Out of Rhythm (Face the Music Book 1) (7 page)

BOOK: Out of Rhythm (Face the Music Book 1)
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‘Nope. Although he was very careful not to bring too many home, and not too frequently.’

‘And you?’

Kirsten nodded. Shit, all this time she’d assumed Kirsten was going home with her boyfriends, not taking them home. She’d assumed that because that was what she’d had to do — or the uncomfortable backseat of the car. Once she’d decided guys were not for her, there was no way she was taking anyone home. Her parents, her dad, would pitch a fit. But Kirsten had come around a few times during high school.

In fact, if she dated Kirsten no one would know because they’d been friends for so long. From the outside their relationship would look no different. But inside…if…when Kirsten changed her mind and wanted dick, she was going to get burned. Right now the fire was too tempting. ‘Dinner sounds great, but I have a couple of things to do first.’

Dan was sitting on the beach, staring out across the water, when Gemma joined him. She’d called him and asked if they could talk. He’d agreed but she wasn’t sure if he was relieved or resigned on the phone. She kicked off her shoes and walked over. He glanced up, didn’t say anything.

He’d been her friend for as long as she’d been in the band. They had clicked and it showed in their writing, and unfortunately it showed now.

She sat, the sand was hot through her jeans. Around them kids played and parents followed.

‘Well, I’m guessing you aren’t here to take me up on any of my offers.’

She was going to punch him. ‘Three strikes and I’m out of here.’

‘Chill, Gemma.’ He kept his gaze on the ocean. ‘I know why you’re here. You’re braver than I am.’

She frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘You are ready to admit we have a problem. I’d like to stick my head in the sand for a little longer.’

‘I don’t think that’s going to help.’

‘Alcohol didn’t either.’

She knew he’d had a couple of blinders after Lisa had cut him free. ‘Want to talk about it?’

‘Nope.’ He picked up a handful of sand and let it trickle through his fingers.

This was going to be harder than expected. ‘Everyone loved
One Mistake
.’

‘Mmm.’ He didn’t seem thrilled by that. ‘I never cheated on her.’

‘I didn’t think you had.’

‘You must be the only one.’

She remained silent, giving him the chance to speak. She knew how much he’d loved Lisa. She’d seen it in some of the lyrics, but she’d also seen the strain after he’d flown back home for a few days and then rejoined the band for the next gig.

‘She gave me an ultimatum. Her or the band.’

‘Oh.’ She hadn’t realised that Lisa resented the band that much.

Dan glanced at her but his eyes were unreadable behind his dark sunglasses. ‘She wanted me to get a sensible job and to grow up.’

‘That’s what my family expects too.’

‘She was pregnant.’ His voice broke.

‘What?’ Gemma turned to face him.

Dan rubbed his face, his fingers sliding under his sunglasses. ‘When I refused to quit she terminated. Every time I’m with you lot I see what I lost. But I knew that if I’d quit, every time I looked at her I’d see the same thing.’

She didn’t know what to say. She had nothing to say. It certainly put a different slant on
One Mistake
. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I thought it was an accident. She told me later it had been deliberate because she wanted me to come home. That pissed me off. The ultimatum was worse.’ He shook his head. ‘And somehow my family and friends think I’m the bad guy out of this. Everyone thinks I’m the dick.’

‘You never told them the truth.’

‘Because I’d still end up being the dick even though I was set up. I feel so…betrayed I guess. I trusted her.’ He looked at her. ‘I’m trusting you.’

‘I won’t say anything.’ She was used to keeping secrets.

He grunted and stared out across the ocean. ‘When I look at the problems we’re having with the second album, I wonder if I made the right choice.’

She had nothing to say to that. It was a gamble they were all taking. How close had he come to chucking it in and coming home? How long would he and Lisa have lasted before the truth eventually came out, or he started resenting that she’d made him choose?

‘She was always jealous of you.’

‘Ha.’ Lisa wouldn’t have touched her life with a ten foot barge pole and a hazmat suit. ‘You’re a good friend and I like hanging out with you.’

‘And that’s all.’ He didn’t look at her as he spoke. Had he actually thought something would happen?

‘Yeah.’ She was so tempted to tell him that it was her, not him…but she didn’t want anyone looking over her shoulder. She didn’t want Kirsten to be in their line of sight. So she bit her tongue. After all this time it wasn’t hard. ‘If I was a guy, you wouldn’t have even thought about it.’

