Promises Prevail (The Promise Series) (40 page)

“Never, baby. I won’t let you go for anything or anyone—living or dead.”

Clint felt the shaking start in Jenna. It started way down deep inside her with barely perceptible trembles, but then it moved outward to her limbs, jostling him as she vibrated against him. Her arms crept around his neck, her nails dug into his nape. Her tears soaked his collar as she gasped, “Oh God! Oh God!”

He felt the bite of her nails as she pulled herself closer, as if she needed to sink inside him.

“Oh God, Clint. Am I crazy?”

“No, Sunshine,” he whispered, holding her as tightly as she could stand. “You’ve just been scared one time too many.”

“But you don’t need to fear anymore,” Cougar said, standing.

“No.” Clint cupped her head in his hand. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

She felt small and soft in his arms. A gentle woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Someone, some man had abused that softness. Tried to crush her. Terrified her to the point that she thought she was insane.

“I almost killed myself for nothing.”

“But you didn’t.”

“What if I do it again?”

“You won’t.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks. “As soon as you get your feet back under you, you’ll be right as rain.”

He stroked her hair, tugging the few straggling pieces free. She’d been through hell, but she’d survived. He kissed her hair. She was his wife now. He knew her value. He’d cherish that softness. Protect it. And anyone who messed with her again would die.

“I’m your husband now, Jenna. Not some weak-ass bully. I know how to protect my family.”

“We will all protect you,” Cougar added, his drawl resonating with the assurance of a man who knew how to back his promise. “You’re one of us now.”

Clint flashed him a grateful look as Jenna relaxed the tiniest bit.

“You have nothing to fear anymore,” Clint told her, adding his assurances to Cougar’s, telling himself it wasn’t too much of a lie. She’d be fine until the day she discovered the truth about him and tried to leave. Then she’d see what a bastard he was, but between now and then he’d keep her safe.

Chapter Sixteen

Oh God. She’d almost killed herself. Over a misunderstanding. Left Bri without a mother. Left her husband without a wife. All because she hadn’t fought the memories. Maybe she was as crazy as Jack had always claimed. Except she didn’t feel crazy when Clint held her. She felt safe. Whole. Until something like today happened and she knew how fragile her reality really was. She couldn’t go on like this.

The back door slammed. Cougar taking Bri outside.

“I’m sorry.”

Clint’s hold gentled. “For what?”

“For threatening to shoot your friends.”

“It’s not the first time someone’s taken a pot shot at them.”

“I don’t know what happened.”

“You got scared.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“For a while, we’ll let it slide as one.”

He was so kind. So patient. She turned her cheek against his chest.

“I’m still sorry.”

“For pointing a gun at Cougar and Asa? Or for trying to kill yourself?”

She didn’t know how to answer that. A tug at her nape had her head tilting back. The sun from the parlor window slanted off his right cheekbone, illuminating his dark eyes with streaks of light.

“The latter you need to spend a lifetime apologizing for.” His lips touched hers. “You’re mine, Sunshine. Forever. No matter what.”

She’d never been kissed with so much emotion. Never been held with so much tenderness. And never, ever wanted to believe something so badly. He held her until her heartbeat slowed. Until her panic ebbed, and until her embarrassment faded beneath the steadiness of his touch. As it did, she noted that while she was relaxed, he was not. The arms that held her were tense, the heart beating beneath her cheek did so faster than normal, and when she glanced at his face there were white lines carved beside his mouth.

“Clint?”

He looked down. “What do you need Jenna?”

Not an abrupt, “What?” No lecture—just an instant offer of comfort.

“You’re upset,” she began, not sure how to broach the subject

“You scared the shit out of me.”

She stroked his chest. “I scared myself.”

“We’ll get past it.”

He had such faith in her. For absolutely no reason. She touched the corner of his mouth where the skin showed white. He deserved a reason.

“I’m not going back to her.”

He frowned. “To who?”

She moved her touch to the lines between his dark brows. “To that woman who gets so mindless with fear that she does stupid things.”

The lines around his eyes might have softened imperceptibly.

“Glad to hear it.”

“I don’t know how, but I’m going to change.” She meant every word. “I’m not leaving you or Brianna because of the past.”

“There’s no rush. I’ll be more careful.”

How much more careful could he be?

“I think some of this has to come from me.” She ran her finger down the straight bridge of his nose, taking strength from his confidence. She could be the woman he saw when he looked at her.

