Mysteries (17 page)

Pause.

“This is where we first met,” he said. “Do you remember? I’ll never forget how elflike you looked as you fled. Like a wood nymph, a vision—. But now I’m going to tell you about an adventure I once had.”
⁷

Actually, it was a dull adventure, it shouldn’t take very long to tell. He was sitting in his room in a little town—it was not in Norway, never mind where it was; in short, he was sitting in his room one mild fall evening. It was eight years ago, in 1883. He was sitting with his back to the door reading a book.

“Were you using a lamp?”

“Yes; it was pitch-dark outside. I was reading. Then someone is walking outside, I can distinctly hear footsteps on the stairs; I can also hear someone knocking on my door. ‘Come in!’ No one comes. I open the door—nobody outside. There isn’t a sign of anybody outside. I ring for the maid. Had anyone climbed the stairs? No, nobody had climbed the stairs. ‘Very well, good night!’ The maid leaves.

“I resume my reading. Then I feel a puff of air, a brush as of someone’s breath, and I hear a whisper, ‘Come!’ I look around—no one there. I go on reading, but get annoyed and say, ‘What the hell!’ The same moment I notice, next to me, a pale little man with a red beard and dry, stiff, bristly hair; the man is standing to my left. He winks at me and I wink back; we had never seen each other before, but we winked at one another. I close the book with my right hand, and the man moves toward the door and disappears; I follow him with my eyes and see him disappearing. I rise and walk up to the door, and again I hear the whisper, ‘Come!’ All right, I get into my coat, snap my galoshes on and step out. Then I thought, You should light a cigar, and I turn back to my room and light a cigar. I also pocket some cigars. God knows why, but I did, and went out again.

“It was pitch-black and I couldn’t see a thing, but I felt that the little man was beside me. Groping to get hold of him, I made myself obstinate and decided not to budge unless he gave me clearer instructions. But he was nowhere to be found. I even tried to wink at him here and there in the dark, but to no avail. ‘Never mind!’ I said, ‘I’m not going for your sake, I go for my own sake, I’m taking a walk; please note that I’m simply going for a stroll.’ I spoke in a loud voice so he would hear me. I walked for several hours and was already in the countryside, inside a forest; I felt branches and leaves wet with dew slapping my face. ‘Well!’ I said at last, pulling out my watch as if to look at it, ‘well, I’m going back home!’ But I didn’t go back home, I just couldn’t turn around, something was still driving me on. Anyway, I said to myself, the weather is so wonderful, you can keep this up for a night or two, you have plenty of time! I said this, though I was tired and thoroughly wet with dew. I lighted a fresh cigar; the little man was still with me, I could feel him blowing on me. And I walked on and on, in every possible direction, but never back toward town. My feet were beginning to ache, I was wet with dew up to my knees, and my face was smarting from being grazed by the wet branches. It may seem somewhat strange of me to be walking around here at this hour, I said to myself, but it’s a habit of mine, a custom from my childhood, to hunt up the biggest forests there are and walk in them at night. And I forged ahead with clenched teeth. Then the tower clock in town strikes twelve—one, two, three, four, up to twelve; I count the strokes. That familiar sound braced me up considerably, though I was annoyed that we hadn’t yet gotten farther away from town after all our tramping around. Well, the tower clock struck the hour, and just as the twelfth stroke fell, the little man again stands vividly before me, looking at me and laughing. I won’t forget it as long as I live, he was so vividly present; he had two front teeth missing and was holding his arms behind his back....”

“But how could you see him in the dark?”

“He was luminous. He shone with a strange light that seemed to be behind him, radiating from his back and making him transparent; even his clothes became as clear as day, his trousers were worn and much too short. I saw all this in a second. The sight struck me with amazement, and I instinctively closed my eyes and backed away half a step. When I looked up again, the man was gone—”

“Ah—!”

“There’s more. I had come to a tower. There was a tower in front of me, I had bumped into it; I saw it more and more clearly: a black octagonal tower, like the Tower of the Winds in Athens, if you’ve seen a picture of that. I’d never heard of any tower in that forest, but the fact remains: I stand before this tower, I hear another ‘Come!’ and I go in. The gate was left open behind me, which I felt as a relief.

