Never Ending (10 page)

Chapter
17

         
I
was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to think.
A few hours ago, I'd been in Luc's arms – not content, perhaps, but safe, warm,
overcome by his love for me. I'd believed that Danny was a cheater, a liar, a
dirt bag that had never loved me. And now everything was turned on its head
once again. I'd slept with Danny; I'd been involved with Luc. I was torn
between two men, my body and my soul alike rent in two by the twin passions
that split every fiber of my being. How could I go back to Danny, now, knowing
what had happened with Luc? Could I go back to Danny at all?

          “What is it,
Neve?”

          I said nothing –
couldn't find the words. But Danny could tell that something was wrong.

          “You can't
believe Roni's lies, can you?” Danny seized hold of my hands. “That tape – I
didn't even know it existed. I was vulnerable, Neve, after Peyton died. I just
wanted meaningless sex, meaningless bodies. I was wallowing in guilt and grief.
But with me and Roni, it was never serious.” He gripped my shoulders so tightly
I almost moaned aloud. “I love you, Neve. I missed you so much, you have to
believe that. When I was sitting in that hospital bed, sitting at my father's
side, watching him hover between life and death, you were my hope. I wanted to
call you, really I did. But there was no service in the hospital, and I didn't
want to leave his side. You know what they said, Neve? That my father responded
to my voice. That I was the one who snapped him out of his coma. By talking to
him. Telling him things. Telling him I forgave him. I don't know if he heard
the words, or he just heard the sound of my voice. But it worked. I talked to
him, held his hand. I never left his side. And you know what?”

          Danny took a deep
breath. “One day he just started...moving. It was his hand, at first, and then
his face, and then at last he opened his eyes and saw me. It was a miracle,
Neve! The doctors said that my presence, my voice, gave him the strength to
survive. It was the first time I'd ever let my father see me cry since I was a
child. But there were tears in my eyes when I woke up. And I saw, too, that
there were tears in his. I hadn't killed my father, Neve. I'd saved him. Nobody
else had visited him. Not Roni. Not his other ex-wives. Just me. And he looked
into my eyes and he told me he loved me for the very first time. I don't
remember ever hearing those words from his lips before. He pulled me in for a
hug and he told me that he loved me, and that he was sorry for all the pain
he'd ever caused me. We reconciled that day – but he's weak still. He needs to
cut back his working hours. So I promised him...I promised I'd take over. That
I'd try my best to assume his position at Blues Enterprises. It's his legacy,
Neve, and I can't fail him any longer.”

          I was in shock. I
hardly knew what to say. My own pain, my own romantic woes, seemed to pale in
comparison with the enormity of Danny's struggle. All I could think about in
the moment was how I wanted Danny to be happy, how deeply I cared about him and
his father. “Danny,” I whispered softly, “you were never a failure. You are so
much more than that.”

          Danny stroked my
face lightly. “You make me feel complete, Neve. Always have, always will.
You're like my knight in shining armor. Without you, I wouldn't have the
courage – wouldn't have the strength – to fight through the situation with my
father, with Roni. But you give me the strength. With you, I feel I can do
anything.”

          Guilt rose to my
face, infusing it with a crimson flush. I thought of Luc, of what I had done. I
could not bear it. “Oh, Danny,' I cried. “I'm so sorry. If it only was that
simple. But when I saw that tape of you and Roni together, I thought you had
betrayed me...”

          “I know,” said
Danny gravely. “And, Neve, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine what went through
your head when you saw that awful tape. I had no idea we were being filmed at
the time – I felt so violated when I saw it... But she still believes, if she
can only get you out of the way, that she and I would be together. When I only
want you.”

          He moved closer,
pressing his lips against mine. I couldn't help responding to him like in the
old days, my body powerful in its reply to him. But I forced myself to pull
back. How could I kiss him like this, disguising the lie of my own infidelity?
How could I tell him about Luc?

          But before I
could speak, Danny interrupted my train of thoughts. “There's something else,
Neve. Some amazing news.”

          I exhaled in
relief, glad to have my confession forestalled a moment longer. “What is it,
Danny?”

          “My father
realized what Roni had done. And he started divorce proceedings the same day.
He took her off RRR and slammed her with papers hours after he woke up. She'll
no longer have the tools or the power to mess with the Never Knights. Nor with
you and me.”

          I was overcome
with relief. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders at
last. “Thank God,” I whispered. I felt tears coming to my eyes. “The
stalker...gone at last...”

