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Authors: Johanna Lindsey

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BOOK: Let Love Find You
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She gave him a slight grin. “Ah, I see, good conscience, an excellent quality. You’re proving to be one surprise after another today.”

“And you’re proving to be as exasperating as always. I am a
bastard
. Why do you seem to be shrugging that off? No one else from your station of life would.”

“I understand why you think that way. Yes, some fathers might deny you their daughters if they knew of this, yet some might not. You’d be surprised how many families of quality have that same secret hiding in their ancestral closets. I can count a few I know of where it’s not even a secret. We’ve even had kings who’ve been born on the wrong side of the blanket!”

He snorted at her reference to the royals. “When an heir to the throne is needed, exceptions are made real quick. That’s not the case—”

“Oh, stop. If you didn’t know about this, it wouldn’t be an issue for you, would it? Fie on whoever told you this secret.”

“No one told me,” he replied bitterly. “I figured it out for myself.”

“So you aren’t even sure?”

“I am now. My uncle knew and finally admitted it to me when I confronted him about it.”

And Devin had let this govern his whole life, she guessed. It
was obvious he felt unworthy because of it. Again she felt like crying for him. No one should feel like that based on something that had happened before they were even born, but him—why did she hurt for him? And she did. It was painful to see how adversely he’d let this affect him.

Without thinking, her compassion impelled her to place a soothing hand on his knee, which was still bent halfway across her lap. But she immediately caught the mistake and gasped. Touching a man’s leg for any reason was so far beyond the pale. She tried to cover the gasp with a cough, but he’d heard it. Her touch didn’t go unnoticed either. He actually took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. Merely to thank her for understanding?

“Your empathy astounds me, Mandy,” he said softly. “You keep revealing the unexpected.”

And he didn’t? But she somehow felt closer to him after he’d shared his secret with her. Perhaps they were even becoming friends. . . .

“I’m glad you didn’t soak the blanket with your tears,” he added.

She finally risked glancing at him, then chuckled to see the teasing light in his eyes. “I only cry to good effect. Ask my brother, he’ll assure you of that.”

“Little liar. The least I can do is remove your sadness on my account.”

He was suddenly looking at her so heatedly she thought she might melt. Before he drew her closer with the hand he hadn’t yet let go of, she knew what he was going to do, and that
would
definitely banish all of her sad thoughts. She had time to stop it. She didn’t. She probably couldn’t have if she actually wanted to. Instead she stared in fascination as he slowly drew her across his
lap until she was cradled there in his arms. Then he slowly bent to kiss one of her cheeks, then the other, then even her brow.

He drew back only slightly to say in husky tones, “That was to thank you for your understanding. This, however, is just for me.”

This
was the kiss she’d anticipated, the one she’d been waiting for since the last time his lips had touched hers. That had to be why passion sprang so quickly to life inside her. She’d thought about kissing Devin so often, had wondered if she’d ever experience it again, and now that she was, she held tight to his neck, reveling in the taste of him again.

His fingers gently touched her cheek, then her neck, but she truly caught fire when his hand moved lower and was suddenly resting lightly over one of her breasts. Although she barely felt his hand through the thickness of her clothes, simply the idea that he was touching her there inflamed her and brought forth a moan. Hearing it, he deepened the kiss, his tongue luring hers to dance with his, his hand moving more firmly over her breast. She moaned again, unable to help herself or contain her excitement. The feelings he was stirring in her were amazing! She trembled, could
feel
her blood racing to her core, could
hear
her heart pounding with excitement.

Then she was lying there on the blanket bereft, actually shocked, he got up so quickly. He stood above her running a hand through his hair. He was panting. His face was flushed. When he finally met her eyes, she saw the regret in his. He hadn’t meant to arouse her like that, or himself.

That was even more apparent when he said, “We will forget that happened.”

She was flustered, incredibly disappointed, but she somehow
managed to hide it by sitting up and pertly replying, “Of course, already forgotten.” Yet she knew she’d
never
forget it.

He gave her a skeptical look. She gave him a smile. If it killed her, she wasn’t going to let him know how deeply moved she was by what had just happened. So she added, “I’ll just consider it another lesson from Cupid.”

“Amanda, that’s not why I . . .”

Whatever he was going to say, he changed his mind and fell silent. She was too disturbed to probe or say any more about it herself. But she suddenly had help in putting it from her mind—for now. Getting to her feet, she pointed out to him what was missing and was able to laugh.

“It would appear you’ve caught a fish—and it’s run off with your pole.”

Chapter Thirty-Nine

W
HO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
anyone could be grateful to a fish, but Amanda certainly was today. First she couldn’t help laughing at Devin’s confounded expression when he realized his fishing pole was nowhere in sight, then at the sight of his running along the edge of the creek looking for it. He was almost out of view when he found it.

But that bit of humor helped her to compose herself and push away the last remnants of the amazingly passionate encounter she’d just shared with him. She’d had no idea she could want a man so much, and she could probably have gone on living indefinitely without knowing that if she didn’t keep finding herself alone with such an earthy, virile man as Devin. She couldn’t imagine Kendall losing restraint like that. Robert she could—no, actually not even him. His amorous behavior at the ball had been fueled by drink. Without it he would likely remain the gentleman to a fault, which would exclude stealing kisses or revealing any improper passion prior to marriage.