“Inside, in the archway, I again meet the little man. A lamp was burning on one of the walls and I could see him clearly; he came toward me as if he’d been in there all along, laughing silently as he stood there staring at me. Looking into his eyes, I felt they were full of all the terrible things which those eyes had seen in his lifetime. Again he winked at me, but I didn’t wink back, and I retreated from him as he approached me. Suddenly I hear light footsteps behind me and, turning my head, I see a young woman come in.

“Well, I look at her and feel delighted. She had red hair and black eyes, but she was not well dressed and walked barefoot on the stone floor. Her arms were naked, and without any spots.

“She scrutinizes us both for a moment, then makes a deep bow to me and walks up to the little man. Without a word, she begins unbuttoning his clothes and feeling him all over, as if she were looking for something, and presently she pulls a burning light, a small flashing lantern, out of the lining of his cloak and hangs it on her finger. The lantern shines so brightly that it completely eclipses the lamp on the wall. The man stood perfectly still, laughing silently as before while being searched. ‘Good night!’ the woman said, pointing to a door, and the man, that terrible, mysterious half-animal creature, went away. I was left alone with the newcomer.

“She came toward me, made another deep bow to me and, without smiling or raising her voice, she said, ‘Where do you come from?’

“‘From town, fair maiden,’ I replied. ‘I’ve come all the way from town.’

“‘Stranger, forgive my father!’ she said all of a sudden. ‘Don’t do us any harm because of him; he’s sick, he’s mad, you saw his eyes, didn’t you?’

“‘Yes, I saw his eyes,’ I answered, ‘and I felt their power over me, I followed them.’

“‘Where did you meet him?’ she asked.

“‘At home, in my room,’ I replied. ‘I was reading when he came.’

“She shook her head and lowered her eyes.

“‘But don’t feel sad because of that, fair damsel,’ I said; ‘I was glad to take that walk, I didn’t neglect anything by doing so, and I don’t regret having met you. Just look, I’m happy and contented, why don’t you smile, too?’

“But she did not smile. She said, ‘Take off your shoes. You mustn’t leave tonight, I’ll dry your clothes for you.’

“I looked down at my clothes—they were soaking wet, and water was oozing out of my shoes. I did as I was told, pulled off my shoes and handed them to her. But when I had done so she blew out the lamp and said, ‘Come!’

“‘Wait a moment,’ I said, stopping her. ‘If I’m not going to sleep here, why did you make me take off my shoes right away?’

“‘That I won’t tell you,’ she replied.

“And she didn’t tell me.

“She led me through a door, into a dark room; there was a sound as if someone were sniffing about for us. I felt a soft hand on my lips, and the girl’s voice came, aloud, ‘It’s me, Father. The stranger is gone—gone.’

“But again I could hear how the deformed madman was nosing about for us.

“We walked up a flight of stairs, she holding my hand and neither of us speaking. We stepped into another vault, where you couldn’t see a ray of light; it was black night everywhere.

“‘Quiet!’ she whispered, ‘here’s my bed.’

“And I groped for the bed and found it.

“‘Now, take off the rest of your clothes,’ she whispered.

“I took them off and handed them to her.

“‘Good night!’ she said.

“I tried to hold her back, begging her to stay: ‘Wait a moment, don’t go. Now I know why you made me take off my shoes downstairs. I’ll be very quiet, your father didn’t hear me—come!’

“But she didn’t come.

“‘Good night!’ she said again and left....”

Pause. Dagny had turned flaming red, her breast rose and fell, her nostrils quivered. “She left?” she asked quickly.

Pause.
⁸

“Now my nightly adventure changes and becomes like a fairy tale, a rose-colored remembrance. Imagine a white, white night.... I was alone; the darkness around me was thick and heavy, like velvet. I was tired, my knees were shaking, and I felt rather dazed. What a scoundrel that madman was, to have led me around in circles in the wet grass for hours, led me like a dumb beast just by that look in his eyes and his ‘Come, come!’ The next time I would tear the lantern out of his hand and smash his chops with it! I was quite furious, lighted a cigar in my anger and went to bed. I lay there watching the light of my cigar for a while; then I hear the gate slam below, and all is quiet.

