Made to Love (6 page)

“I’m sorry. I’ve upset you.” Marly felt immediately guilty. “I just knew you would want to say your
good-byes."

“Thank you.” Mason nodded somberly. “It just makes it all too real. Part of me wants to wake up and realize this was all a bad dream, but I know that’s nonsense. I’m too much of an idealist at times.”

“At least you’re not a pessimist.” Marly’s condescending tone was meant for her own emotions, or lack of them. In truth, she probably wasn’t a pessimist, but she was certainly a realist. She didn’t subscribe to the
glass is half-full
mentality, preferring to go through life practically, with as little romanticism as possible. Pragmatic, someone once called her. Funny, now it sounded more negative, highlighting a life devoid of feeling. “The sad fact is that a woman who wasn’t related by blood had more of a connection with my mother than I ever allowed myself. I should be devastated and instead my mind is busy trying to figure out what to do with the house and all her stuff. Is that wrong?”

Mason held Marly’s gaze. She wanted to immediately shout that it was wrong. She didn’t understand how Marly couldn’t have a bond with the woman she had grown to love.
However, something stopped her. She recognized the haunted look in Marly’s eyes. She wore the look of someone starving for affection and not sure just how to ask for it. She didn’t know any better. Marly had forgotten what it was like to feel. Mason had seen that look growing up, so there was a part of her that could empathize with Marly. “It’s not wrong; it's just who you are. You have your reasons for that, even if I don’t understand them.”

“What was she like? With you, I mean.” Marly felt an overwhelming urge to know her mother, but through less negative eyes.

Mason shrugged, unsure how to sum up Anne Cabot in a few sentences. “She was kind, compassionate, and loyal to a fault. But there was also a part of her that seemed sad. As though she were constantly looking for something she’d lost. She never spoke about it, preferring to focus on the things that made her happy.”

“You made her
happy; I imagine.”

“I hope so.” Mason picked up a piece of scrap metal and turned it over in her hands. “I think Anne was like one of my sculptures. She was flawed in places, but she was strong like steel, forged from something deep inside; like lots of smaller, imperfect pieces that came together in a beautiful piece of art. Anne was like a mother to me. I remember the first time we met. I had just moved
in, and she was the self-appointed welcoming committee. She brought me cookies…just like you, actually. I felt a kindred spirit in her. Over the years, she became my surrogate mom. It didn’t seem weird or strange to feel as close to her as I did. There was none of the censure I grew up with. She was there through all the hard times I’ve had since moving here.” Mason’s voice cracked, and she paused to quell her emotions before they got the best of her. “Anne was…Anne was special. I know that probably doesn’t help, what with your memories of her and all.”

“No, it does.” Marly mulled over Mason’s words for several seconds. “I left so long ago that I barely remember the reasons why. My mother was a different woman then. After my dad left, she pushed me so hard. I think she didn’t want me to have to rely on someone who would let me down. But she put her failures on me, and as a kid, I didn’t have the shoulders to hold that responsibility. Before I knew it, there was a wall between us that I couldn’t see over. Honestly, I didn’t want to. I resented what she made us, and I left.”

“She wasn’t that woman anymore.” Mason spoke softly, her voice tinged with sadness. “She made mistakes. Hell, we all do. At least, I know the reason she was always looking behind her.” Mason paused, her eyes searching Marly’s face. “I know it doesn’t change anything between you two, but looking back I know she never gave up hope of having a relationship with you again.”

Marly’s brow crinkled in confusion. “I thought she didn’t talk about me.”

“She didn’t very much. It’s just a feeling I have.” Mason dusted off her hands. “It always seemed like she was hopeful for something, or someone. She used to say ‘isn’t it nice to think about what surprises tomorrow will bring?’
.
She appreciated her todays, you know. But she always looked forward to something wonderful the next day. I think that surprise was you.”

Marly’s face crumbled. The past few days
were a whirlwind. The call that her mother had passed away, the trip home, being in the house she had fled from years before, planning the last details for a woman she barely knew and now the emotion of knowing that her mother never stopped hoping she would come home. “She never asked me to come back.”

“She wouldn’t. She wasn’t the type.”

“I am an asshole.” Marly ran a hand through her hair and looked up toward the ceiling.

