No Quarter (NOLA's Own #2) (61 page)

The light was so bright, white and blinding. My eyes watered.

Pain.

A fast cold wind washed over me.

Heads were above me, mouths moving, but I couldn’t make sense of what they were saying.

No, that wasn’t it. I couldn’t
hear
what they were saying above the most deafening ringing in my ears.

Where am I?

There was something over my face, and I reached up to remove it when someone grabbed my hand.

Brian? Brian Murray?

Dressed in his EMT uniform—
am I on a gurney
?—he was trying to tell me something.

“I can’t hear you!” I yelled, trying to talk over the ringing in my ears. “Phil! Where’s Phil?”

Oh gods!
Phil!

Brian looked confused, and that made me panic.

Fuck, is this me waking up from a coma? Have I dreamed up an entire life with my favorite rock star? Am I fucking nuts?

There was no four-carat ring on my left finger.

“PHIL!” I screamed.

The heads above me sprouted arms and restrained me. I thought I recognized two of them. Yes, there were familiar faces above me, shouting and rushing.

If my head had made up a fantasy life, I wanted no part in reality. I wanted back in my coma, so I stopped resisting them. I saw someone inject something into the IV bag hooked up to my arm. I realized they were going to sedate me, and I let them. I didn’t want to be here.

Heaviness descended upon me, my vision blurred.

Brian let go of my hand, and they rushed ahead of him.

Where I was being taken, I didn’t know.

Phil

Jason pulled into the parking lot for the emergency entrance. Just as he threw the SUV into park, I felt it. White hot, a burning glow sparked in my chest. Kenna’s tattoo was on fuckin’
fire.
I clutched at it, gasping at how fast and complete it was. It felt as though I could pluck it off my chest and hold it in my hands.

“Kenna!” I whispered.
Holy fuck! Oh, there you are, my precious Baby Girl! My only love, my other half! I feel you, Baby. I feel you. I got you right here.

“Phil?”

“She’s…” I swallowed and looked at Jason.

He didn’t think I was nuts. He…he fuckin’
got it
. He knew that there was something more between Kenna and me.

“She’s what?” he asked quietly.

I pressed my hand to my heart.
Hey, Baby Girl, I feel you. I ain’t lettin’ you go.
“She’s
here.
”

He nodded. “Good. That’s good, man. Hold on to that,” he said, pulling the keys from the ignition.

We got out of the car and headed for the entrance.

Inside, it was fuckin’ pandemonium. A shit-ton of people were in there, looking for loved ones caught in the explosion. We spotted Alys at the reception counter, weeping, as she tried to get answers from one of the staff.

“…her emergency contact! Dr. Kenna MacGregor.
Please
, can you at least tell me if she’s
alive
?”

“Alys!” I said, heading toward her.

“We’re not able to give any information about anyone at the moment.”

“Why not?” shouted X, his woman falling into his arms, close to hysterics.

“Alys!”

We all looked over to see a guy coming out from the back. He was wearing the uniform the EMTs wore. He knew Alys, so he must’ve known Kenna.

“B-Brian?” Alys stuttered, stunned.

The guy came up to us.

Brian?
The
Brian? As in, friends-with-benefits Brian?

Fuck, my heart was going numb again.
Don’t you fuckin’ leave me, woman! Don’t you ever try to fuckin’ leave me again! If you do, I’m fuckin’ followin’ you!

I could only
just
feel her.

“She’s alive,” said Friends-with-Benefits.

“Oh, thank God!” Alys wailed.

I was about to lose it again. I couldn’t feel her!

Friends-with-Benefits stared at me, looking as though he’d been slapped. “
You’re
her Phil?”

I rubbed her tattoo, trying to feel her. “Yes.”

Where are you, Kenna? Don’t give up on me, woman!

“My unit was the first on the scene. We got to them within minutes of the final explosion. She and Gavin got out in time—”

Relief was overwhelming. I couldn’t fuckin’ stand anymore. My knees folded under me, and Jason and X propped themselves up under my massive ass, holding me upright. Brian braced me with his hands on my chest.

I looked into this man’s eyes, this fucker who
knew
my Baby Girl, who
loved
my Baby Girl. And I found that I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t hate him. He was in hell himself. He’d had her and lost her once already, and he was now going through all of this with us.

“Let’s grab you a seat before you go down,” he said softly.

“I’m fine!” I snapped. Maybe I could hate him a little after all. “What the fuck is goin’ on with Kenna?”

But Jason and X dragged me to the seats, dropping me into the closest one.

Brian squatted down in front of me. “She got out, but the biggest of the blasts was from a gas main blowing. People said they saw her and Gavin dragging someone else with them, that they were halfway across the street when they were thrown from the blast. She was unconscious up until a few minutes ago, and she woke up on her own, which is a really good sign—”

That’s when I felt you come back. You woke up. You let me know you were still with me.

