Read Layers Off Online

Authors: Lacey Silks

Tags: #romantic suspense novel, #adult, #Series, #erotic novel, #sex, #Suspense, #Erotic Romance, #sensual, #Romantic Suspense, #erotic suspense, #trilogy, #adult books, #Romance, #love story, #rich and wealthy, #Erotica, #contemporary romance, #desire, #layers trilogy, #couples erotica, #new adult, #Women's Fiction

Layers Off (2 page)

BOOK: Layers Off
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I shook my head sideways and my gaze flew to the master bathroom. He reached for my hand the same way he had each morning, and knowing exactly what I needed, he led me to the sink. The room had been stripped of anything I could use to harm myself. I didn’t think I would; not with Julian so close to me. If I died on his watch he’d blame himself for the rest of his life. I couldn’t do that to him. And I couldn’t disappoint Allie or Tristan. They had all risked their lives to save me.

I sat on the toilet just as Julian turned around. After what I’ve been subjected to the past month, this wasn’t embarrassing at all. Once done, I brushed my teeth and turned on the knob, letting the water fill the tub. At first the sound of flowing water was unnerving. It reminded me of the sound of that river outside of my cell, but it would pass as soon as I dipped my toes in its warmth. The feeling was so different than what I’d experienced in the nearly freezing dungeon.

“You want to take a bath?” he asked.

I nodded. Up until now, Clara, my nurse who’d been flown in from New Zealand, had helped me with the baths. Julian had always left so I could have some privacy. He stood up from the chair he’d been sitting on and said, “I’ll go get Clara.”

I rushed to his side and gripped his hand, pulling him back down to the chair and begging him with my eyes not to leave me.

“All right. I’ll stay, but I have to tell you I’m not an expert at bathing women.” The joke he tried to crack held a hint of nerves and something else I couldn’t quite place. He smiled with that lopsided curve that was so typical of the Cross brothers. Julian’s lips stretched in an identical pattern to Tristan’s. But where a scar lifted Tristan’s top lip, Julian’s genuine mouth curved so perfectly that I found it difficult to concentrate. Its plumpness and pink shade was nearly irresistible. The bubble mix I’d been holding slipped from my clasp, spilling on the floor and my fluffy socks.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!
I thought, crouching to clean up the mess, fumbling with my hands to collect the purplish goo.

“It’s all right, Kendra. It’s no big deal.” He lowered down to meet my gaze and took my hands into his. The soothing words worked wonders on the sudden tremors of panic that flew through me. Once, I dropped a bottle of water while imprisoned, spilling it to the floor. The consequences were detrimental to my body: I’d been assigned a punishment to the cruelest of fetishes.

The memory of being stripped naked with my hands tied to a bar over my head and legs spread far apart was still fresh. The ropes at my ankles burned. My raw wrists bled as my entire weight hung from them. They’d placed a cold vibrating prod against my flesh. I tensed my thighs, trying to move away at first, but the more they touched the metal tip against me, the less I could resist. And after a while, even if I didn’t want to, my body forced my hips forward, pressing into the pulsating equipment, wanting nothing else but to relieve the pressure. Within a few minutes they’d brought me to a near climax, only to remove the glistening dildo.

Please!
I begged in my mind, slowly easing out of a state of frenzy. And they’d touch me again, repeating the process. This continued for a few rounds. I lost track of time and ached for a release because I had no choice. My entire body shivered, muscles strained, craving those few more seconds of a connection they denied me. A pounding pain throbbed from between my legs, cursing through my entire body. I imagined someone’s lips there, just so I could come and get the torture over with. But the sadists knew what they were doing and wouldn’t allow an orgasm until I was nearly passing out from agony. I’d promised myself if I ever got out I’d never let anyone touch me there again. I just couldn’t.

“Shh, you’re safe, Kendra. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

And as always I found myself in Julian’s safe arms, which brought me back to the present. I didn’t even notice when he leaned me against his body, but it stopped the memory, quite faster than usual.

“I can clean this up later. Here,” he said as he led me to the bathtub where he poured the remaining mix. The smell of lilac sailed through the bathroom. White bubbles foamed on top of the water as Julian checked the temperature with his hand. “You can go in now. I’ll be right there in that chair,” he pointed.

But I held onto his hand. I didn’t think I could stand him being that far away. He was my now, keeping me grounded to the present.

