Promises After Dark (After Dark Book 3) (8 page)

‘Yes. I know things I didn’t know before.’

‘Like whether or not you’ve had anything to do with . . .’ He can’t bring himself to say Andrei’s name.

‘Yes. Yes. You know I don’t lie, you know I tell the truth. Please listen to me. Don’t let us lose what we have over some stupid confusion.’ I gaze at him beseechingly. ‘Five minutes. Please.’

He stares down at the floor as though fighting an internal battle. ‘All right,’ he says after a moment. ‘You’ve got five minutes. But that’s all.’

‘Here?’ I ask, glancing around the hotel lobby where people are milling about and staff are keeping an interested eye on us.

He thinks for a second. ‘No. We’ll go to my room. Come with me.’

I follow hastily as he strides away over the marble floor towards the lifts and a moment later we are standing together in an elevator, riding up to the third floor. Dominic doesn’t look at me but I can tell he’s affected by my presence by the tension in his shoulders and the firm set to his lips. Standing beside him, I’m in a complete whirl. It’s taking all my strength not to touch him. The desire to reach out is almost overwhelming. I long to brush my fingertips over his hand, to press my lips to that soft part of his neck below his ear and breathe in the warm scent of his skin. I can feel my body responding to his nearness with delight, making itself ready for the pleasure of his touch. I want to tell it to calm down. While my hormones are revving up and my nerve endings preparing to turn somersaults of joy, my brain is trying to overrule my excited body and tell it to stand down – nothing is certain. Yet.

The lift door slides open and we make our way down a carpeted corridor to the door of Dominic’s room. As he pushes the door open, he turns on the lights inside to reveal a comfortable, elegant room. I follow him in and he turns to look at me.

‘Come on then. Five minutes. I’m busy, Beth. This is a really important time for me.’

His gaze is cold. I hate seeing that look in his eyes. Has he really changed how he feels about me? Will I never see again that soft loving look or the burning intensity of desire? I don’t know how I’ll survive it if he stops loving me. The thought of never tasting another kiss from him twists in my chest with physical pain. I’ve got five minutes to win him back.

‘When we last saw each other, you wanted to know whether anything had happened between Andrei and me,’ I begin.

He cuts in roughly. ‘And you couldn’t answer. Remember?’

‘I know, I know and I was an idiot. I knew I’d never wanted anything to happen. He’d made a few suggestions to me, that we might . . . that something might happen . . . but of course I always turned him down flat. Because you’re all I want and need, you know that.’ I gaze at him imploringly, but his eyes are still cold and his mouth unsmiling. ‘The night of the party in the catacombs something very strange happened to me when we were apart. You were dancing with Anna and we were separated, but Anna came up to me and while I was distracted, she drugged my drink. I don’t know what she put in it, but I’m certain she’s the one who did it. She’s got form, Dominic. She must have told you that she uses drugs.’

There’s a flicker of reaction in his eyes but I can’t tell what kind of reaction it is. I press on.

‘I didn’t know I was drugged but everything started to go really strange. I got very confused and then lost in the caves when I tried to find you. But you found me, didn’t you? And we made love in the caves. But because of the way it happened, afterwards I had the most horrible thought that it hadn’t been you, even though I’d been convinced it was. For weeks I was tormented by the fear that perhaps I’d been unfaithful to you without meaning to. I was afraid I’d made love to Andrei by accident.’

Dominic makes a sound like a bitter laugh. ‘Accident!’ he says quietly.

‘Yes.’ I take a step towards him. ‘Please, you must believe me. When you asked me to swear, I desperately wanted to because I knew that in my heart I’ve always been utterly faithful, completely yours. There’s no one else I want, Dominic, you know that!’

‘So why didn’t you just ask me if we had made love in the caves?’

‘Because I was trapped,’ I said quietly. ‘If I asked you, and you said no, then you’d have known something happened with someone else, and I couldn’t bear that. I can’t explain what it was like that night, how weird and distorted everything was. My perceptions were so warped. I didn’t understand how it had happened until I realised what Anna had done.’