          But Danny's eyes
were shining with joy. “That's not all, either, Neve. There's something else.
When I was sitting at my dad's side, one night, this young man in his early
20's showed up at the door. He looked familiar – really familiar – but as far
as I knew I hadn't seen him before. But his eyes were distinctive. So
distinctive. They looked...like mine. And I think I knew, even before anyone
said anything. He thought nobody would be in the hospital – he was surprised to
see me. Seemed apprehensive, nervous, even. I asked him who he was, what he was
doing there. He said his name was Terrence Steele. He was from West Hollywood,
the son of a single mom, a wannabe actress, a real estate agent now. Who, when
she was eighteen, had a brief fling with a charismatic young businessman while
attending a drama school course in England.”

          It was all
starting to make sense...

          “You mean...”

          “Clarence Blue?”

          “My father never
knew. I never knew. But when Terrence's mother read about my father in the
papers, he decided to make amends.”

          “You have a
brother
?”

          “Half-brother,
technically.” Danny's smile was bittersweet. “I suppose I'm not the only Blue
blood out there.”

          “Danny – this is
huge
...”

          “You'll never
guess what he does for a living.” His smile became more playful.

          “What?”

          “He's one of the
most famous porn stars in LA.”

          My mouth fell
open.

          Now Danny
laughed. “Well, with the Blue family genes, how could he be anything else? He's
very handsome, you know.”

          Now it was my
turn to laugh. “As handsome as you?”

          “Of course,”
Danny joked. “He's flawless. I'm quite the proud older brother. And he seems a
decent chap, too. I got to spend some time with him while I was in London,
while we were helping my dad recover. That's part of the reason I didn't ring
you. It was just too much news to tell you over the phone. Neve, I want you to
meet him so badly...”

          “Okay...” My
voice felt hollow, still full of shock. “But when?”

          Danny looked at
his watch. “Well, we have reservations at the Blue Room in about an hour. I
hope that's okay.”

          My heart began to
beat faster. How could I get through the whole evening, the whole night,
without telling Danny about Luc, about what had happened? My guilt was palpable
– writ clear on my face, I thought. A scarlet blush.

          “Come on, Neve,”
he kissed me on the mouth. A passionate, overwhelming, kiss. “We've got a lot
to do. We've got to get ready. But first, let's go back to the cottage. I'm
dying to change my clothes.”

Chapter
18

         
I
followed Danny back to the cottage, still in
shock, still hardly able to speak. Everything that I wanted to say, everything
that I wanted to share or explain, bubbled up in me, too overwhelming. There
was so much I needed to tell Danny – but how could I bear it? Would he forgive
me for my affair with Luc when I thought Danny and I were no longer, or would
this be the end of us? My heart was pounding so quickly I could not stand it.
Had I finally gotten Danny back, only to lose him again?  

          As I walked
through the cottage door, I found myself overcome once more by the memories, by
the lingering nostalgia for the life we had shared here. As I looked around at
the furniture, the bedclothes, the curtains, it was as if he had never left. As
if we'd never been apart. Then I could no longer think. Before I could say a
word he was on top of me, kissing me, tearing my clothes from my body, sending
me to the shuddering brink of orgasm so that I cried aloud, my moans of passion
echoing off the cottage rafters. How I had missed his touch! My body missed his
so badly. Nobody but Danny had ever made me feel this way, ever made my body
feel this alive. This connection – electric and palpable – was undeniable.

          When it was over
I was shaking with relief, tears stinging at my eyes. A few short hours ago I'd
been convinced that we'd never have this happiness again. And now, feeling it,
feeling the joy anew, I was terrified to lose it once more. But I could not
live a lie.

          “Neve...” Danny
kissed my shoulder. “I need to do something, now. I've wanted to do it for
months, but being away from you made the decision clearer than ever in my
mind.”

          He stood up, then
dropped to one knee, his hand still holding mine.

          “I want you to
trust me, Neve. I know you have your doubts about me, and I know I've given you
reason to have these doubts. But I love you, Neve, and I want you. Know that my
heart is true when I tell you that you are the one for me. My heart belongs to
you, Neve, utterly and completely. And while I want to make you mine forever
today, I know you'll want time to think this through. Before you say yes. And I
hope you say yes.”