“I can’t say that. I don’t know
you, and I don’t know your situation.” Mason pulled Marly outside and forced her to breathe. “What I do know is that you never know how much time you will have with someone. We go through life always saying I’ll do that later, or I’ll call her tomorrow, but sometimes we don’t get tomorrow. Don’t let your last thoughts be ones of regret. You can beat yourself up all you want, but it won’t bring her back. Think about all the good times you did have. I know there has to be a few of them. Anne wouldn’t want you to carry all that guilt.”

Marly sniffed and laughed sardonically. “Let me know your secret for dumpin
g all of that. It seems like I picked up the guilt like a heavy rock and spent my life looking for a place to set it down, but I never found that perfect spot. One day, I looked around and realized that I gradually let that guilt become a part of me, and now I don’t really know how to live without it. It’s become part of who I am.”

“That guilt will eat you alive
. It’s toxic. If you let it, the guilt will become what motivates you. It will fill every part of your being until it has taken up every bit of empty space, leaving no room for anything else. You can wish all day long that you were a better daughter, but it doesn’t change this outcome. Anne would want you to focus on the future. To take the guilt and use it to make you a better person going forward.” Mason paused and glanced toward Anne’s house. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but Anne loved that old house. Maybe you could stick around while you figure out who you want to be going forward. It will make it seem not so empty.”

Marly started to shake her head no, but the hopeful look on Mason’s face stopped her. Perhaps, it was time to re-evaluate her life and her priorities. Marly had been running so long she no longer realized where she was, or more importantly, who she was. “Maybe you’re right.”

Mason’s face broke into a relieved smile. “I know I am.”

“I should probably go. I’ve kept you long enough.” Marly turned to go then
spun around and shot Mason a cryptic smile. “Sometimes in advertising, a company just needs to rebrand itself, spice up the packaging.” Marly laughed at Mason’s blank stare. “The purple-haired goddess…if you’re serious about her, I can help.” Marly narrowed the gap between them and tugged on Mason’s overalls. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re gorgeous now, but with a little tweaking, she won’t be able to say no to you the next time. We just need to find what appeals to her.”

“I’m not changing for some girl, no matter who she is.” Mason’s jaw tightened reflexively. “If she doesn’t like me for
me, then screw it.”

“Hmm…” Marly cocked her head and studied Mason thoughtfully. “I’m not saying you need to change, just update your logo, so to speak. I could help you with that.”

Mason opened her mouth then shut it quickly. Her brows knitted together as she gave thought to Marly’s words. A quick look at her outfit and she knew that Marly might be right. “Okay, if I agree to this ridiculous plan of yours, you have to promise that you won’t push if I say uncle.”

“I swear.” Marly nodded solemnly. “I won’t push. Promise.” A smile formed in the corner of Marly’s mouth. A new project seemed like a good distraction. Hopefully, it would take her mind off her overwhelming guilt. Marly brushed the straps of Mason’s overalls once more then stepped back. “You get her here and I’ll take care of the rest. Deal?”

Mason groaned loudly. “I’ve never had to work for a girl before.”

“Button up, kitten…we got work to do. It’s not worth it if you don’t have to work for it. Would you rather she just lay down and give it up?” Marly caught the glare that Mason shot
her, and she chuckled. “Besides, the chase is half the fun. It will make you appreciate her more.”

“Argh.” Mason ran a hand through her unruly hair.

Marly swatted Mason’s cheek playfully. “Who’s a good girl? Mason’s a good girl. Yes, she is.” Marly jumped at the look on Mason’s face, and she scampered just out of reach then laughed wickedly. “Don’t bite me, Coyote. I’m just trying to help.” Marly waggled her fingers and turned to go.

“Yeah, yeah.” Mason watched Marly walk back to her house, listening to her laughter echo between them. She smiled and shook her head, chuckling at the idea of Marly rebranding her. The idea seemed entirely ridiculous, but the curious part of Mason made her think about the possibilities of winning Nikki over. There was just something about her brown eyes and those lips…those lips that Mason was dying to kiss. As the seconds passed, Mason started to believe that Marly’s plan might just work. She rubbed her palms over her
worn-out overalls and agreed she could use a little make over, no matter what the reason. Mason headed back into the garage and eyed the woman she and Marly had started. She chuckled as she ran a hand over the flowing curves. Marly nailed her fairly easily. The piece was inspired by Nikki. Perhaps, one day Mason would be able to run her hands over the real thing. She grinned lasciviously as she pulled her mask on and started to work on the hair.

