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Authors: Laramie Briscoe

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BOOK: Out of Darkness
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I
wonder what I did to deserve this? Was it really my fault, playing two clubs against one another, searching for the truth? Did I really deserve to be raped? I think I did, and that’s probably the worst thing. I try to make myself feel better, I really do, but then I realize that maybe I did ask for this.

“What are you writing?”

Meredith slammed the leather journal closed and glanced up at Tyler. The man was beautiful really. He stood easily 6’3, though with his motorcycle boots he probably topped 6’5. The Native American heritage was apparent in his high cheekbones, the long, straight black hair, and the suntanned tone of his skin. His brown eyes burned intensely as he watched her.

“Just journaling like the therapist suggested I do.”

“Speaking of, are you ready for your appointment?”

She nodded. “I am, just gotta grab my backpack.”

Silent as ever, all he did was nod. He was so good to her, taking her wherever she needed to go, never asking for more than what she was willing to give, talking to her only when she spoke to him. It was everything she needed, and she counted on him more than she’d ever thought she would count on another human being. Grabbing her backpack, she put it on and went to stand beside him.

“Ready when you are.”

He ushered her out of the room, past the people gathered in the clubhouse, and out to where he parked his bike. Once there, he got on and handed her the helmet that he’d bought for her and waited for her to hop on the bike.

This was his favorite part of the day, when she would put her arms tightly around his waist and hang on for dear life. It was the only time she allowed him to touch her. Sometimes at night, he would watch her sleep. Very rarely, he would carefully perch himself on the edge of the bed and lightly run his fingertips over her cheek. Everybody thought he was a saint for trying to help her through this time in her life, but he truly was a bastard because of the thoughts he had about her when she would subconsciously nuzzle closer.

Meredith loved the feel of the wind against her face as they rode the bike along the back roads of Warren County. Luckily for her, the therapist that had been recommended was more of a country doctor, catering to most of the uninsured in the community. She didn’t even have to go into the city for her appointments. Tyler revved the bike as they went around a curve, and she risked a smile. She knew it was for her. She loved the little jump it gave, and it always made her squeal and tighten her arms around his flat midsection.

They got to the old farmhouse the doctor used for an office, and Tyler turned off the bike, balancing it with his long legs so she could get off.

“You want me to stick around or take off?”

She wasn’t sure how long this session would last. She had some things she wanted to discuss, and she didn’t want to be rushed.

“You can take off if you want, I don’t know how long this’ll take.”

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, concern marring his face.

“I am, but I need to talk some things through. I don’t want you to have to wait on me.”

“You know it’s not a problem for me to do that, right?”

She gave him a small smile. “I know, Tyler, but you go do something for yourself okay. I’m giving you a break from babysitter duty.”

“Don’t do that. I’m not ‘babysitting’ you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” It bothered him that she just assumed she knew his mind, knew what he wanted to do. His temper spiked, but he kept it under control for her.

Meredith could tell what it cost him not to talk back to her, not to raise his voice and show anger. It simmered there below the surface and she could see it, but he wouldn’t unleash on her. A part of her wished he would. Another part worried what would happen when he exploded one day. Instead, she sighed, talking calmly.

“I know, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

He gave her a salute as he started the bike and roared off. Squaring her shoulders, Meredith took a deep breath and entered the house.

“How has your week been going, Meredith?”

Doctor Jones was an older woman. She had salt and pepper gray hair and the demeanor of a grandmother. Meredith loved talking with her.

“It’s been going. I’m still having trouble sleeping. I can get to sleep a lot easier now, but it’s the staying asleep I’m having trouble with.”

“Is Tyler still sleeping in the room with you?”

Meredith blushed. “He is, but still on the floor.”

“Has he made any kind of move to try and get back in his bed or move you out?”

“Not at all. I guess that’s what unnerves me.”

Doctor Jones sat forward. “Unnerves you how?”