          He pressed the
most beautiful ring I'd ever seen into my palms. A blue diamond ring,
glimmering, set in white gold. “This was my mother's ring, Neve. And you're the
only girl that's seen it since she died. I want to be with you forever. We
don't have to get married right away – we can wait until you've finished
school...but I know I want to be with you forever. Call it a wedding ring, call
it a promise ring. Just know you have my heart.”

          Now the tears
were flowing freely – a mixture of happiness and fear, of utter joy and utter
terror. How could I risk losing Danny again, how could I hurt him, when he'd
offered me so much? But how could I bear lying to him, either?

          “Are you okay,
Neve? You're crying...”

          “I...” My voice
was shaking. “I wasn't expecting this, Danny. I need to digest this. I love
you, Danny...but...so soon...”

          Danny flinched –
but the pain on his face was momentary.  “Then give me an answer when you can,”
he said, kissing me lightly on the nose. “For now, as much as I've enjoyed
making love to you, I don't want us to be late. I don't want to keep Terrence
waiting.”

          He took my arm,
and we walked together to the car, driving swiftly through the streets of LA.

          “We're going to
the Blue Room,” Danny told me. “Technically, it's 21 and over, but I'll make an
exception for you. Just don't tell anybody, okay? And don't order any alcohol.”
He laughed. “The Blue Room is one of the most exotic – not to say
erotic
-nightclubs in LA.” He leaned over and kissed me. “There are regular 'play
parties' here. Do you know what those are?”

          I nodded, a
shiver of desire passing through me.

          “You naughty
girl.” He leaned over and kissed me as we parked in front of the club.

          Even arriving on
Danny's arm, I felt daunted. The Blue Room was the most elegant, exquisitely
decorated, places I'd ever been. Everyone here was impossibly beautiful – from
the wait staff to the clientele. Around them I felt gawky, childish...

          “Another Blues
Enterprises venture?”

          “Not the most
salubrious one,” Danny whispered. “We're known for our
discretion
here.”

          I didn't even
want to ask what that meant. Erotic massage? Dominatrices? Escorts? From the
slow, knowing smile on Danny's face I guessed all three.

          “My father wants
me to look after this club, too, now that he's ill,” Danny whispered. “But I'm
not sure girls and leather are quite my scene anymore. But Terrence, on the
other hand...”

          “Terrence?” I
raised an eyebrow. “Haven't you just met the guy?”

          Danny's response
was so quick as to be almost snappish. “I have a hunch about him,” Danny said.
“He knows a lot. And street cred means a lot, here. Speaking of which...”

          Danny looked up.
I followed his gaze.

          And then my jaw
dropped.

          Terrence Steele
was one of the handsomest men I'd ever seen. Dark hair, blue eyes – the
spitting image of Danny, in many ways. But younger, slimmer, a bit shorter,
with a boyish insouciance that the older Danny lacked. A lascivious smile; a
mouth that looked like it was made for whispering the filthiest secrets. A jolt
went up and down my spine.

          I could see why
people would pay to see him naked.

          “Terrence!” Danny
clasped him in an embrace. “I wanted you to meet Never.”

          “Nice to meet
you,” I said, less awkwardly than I felt.

          “Likewise!”
Terrence's smile seemed unfeigned.

          “And welcome to
the Blue Room,” said Danny.

          “No need,”
Terrence said. “I'm no stranger here. I'm familiar with the clientele.” His
smile grew enigmatic. “And with the staff.”

          “Then you won't
have to worry about the learning curve,” said Danny.

          “Learning curve?”
Terrence furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

          “I mean managing
this. For Blues Enterprises.”

          “Seriously?”
Terrence laughed. “That's quite a responsibility for a local porn actor, Danny.
I'm not really used to jobs I can do with my clothes on.”

          “You've got
instincts, Ter,” Danny said, his voice growing stern and business-like. It was
the voice he used to talk to Slayton on the phone. “And you're more in your
element here than I am...”

          “That's certainly
true,” Terrence said. “But do you really think...”

          “I think you're
my brother now,” said Danny. “And that means another Blue! And who better to
work on the Blue Room with me?”

          I felt a sudden
pang in my heart. Danny was moving quickly – awfully quickly. First proposing
marriage to me, then offering his new half-brother management of the Blue Room.
His time in London seemed to have left him manic, desperate to create a new
family at any costs. But was he moving too quickly? Terrence seemed nice
enough, but I wasn't ready to trust him just yet. Was Danny putting himself –
was he putting both of us – in danger?

          I tried to smile
at Terrence, to be polite, to make idle conversation. But I couldn't help but
wonder – what was
really
going on?