Chapter 7

Mason took the steps two at a time then rapped on the door loudly. She forced a smile when Lex opened the door. “Hey, how are you?”

“Good.” Lex stood back and let Mason pass. “She’s in the studio.”

“Thanks.” Mason nodded then went in search of Aspen, finding her perched on a stool, looking rather uncomfortable. “I’m going for a run. Want to join me?”

Aspen glared at Mason. “Funny. I am fat and uncomfortable. I have to pee all the time, and the kid is kicking me so much I think he or she is playing soccer with my uterus. I am having contractions, and the thought of trying to fit my ass into a lawn chair, only to spend five minutes fighting gravity when I have to pee again, doesn’t sound the least bit appealing. And how are you?”

Mason’s eyes widened slightly. She hadn’t been around many pregnant women
. Her younger sister years before, but that didn’t count. Michelle was nineteen and the baby of the family when she got knocked up. Her mother spent every waking moment making sure Shelley was comfortable, careful not to do anything to upset her. That was the final straw in Mason’s own strangled relationship with her mother. While Aspen was exhibiting the normal behavior of someone nine months pregnant, Mason knew that outside of her pregnancy, Aspen wasn’t the spoiled teenager her sister had been. “I’m okay, thanks. I got another few pieces done. You?”

“Getting there.” Aspen set her charcoal down and dusted her hands o
ff on a rag. “I figure by September, I should be okay. Nikki said you were hard at work the other morning.”

“Nikki mentioned me?” Mason felt her neck get
hot, and she tried to play off her excitement at the mere mention of Nikki’s name.

Aspen’s eyes
narrowed, and she studied Mason’s face thoughtfully. She took a step toward Mason and rested her palm on her forearm. “Listen, honey, I’m not one to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, but be careful around her, okay? I would hate to see you get hurt.”

“Shoot.” Mason waved her hand dismissively. “I’m sure that a
big-city girl like Nikki doesn’t have any interest in some country bumpkin like me. We’re just friends. Honest.”

“Okay.” Aspen held her gaze several more beats before groaning. “Oh.” She rubbed her stomach and exhaled loudly. “I’ve had contractions the last co
uple of days, but I think they were a false alarm. I’m hoping these are different. Maybe some loud jazz music and dancing will get this kid moving.”

“Speaking of…” Lex walked into the studio and smiled apologetically. “…I kind of invited Nikki to join us. She called and sounded pretty down, so I thought it may help to get her out of the house for a while. I hope you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine with me.” Mason almost wished she hadn’t spoken so soon. She didn’t want either of them to know she was as smitten with Nikki as she was. Mason toyed with the idea of inviting Nikki herself, but didn’t want to overstep her bounds.

Lex let out a relieved sigh. She didn’t miss Aspen rolling her eyes, but figured she could make up for that later. “She’s changing really
fast and then she’ll meet us outside.” Lex backed out of the room quickly, avoiding the daggers that Aspen was shooting her direction. She understood them. So far, Nikki behaved in typical Nikki fashion. The bunkhouse was a disaster. It looked like a tornado had rolled through Nikki’s closet. She had accepted and shown up late for every dinner invitation that Lex offered. The icing on the cake happened the night before. Because the weather was so nice, both houses had their windows open, letting the occupants enjoy the late spring temperatures. At two am, after hours of music so loud it would wake the dead, Aspen had been forced to close up the house in order to get some peace. The only saving grace in all of it was Nikki was doing all of this on her own. She hadn’t had company yet, at least to the best of Lex’s knowledge she hadn’t. “I’m going to load the car up, and we are good to go.”

“Mark my words
, we won’t leave for another twenty minutes.” Aspen rolled her eyes again. “So, how are things with the new neighbor?” Her curiosity was heightened by the fact that she wanted to find a suitable distraction to get Mason’s mind off of Nikki. “She seems nice.”

“Mm…” Mason offered her arm to Aspen. “She’s fine.”

