More Than He Expected (6 page)

Having her a hundred yards away and shaded from the sun removed
the temptation. It also helped that Gwen had continued to keep her distance
today.

After last night and the way she’d bolted after their kiss by
the water, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He was hoping a little time alone
thinking about him would soften her resolve, but if it had, he couldn’t tell.
Perhaps he’d moved too fast. She hadn’t minded the first time they were
together, but she seemed as though she was in a different place now, mentally
and emotionally. Maybe the baby had planted seeds in her mind about a family of
her own. Or maybe she really was serious about this man-break thing. He could
see the confusion in her eyes when he got too close. It was cloaked beneath a
layer of desire, but she was obviously conflicted about getting involved with
him again.

Maybe there was a reason he never returned to the same fishing
hole, so to speak. Since he’d hit puberty, he hadn’t spent more than a few weeks
with any one woman, and not once had he seen the same woman a second time after
they parted ways. Alex had convinced himself that since there were over three
billion women in the world—four million of them in New York City—there was
absolutely no reason for him to taste the same fruit twice.

But maybe the truth of the matter was that he knew the second
bite might be sour. He knew how women thought. Even though they smiled and told
you they were okay, they were lying. And when they said they weren’t looking for
anything serious, that just meant that you could wait a year or two before
proposing. His mother had told his father something like that, then had
immediately gotten pregnant so he would marry her. As far as Alex knew, they’d
been miserable nearly every day since.

That would never be Alex. Unfortunately, women always wanted
more than he could give, so he drew his line in the sand. One time around the
block and on to the next woman before things got hairy. His methods had served
him well over the years. Every romantic entanglement had an escape hatch large
enough to drive his Corvette through it.

But Gwen was different.

Alex had had that thought a hundred times since he had first
seen her at the welcome breakfast, and it was always about a different facet of
her. She aroused him. Surprised him. Irritated him. Stirred a ridiculously
protective instinct in him. And worst of all, Gwen had kept his interest. Months
had gone by without him seeing her, yet she regularly plagued his dreams. The
temptation of her had him breaking his own rule and rearranging his Fourth of
July plans to see her again. That had never happened before.

And it was only so she could end up rejecting him. That was a
new thing, too. He wasn’t so pleased with how things had gone so far, but it
wasn’t over. He had no doubt he’d be victorious and get Gwen back into his
bed.

The sound of a whistle caught his attention. The first half of
the match was over. A man announced over the loudspeakers that it was time for
the divot stomp and invited everyone out onto the field.

Alex watched as Gwen and Adrienne joined the others on the
lawn. They laughed at each other, flipping over stray tufts of grass and looking
fairly ridiculous. Gwen seemed to be having a lot of fun. He had the urge to go
to her and wrap his arm around her waist to keep her steady as she hopped across
the field. He wanted to hear her laughter up close. But she didn’t want him
there, so he held his spot, leaning against an ancient oak tree with his hands
in white-knuckled fists at his sides.

Things between them had ended okay before, he thought. She
hadn’t asked him for more from their relationship. At the same time, she hadn’t
jumped at the opportunity to be with him again. Gwen was a contradiction. He
didn’t know where he stood with her. That alone was enough to make him want to
push her and find out. That and his own burning need to possess her like the
latest and greatest Apple gadget.

Alex still hadn’t gotten to the bottom of what drew him to
Gwen. Whatever it happened to be was as strong as ever. Strong enough to urge
him to break down her walls, even though she claimed to be happy in her
isolation. But what was the point, really? If he pushed her the way he wanted
to, what could he give her in return? He’d tried to buy her jewelry all those
months ago. He thought he’d been successful at the time, only to find out she’d
relented because she’d found the perfect symbol of abstinence. That wasn’t
exactly what he’d had in mind.

Gwen had pushed away his physical advances. All Alex had in his
arsenal was sex and money. If she wasn’t interested in either, he was out of
luck unless he could find another way to get her attention.