‘True.’ He turned. ‘But you aren’t. Is every girlfriend I ever have going to be jealous?’

What, was he turning this around on her? ‘I don’t know. Is any boyfriend I have,’ she almost choked on the blatant lie, ‘going to be jealous?’

Dan frowned. ‘I’d never thought of that.’

Of course not, because he was wrapped up in his own world. She sat silent for a little longer, well aware that she needed to head home and grab her overnight bag — would she ever stop living out of a suitcase — before going round to Kirsten’s, but not wanting to rush Dan.

‘We could try.’ He glanced at her with a smile.

Gemma stood up. ‘That won’t help the situation. Find a groupie.’

He grimaced. ‘Not my thing.’

‘Neither am I. Don’t make being friends with you hard work. If you want to talk or write, I’m here, but if you want to make passes at me so I can reject you, forget it.’ She took a step away. ‘For the record, I don’t think you’re a dick…yet.’

She wished she knew how to help him, but this was something he had to work out for himself, the same way she’d had to.

He sighed. ‘Self-fulfilling prophecy.’

‘Got lyrics for that?’

Dan laughed and Gemma realised it had been a while since she’d heard him laugh. For how long had he been unhappy? Over how many months had the situation with Lisa unfolded? She didn’t know.

‘No…maybe I should work on it.’

‘Yeah, maybe you should.’

At some point they’d have to all sit down and try to put something together. Right now that felt too much like work, and they were all tired and needing a break, in spite the need for momentum breathing down their necks. If they didn’t cough up, then someone else would be ready to step up.

He stood up and dusted the sand off his jeans. ‘Thank you for listening.’

‘You’d have done the same.’ She hoped that was true. ‘What are you going to do now?’

‘Nothing.’ he shook his head. ‘Did you want to have pizza at Mike’s?’

She looked at him, but there didn’t seem to be an ulterior motive hidden in the invitation. ‘Nah. I’m catching up with Kirsten.’

‘Your parents being cool?’

Gemma sighed. She didn’t want to have that conversation. ‘Same as always.’

‘That sucks.’ He pushed his hands into his pockets and he started walking toward the car park with her.

Yes it did.

‘Do you ever wonder if you’re doing the right thing?’ he asked as they reached her car.

She didn’t want Selling the Sun to vanish, it was all she had. If Dan had seriously thought about quitting, had the others?

Had there been conversations she hadn’t been a part of? No, she couldn’t think like that.

‘Every day, lately…but I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.’ Regardless of the ups and downs, she loved her job. Was Dan asking about the band or Lisa? If it was Lisa he’d probably dodged a bullet, but she couldn’t think of a nice way to say it and he wasn’t ready to hear it. When he was, he’d work that out for himself. ‘Have fun tonight.’

‘You too.’

Despite the nerves, she was looking forward to seeing Kirsten and staying over. She wanted to be able to share that excitement. The thrill of seeing someone new. Kirsten might have been her best friend for years, but they’d be stepping off the edge and changing what they had. Hopefully for the better.

‘And if you girls get bored, give me and Mike a call and we’ll help you out.’ Dan grinned and stepped out of range so she couldn’t punch him in the arm.

She settled for flipping him the bird before getting into her car.

He waved, but he wasn’t smiling anymore. Gemma had no doubts that he and Mike would be having a big one. Usually she’d have joined them, but tonight she was hoping for some wine and a quiet evening in. As she drove, she tried not to think about all the ways it could all go wrong. Dan didn’t hold all the cards in the disastrous relationships deck.

Chapter 6

Inviting Gemma had been easy and dinner was almost feeling like old times, except Kirsten was wondering about what would happen afterwards and kept losing track of the conversation. Ed and Gemma were busy regaling them with stories of life on the road — the awful bits that were only funny in hindsight.

When her father asked how they were going with writing new stuff, things got awkward.

‘Nothing is grabbing us in the right way.’ Gemma said as she twirled her wine glass.

Ed nodded. ‘There seems to be more riding on this one. It should be easier but it’s harder.’

‘Trying too hard?’ Kirsten teased, trying to lighten the mood. Her effort fell flat.

Gemma’s wineglass stilled and she glanced at Ed. ‘Fear of failing.’