“Is she going to let you keep your stuff in her yard?”

“For the time being.” Mason settled Aspen in a chair at the kitchen table and sat down across from her. “She’s not sure what she will do with the house. Marly doesn’t seem the staying type. I get the feeling she gets antsy if she gets stuck in one place too long.”

“Maybe she just hasn’t found the right place yet.” Aspen offered hopefully. She turned at a noise and nearly fell out of her seat when Nikki walked into the kitchen. “Nikki.”

“A
.” Nikki shot her a smile then turned on the charm when she saw Mason. “Hi.”

To her credit, Mason kept her cool. It was nearly impossible given the outfit that Nikki was wearing. A see-through shirt of blue webbing barely covered the skintight tank top that clung to her body like a second skin, black thigh-high leather skirt and electric blue heels that had to be
at least five inches tall completed the outfit. Her hair was artfully arranged in a mohawk that was taller than normal, and her face looked like something out of a fashion magazine. Mason’s eyes traveled up and down the length of her body, and she gulped loudly. “Hi…Ni…Nikki.”

Aspen watched the interaction and shook her head. “You sure you will be comfortable in that outfit?”

“Oh, sure.” Nikki dismissed Aspen’s concern handily. She started going through cabinets one-by-one. “Hey, Lex said there was a new bottle of Grey Goose in here. I’m fresh out.” She closed another door and frowned in Aspen’s direction. “I want to sneak some in with me.”

Aspen shook her head and pointed to the pantry. “I don’t think you can just walk in with a bottle of vodka.”

“I’ll just pour it into a water bottle. Certainly, they will let me in with that.” Nikki opened the pantry and grabbed the unopened bottle. She emptied her water bottle into the sink and skillfully poured the vodka into the bottle. When she finished, she offered Mason a smug grin. “You can share this with me. Preggars over there will just have to be jealous.”

Aspen opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when Lex walked in. “We’re all set.” Lex put her hands out and hoisted Aspen to her feet. “I packed an extra blanket. I wasn’t sure how comfortable you would be in the lawn chair.”

Aspen smiled then cupped her belly and inhaled sharply.

“Another one?” Lex looked concerned. “How far apart now? Should we go to the hospital? We should. Let’s skip the festival. I’ll page Dr. Weller and let him know we are coming.” Lex tugged on her ponytail. “Let me grab your bag.”

Aspen put her hand on Lex’s arm and smiled. “Honey, calm down. It’s not time yet. They are still pretty irregular. Besides, I need a distraction.”

“Are you sure?” Lex hesitated, not
certain she wanted to get stuck at the jazz fest in case the baby decided it was time. “I don’t want anything…”

“Babe, it’s okay. Nothing is going to happen.” Aspen opened the back door and let out a sigh. “Now help me down these stairs.”

Lex caught Mason’s gaze and rolled her eyes. Aspen was anything if not stubborn. “Mase, can you grab that cooler?”

Mason picked up the small cooler and let Nikki fall in step in front of her. Mason let her eyes fall to Nikki’s long legs. She knew she shouldn’t be staring, but Nikki was obviously inviting the looks with that outfit. Mason drank in the long curves, forcing her eyes back up when she pictured those legs wrapped tightly around her body.

“So, Mason, you’re a jazz fan?”

Mason pulled the door shut behind her and met Nikki’s inquisitive stare. She shrugged noncommittally. “It’s alright. Anne loved it, so we listened to it most nights. I prefer anything from the 70’s. Give me Van Morrison or Pink Floyd and a beer and I’m a happy girl. What about you?”

“Eh, I could take it or leave it.” Nikki paused as Mason opened the car door for her to get in. “Thanks.” She waited for everyone else to get in the car. “I’m not a huge jazz fan, but I needed to get out of the house. It feels like it’s swallowing me whole.”

“Might not, if you cleaned up.”
Aspen had only been to the bunkhouse once in the month since Nikki arrived. She walked in and the disaster that greeted her was enough to send her OCD into a tailspin. She forced herself to drop the mail on the island and leave before she either screamed or started cleaning.

Lex squeezed Aspen’s hand and shot her a look. She checked Nikki’s reflection in the rearview mirror. Satisfied
that Nikki hadn’t heard Aspen’s muttered complaint, Lex turned onto the highway and headed toward town. “              I’m with you, Mason. I love anything from the 70’s. Favorite song?”