He stares at me. His dark brown eyes with their coppery lights are almost unreadable but I think I can see that I’ve touched something in him. I sense him struggling with himself. I can guess that he’s spent a lot of time convincing himself that it’s over between us but he can’t fight his feelings, his desires.

I want to beg him to give in to them, tell him that he mustn’t try to kill what he feels for me. It’s too precious; it has so much to give us both.

‘I wanted to be honest with you, I’ve never lied,’ I say quietly. ‘I couldn’t swear before but now I can. Nothing has ever happened between me and Andrei Dubrovski, and I vow that on my life.’

‘How can you be so sure now?’ he asks abruptly.

‘Because I asked him. And he told me that nothing happened.’

An awful look contorts Dominic’s face and his fists clench. ‘You’ve been with him.’

‘Of course, I’m still working for him. Now that Mark is ill I’m the only one available.’

‘And what were the cosy circumstances that made you able to ask Andrei if he’s ever fucked you while you were high on whatever little concoction Anna slipped you?’ His voice is sardonic, unpleasant.

‘I didn’t want to ask him but I had to. I had to know the truth for the sake of us.’

Dominic turns his face away from me, staring at the floor, a muscle pulsing in his jaw. He’s fighting something. I know he hates the thought of Andrei and me together.

‘He means nothing to me,’ I say. ‘I love you. You know that. Please, Dominic. Don’t let him drive us apart. He would love that so much. If we’re happy, it will be the best revenge you could ever have on him.’

He looks up at me at last and I almost gasp at the sight of the pain in his eyes. ‘You don’t know how hard this has been for me,’ he says, his voice low. He goes over to one of the armchairs and sinks down into it. ‘Beth, no one has ever made me feel this way. Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve been in the strangest place. Everything I thought I could control – it’s all been turned upside down. I’ve had to question everything about myself.’

I go over to him and kneel on the floor beside his chair. I take his hand in mine and hold it gently, savouring the touch of his skin. He lets me caress it. I want to kiss it but I restrain myself.

‘I thought I knew about love,’ he says huskily. ‘But I knew nothing. I thought love was about agreements and boundaries and submission to my will. But with you, love has been chaotic, uncontrollable and I’ve had to relinquish power as much as exert it. You know how that’s tormented me.’

He gazes down at me, his brown eyes softer now as he begs for understanding. I nod. I know that our journey together has taken Dominic to places he hasn’t expected. He’s tried to reject aspects of himself only to find them emerging in other ways. He stopped using certain instruments on me when we made love, thinking it would prevent his need for control and dominance, but those facets couldn’t be suppressed, even when he tried to beat them out of himself with self-flagellation.

‘I love you, everything about you,’ I say gently, longing for my touch to heal the breach between us and give him back the confidence to be himself. ‘You don’t have to change.’

His head droops a little. I’m desperate to kiss his mouth, wrap my arms about him, feel his hot skin against mine. I lift his hand to my lips and press them on it.

‘Beth.’ His voice sounds cracked. I look up. He’s gazing down at me. ‘I don’t know . . . I’m not ready yet.’

‘Don’t you want this?’ I ask softly, pressing another kiss on his hand.

He groans. ‘Of course I do. You know the power you have over me. But . . .’ He closes his eyes for a second and when he opens them, he seems determined. ‘You and I are not just about sex, you know that. This is important, this is serious, this is about our hearts. I want to fuck you very, very badly. But when we do, it has to be because it’s the real thing. Until ten minutes ago I had resolved to shut you out of my life. I can’t just make love now as though all that is reversed. I have to think about it and be sure. I can’t risk the pain of getting it wrong again.’

I want to leap up and shout joyously, ‘But we are together, there’s nothing to keep us apart!’ but I don’t. I know that what seems simple to me is not so straightforward for Dominic. I haven’t had to fight the inner battles that he has faced. So I say softly, ‘And what if the people who fuck aren’t us?’

He looks at me, frowning. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean . . . it doesn’t have to be Beth and Dominic.’ I stand up. ‘Wait for me.’