His hand smoothed over her hair, his pinkie catching in a snarl.

“When you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and eased his finger free.

“Now?”

She nodded. “I want to make you feel better.”

He hugged her as carefully as if she were fine china and in danger of shattering.

“I’m fine.”

He wasn’t. She could feel the tension humming beneath his skin. “Please?”

He tipped her chin up. “What I need, you’re not in any condition to give me.”

The rejection hit her hard. She dropped her gaze and folded her hands in her lap. It took about two seconds for her to realize what she’d done.

And after she’d vowed to change. She tipped her face up and looked Clint dead in the eye.

“No.”

Both his eyebrows went winging up. “No?”

She couldn’t blame him for his surprise. She’d never said that to him without being out of her head, but she was saying it to him now. She clenched her fingers tighter.

“You can’t keep treating me like I’ll break, and then expect me to be strong.”

“I don’t expect you to be strong.”

That hurt more than the rejection.

“I want to be, and you have to help me.”

He leaned back as if to see her better. “I do?”

“Yes, starting now.” She took a breath and let it out. “You have to tell me what you need and let me decide if I can give it to you.”

“That sounds like an order.”

She took another breath, held it in an agony of daring and answered, “It was.”

He didn’t move or seem to breathe for three heartbeats, and then, unbelievably, he laughed.

“You are an amazing woman, Jenna McKinnely.”

The back of his fingers brushed her cheek, his dark eyes thoughtful. She leaned into them and waited.

He sighed, and she knew she’d won.

“I came too damned close to losing you.” He paused, and a muscle in his jaw leapt. “I need you.”

“You want to make love to me?”

“More than just make love.” He shook his head as if disgusted with himself. “I want to bury myself in you until you can’t separate where I end and you begin.”

She turned in his arms, her breast pressing into his stomach, one hand going to where she knew his scars were, imagining she could feel them through all the barriers.

“And you think I wouldn’t want to give you that?”

She’d give him anything he wanted.

“You’re very vulnerable right now.”

She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. The thought of making love right now with the memories so strong made her cringe, but the thought of disappointing Clint when he needed her was worse.

“Maybe I need you like that, too. Maybe I need to know you still want me.”

His hand curved around the back of her skull, cradling her head. “I’ll always want you.”

She slid her hands over his shoulders, skimming her fingers up the side of his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumbs before cupping his cheeks and pulling his mouth to hers. She focused on Clint. He was the only one who mattered right now.

“Then kiss me.”

She needed him to make the demons go away. To remind her of how things were now.

He did, his mouth gentle as it touched hers, a mere brushing of lips when she expected possession. The easy ebb and flow of his mouth on hers gave her time to adjust fully to the moment. To push away the last remnants of the past. She gave herself to his kiss, the strength in it, the comfort. Beneath her hands she felt the finest of tremors hit him before his kiss changed, became harder, deeper, more passionate, as if he needed to stake his claim.

She opened her mouth to the thrust of his tongue, taking him into her, holding him, understanding his need as she shared it. She needed to know he was real, too. That he would be there for her when she reached out. That he was hers. No matter what.

His hand slipped down to the back of her neck, tilting her head for a better angle. Deepening the thrust, taking control away from her, leaving her helpless to do anything but receive his desire.

His hand dipped to the hollow of her back as he mated his mouth to hers, arching her over his arm. Pain stabbed up from her leg as the pressure increased. She moaned and pushed at his broad shoulders. There was only the minimal give of his shearling coat before she hit rock-hard muscle. His mouth parted, a breath from hers.

“It’s okay, baby. Just give me a little more.”

She pressed harder. “My leg.”

The words were lost in his mouth as her breath swirled with his. For the space of a heartbeat, she didn’t think he’d heard, but then he was in motion, lifting her off his lap as if she weighed nothing. Holding her so that none of her weight was on her legs as he pushed off the wall. She grabbed for his neck as he stood.

He swung her up in his arms, his chest shuddering against her as he drew in a deep breath. She tightened her grip around his neck as he cradled her close.

“I’m sorry, Sunshine.”

She didn’t want him sorry. She tilted her head back to see his face. “It was just the position.”

He was shaking his head before she finished the sentence, his long hair brushing her cheek in a soft caress.

“I should be horsewhipped for going at you like that after what you’ve been through.” He headed into the parlor.