Meant To Be (7 page)

Gran had filled any spare time she had with working for the community. Barbara had asked Emily to join CWA and, as much as she'd have enjoyed more time with her, she'd resisted. She couldn't knit, crochet, or arrange flowers. Therefore, she argued, she was absolutely not CWA material. Though, she'd always be happy to lend a hand with baking for fundraisers.

Perhaps driving for Meals on Wheels might be the way to go. As a child during school holidays she'd loved walking up to the door with the tray of food while Gran sat in the idling car nearby. But Gran had lived in town. Emily was a little too far out. She'd have to think about it.

Or was it time to have a child? As the thought crossed her mind she was disappointed at how practical – how rational – it sounded. Where was the ticking biological clock, that desperate need she'd heard other women talk about? She shook her head. The time wasn't right. It was definitely too soon for her and Jake, and, really, she needed more distance from all that had gone on in her life recently.

While it often felt like years had passed since she'd left John and he'd had a car accident and died, the reality was that it was all very recent.

Emily found herself wondering if Gran had felt time passing quickly or excruciatingly slowly while she lived with Alzheimer's and was up in the hostel on the hill. The poor old dear had really just been marking time for a number of years.
Which is exactly what you are doing right now.
The words in her head sounded uncannily like Gran's.

Emily sat down at what had been John's desk in the spare room. Jake's laptop sat closed beside the monitor connected to her tower-style PC. The rest of the large desk was covered in paperwork. There were carefully arranged piles of bills and receipts to be filed, sheets of correspondence from the lawyers regarding
the estate, bank statements, and a stack of assorted miscellaneous items she wasn't sure how to file. She considered getting it all into the empty filing cabinets and out of sight, but she couldn't muster any enthusiasm. She was feeling restless to do something, but admin was the last thing she felt like doing.

She walked through to the adjoining room. It was empty except for a plain double ensemble bed covered in an old-fashioned powder blue candlewick bedspread. With its rose-patterned wall-to-wall carpet that was around nineteen forties or fifties vintage, it was a more feminine room than the office, which had carpet in an autumn leaf design – oranges, browns, and dark pinks on a plain pale grey background.

Grace trotted in and began snuffling her way around the room.

John never used to come in here because it was the room his grandfather had passed away in. Emily didn't have a problem with it; if his grandfather was haunting the place, she figured he wouldn't confine himself solely to this room, and would have surely shown signs of his presence before now. Not that she knew anything about ghosts and how they operated.

Occasionally relatives of John's had stayed here over the years, apparently without complaint. Now, as Emily sat staring around her looking for inspiration, she wondered if her life with John might have been better if she'd had a room of her own to indulge in some hobbies. Why hadn't she pushed harder to get her own computer? Well, that one was obvious: John would have said it was hardly worth the expense when she'd probably only need it for the odd hour here and there. And how could she have argued with that sort of logic?

Emily closed her eyes and tried to conjure up her perfect office space, not that she really needed an office. Though, now there was no one to tell her so, she liked the idea more and more. And anyway, she was running a business now, wasn't she? The farm
was hers – well, it would be when the probate came through and the estate was officially finalised.

God, the thought of all it entailed made her head fuzzy. She and David had signed the agreement for the sheep, and he'd promised to take her over the farm and give her a bit of a rundown on it all when he got the chance. Meanwhile, Emily was a little embarrassed to admit that she quite liked remaining blissfully ignorant.

Staring at the beige walls around her, she suddenly burned with inspiration and the desire to act NOW. If she could choose any colour she liked, what would it be? She looked down. The carpet was a multitude of pinks, purples and a few greens depicting foliage on a beige background. There was a great choice of colours right there in front of her, and not so many as to be overwhelming. She felt herself drawn to the pinker tones. But if she chose one, how was she then to get it translated into a paint colour? She couldn't exactly cut out a chunk of carpet and have it matched.
Ah, but I could go and get a heap of sample pots.
That would be fun. She stared at the floor for a few moments, trying to commit the colour to memory.