Aware now that
she
had passions—twice confirmed!—she felt some urgency again about getting married, and quickly, so she could experience more of those passions in the appropriate manner. Yet now she had still another worry, thanks to a few of her married friends who’d admitted their husbands wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed with them and they made love with their bedclothes on! After today, she knew that she would
not
accept that sort of marriage, yet how the deuce could she find out ahead of time whether her choices would be that prudish after marriage? She certainly didn’t have to guess about Devin in that regard. He’d want them as naked as the day they were born. He wouldn’t mind her touching every inch of him. He’d probably encourage it!

She fanned herself for a moment, feeling quite steamy with the thought, then laughed at herself because she was feeling a little chilly now that the sun had gone behind a cloud.

She laughed again over Devin’s expression when he returned. “After all that, the bloody fish got away.”

“Well, I think I’ve had enough fishing for today.” She stood and shook out the blanket in preparation for leaving. “And I confess, I’m eager to meet the mare you brought me, so I’m going to the stable.”

He nodded and took the blanket from her to carry it and grabbed her pole. She paused only long enough to tip over the container of worms so they could crawl back to safety. She caught Devin rolling his eyes at her.

“And you actually thought you could bait your own hook?” he chuckled.

“I used to!”

“What a child will do isn’t a reflection of what the adult
will do, because a child hasn’t yet acquired all the qualities he or she will grow into or develop as an adult.
You
turned out too softhearted, minx.”

She huffed, “That’s not a bad thing.”

“For a woman, no, it’s not.” He offered his arm to her.

She pretended not to notice and quickly moved off ahead of him. She was afraid to get too close to him right now because the passion they’d shared was still too fresh in her mind. He did catch up with her with his longer stride, but he didn’t insist on guiding her through the woods, merely walked beside her, keeping a respectable distance between them.

It took about fifteen minutes to return to the manicured grounds. With the house in full view now, he remarked, “Two hundred guests would fit easily into that edifice.”

She laughed. “Not really. The rooms are all oversize, and while many of the younger guests will be crowded together, many of the older ones will insist on private rooms. Did you get
your
room yet? Depending on how many people show up, you might be asked to share, too.”

“I haven’t been to the house yet. I stabled our horses and went off to fish.”

She wished now that he hadn’t. Some things were best left to the imagination. She’d known that she liked kissing Devin, but now she knew she liked it too much.

“Does she have a name?”

They’d gone straight to the stable and he’d just opened the stall so she could examine her new horse. The mare was beautiful, didn’t have that albino look that some whites had. Her color was solid, her eyes were blue. It was love at first sight!

“You can call her anything you like,” he said.

“I think I’ll call her Sarahtoo.”

“Another Sarah?”

“No, Sarahtoo.” She spelled it for him.

“Lady Amanda, did you want your carriage hitched?” old Herbert asked, approaching them.

“Not today.” She took a moment to introduce the old groom to Devin. “I came to visit my new mare.”

“You’re not happy with the old one?” Herbert asked curiously.

Amanda laughed. “No, I’m going to be riding this one.” When Herbert’s brows rose in surprise, she added, “Devin helped me to get over my fear. I’ve been riding for several weeks now.”

Amazed, Herbert walked away, shaking his head, mumbling, “The man’s a magician!”

She blushed while Devin chuckled. “Does everyone here know about your . . . reluctance to get back on a horse?”

“No, just my family and Herbert. He was my original instructor when I was a child.”

Devin nodded, understanding, then glanced across the aisle. “Who does that fine-looking Thoroughbred mare belong to? I noticed her immediately when I got here.”

Amanda didn’t have to look to know which horse he was talking about. “Me. She won two races. Her owner retired her with that undefeated record so he could demand an exorbitant price for her! My aunt heard that she was going to be sold, and I talked my father into buying her for me. That was four years ago.”

“But you were afraid to ride, so why would you want a horse like that?”

“For my carriage! I love racing it to Norford Town and back.”

Devin gave her an incredulous look. “Your father doesn’t object to that?”

She grinned. “Shh, he doesn’t know.”

“What else doesn’t he—?”

He cut himself off abruptly and took his eyes off her.
She
blushed. His tone had been sensual! But he obviously hadn’t meant it to be or hadn’t meant to allude to their second kissing lesson, which she didn’t doubt he’d been thinking of.

He cleared his throat and forced a casual tone. “So you never had her race again?”

“No, I liked owning an undefeated champion. While I was tempted a time or two to enter her, I resisted the urge because I didn’t want to take the chance of her losing her title.”

“Has she ever bred?”

“No.”

“Would you like to have her bred?”

Amanda shrugged. “I never thought of it because that would have kept me from using her as my carriage horse, but I just might be riding to town henceforth on Sarahtoo, so that could be a possibility now. Are you recommending one of your stallions? A joint venture, as it were?”

“She could produce a champion. You wouldn’t mind sharing a horse with me and having it entered in the races?”

What an exciting idea! A horse she actually owned racing
and
winning! Well, half-owned. But she liked the idea of sharing something like that with Devin even more. It would mean that she wouldn’t lose contact with him after . . . she married. What the devil. She’d just been deflated at the thought of marriage?!

Thoroughly confused by her emotions, she merely said, “Definitely something to think about.”

“In the meantime, are you ready for another lesson?”

Her stomach fluttered at those words! Because “lessons” with him had gone beyond riding. But he
only
meant on the mare, of course, and she left the stall, saying, “I’ll need to change clothes first, and you need to get settled in the house. I’ll meet you back here within the hour.” And she hurried away before he noticed her blush.

Chapter Forty

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