If she was after some kind of domestic existence like the one
he’d very nearly dodged the day before, he couldn’t help her there. But he
wasn’t sure she even knew what she was after. The way she’d blown hot and cold
last night, he didn’t know if the promise of something different between them
would win her favor or send her running in the opposite direction. She’d said
that she wasn’t in the right place for something serious. Moments later, she
wasn’t receptive to something casual.

Certainly there had to be a middle ground where he could have
Gwen back in his bed without grand, sweeping, romantic promises he couldn’t
keep. Being up-front and honest about that seemed kinder than promising what he
couldn’t deliver. If laughter and passion and excitement weren’t enough for
Gwen, then this whole week would be a waste of his time.

“Why aren’t you out there stomping?” Will asked, coming up from
behind him with a glass of chardonnay in each hand. He held one out and Alex
gratefully accepted.

He swallowed a large gulp and let the dry bite of the wine
chase away his unwelcome thoughts. “I just had these shoes polished,” he said,
knowing it was a lame excuse.

“Does Adrienne know you and Gwen slept together?”

Will’s blunt question nearly sent a burning stream of wine up
through Alex’s nostrils. Instead, he fought to choke it down, swallowing and
taking a painful, deep breath before he spoke. “No, she doesn’t,” he sputtered,
and coughed into his fist. There was no sense in playing dumb. Will knew him too
well and had watched him move through a line of women over the years. “Gwen
doesn’t want her to know.”

Will nodded as he lifted his wineglass to drink. “She’d get
overly romantic ideas about the two of you.”

“Probably.” Alex knew Will’s bride was the best thing to ever
happen to his friend, but she was softhearted and idealistic to a fault. “How
did you know?”

Will glanced across the field, and Alex followed the direction
of his gaze to the two women. The stomping was nearly over, and they were making
their way off the field as best they could in a giggling fit. “The tension
between you two is palpable. I’ve seen you watching her when you think no one is
paying attention. When did it happen? It had to be right after the wedding.”

“Yes. While you and Adrienne were on your honeymoon in
Bali.”

“It’s been a long time since you’ve seen her, then.”

“Yeah. You know I’ve been in New Orleans for months. Hell, I
hadn’t even spoken to her since November.”

“That’s certainly interesting.”

Alex tried not to frown. He didn’t like the implication of his
friend’s tone. “What do you mean by that?”

“You’re still into her after all this time.”

He certainly was. But he knew what Will was inferring—that
perhaps he had real feelings for Gwen. He liked Gwen. He enjoyed her company.
But feelings? Alex didn’t have feelings about women. Not even for her.

“Why not?” he asked, dismissively. “I’d be stupid to pass up
the opportunity to be with her again. She’s a beautiful, uncomplicated woman who
happens to be an exceptional lover. There’s nothing else to it.”

Will chuckled and slapped Alex on the back. “You just keep
telling yourself that and maybe it will become the truth.”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “It
is
the
truth. And besides that, she’s turned me down, so there’s even less than nothing
to it.”

Will tried to smother a smile, but failed. “Gwen turned you
down? Is that an Alex Stanton first?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not over yet, so don’t count me
out. There’s four days left to this trip. Eventually I’ll convince her that I’m
worth abandoning her vows of celibacy while she’s here. Then she can go back to
living like a nun, I’ll be back on my game and Gwen will be in my past, just
like all the others.”

Adrienne waved at them and Will raised a hand to her. “Whatever
you say, man. But if you want to keep whatever it is you two are or aren’t
having a secret, you’d better be more careful. I’ve never seen you look at a
woman the way you look at Gwen. Adrienne will pick up on it in an instant.” He
started off across the lawn to join his wife.

“And how is that, exactly?” Alex called out to him.

Will stopped and turned, his face drawn and serious. “Almost
like you wish that baby was yours.”