“All right. I’ll stay with you,” he said, as if reading my mind, and then like a gentleman closed his eyes. “Go on in.”

I removed my robe and cotton pajamas and stepped into the tub. Aware of my gaunt body, I wanted to drown in those bubbles, cover myself as fast as I could so Julian wouldn’t have to see me this way; so different from my perfect curves and round breasts I’d flaunted at every guy I saw, in the past, even at the women. Well, that was no more. I refused to behave that way. I didn’t want that kind of attention. I had to find my way back to my old self. How I used to be before I fell into alcohol and drugs: strong and confidant but not bitchy. The thought was like a fairy tale at the moment.

I gazed down at my body. My nearly flat chest and bones poking through skin would be enough to deter anyone. Was that why I’d refused to eat? I didn’t want anyone’s physical affection. I couldn’t take their attraction because that meant they’d eventually touch me in ways I didn’t want them to.

Sliding into the tub, I let out a long, exhausted breath. This was my daily ritual, although one I only shared with Clara, my nurse. She knew me probably better than I knew myself at that moment, and had helped me recover in the past.

Over a week ago I’d thought I’d never again feel warm water every single day, penetrating my skin, heating me to the core. We had been allowed to shower only twice per week, or just before a job if the client was high-class. Most of the time the water was cold; lukewarm at best. Having lost so much weight the past month, my body always felt frozen. These days I slept wearing warm fluffy socks, under a down-filled comforter, and still shivered.

“That smile really suits you,” Julian said, startling me. “Take your time. You’re looking better every day, K.”

Julian stared at me in absolute adoration. My body melted underneath the bubbles and my empty stomach tingled with a warm feeling. I’d wondered on several occasions why he was here. After I had rejected him and what had been done to me, could he truly want to be near me? Even if he forgave me for throwing myself at his brother out of spite and eventually falling in love with him (or so I thought I had), I could never let it go – the guilt would consume me forever. But I had no choice. Those drugs held power over me at the time, and even when my heart guided me toward him, I chose Tristan, his younger brother. I was fifteen at the time; Julian was nineteen. For months I was sure I did it out of revenge – partly because I could, and partly because he went out with someone else before me. Yeah, I was the queen of bitches, and jealousy was my middle name.

Savoring the warm water, I wanted to say something to him again, but my mouth was shut firmly. Instead, I took a sponge and started washing myself. Julian sat at the side of the tub, watching as I pulled the suds along my arms and my chest. He reached for a wash cloth, soaked it, and began washing my back. I recoiled at first.

“I won’t hurt you,” Julian whispered.

My shoulders eased and I leaned my head onto my folded knees. Julian’s clean strokes over my spine felt more welcome than I could have thought. It was as if his scrubs were washing away all those memories, one by one. It was so different from what I’d remembered a touch to be: caring and gentle. My heart pounded in my chest, trying to free itself. I’d never been this grateful for anything in my life. The brush of that cloth on my skin was enough for me to feel like gravity didn’t exist. Or perhaps Julian caused those pleasant feelings to spike?

“Kendra, you need to eat when you finish bathing,” he’d said. “Otherwise they’ll stick tubes up your nose when the doctor comes in tomorrow for your weekly exam.”

I didn’t want to see a doctor. In fact, I didn’t want to see anyone other than Julian. Tristan had come to visit every day. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, and I couldn’t look at Julian the way I liked in Tristan’s presence. I’d moved on from the pain of losing Tristan, finally admitting he was only another addiction. Soon I’d find the strength to apologize for nearly killing him as well. Perhaps he could find it in his heart to forgive me and truly move on with Allie. She was so good for him. They were a perfect match. But not yet: I wasn’t ready to face Tristan just yet.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” he asked.

I shook my head sideways. My stomach grumbled. With Julian at my side, returning to some kind of normalcy felt so much easier. Julian stood up, opening his arms wide, holding a towel. I stepped out of the tub and he wrapped me into the soft cotton. Back in his bedroom, I changed into a fresh set of clothes. I could never get enough of the clean smell of any kind of fabric. I wasn’t sure where all the clothes had come from, but judging from their quality, I bet most were new – and then some were my own, which Julian brought from my apartment. I hadn’t been back there yet and didn’t want to return. That’s where they took me from: my own home. They dragged me from my bed with a bag over my head. I hadn’t been to my club Kissed either, although Julian assured me everything was running smoothly. I liked the way Julian kept talking to me, despite my muted mouth. Part of me didn’t want to go back to work. The lure of drugs and alcohol was still too much. And as bad as I wanted to be healthy, and really truly tried to be, the need to forget and ease my body into a limbo where I wouldn’t feel nor care about anything still drew me in. As much as I wanted to deny it, I was still hooked. Could I ever heal?