“Sundown.” Before anyone could utter another word, Lex and Mason broke out into an
off-key rendition of Gordon Lightfoot’s song “Sundown”, much to everyone else’s chagrin. 

“No one will ever accuse you of being talented.” Nikki stuck her tongue out at Lex’s glare. “You know I am not even lying. You take after your mom.”

“Nicole, don’t make me bust out the Pudding Pop story.”

Nikki inhaled sharply and shook her fist in Lex’s direction. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Lex waggled her eyebrows wickedly. “Oh, wouldn’t I?”

“Wait, what’s the pudding pop story?” Mason turned sideways in her seat, waiting for the story.

Nikki reddened considerably as she silently begged Lex not to tell the story. Her ego had taken enough of a hit over the past few months. She didn’t need reminders of her less than stellar childhood on top of it.

Mason sensed Nikki’s discomfort and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “We all have things in our past we would like to forget. Isn’t that right, Lex?”

“I don’t know what…” Catching the subtle shake of Mason’s head stopped Lex mid-sentence. She opted to take the high road. “Aspen loves alternative and singer-songwriter, mostly current artists. What about you, Nik? Anything you like?”

Nikki shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I can’t remember the last time I picked something just for me.”

“Oh.” Lex navigated a sharp turn then resumed the conversation. “Remember when Pop would put on Juice Newton, and we would run circles around the house to “Queen of Hearts”?”

“Oh, man, I haven’t thought about that in ages.” Nikki was silent for a moment as her mind flew back almost thirty years. She pictured herself, Lex
, and all the kids chasing each other around the house. She could hear the song in her head as she felt her body letting go. For the first time in ages, Nikki started to relax. “Pops was always cooler than every other parent on the block.”

“He was.” Lex’s smile widened. “Now, all he does is sit in his chair in the den and harass Ma.” Lex turned into a parking garage on Winooski. “Is this okay?”

Aspen nodded. “It should be. I think I can still walk a few blocks.” She rubbed her stomach and took a deep breath. Noticing Lex’s concern, Aspen shook her head. “I’m fine, honey. I promise.”

Lex hopped out
and ran around the car, opened Aspen’s door and reached down to help her out. “We’re a little late, but it should be okay. Cecile doesn’t play until eight, and we have tickets for that.” Cecile McLorin Salvant was one of their favorites. She reminded them of a cross between Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. Her sound was reminiscent of great jazz from the 20’s and 30’s.

“I will admit I do like her.” Nikki got out and grabbed a chair. “I didn’t know she would be playing here.”

Lex winced at the disdain in Nikki’s voice on the word here. “Burlington’s a good size town, and a huge tourist destination to boot. It isn’t like we live in the sticks. There are a lot of great artists who play here.” Lex handed Mason two more chairs and shut the trunk firmly. “The show is in the Marketplace today. They move the performances around during the day. The big acts, like Cecile, play at Flynn Center.”

“I scored tickets from the gallery.” Aspen slipped her arm through Lex’s and rested her other hand on her stomach. She rubbed lazy circles around her belly without even realizing it. “The outdoor shows are fun, though. You can get up and dance if you want. Maybe some sweet dance moves will encourage someone to make an appearance sooner than later.”

“What’s your due date?” Mason fell in step next to Nikki.

“It’s the 15
th
, but Dr. Weller said anytime now is fine. I am hoping he or she decide they want to see the world sooner than later.”

“June 12
th
would be good.” Lex weaved her way through people to an empty spot in front of Sweet Lady Jane, one of the many shops located along the pedestrian walkway of the Church Street Marketplace. There were already hundreds of people filling the wide, brick-lined street. She popped the first of their lawn chairs open and laid the folded blanket over the seat. She held Aspen’s hands as she lowered herself into the chair with a loud grunt. “Or sooner.”

“What’s the 12
th
?” Mason offered Nikki the first empty chair.

“It’s
Pop's birthday. He would love to have a grandbaby born on the same day as him.”

One look at the discomfort on Aspen’s face and Mason knew even a day more would be uncomfortable. “We can all take turns dancing with you. Shake that baby out of there.”