Five

I
t was an exhausting day. Too much sun and
noise and walking around. Too much energy spent dodging Alex’s watchful gaze and
Adrienne’s continued arguments about her unfit living situation. By the time
their parade of cars pulled into the circular driveway, Gwen was ready to sleep
until her third trimester. Some of the group was talking about watching a movie,
but she wasn’t interested in anything but getting up close and personal with her
pillow. She ignored both Adrienne and Alex’s pointed looks as she excused
herself and went to bed.

She resisted the urge to sleep in her clothes and managed to
stay awake long enough to take off her jewelry and slip into her oversized
University of Tennessee T-shirt. After that, she fell into a restless sleep
pretty quickly.

Sometime after midnight, she woke up with a miserably aching
lower back. She propped a pillow between her knees and curled onto her side, but
after another twenty minutes, her back still hurt and she was now wide
awake.

Gwen flipped on the lamp and sat up in bed, defeated. At home,
she would take a hot shower to ease her muscles, but the sight of her swimsuit
on the dresser gave her a better idea. A swim in the pool would help take the
pressure of the pregnancy off her body and allow her to stretch her sore
muscles.

Gwen listened for noises outside her bedroom door, but it
seemed that everyone had already gone to bed. Good. This would be her first time
wearing her bikini since she’d gotten pregnant, and she wasn’t quite ready to
debut it to the world yet. She had a one-piece maternity suit that she would
wear during the day with the others.

But tonight, she was free to swim as she pleased, and it would
be easier to wrestle out of a wet two-piece. It was her favorite swimsuit, navy
blue with tiny, white polka dots. As she slipped it on, she was pleased to find
it still seemed to fit okay, although the bottoms rode lower on her hips to
accommodate her belly. Gwen unlatched her bracelet, leaving it on the dresser,
grabbed her towel and stepped quietly into the dark hallway. She took the direct
route through the kitchen, creeping out the back door without so much as a
creaking hinge.

Outside, the night was dark, but the lights of the pool were
still on, giving it a shimmering turquoise glow. Wavy silver lines reflecting
from the water danced along the back of the house and across the round, exposed
orb of her stomach.

She tossed her towel across one of the lounge chairs and
stepped to the stairs. Dipping her toe, she found the water to be cool, but not
too cold. It was heated by solar panels to take the chill off. She stepped down
slowly, submerging her body inch by inch until the water reached her waist.
Letting go of the railing, she surged forward, cutting through the water. She
resurfaced at the far end of the pool, taking a breath and pushing her wet hair
back from her face.

It felt so good. Not only the water, but the weightlessness.
The ache in her back immediately began to fade. She seriously needed to look
into a membership somewhere with an indoor pool for the last few months of this
pregnancy. Maybe a gym where she could work to get back in shape after Peanut
was born. But either way, it would be worth the money, even if she just soaked
in the water like a giant tea bag.

Gwen pushed off the wall and started back to the other side,
stretching and pulling herself through the water. After several laps, she leaned
back and let herself float at the surface. The water covered her ears and
muffled the sounds around her, leaving nothing but the silent, starry night
above her. She sighed, looking up at the twinkling scattershot of stars she
couldn’t see in the city. She hadn’t realized how much she missed them until
this moment.

As a teenager, she’d spent a hundred nights lying on the
trampoline in the backyard doing this same thing. Watching the stars. Making
wishes if one fell to Earth. Dreaming that one day she’d get out of Tennessee
and do something grand and important with her life. Even at fifteen she knew she
wanted to be a nurse. She wanted to help people and make a difference in
someone’s life.

Gwen supposed that was why she’d offered to help Robert and
Susan. She’d worked for years as a nurse and had wanted to do more. Short of
treating soldiers on the battlefield or children in third world countries, she
wasn’t sure what more she could do. But helping them have a baby was special.
That would make a difference in their lives.

She let her hands drift up over her head, then brought them
quickly to her sides, sending her gliding over the surface of the water. As Gwen
drifted to a stop, she saw a meteor streak across the sky and dissolve into the
atmosphere.