 

C
HAPTER
3

 

Snuggled in my bed, I drifted in and out of sleep. A crisp breeze filled the room and I opened my eyes. The wind fluttered the white sheers through the open balcony door. Outside, the picture-perfect night was shadowed by a conversation I could overhear between Julian and Tristan. Each brother held a glass of golden liquid in his hand, which I assumed was scotch. I shut my eyes as just the thought of booze watered my mouth and rushed my veins. I concentrated on their hushed voices, barely loud enough for me to hear.

“I wish we could get in touch with her family,” Julian said to his brother. “There has to be a connection they can make with her to get her out of this.”

“She doesn’t have a family,” Tristan replied. “We’re it. We’ve always been it.”

“You know what I mean, Tristan.”

I opened my eyes.

Julian’s brother lowered his head, shaking it from side to side. “I know. She’s not ready for that kind of shock. And we’d have to run it by them first. You know what the consequences could be, right?”

“This sucks.” Julian kicked a stray pebble off the balcony. Leaning against the railing, he had his back to me. With his neck strained and feet firmly planted on the ground, he lowered his head to his arms.

“It’s part of the job,” Tristan said.

“Remind me to never mix a job with family again.”

“She wasn’t family back then. She was a job and a direct order. If we break the contract, you and I aren’t the only ones who are going to pay.”

I wondered what they meant. Why would they want to contact my foster parents? And at the same time, why wouldn’t they, if they thought it would help me – which I doubted. The fact that I met the Cross family while they were on a job, hired by my father to protect me, wasn’t a secret; but was there more? Was there a part of their service they’d never disclosed? That day I met Julian and Tristan seemed so far in the past, it was sometimes difficult to remember all the details.

This had to be a dream – my imagination working overtime again, hearing things I wanted to hear, twisting a conversation I wasn’t privy to. Wishing I could go back to that simple time in my life when living made sense, and when memories didn’t hurt, I snuggled deeper under the covers. I focused on drifting back to sleep. I needed to focus on the time when all I worried about were silly boys and what outfit to wear. The two most important men in my life had saved me. But that same day I met the Cross brothers my life had changed, and I wished I knew then, not years later, the exact reason why it had.

 

Eight years earlier – Central Canada

 

The train ride across Canada was supposed to be the vacation we never found time for. My parents and I were looking forward to family time and privacy, free from cameras and press. My father had served in Congress since my birth, and in next election he could be running for the Presidency. At least that’s what I’d overheard when he spoke to Mom. It seemed keeping secrets was my family’s specialty, but finding secrets was mine. The news hadn’t been made public yet, so I knew this was a conversation I shouldn’t have eavesdropped on. This surprise trip bubbled fresh excitement inside me. Even if it had been planned at the last minute, I didn’t care.

The security team was always tight around us. A private limo would drive me to school each morning and back home afterwards. I couldn’t go to the mall with my friends. Grant, the security guard sitting in the corner of my private school’s classroom, was there specifically for me. He made any cheating on tests nearly impossible – yes, I said nearly. Crafty see-through pens with rolled-in cheat sheets were still the best way to go. And if that failed, there was always that little sheet pinned underneath the hem of my kilt. But after the incident at my previous school, my parent’s guard was up, and they didn’t even know the whole truth. The past twelve hours they’d been nervous around me, and I couldn’t quite remember why. Weren’t we all supposed to relax on a trip?

I wasn’t a trouble maker, but I knew how to adapt and survive. What teenage girl didn’t? In a world where the design of your clothes, hair style, and the shortness of your skanky skirt defined your status in the high school hierarchy, surviving without using your parents’ money was next to impossible. And I refused to use my family’s wealth for my gain – I refused to be like the other bimbos prowling the hallways for their next nerd victim.
I
was my own person and no one would define me. There were a few of us, so I wasn’t completely alone. Still, it wasn’t easy to make a statement even against the greatest of bitches and keep your self-respect. That was one of the reasons I’d finally switched schools.

BOOK: Layers Off
6.58Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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