Emily didn't think she'd take the carpet up even if she wasn't in such a hurry to put her own stamp on the room. It was really quite lovely. She would give it a decent vacuum and the walls and woodwork a decent wipe-down before painting, and perhaps even get the visiting carpet-cleaning guy in next time he was in town. But for now she was off to the hardware shop to get some paint. She practically skipped out of the room in her excitement.

A few days ago, Jake had said he wouldn't mind checking out the shops selling antiques and bric-a-brac scattered about the district. It would be nice to go looking for something in particular, rather than just browsing aimlessly. Maybe Barbara and David could come along too. It would be great to have Barbara's opinion
and then Jake and David could chat together while she and Barbara shopped guilt-free.

She almost pulled the car over to get out her mobile phone. No, she'd discuss it with Jake first. For all she knew he was planning to visit Whyalla and check on the project he was involved with up there. He had mentioned the need to get back up there in the next few weeks.

Emily had been a little concerned that he was getting into work again too soon, but he'd reassured her that he was okay and taking careful note of any signs his progress might be slipping. And how could she say otherwise when his face lit up a little at the mere mention of a project or a client.

He was so kidding himself if he thought he could take three to six months off work.
A slight sadness descended on her, but she pushed it aside. He had made no mention of going back to Melbourne.

Emily was standing in the doorway surveying her work when she heard the glass sliding door open and close.

‘Em? Sweetie, are you here?'

‘Up here in the spare room,' she called whilst continuing to stare at the fresh paint job.

It's very pink
, she thought. S
hould I have perhaps just done a feature wall?

It was what Doris at the hardware store had assumed she was doing. Emily was now wondering if her comment had in fact been a hint that doing a whole room in that colour would be too much. Perhaps if she did the skirtings and door and window frames in white it would look better. But she couldn't help feeling that it would be sacrilegious to cover up the lovely grain of the timber. Weren't people falling over themselves to strip back the woodwork of old houses these days?

‘Wow! Haven't you been busy,' Jake said, appearing behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist and laying his head on her shoulder. ‘Great colour.'

‘Do you think so? Honestly? I'm beginning to wonder if it's too much.'

‘No way. I love it. I think when you get some more furniture in here it'll make all the difference. You just need time to get used to it. And if you don't, we can paint over it again. So, what is it to be – spare room, or what?'

‘Office-slash-whatever else I decide it is.'

‘I hope this isn't a sign I'm outstaying my welcome,' Jake said, suddenly serious.

‘Why would you say that?'

‘Well, you already have a perfectly adequate office next door.'

‘No, this is about me putting my stamp on the house. I love having all this time on my hands, but I think it's sending me a little nuts. I just got a sudden urge. If I wanted that room, I would've asked you to move in here.' She put her arms around him. ‘Honestly, I love having you here.'
And I don't want you to ever leave
, she added silently. ‘So you really don't think it's too much?' Emily asked when they parted.

‘Not at all, but you will need to be careful about what window covering you end up using – to make sure the room isn't too busy. What great carpet,' he added, peeling the drop cloth back a bit and staring at the floor.

‘I was thinking of leaving the bed and just adding a desk and chair and maybe an arm or wing chair and lamp. But it'll all depend on what's out there and how much everything is. I don't want to spend a fortune.'

‘Well, I reckon Simone would match the covering on the chair to the curtains and put a matching cushion on the bed to tie it in,' Jake said thoughtfully.

‘Hmm,' Emily agreed absently while still taking in the new colour. The longer she looked at it, the more she liked it. And she
was also starting to see where pieces of furniture could go. It was actually quite exciting.

Looking back down at the carpet, she noticed that there was quite a bit of black in the design. By bringing out the deep pink of the roses, she seemed to have also inadvertently highlighted their subtle black edging. It was interesting how colour worked.