“We need to make a wish, Peanut,” she said. “What shall we wish
for?”

There were so many choices, Gwen had a hard time trying to
decide. Of course she wanted a healthy, happy baby girl for Robert and Susan,
but she didn’t want to use her wish for that tonight. Every decision she made in
her life was to make things better for others. Usually, knowing she’d helped
someone when they’d needed it most was enough for her. But tonight, as selfish
as it might seem, this wish, this star, was just for her.

But what did she want? She spent so much time worrying about
other people that she didn’t have a clue. Her career wasn’t enough anymore. Even
having a child for someone else wasn’t as satisfying as she’d hoped it would be.
It had been more confusing than anything. What did she want? Freedom? Family?
Passion? Excitement?

“What do I want?” she said aloud to the night. Maybe the stars
would point her in the right direction. As the question turned in her head,
thoughts immediately drifted to Alex’s bright, disarming smile. His messy hair.
She could almost hear his muffled laughter through the water.

Gwen wanted to wish for Alex. She might as well wish for the
moon. It would be a better use of a falling star to ask for immunity from his
charms instead. Then she could get through the week without giving in to him.
That seductive grin of his was nothing but trouble for a girl sworn to temporary
celibacy.

“But I want him, Peanut. And I shouldn’t. What should I
do?”

“Personally, I’m not big on self-sacrifice, so I say if you
want him, then have him.”

The muffled voice made it through the water to her ears.
Startled, Gwen shot upright, sinking under the surface and then bobbing back up
to the top.

Wiping the water from her eyes, she saw Alex standing at the
edge of the pool. He was wearing a pair of unbuttoned jeans and nothing else.
The sight of his bare chest with its hard angles and defined musculature sucked
the breath from her lungs. She remembered what it felt like to run her finger
over the ridges and how the sprinkle of dark blond chest hair tickled her nose
when she rested her head on him. Her eyes followed the trail of hair as it
darkened and disappeared into his low-slung jeans. There didn’t appear to be
anything under them, as though he’d just tugged them on to run downstairs.

A sudden heat flushed through her body. She wanted Alex, but
she certainly hadn’t wanted to announce it to him. Not when she was fighting the
feelings. It just gave him ammunition to use against her. How long had he been
standing there? Listening to her? Watching her white belly float along the
surface? Anger quickly dampened her desire. Gwen furiously splashed a handful of
water at him, sending him flying back a few steps to avoid it.

“What’s that for?” he asked.

“For sneaking up on me,” she snapped, her legs furiously
kicking to keep her petite body at the surface in the deep end of the pool.
“What are you doing out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep. I came down to get some water and see if
there was any of Helena’s pound cake left. I saw you through the kitchen window.
What are you doing swimming alone in the middle of the night? Isn’t that one of
the basic no-no’s for pool safety?”

Gwen ignored his question, swimming toward the shallow end so
she could touch the bottom of the pool. Alex followed her, walking along the
concrete edge in bare feet.

“My back was killing me,” she said. “It woke me up, actually. I
thought the pool might help. I certainly wasn’t going to wake any of y’all up to
babysit me while I swim.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed at her with concern. He seemed to be doing
that a lot the last few days. She wished he’d just go back to glaring at her
with poorly masked desire. That, she knew how to deal with. Sorta.

“Would you like me to rub your back for you? I give great
massages.”

Gwen’s gaze darted to meet his. The concern was gone, the
playful, seductive Alex returning. Yes, he gave good massages. She’d been
treated to one in his apartment, complete with musky-scented massage oil and a
happy ending for them both. His hands had been like slick magic on her skin. But
that was then. Letting him try it after going months without a man’s touch, even
for something as innocent as a back rub, would ruin her plans. She’d fall off
the wagon so fast, she’d be rolling in the dirt behind it.

Instead, she just shook her head. “That’s a nice offer, but no
thanks.”

Alex crouched down at the edge of the pool. “You’ve been
avoiding me since I kissed you.”

