More Than Miles (A Lost Kings MC Novel) (40 page)

“You don’t have to go back today.” He sets my bags down and levels a stern look at me. “Take a few more days, stay here, and think things through.”

It’s a tempting offer. The thought of going home and having a serious talk with Axel turns my stomach upside down. Worse, I hate leaving my brother while he’s still in the hospital. I’m only able to do it because I know Rock, Murphy, and the rest of the club will take care of him.

Hope gently touches my shoulder. “Honey, do you want me to change your flight?”

“No, Hope. You’re right. I need to go home and talk to Axel.”

Rock nods. He reaches out, rubbing the back of his hand over my cheek. “I’m proud of you, Heidi.”

Alexa wiggles in my arms and I tip my head at her. “Really?”

He doesn’t crack a smile. “Yes. You took a hard road, but you’re handling it well.”

His words mean the world to me. They give me the extra nudge I need to face my problems.

“Hi, big brother!” Heidi shouts as she comes in the room.

Teller picks his head up and actually smiles for the first time today. The smile disappears when he remembers why she’s here. To say goodbye.

I don’t feel like smiling much, either.

Even though I’ve kept a respectful distance from Heidi, I loved having her near again. Knowing I could take a quick stroll through the woods and find her at Rock’s house. Giving her rides to the hospital. Playing with Alexa. Getting to know Heidi as an adult. When she’s not stressed out or mad at me, she’s pretty funny. She’s an amazing mother, too. Not that I ever thought otherwise, but I love spending time with the two of them.

And now she’s leaving. Again.

To go home to her husband.

The prick who never bothered to fly down here. I doubt Teller gives a fuck one way or another, and I sure as shit didn’t need to see the little fuck. But the fact that he didn’t care enough to come support his wife when she’s going through hell visiting her brother in the hospital every day? Going to a funeral for a friend who never should have died? Worrying night and day if her brother will ever walk again? The fact that he couldn’t be bothered tells me all I need to know about him. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t make Heidi feel worse about the situation, but if Axel were in front of me right now, there’s a good chance, I’d beat the arrogance right out of him.

I’ve been so lost in my violent daydreaming, I missed most of their conversation.

“When are you coming back?” I ask.

Everyone turns and stares at me. What? Why shouldn’t I ask?

Heidi ducks her head. “I’m not sure. I’ll see what Axel’s schedule looks like.”

No one’s been able to give me a reason that makes an ounce of sense for why she needs to fly all the way home, when her husband will only be there for a week before he takes off again. She’s not working. Not going to school. She should just stay here.

I keep all of that to myself.

Teller grabs her hand and pulls her attention away from me. “I’m getting sent to a rehab facility this week. So hopefully, when you come back, I’ll be walking.”

“Oh, thank God! Why didn’t you say that first, you goof?” She playfully smacks his shoulder and bursts out laughing.

“Give me my niece. I want to hold her for a few minutes before you take her away again.”

Heidi’s mouth turns down, but she hands Alexa over. That baby girl is the only thing that kept Teller from losing his mind when he found out about Mariella. She’s the only person he’s happy to see every day.

And now Heidi’s taking her home. Teller’s putting on his big brother face today, but I wonder how this will affect him tomorrow and the next day.

“I can’t get over how big she’s gotten, Heidi,” he says as he lifts her up and down. Alexa kicks and giggles the whole time, loving it.

“Are you bench-pressing my daughter?” Heidi teases.

“My legs are fucked, but my arms are fine. Besides, she can’t weigh more than what, fifteen pounds?”

Heidi’s smile fades. “Around that, yeah. I don’t know. She has her check-up this week. I’ll let you know.”

“You better call me right after. Murphy finally dropped off my new phone this morning. You better send lots of pictures.”

“Okay.” Heidi looks like she’s about to cry, and Teller pulls her down for a one-armed hug.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I—everything. I’m going to miss you and worry about you, that’s all.”

He studies her face for a few seconds, then nods and releases her. Alexa gets a few more kisses and silly faces before he reluctantly hands her back.

Rock stops in the doorway. “Ready, Heidi-girl?”

“Yeah.”

I glance at Teller. “I’m going to walk down with them. You cool?”

He nods. I still stop in the waiting room and ask Trinity to go sit with him while I’m downstairs.

“Rock, hold up,” I call out, jogging down the hall to catch up with them.

They stop and wait by the elevator.

“I can carry her if you want,” I offer. Heidi gives me a brief smile and lets me take Alexa. As if she knows how much trouble I’m having letting both of them go.

Hope and Rock make superficial small talk with Heidi. About her flight and what her plans are for the week. Crap that makes me want to yell, “Why are we all pretending like this is okay?”

The pressure in my chest only gets worse as I walk them out to the parking garage. “Hey, I have something for you. Let me go grab it?” I ask Heidi.

Rock takes Alexa from me, and I jog over to my truck. I dig out the bag and when I turn, Heidi’s standing behind me.

“Oh, you didn’t have to follow me over.”

“No. It’s okay. You’ll…I know you’ll take care of him, right?”