“What if he wants to get back into his bed, but what if he doesn’t want me to be there?”

Her brows knitted in confusion. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

“What if he has male urges, but he knows that I’m not going to satisfy them.”

“Oh, you’re wondering if he wants to bring a woman home for sex?”

Meredith nodded, her face going red.

“Now, are you blushing, or are you jealous?” Meredith ran her sweaty palms along her jean clad thighs.

She watched as the doctor made notes in her notebook. It felt like this answer held a lot of weight. Like if she got it wrong, she would never be the woman she had been before.

“A little bit of both. Is that bad?”

“Not at all, Meredith. You’ve had a tragedy, but you aren’t dead. I’ve seen the man. You’d have to
be
dead in order not to notice how nice looking he is.”

“But what if I’m holding him back? I mean, it’s been a month, almost a month and a half, since it happened. I still can’t even stand to have a man inadvertently touch me. How long is he going to stand for that?”

The doctor pursed her lips. “Let’s break this down Meredith. Has he approached you in any way?”

“Well no, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t thought about it. I just don’t think I can act on it again – ever.”

“Why don’t you do this? Why don’t you explain to him your feelings and see if you can start out small. The two of you are friends, right? Maybe you should concentrate on spending time one-on-one. Get used to him that way and then see if he’ll take you out on a date. I warn you, if you move too swiftly you could set yourself back.”

Meredith knew in her heart that was true. She also knew that she was the only person here trying to rush herself. For some reason, she didn’t doubt Tyler would wait for her forever. It just made her nervous, the number of women who hung around the clubhouse. They all had their eyes on either Tyler or Liam, and now with Liam spoken for they, were almost all exclusively coming for Tyler. She wanted to stake her claim, but she didn’t know how.

“I’ll do that. I’ll talk to him about maybe spending some one-on-one time together. Ya know, outside of the bedroom.” Nervously she nodded, wetting her dry lips with her tongue.

“You set the pace for this, Meredith. As long as you feel comfortable, it can go at whatever pace you want it to. There is no right or wrong. Remember that.”

Chapter Three

H
er watch showed he was late. Tyler was never late, especially to pick her up from her appointment. Tucking her lip in between her teeth, she contemplated if she should call him. Would that be too similar to her acting like a girlfriend? Putting her thumb over his number in her contacts, she was about to press dial when she heard the roar of his bike.

As he came to a stop in front of her and turned the engine off, he was apologizing. “Sorry I’m late. I was boxing with Layne, and I didn’t realize what time it was.”

“Boxing?” she asked as she came down the steps of the front porch. Now that she was closer, she could see that his hair was wet. It looked like he had taken a quick shower before he came to get her.

“Yeah. Kinda like you going for a run. Layne and I box. He has the same kind of temper as me.”

Layne, she knew, was a Prospect who had been over in Iraq as a member of the armed forces. He probably did have a lot of aggression to get rid of. “I understand, I was just worried.”

“It’s the only way I can keep from showing you my anger,” he admitted. “I don’t want to scare you, but sometimes I want so badly to find the fucker and beat his brains out that I’ve just got to release it somehow.”

She understood exactly where he was coming from. When she was ready, she wanted to find him and do the exact same thing. “I know,” she told him softly as she got on the back of the bike.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t hold herself away from him. Business as usual. It was just him that felt disoriented on this day.

She couldn’t breathe. Her face was being held down in the dirt, and dusty soil coated her tongue, making it heavy. Meredith tried with everything she had to scream, but all she kept getting were mouthfuls of earth. All of a sudden she started to choke. It caused her to panic, and she began to hyperventilate, trying to breathe air into her lungs. Clawing with her nails, she fought against the weight pressing her down, but she could not get it off her. Her back ached as she tried to throw the heaviness off. Thrashing her head back and forth, she fought to get either air in or dirt out. It didn’t matter which.

“Meredith.”

BOOK: Out of Darkness
7.46Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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