Gwen opened her mouth to deny it, but there really wasn’t much
point. It was true. “Yes.”

“Why?” His golden eyes were shrouded in the darkness, but she
could still see the slightly pained expression on his face. Why her refusal
would hurt him was a mystery when he could have any woman he wanted.

“Because I told you I am off men right now. You just don’t
listen. I’m trying to take some time for me, to organize my priorities, and I’m
sorry, but you nibbling on my ear doesn’t help. I don’t need the distraction.
It’s just not a good idea.”

“I don’t agree. Seeing those curves of yours in that tiny
bikini makes me think it’s a marvelous idea. We could have a couple great days
together, then you can go back to prioritizing all by your lonesome. What could
it hurt?”

Gwen planted her feet on the floor of the pool and pushed
herself to stand. “Me,” she said, the water swirling around her stomach with the
sudden motion. “It can hurt
me,
Alex. I really don’t
know what I’m doing anymore. This surrogacy was supposed to help me figure out
what I want, but with only a few months left, I still don’t know. But I’m trying
to make some positive changes in my life. And, yes, I might want you. But, and
I’m sorry if this offends you, I can’t help thinking that getting involved with
you again is a step back for me, not a step forward.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman tell me that before.
Usually, I’m an upgrade.” The playful glint faded from his eyes. “Gwen, you know
that I—”

“—don’t do relationships,” she interrupted. “I know. And I was
okay with that the first time. I certainly wasn’t looking for anything serious.”
Gwen brought her hand to her stomach and stroked it beneath the water. “And I’m
not looking for something serious now. I’m not looking for anything at all. But
when I’m ready, I think I want something better for myself. And I don’t think
you’re the man to give it to me.”

“Gwen, I’m sorry I—” He reached out, but the wide moat of water
kept her out of his grasp.

“Don’t apologize, Alex. You are always up front about what
you’re selling. This time, I’m just not in the market to buy it.”

* * *

Alex watched from the side of the pool as Gwen looked
away, uncomfortably, to study one of the deck chairs. She’d spoken forcefully,
putting up a brave front, probably hoping he’d just nod and go away so she
didn’t have to keep it up any longer. He could see she was struggling. Walking
in on her private conversation had just proven to him that he was right. Gwen
did want him. She was just being stubborn about it. He didn’t get it. But there
was only one way to get her to confess the truth. Alex would goad her into
saying it.

“You’re a chicken,” he said.

Gwen’s head snapped back toward him, her eyes wide with
confusion and irritation. “What makes you think you know so much about me, Alex?
I was nothing but Miss October to you.”

“Maybe, but October is my favorite month, and I have an eye for
details. My business wouldn’t be doing as well as it is if I didn’t understand
people and what makes them tick. I know exactly what will capture their
imagination and make them trip over themselves to buy one of my properties. And
in my years with women, I’ve figured out quite a few additional things about
them. And you.”

“Like what?” she challenged.

Alex crouched down at the edge of the water to get closer to
her. “Like how you never take any time for yourself. From the first moment I saw
you, you’ve been killing yourself to make other people happy. For Adrienne’s
wedding. For the hospital and your patients. For your friends. Even for me
during our brief time together. Now you’ve taken it to a whole new level, and
you’re having a baby for someone else.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” he argued, “unless you’re suffering because of it.
There’s a fine line between a saint and a martyr. You don’t have to be miserable
to do what’s important to you. It’s about balance. When was the last time you
did something just for you?”

Gwen frowned at him. He could see her struggling to come up
with an answer, her cheeks flushing red with anger because it was taking longer
than she wanted it to. “The last time I did something selfish was giving in to
my fling with you.”

He’d been expecting her to admit to something like splurging on
a new dress or a pedicure. He never dreamed her answer would be something that
had happened eight months ago. She was more caught up in this than he thought.
“Why is doing something just for you selfish? The opposite of a giving person
isn’t a selfish one.”