I almost want to tell her I’m scared shitless he’s going to have nothing to look forward to now. But, the last thing I want to do is heap a bunch of guilt on Heidi’s shoulders. Especially since I don’t think it will make her stay. “Of course I will. If you need anything, you know you can always call me, right?”

“I do. Thank you.” She nods at the bag. “What’s that?”

“Uh, here. Spur of the moment purchase.” Okay, that’s a total lie. I’d never been to a baby shop in my entire life before yesterday. “For Alexa. For the plane. You know to keep her busy.”

Her eyes widen as she takes the bag and pulls out the plushy lion. “It has a mirror and all these different textures on his paws.” I shrug, feeling a bit silly. “You know, stuff to keep her entertained,” I explain. Reaching over, I pull the other item out of the bag.

Heidi’s smile makes all this awkwardness worth it. “Keys?”

“Motorcycle and keys,” I correct, pointing at the loop full of colorful plastic keys.

“She’ll love them.” Her arms wrap around me and I hesitate before hugging her back. “Thank you, that was really sweet.”

Somehow saying good-bye feels worse than when I had to sit through her wedding, and I can’t pinpoint why.

A
fter saying goodbye, I trudge back upstairs.

“You all right, bro?” Teller asks when I sit down next to his bed.

I don’t know what to say. We haven’t spoken about Heidi’s situation much, but Teller and I don’t lie to each other. “I hate that she had to go back.”

He doesn’t give me shit. “Me too.”

We don’t talk about much else until Hope comes in about an hour later. She looks as twisted up as I feel.

“What’s wrong, Hope?” Teller asks.

“Nothing.” She flashes a fake-as-fuck smile. Hope would be a terrible poker player. She can’t bluff worth a fuck.

“Rock dropped me off and ran up to the clubhouse.”

“Is he coming back, or do you need a ride?” I ask and she shrugs.

I stand and offer her the chair next to Teller’s bed. After taking it, she leans over and taps his hand. “How are you feeling?”

He rolls his eyes and pulls a half smile. “Come on, Hope. You ask me that like ten times a day. Tell me about my sister. She make it to the airport okay?”

“Yes. We waited until her plane took off. She promised to text me when she lands.”

I cock my head and stare her down until she fidgets. “Come on, something’s bothering you.”

She blows out an exasperated breath, and I fight the urge to shake the information out of her. Her gaze darts between me and Teller.

“Listen, she specifically asked me
not
to tell you two. You can’t say anything to her.”

Teller sits up, clearly agitated. “What’s going on, Hope?”

I drop into the chair on his other side and wait.

“She…” Hope hesitates, and I know it’s probably killing her to break a promise to Heidi. Hope’s usually locked up tight like a vault. “This morning she admitted how unhappy she is in Alaska.”

“Aw, fuck,” Teller mutters. “I knew it. Knew she wasn’t right.”

“Axel’s away working and she’s alone with the baby all the time…” Hope’s voice trails off. Teller and I share a look. My chest aches for Heidi. I know how much she hates being alone and cut off from family. She already spent so much time alone as a kid. Everyone abandoned her. Now, her husband’s doing the same damn thing. It pisses me off so much, I’d pound the shit out of Axel if I got ahold of him.

“That motherfucker. He
promised
me. Promised he’d take care of her,” Teller grinds out.

“He’s trying to take care of them the best way he knows how. Working and earning money,” Hope says. Although, by the look on her face, I don’t think defending Axel agrees with her.

“Fuck that. He didn’t need to drag her up to Alaska,” Teller snaps. “What about Penny? She any help?”

“Not really. Heidi made it sound like when the guys are away, Penny likes to go out and party. Heidi can’t do that with a baby at home.”

Teller curses. “She’s got people to help her here. Why didn’t you make her stay?”

Hope glares at him. “I can’t
force
her to do anything. She’s married now. I told her she needs to work on her marriage, maybe find a counselor.”

Teller’s making a
fuck-that
face similar to mine. The only “counseling” Axel needs is an ass kicking.

“I suggested she talk to Axel about changing his schedule.” Her mouth snaps shut after that.

“What else,” Teller demands.

“I can’t…she asked for my
legal
advice, so I can’t violate her trust more than I already have.”

Teller curses and I think about the implications of what Hope’s saying. They must have discussed Heidi’s options for divorce. It’s the only thing that makes any sense.

Holy shit.

Maybe deep down, there’s a part of me hoping Heidi chooses option B. Mostly though, I’m overwhelmed with how much I hate knowing Heidi’s alone and unhappy.

“I gave her my advice and told her I’m here if she needs me. What else could I do?”

Teller keeps glaring at her, so I’m the one who answers. “Nothing, Hope. You’re right.” I flick Teller’s side. “She’s a wife and mother now, bro. You can’t boss her around. She has to figure it out on her own.”

“Fuck that.” He slams his fist into his leg, making Hope jump. “I feel so fucking useless. I can’t do anything for her. I
hate
this.”

“That’s why she didn’t want me to say anything. She wants you to worry about getting better.”