I go into the bathroom and start to take off my coat, then my clothes. I’m wearing a plain black dress that buttons down the front to the waist. I slip it over my head, catching a glimpse of my face in the mirror. My eyes are bright and intense and my cheeks are flushed. I undo my bra and take it off, then slip off my tights and knickers. I’m naked in the bathroom of Dominic’s hotel room. This is kind of strange but I’m thinking on my feet here. I pick up my dress and put it back on. I’m barefoot, without underwear, wearing just my dress.

Opening the bathroom door, I see that Dominic is still sitting in the chair, waiting for me to emerge.

‘Stay there,’ I say. ‘Close your eyes.’

He closes his eyes obediently and I go quickly to the door of the room and let myself out into the corridor. Excitement is bubbling up inside me. I have no idea if this will work, perhaps it’s too crazy, but it’s worth a try. It will all depend on whether Dominic is prepared to go with it or not.

I knock on the door.

A moment later, he answers, opening it just a little. ‘Yes?’

Excellent. He hasn’t said, ‘Beth’ or ‘What are you doing?’ He’s open to this whether he knows it or not.

‘Your maid service is here, sir,’ I say in a low voice.

‘My maid service?’

‘Didn’t you order a maid service?’

‘I’m not sure I did, but as you’re here, you’d better come in.’ He opens the door wider and I step into the room. I keep my head bowed, looking at my bare toes on the carpet, and my hands are clasped in front of me.

‘Who are you?’ he asks in a commanding voice.

That’s right, my love, that’s right.

‘My name is Rosa,’ I reply. It came straight into my head. It sounds right.

‘Hello, Rosa.’ Dominic is observing me but I don’t look at him. ‘And you’re my maid, is that right?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘How interesting. What are your duties?’

‘Anything you wish, sir.’

‘Anything?’

I nod, then add, ‘Yes, sir.’

‘I see.’ I can tell from the tone in Dominic’s voice that he is tickled by this scenario. I know he’s getting turned on, and I know that I am from the feeling of swelling anticipation between my legs.

‘Well, you seem like a promising maid, Rosa. You appear to be very willing and that’s good. But we need to see if you are all that you seem. First, Rosa, I want you to prepare the bed.’

‘Yes sir.’ I walk over to the large double bed and take off the decorative cushions, and fold back the heavy damask covering to reveal the pillows and blankets beneath.

‘Take the covering completely off, please.’

‘Yes, sir.’ I fold back the heavy bedspread until it falls to the floor.

‘Oh no. That’s very messy, Rosa. I can’t have that. Tidy it up, please.’

I try to fold up the bedspread but it’s stiff and heavy and I struggle with it. Dominic watches as I manage to make it tidy.

‘You still have a lot to learn,’ he says.

‘I apologise, sir,’ I say, dropping my head down. ‘I’m clumsy.’

‘You are clumsy, aren’t you? You know what, Rosa, I like you but I think it’s important to set out the boundaries right away. I can’t tolerate clumsiness. You must learn to do better. Come here.’

I walk towards him, my heart thumping hard with delicious anticipation. I’m aware of my dress moving across my bare skin. Dominic sits down on the stool by the dressing table. I go and stand in front of him.

‘Put yourself across my knee,’ he says, his voice kind. ‘You need a gentle reminder, I think. My maids have to be of the highest standards, I can’t accept anything else. Do you understand?’

I nod and swallow, my throat dry and my skin tingling. I crouch down and lie across his lap. It’s awkward because the stool is high and I can’t put my knees on the floor but I have to bend my legs to be low enough. Nevertheless I love the sensation of his hard thigh muscles beneath my chest and a moment later I’m not thinking about the awkwardness, only about the fact that with one large smooth palm, Dominic is smoothing my dress up over my buttocks. He gives a small gasp as he realises I’m not wearing anything underneath, then a throaty noise of appreciation. He runs his hand over my buttocks, smoothing it gently over the surface, relishing the plumpness and the warmth of the skin.

‘Oh Rosa, you have a beautiful bottom. I can’t wait to see it pink and hot. I hope this won’t hurt you too much, but it’s important that you learn your lesson.’