. “Ready to get moving?”

I thought about it. “In a minute. Let this song finish.”

Jake winked at me again, and suddenly, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to leave.

CHAPTER 8

The next morning I woke up to another paper bat by my bedside that said:

You didn’t run…you saw it through.

Mr. Bat is proud of you.

I wondered when he had put it there and if I was asleep and drooling when he did it. I clutched the bat

to my chest closing my eyes, grinning from ear to ear. I had felt such a sense of accomplishment after

yesterday. The subway ride home was a piece of cake, too, after surviving the elevator.

It was Friday, so Jake had already left the house. He usually took the Amtrak train to Boston for the

weekend straight from work. I wouldn’t see him until Sunday night or Monday, depending on how late he

returned to Brooklyn.

The house was basically boring on weekends without him around. Tarah and Ryan would ask me to tag

along with them to the city or to a movie, but I usually declined and opted to stay home and study or catch

up on laundry.

***

Early Sunday evening, I had finished most of my homework and errands and found myself alone in the

house again. The door to Jake’s room was left cracked open, so I went inside, plopping down on top of his

bed. His signature scent was all over the comforter. I buried my nose in it, imagining that it was him.

I sat up on his bed for a bit and looked around, bouncing ever so slightly on the firm mattress. There

was a collection of pens on his bedside table as well as a cigarette lighter. Oddly, next to the pens were four

of those pinwheels that kids might get at a carnival. I took one and blew on it, watching it spin. Jake was so

puzzling.

I opened the bedside drawer and immediately shut it when I noticed a strip of condoms inside next to a

pack of cigarettes. It reminded me of the upsetting fact that the guy I was infatuated with was having sex

with someone or some
people
other than me. Cigarettes, condoms…
pinwheels
, you know, the usual stuff you found in 24-year-old guy’s bedroom.

I got up and walked over to the picture on his chest of drawers of his twin nieces that sat next to the

gargoyle figurine collection. Maybe the pinwheels were for them? The girls were beautiful and looked so

much like him with the same dark hair, light eyes and dimples.

His closet was open, and it smelled even better than his comforter. I ran my finger across the hanging

shirts that were mostly black and navy with a few plaids mixed in and looked down at the closet floor at the

mess of shoes strewn about, mostly Converse and Doc Martens.

I sat back down on the bed and noticed a stack of large sketchpads left out on his desk. I grabbed the

first one off of the stack and got chills as I flipped it open.

What my eyes were met with took my breath away. The first picture was an amazingly lifelike drawing

of a man on a motorcycle. The man was drawn from behind, and only his face was turned around looking

over his shoulder. His eyes seemed to be staring at me right off of the page. How you could make that

happen with pencil was beyond me. The drawing, with its texture and shadowing, just seemed to come to

life.
Jake drew this?
It was unbelievable.

I kept going through the book, and each drawing was better than the last. Another one was of the same

man riding the motorcycle into the clouds in the sky. There were also a lot of drawings of the same woman

or girl, with wild curly hair. In one of them, she was dancing in the rain and had a long skirt that seemed to

move within the picture. They were all done solely in pencil with blends of charcoal and graphite.

There was another picture of a butterfly, but the center was a lifelike woman, instead of a thorax. The

drawings were so intricate, and the attention to detail was impressive. I felt guilty for looking through the

book, but Jake left it right on his desk, so it couldn’t have been something he was trying to hide.
Right?
At least, I made myself believe that.

I finished going through the first sketchpad and became hungry for more. I grabbed the entire pile and

devoured each one with my eyes. Some were of people and others were just nature scenes. Certain ones

were so stunning, that I had to stop and stare at them for several minutes at a time, examining every last

detail. Then, I would go back to some of the pictures again if I couldn’t get the image out of my head.

I was frantically searching these photos for clues about Jake’s life. With each drawing, I was more and

more confused about the possible meanings. Were they based on real people or just characters he created

from his imagination? Jake was even more complicated than I originally thought.

At one point, I rested my head on his black pillowcase, relishing the rustic masculine aroma that

invaded my senses. Between the drawings and the intoxicating scent, I was super aroused.

Several minutes passed, and I gradually became drowsy, deciding to close my eyes. That was the last

thing I remembered before I awoke to Jake standing over me with a death stare, as I lay on his bed amidst a

pile of his private sketches.

***

Was I dreaming? I rubbed my eyes from the sudden brightness. The realization that this situation was

not imagined caused my heart to explode out of my chest. It felt like I was also about to lose control of my

bladder, so I clenched the muscles between my thighs and jumped up, scooting back against the headboard.

“Jake…I can explain.”

“What the fuck, Nina?” he whispered hoarsely, his tone angry.

The sad and disappointed look in his eyes scared me, and I was even more terrified because I had put it

there by violating his privacy.

His hair was dripping wet from the rain which I could now hear pounding against the window. Under

different circumstances, being holed up in his room during a rainstorm would have been a dream, one that

would not include him looking like he wanted to murder me.

He continued to stand over me speechless, and I knew I had to say something, but the words just

wouldn’t come out. I noticed his backpack was thrown clumsily in the middle of the floor.

After several seconds passed, I cleared my throat and started with a white lie about the reason for going

into his room. “Um…a few hours ago, I was alone in the house, and your door was open. I had thought I

left the math workbook in here, so I came inside. I noticed these sketchbooks. I only meant to peek in at the

top one, but when I saw how amazing the first drawing was…I just couldn’t stop looking.”

He swallowed and continued to look at me with a burning stare, but said nothing. His chest was rising

as he breathed in and out.
Shit.

I continued. “I must have closed my eyes and fallen asleep.”

Jake blinked repeatedly but was still silent. A trickle of rainwater ran down his forehead.

My voice was shaking. “I am really sorry. I should have never thought it was okay to look at your stuff.

For the record, they are the most phenomenal drawings I have ever seen.”

I sat there against the back headboard frozen with my knees to my chest. Jake said nothing as he moved

closer and took the sketchpads, piling them on top of each other. Then, he returned them to their original

spot on the desk.

“Again, I’m sorry,” I said.

I started to get up planning to return to my room, humiliated. Just then, I felt a firm grip on my wrist,

and the return of his voice shook me. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my room.”

He pushed me back down gently and released his grasp. “Just stay.”

Huh?
My heart beat faster.

“Stay? What do you mean?”

“I mean…you were comfortable here. Just stay.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t say that. You shouldn’t have been snooping.”

“I know. I really am sorry.”

Jake didn’t respond to my apology. Instead, he walked over to the door, closed it and shut off the light.

I looked at the digital clock, which said 11:30. It was later than I thought. Only the streetlights outside

illuminated the room now, as he removed his wet jacket and threw it on the floor. Then, he pulled his t-shirt

over his head and was completely shirtless.

Oh…wow…okay.

I bit down on my bottom lip hard, and my body trembled as he approached the bed.

Yeah, this was more like the dream I had imagined.

“Scoot over,” he said in a low voice.

I turned to my side and moved to the right, tucking my arms under my chin.

An indescribable sensation came over me when I felt his warm rock hard chest up against my back.

Then, he put his arm around my waist. He was…spooning me.

Holy shit.

I closed my eyes, breathing in the masculine smell of his body: sweat mixed with cologne and rain, and

I hoped he couldn’t sense my nerves. The room was completely silent aside from the sound of the rain

pelting the window, but I felt like he would be able to hear my heart beating through my ears.

His breathing was heavy, and I could feel it on my neck. At one point, I inadvertently moved and