“The doctors had to put her under heavy sedation. She was confused and fighting when she came to. They need to run tests and scans to check her for internal injuries. I won’t lie, man. She’s banged up pretty bad, but as far as we could tell, nothing was broken.”

My head dropped into my hands, and I started sobbing like a little bitch.

“Oh, Baby Girl…” I said. “Oh, thank fuck…”

Brian pulled on my wrist. He was a brave motherfucker. I’d give him that.

“This was on her when I put her in the ambulance,” he said, his voice sounding strange. He pressed it into my hand. “I didn’t want them to lose it. They’d have taken it off her when she went in for scans.”

Her engagement ring. She never took it off if she could help it. She had been wearing it. It hadn’t been in her pocket. My hand tightly closed over it.

“I have her bag, too. It was on her.”

“Thank you,” I told him, meaning it.

“She asked for you when she woke up.”

Aaannnd that was it. I was done. I started to howl, rocking back and forth with the force of it.

Oh, Kenna. My precious Baby Girl. Thank all your gods. Thank the fuckin’ universe. You’re so strong, my other half, my only love.

I could see the colors again. They were coming back.

You’re coming home to me.

Kenna

Sunlight pours down on me as I sit in lotus pose. It’s wonderfully warm here, and I can smell the freshly cut grass. I love that smell, and the air is sweet with it.

“How are you feeling, my little Zephyr?”

I open my eyes to the dazzling sight of my beautiful mother. Her long dark brown hair is free, loose about her shoulders, lifting with the breeze. Her mahogany eyes are full of warmth, love, and joy.

I smile at her. “Confused.”

“About what?”

“Where I am. What’s real. Why I’m here
. Where
is here?” I breathe in deep. “Am I dead?”

She smiles. “Would it be so bad if you were?”

I think about this for a few minutes and reply with, “It depends.”

“On what?”

“What’s real,” I say.

“How do you mean?”

“Is Phil…is he real?”

“Yes. You know he is.”

“Is our relationship real? Or did my head make all of it up?”

Mom’s laughter lifts my spirits. “I see. Yes, it’s real—your relationship, your love for each other. And no, you’re not dead. Just visiting.”

I grin. “Just like old times, eh?”

She grins back. “I love it that you can visit us. Not everyone can.”

“What happened? How did I get here this time?”

Her face darkens, and the sky above us darkens. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I close my eyes. I hear him say,
“Don’t go. Somethin’ doesn’t feel right.”

“He didn’t want me to leave.”

“He’s sensitive like that. Feels things, dreams things,” she says.

“Yes.”

“My sweet little Zephyr.” She takes my hands in hers. “You have rough journey ahead of you. The universe demands testing from you both.”

“Why?”

“He was supposed to be there for you during your greatest pain. He must prove he is worthy of the love you share.”

I hear movement behind me, and looking over my shoulder, I see my grandmother tinkering with the ancient radio. She shoots me a guilty look before spinning a large knob. Static crackles, and a dusty orange light illuminates behind the radio face.

“Prove he’s worthy to whom? He’s always there for me,” I say, turning back to Mom. “There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.”

“Then, it shouldn’t be too long before what you have sacrificed for him to prove himself is restored to you.”

Glancing around, I see blooms of every color blossom before my eyes. My favorite spicy scent plays gently on the breeze.

“You don’t have to bother with it though,” Mom tells me.

I look back into her eyes.

“You can choose to stay here and not suffer through any of it.”

“It wouldn’t matter, Mom. I wouldn’t be at peace here, not without him. I’d rather suffer with him than be here without.”

She beams at me. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

“Aha!” barks Grandma from the porch. She’s hit upon a station.

“Kashmir” comes through the ancient radio. Mom starts softly singing the great classic.

“Can I stay a little longer though?” I ask her, squeezing her hands. “I’ve missed you both so much.”

She nods, singing the words to our song. I join in, harmonizing my voice with hers, and I’d never sang so sweetly or in tune before.

On the porch, Grandma sways in an odd little dance.

“Take this time to listen to your inner voice, Zephyr,” my mom tells me. “In the silence of your mind, you will discover yourself. You will find the answers beyond what your eyes can see.”

“Thanks, Mom. That’s not vague or anything.”

She gives me a beautiful smile. “Some things can’t be given outright. Just trust your head. It will help you see the truth in all things.”

“We’ve got time for a few more!” cries Grandma, fiddling with the stations again. She lands on a clear channel.

“Stairway to Heaven” plays.

I smile at the irony.

Phil

Nine fuckin’ hours. I had been sitting in the fuckin’ waiting room for nine fuckin’ hours and with fuckin’ Friends-with-Benefits, too. The only way I had been able to tolerate his ass was that he was allowed back wherever Kenna was, and he was able to give us updates.

They wouldn’t even let her own father back there.