Was Gemma talking about the music or letting Ed down? Kirsten knew Ed had kept his friends away from her, the over-protective elder brother. He’d made sure the guys in the band knew she was off limits — did that mean Gemma too? Was she having doubts and feeling off kilter? Kirsten looked at her brother. Was Gemma one of the guys in this case?

No. She’d known Gemma for longer than Ed. She’d been Gemma’s friend long before she’d joined the band.

Ed shrugged. ‘I got as much nothing as you. We’re all dry.’

‘Kirsten has a point. You need to stop thinking about it and trying to force it,’ their father said.

‘The studio time is booked. We have to get it done.’

‘Or give up and get a real job.’ Silence followed their father’s reminder.

It was an ever-present threat. Until Ed moved out for good, it would always be there. It made her career choice of hairdressing look good. But today there was no joy in being the sensibly employed child. Ed and Gemma both looked grim and she was about to prove to herself that she wasn’t as boring and sensible as everyone thought by sleeping with Gemma.

Was she using Gemma to rebel?

It was a bit late for teenage rebellion. Besides, when she looked at Gemma her heart pumped a little harder, the way it did when she was with a guy that she wanted to jump. It had been before the kiss that she’d realised Gemma had an effect on her. Maybe it was when Gemma had first started travelling with Selling the Sun, and Kirsten went weeks without seeing her. But she’d always squashed the feeling. The kiss had changed that, and then she’d panicked because it had changed everything she thought she knew about herself.

Imagine if she hadn’t freaked out?

Gemma poured herself another glass of wine. Kirsten held out her glass for more, but Ed and her parents declined.

‘You’re staying tonight, Gemma?’ Kirsten’s mother asked — because of how much alcohol Gemma had consumed? Or because of the conversation she and Kirsten had earlier in the week?

This was the wrong time to be bringing that up. Kirsten was suddenly too hot and, while no one was staring at her, it felt as if they all knew. She sneaked a peek at Gemma under her lashes but Gemma was acting cool, as if nothing were different to any other time she’d stayed over, which had been a lot before the tour had started.

‘If that’s all right, Mrs Vincent?’ Gemma’s voice was calm, as though nothing were the slightest bit odd.

‘It’s always all right. The spare room is always available if your place is too crowded or you and Ed suddenly get inspired.’

Gemma’s cheeks turned pink and she took a sip of wine, she gave Kirsten a very pointed look, and then smiled at Kirsten’s mother. ‘Thanks. My brothers, in my absence, started using my bedroom as a storage room.’

Kirsten heard the bite in Gemma’s words. All was not well at home, not that it was unusual. Nor was it odd that Gemma hadn’t spoken about it. She tended not to. Her strategy was avoidance. It was why she’d broached the subject with her mother; she hadn’t expected her mother to be so forward. It would be just like Gemma to go home to prove she didn’t need help.

‘It will be like we never left,’ Ed said. Kirsten couldn’t decide if he meant that in a good way or a bad way.

Then he got up, ‘Thanks for dinner. I’m going to head out.’ He glanced at Kirsten, and she shook her head. Not this time. This evening was just for her and Gemma and sorting out what the hell was going on.

‘So what are you two planning to do?’ her mother smiled.

Gemma looked at her plate.

‘We were going to watch a movie, talk, catch up.’ Have sex, possibly…she had no idea. Awkward. At least her parents didn’t suspect and her dad wasn’t trying to be friendly and pretending to like the guy she was dating. They already liked Gemma. Win!

How they’d feel if things went further, she didn’t know.

‘We’ll clean up, Mrs Vincent.’ Gemma stood and started gathering plates before anyone could disagree. That was Gemma trying to escape scrutiny. It was more obvious now than it had been before, or at least it was to Kirsten. She’d always thought Gemma the brave one, the person who’d jump off the end of the pier and into the ocean without a second thought.

In part that was true, but when it came to personal stuff Gemma wasn’t brave or fearless. It was as if she didn’t want anyone to see what was going on inside, unless it was in her music.

A little later, her parents went upstairs where they had their own sitting room. Except for the kitchen and laundry, it was almost two separate houses. They’d moved in when Kirsten had been twelve and it had seemed huge, now with Ed back it was full. She glanced at Gemma; no, her house wasn’t full. Gemma’s was. And Gemma parents would not be okay with anything Gemma was doing.

BOOK: Out of Rhythm (Face the Music Book 1)
9.07Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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