Perhaps black and white check would work for the curtains and upholstery. Emily brought a finger to her lips and tapped while she thought. Suddenly a bubble of inspiration burst in her head. She opened her mouth to share, but Jake, who had been silently taking in their surroundings, spoke at exactly the same moment.

‘I think a mossy green check might work well for the upholstery and curtains – and you could do a matching roman blind for extra insulation, if it's needed.' Jake was now squatting on the carpet and tapping a finger on it. ‘See, there's quite a bit of green in here.'

Emily laughed. ‘I just had the same thought. Why try to be clever when someone else has already done the colour matching for me?' she said.

‘Exactly. And it really is lovely carpet. I bet it cost a fortune in its day,' Jake added.

‘It's pretty feminine,' Emily said.

‘Nothing wrong with that. I happen to like feminine,' he said, standing upright and drawing her into another hug, and nuzzling her neck.

‘I need a shower. Care to save some water with me?'

‘Well, I've probably got some paint splotches I need help removing.' She grinned.

Later they lay stretched out naked in bed. They had made love and snuggled, and finally become too warm.

‘So how was your day playing farmer again?' Emily asked, rolling onto her side to look at Jake.

His face lit up. ‘Great. Today I got to see a boom sprayer in action! I wish they didn't have to use chemicals, but it seems there's no getting around it. I thought it was lovely and green, considering it's the middle of summer. But David tells me the summer weeds are a big problem. It's hard to follow sometimes. I thought farmers always wanted rain. But apparently the last lot they had has now caused problems. Beats me.'

Emily fleetingly thought about how lax John had been with chemical safety – he'd never even worn gloves for measuring out chemicals. ‘I hope you wore safety gear.'

‘Yeah, David's a stickler in that department. You hear about farmers taking risks and not being careful, but we were covered from head to toe.'

‘So, are you off with him again tomorrow?'

‘Yep, if that's okay with you – just a couple more hours rolling up at his place. So, I'll need the car, unless you need to go anywhere?'

‘No, that's fine. But as long as you're not overdoing it.' Emily hated being a nag, but she was concerned about him.

‘I'm feeling good. Even better now…' he said, grinning cheekily at her. He reached an arm across and traced a finger the length of Emily's bare belly, causing her to shudder with pleasure again.

*

Emily woke the next day feeling very excited. She and Barbara were heading to Port Lincoln for a girls' day out – an all-day shopping trip. Since meeting, they'd idly discussed it a number of times, but Emily had never fully committed. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to go, but she had always figured that being unable to actually spend money on anything but the barest of
bare essentials would make for a depressing day. And window-shopping wasn't her idea of fun.

What could be worse than seeing all those beautifully displayed windows, shop floors, and advertisements when one couldn't afford to indulge? What if she lost her willpower for a moment and whipped out her credit card as if it wasn't real money leaving her account? So, Emily had decided it was best to avoid the temptation altogether.

Today would be an entirely different story, though she would still have to keep herself in firm check. Having been so tightly restrained for so long – whilst married to John and then so cash-strapped for the past few months – a stray purchase was bound to signal something in her brain akin to opening the floodgates. Luckily Barbara wasn't a frivolous shopper, so she would help keep her on the straight and narrow.

For a fleeting moment Emily wondered if Barbara would want to spend the day trawling baby shops. It was still very early days, but it might be nice to pick up a little present for the baby. Would that make her clucky? Oh well, she'd just have to wait and see.

Jake was still asleep, so she carefully got out of bed, stepped around Grace in her position on the floor, dragged her bathrobe from the hook on the back of the door, and made her way through to the bathroom to shower.

A few minutes later, Jake wandered in while she was rinsing her hair and humming to herself.

‘Someone's chirpy this morning,' he said, opening the sliding shower screen to give her a quick peck. ‘Nothing like the lure of the big smoke full of bright, shiny objects, huh?'