“Ten minutes went by. Keep in mind: I’m lying wide awake in bed smoking a cigar. All at once the vault is filled with a soughing noise, as though vents were opened all over the ceiling. Getting up on my elbow to put out my cigar, I stare about me in the darkness without discovering anything. I lie down again and listen; I seem to hear some sounds far away, a marvelous thousand-voiced music from somewhere outside me, from way up under the sky perhaps, thousand-voiced and soft. The music goes on and on, coming closer and closer until at last it surges above me, over the roof of the tower. Again I get up on my elbow. Then I experience something that even today intoxicates me with a mysterious, supernatural pleasure whenever I think of it: a stream of tiny little dazzling creatures suddenly descends upon me; they are perfectly white, angels, myriads of little angels streaming down from on high like an oblique wall of light. They fill the vault, there may be as many as a million; they float about the room in a wave-like motion, from floor to ceiling, and they sing, they sing, and they are perfectly naked and white. My heart stands still, there are angels everywhere, I listen and hear their song; they brush my eyelids and settle in my hair, and the entire vault is filled with the fragrance from their small open mouths.

“As I lie there leaning on my elbow, I hold out my hand to them, and some sit down on it; they look like a trembling seven-pointed star on my hand. But when I bend forward and look into their eyes, I see that their eyes are blind. I release the seven blind ones and catch seven others, and they too are blind. Alas, they were all blind—the whole tower was full of blind angels singing.

“Realizing this almost took my breath away, I couldn’t move; a sad lament glided through my soul for the sake of those blind eyes.

“A minute went by. Lying there listening, I hear a heavy, hollow stroke somewhere far away; the sound is so clear, it’s uncanny, followed by a long rumble: it was the town clock striking the hour again. It struck one o’clock.

“All at once the song of the angels ceased. I saw them get into formation and fly away, swarming up to the ceiling, pushing to be off. They were like an oblique wall of sheer light, and they all looked at me as they left. The last one turned to give me yet another look with his blind eyes before he disappeared.

“That is the last thing I remember, the one angel who turned to look at me, although he was blind. Then everything went dark. I fell back on the bed and slept....

“When I awoke it was broad daylight. I was still alone in the vault. My clothes were lying on the floor in front of me. I brushed them with my hand, they were still a little wet; but I put them on anyway. Then the door opens and the girl from the night before reappears.

“She comes straight up to me, and I say, ‘Where do you come from? Where were you last night?’

“‘Up there,’ she replies, pointing to the roof of the tower.

“‘Didn’t you sleep?’

“‘No, I didn’t sleep. I kept watch.’

“‘But didn’t you hear music last night?’ I asked. ‘I heard a music too wonderful for words.’

“‘Oh yes, that was me playing and singing,’ she replied.

“‘Was it you? Tell me, child, was it you?’

“‘It was.’

“She gave me her hand and said, ‘Come now, I’ll walk you part of the way.’

“And so we walked out of the tower and into the forest, hand in hand. The sun shone on her golden hair, and her black eyes were ravishing. I took her in my arms and kissed her twice on the forehead, and then I fell on my knees before her. With trembling hands she undid a black ribbon she was wearing and tied it around my wrist; but she cried as she did so, overcome by emotion. ‘Why are you crying?’ I asked. ‘Forgive me if I’ve done something to hurt you!’

“But she merely replied, ‘Can you see the town?’

“‘No,’ I replied, ‘I can’t. Can you?’

“‘Stand up and let’s go on,’ she said. She again led me onward. Stopping once more, I pressed her to my breast and said, ‘How dearly you make me love you, how you fill me with happiness!’

“I could feel her trembling in my arms, but still she said, ‘I must turn back now. You can see the town, can’t you?’

“‘Yes,’ I answered. ‘You can, too, I suppose?’

“‘No,’ she replied.

“‘Why not?’ I asked.

“Withdrawing from me, she gazed at me with her large eyes, and before she left she made a deep bow to me for goodbye. When she had walked a few steps away, she turned to look at me once more.

“Then I saw that her eyes, too, were blind....

“At this point there comes a period of twelve hours which I can’t give any account of, they are beyond recall. I have no idea what happened to them. I’ve pounded my head and said, ‘It’s a matter of twelve hours, they have to be in here somewhere, they’re simply hiding and I must find them.’ But I haven’t found them....